The following is a re-re-revised re-post from something I originally gave to alt.support.grief 11/06/2002.
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1.) Eat. You may not be able to taste it, but the tissues do need nutrients. Think simple. Think comfort.
2.) Try to lie down for at least six hours a day. Do it in a series of cat-naps if you want. You may not be able to sleep. When your body needs sleep, your body will sleep. But being horizontal helps even if you're not sleeping. Try not to *try* too hard to sleep.
3.) Breathe all the way out occasionally. Breathe all the way in occasionally too.
4.) Relax you jaw muscles. Lower your shoulders. Lift your eyes to the horizon. Un-clench your hands and toes. If you can do those things, much of the rest of you might relax too.
5.) Drink a little water or juice sometimes even if you aren't eating. Stress (and crying!) is dehydrating. And being dehydrated adds to the stress.
6.) If you normally bathe, consider taking a shower instead; if you normally shower, consider taking a bath. Weird, but outlook-changing. Likewise, if you always put on your left shoe first, do the right one first today. Try it.
7.) Comfort-dress. Put on your most comfortable clothes, even if the colors don't match. Your most comfortable condition of dress (or undress).
8.) Try a new brand of . . . tea, coffee, breakfast cereal, after-shave, soap, hair gel, whatever.
9.) Make some time that is *you* time. Then, practice *not* feeling guilty about stealing that hour from your many other responsibilities. Here are some ideas: 1.) Sometimes I go to the library after work and read the funny parts in a couple of the periodicals I don't subscribe to (I mean, why *subscribe* if all I read are one column and the cartoons?). 2.) Go somewhere comfortable and anonymous (Library, park bench, a bench at the mall...) and either pull out your phone and pretend to talk to someone (like those we have lost?) or pull out a book or magazine and pretend to read. Nobody will bother you!
10.) I hate to say it, but exercise does help. Even if it is just flexing your ankles while lying on your back, it can get the lymph pumping. (I have recently discovered that some park benches are high enough to kick my feet like a little child -- gentle exercise and "it takes me back . . .") Gentle walks . . . on up to long aerobic workouts . . . it's all okay. Don't get down on yourself for not doing *more*.
11.) Find a piece of nature you can enjoy, even if for just a few minutes: an all-day hike in the pristine mountains; an afternoon near the surf-sprayed tide pool rocks; a detour into and then out of the florist's shop (the air is so great in there!); a peek into the pet store just to watch the baby whatevers crawl over each other.
12.) Write. Some write in a journal. I sometimes write "letters" to those whom I have lost. Mostly I guess my grief writing is in the form of posts to alt.support.grief.
13.) Let me know if you have other ideas that work for you!
[*Notice*: the above recommendations are based on personal experience. I am not any of the following: doctor, lawyer, psychologist, counselor, traveling salesman, or multilevel marketer. Permission is granted (Yes! Do! That's what it's for!) to use all or part of this document to help anyone dealing with grief.] -- Daniel ( deltaechom...@usa.net )
> The following is a re-re-revised re-post from something I originally > gave to alt.support.grief 11/06/2002.
> HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF > - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> 1.) Eat. You may not be able to taste it, but the tissues do need > nutrients. Think simple. Think comfort.
> 2.) Try to lie down for at least six hours a day. Do it in a series > of cat-naps if you want. You may not be able to sleep. When your > body needs sleep, your body will sleep. But being horizontal helps > even if you're not sleeping. Try not to *try* too hard to sleep.
> 3.) Breathe all the way out occasionally. Breathe all the way in > occasionally too.
> 4.) Relax you jaw muscles. Lower your shoulders. Lift your eyes to > the horizon. Un-clench your hands and toes. If you can do those > things, much of the rest of you might relax too.
> 5.) Drink a little water or juice sometimes even if you aren't eating. > Stress (and crying!) is dehydrating. And being dehydrated adds to the > stress.
> 6.) If you normally bathe, consider taking a shower instead; if you > normally shower, consider taking a bath. Weird, but outlook-changing. > Likewise, if you always put on your left shoe first, do the right one > first today. Try it.
> 7.) Comfort-dress. Put on your most comfortable clothes, even if the > colors don't match. Your most comfortable condition of dress (or > undress).
> 8.) Try a new brand of . . . tea, coffee, breakfast cereal, > after-shave, soap, hair gel, whatever.
> 9.) Make some time that is *you* time. Then, practice *not* feeling > guilty about stealing that hour from your many other responsibilities. > Here are some ideas: 1.) Sometimes I go to the library after work and > read the funny parts in a couple of the periodicals I don't subscribe > to (I mean, why *subscribe* if all I read are one column and the > cartoons?). 2.) Go somewhere comfortable and anonymous (Library, park > bench, a bench at the mall...) and either pull out your phone and > pretend to talk to someone (like those we have lost?) or pull out a > book or magazine and pretend to read. Nobody will bother you!
> 10.) I hate to say it, but exercise does help. Even if it is just > flexing your ankles while lying on your back, it can get the lymph > pumping. (I have recently discovered that some park benches are high > enough to kick my feet like a little child -- gentle exercise and "it > takes me back . . .") Gentle walks . . . on up to long aerobic > workouts . . . it's all okay. Don't get down on yourself for not > doing *more*.
> 11.) Find a piece of nature you can enjoy, even if for just a few > minutes: an all-day hike in the pristine mountains; an afternoon > near the surf-sprayed tide pool rocks; a detour into and then out of > the florist's shop (the air is so great in there!); a peek into the > pet store just to watch the baby whatevers crawl over each other.
> 12.) Write. Some write in a journal. I sometimes write "letters" to > those whom I have lost. Mostly I guess my grief writing is in the > form of posts to alt.support.grief.
> 13.) Let me know if you have other ideas that work for you!
> [*Notice*: the above recommendations are based on personal > experience. I am not any of the following: doctor, lawyer, > psychologist, counselor, traveling salesman, or multilevel marketer. > Permission is granted (Yes! Do! That's what it's for!) to use all or > part of this document to help anyone dealing with grief.] > -- > Daniel ( deltaechom...@usa.net )
Thank you Daniel. I've begun a six week series on Bereavement on my website, and shall be using this at some point. It's so helpful. I'd like to use the poem, too, You Can't Win. So many folk have come to my website in search of my own poem Death Is But A Door. I want to be able to help where I can. Mel - Author of A Painful Post Mortem
<aut...@melmenzies.co.uk> wrote: >On Oct 3, 10:28 pm, Daniel <deltaechom...@usa.net> wrote: >> The following is a re-re-revised re-post from something I originally >> gave to alt.support.grief 11/06/2002.
>> HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF >> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>> 1.) Eat. You may not be able to taste it, but the tissues do need >> nutrients. Think simple. Think comfort.
>> 2.) Try to lie down for at least six hours a day. Do it in a series >> of cat-naps if you want. You may not be able to sleep. When your >> body needs sleep, your body will sleep. But being horizontal helps >> even if you're not sleeping. Try not to *try* too hard to sleep.
>> 3.) Breathe all the way out occasionally. Breathe all the way in >> occasionally too.
>> 4.) Relax you jaw muscles. Lower your shoulders. Lift your eyes to >> the horizon. Un-clench your hands and toes. If you can do those >> things, much of the rest of you might relax too.
>> 5.) Drink a little water or juice sometimes even if you aren't eating. >> Stress (and crying!) is dehydrating. And being dehydrated adds to the >> stress.
>> 6.) If you normally bathe, consider taking a shower instead; if you >> normally shower, consider taking a bath. Weird, but outlook-changing. >> Likewise, if you always put on your left shoe first, do the right one >> first today. Try it.
>> 7.) Comfort-dress. Put on your most comfortable clothes, even if the >> colors don't match. Your most comfortable condition of dress (or >> undress).
>> 8.) Try a new brand of . . . tea, coffee, breakfast cereal, >> after-shave, soap, hair gel, whatever.
>> 9.) Make some time that is *you* time. Then, practice *not* feeling >> guilty about stealing that hour from your many other responsibilities. >> Here are some ideas: 1.) Sometimes I go to the library after work and >> read the funny parts in a couple of the periodicals I don't subscribe >> to (I mean, why *subscribe* if all I read are one column and the >> cartoons?). 2.) Go somewhere comfortable and anonymous (Library, park >> bench, a bench at the mall...) and either pull out your phone and >> pretend to talk to someone (like those we have lost?) or pull out a >> book or magazine and pretend to read. Nobody will bother you!
>> 10.) I hate to say it, but exercise does help. Even if it is just >> flexing your ankles while lying on your back, it can get the lymph >> pumping. (I have recently discovered that some park benches are high >> enough to kick my feet like a little child -- gentle exercise and "it >> takes me back . . .") Gentle walks . . . on up to long aerobic >> workouts . . . it's all okay. Don't get down on yourself for not >> doing *more*.
>> 11.) Find a piece of nature you can enjoy, even if for just a few >> minutes: an all-day hike in the pristine mountains; an afternoon >> near the surf-sprayed tide pool rocks; a detour into and then out of >> the florist's shop (the air is so great in there!); a peek into the >> pet store just to watch the baby whatevers crawl over each other.
>> 12.) Write. Some write in a journal. I sometimes write "letters" to >> those whom I have lost. Mostly I guess my grief writing is in the >> form of posts to alt.support.grief.
>> 13.) Let me know if you have other ideas that work for you!
>> [*Notice*: the above recommendations are based on personal >> experience. I am not any of the following: doctor, lawyer, >> psychologist, counselor, traveling salesman, or multilevel marketer. >> Permission is granted (Yes! Do! That's what it's for!) to use all or >> part of this document to help anyone dealing with grief.] >> -- >> Daniel ( deltaechom...@usa.net )
>Thank you Daniel. I've begun a six week series on Bereavement on my >website, and shall be using this at some point. It's so helpful. I'd >like to use the poem, too, You Can't Win. So many folk have come to >my website in search of my own poem Death Is But A Door. I want to be >able to help where I can. Mel - Author of A Painful Post Mortem
Thanks for the good word. It's nice to think these hard-won lessons may help people one-third of the way around the planet! (I'm near San Francisco, California.) May all your efforts be blessed.
> On Tue, 7 Oct 2008 09:00:09 -0700 (PDT), MelMenzies
> <aut...@melmenzies.co.uk> wrote: > >On Oct 3, 10:28 pm, Daniel <deltaechom...@usa.net> wrote: > >> The following is a re-re-revised re-post from something I originally > >> gave to alt.support.grief 11/06/2002.
> >> HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF > >> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
> >> 1.) Eat. You may not be able to taste it, but the tissues do need > >> nutrients. Think simple. Think comfort.
> >> 2.) Try to lie down for at least six hours a day. Do it in a series > >> of cat-naps if you want. You may not be able to sleep. When your > >> body needs sleep, your body will sleep. But being horizontal helps > >> even if you're not sleeping. Try not to *try* too hard to sleep.
> >> 3.) Breathe all the way out occasionally. Breathe all the way in > >> occasionally too.
> >> 4.) Relax you jaw muscles. Lower your shoulders. Lift your eyes to > >> the horizon. Un-clench your hands and toes. If you can do those > >> things, much of the rest of you might relax too.
> >> 5.) Drink a little water or juice sometimes even if you aren't eating. > >> Stress (and crying!) is dehydrating. And being dehydrated adds to the > >> stress.
> >> 6.) If you normally bathe, consider taking a shower instead; if you > >> normally shower, consider taking a bath. Weird, but outlook-changing. > >> Likewise, if you always put on your left shoe first, do the right one > >> first today. Try it.
> >> 7.) Comfort-dress. Put on your most comfortable clothes, even if the > >> colors don't match. Your most comfortable condition of dress (or > >> undress).
> >> 8.) Try a new brand of . . . tea, coffee, breakfast cereal, > >> after-shave, soap, hair gel, whatever.
> >> 9.) Make some time that is *you* time. Then, practice *not* feeling > >> guilty about stealing that hour from your many other responsibilities. > >> Here are some ideas: 1.) Sometimes I go to the library after work and > >> read the funny parts in a couple of the periodicals I don't subscribe > >> to (I mean, why *subscribe* if all I read are one column and the > >> cartoons?). 2.) Go somewhere comfortable and anonymous (Library, park > >> bench, a bench at the mall...) and either pull out your phone and > >> pretend to talk to someone (like those we have lost?) or pull out a > >> book or magazine and pretend to read. Nobody will bother you!
> >> 10.) I hate to say it, but exercise does help. Even if it is just > >> flexing your ankles while lying on your back, it can get the lymph > >> pumping. (I have recently discovered that some park benches are high > >> enough to kick my feet like a little child -- gentle exercise and "it > >> takes me back . . .") Gentle walks . . . on up to long aerobic > >> workouts . . . it's all okay. Don't get down on yourself for not > >> doing *more*.
> >> 11.) Find a piece of nature you can enjoy, even if for just a few > >> minutes: an all-day hike in the pristine mountains; an afternoon > >> near the surf-sprayed tide pool rocks; a detour into and then out of > >> the florist's shop (the air is so great in there!); a peek into the > >> pet store just to watch the baby whatevers crawl over each other.
> >> 12.) Write. Some write in a journal. I sometimes write "letters" to > >> those whom I have lost. Mostly I guess my grief writing is in the > >> form of posts to alt.support.grief.
> >> 13.) Let me know if you have other ideas that work for you!
> >> [*Notice*: the above recommendations are based on personal > >> experience. I am not any of the following: doctor, lawyer, > >> psychologist, counselor, traveling salesman, or multilevel marketer. > >> Permission is granted (Yes! Do! That's what it's for!) to use all or > >> part of this document to help anyone dealing with grief.] > >> -- > >> Daniel ( deltaechom...@usa.net )
> >Thank you Daniel. I've begun a six week series on Bereavement on my > >website, and shall be using this at some point. It's so helpful. I'd > >like to use the poem, too, You Can't Win. So many folk have come to > >my website in search of my own poem Death Is But A Door. I want to be > >able to help where I can. Mel - Author of A Painful Post Mortem
> Thanks for the good word. It's nice to think these hard-won lessons > may help people one-third of the way around the planet! (I'm near San > Francisco, California.) May all your efforts be blessed.
The second part of your list on how to take care of yourself has gone up on my blog today. (Like you I'm not sure whether I've posted a blog, or simply blogged - but whatever!). I'm sure the list will help people. Love to everyone. Mel
