My cat
Lucky
said he had fluid in his stomach and a tumor. I am so sad as he too
would sleep by my head and he loved to put his paw on my face and
lips. He as my little buddy and I felt a special connection to him
from the very beginning. I am sad today since someone at work told
me
about her cat who had a thyroid tumor and she had it removed and also
gave it radiation. She said it cost her a lot of money, but he was
doing fine. I didn't tell her about my cat, but I started feeling
extremely depressed that I did not do enough to save Wolfie. I knew
a
year ago he had a problem but they said he didn't test positive for
cancer and they put him on a low fat diet and his swollen stomach
went
down so I thought he was fine. About a month before he died, he
started hiding a lot and throwing up. I just thought he had an upset
stomach... and I didn't want to take him to the vet because the
previous year when I took him to the vet they said if he had cancer I
should let him go, since it would cost $2,200 for surgery, plus $500
a
day for hospital and chemo wld be expensive. Today, I wish I had the
foresight and paid for the surgery. He would probably be alive
today. I feel so terrible and I miss him so much. Has anyone had
experience with this? I feel sick.
Noon Cat Nick
It's common to feel guilt and remorse after having a beloved companion
animal put down due to illness. One often feels that one could have done
more to save their furchild. But those who take on that task sometimes
learn that having their friend euthanized is the kinder act, as the
pet's quality of life continues to diminish and the animal suffers. No
matter how much we miss our pets, no matter how guilty we feel for
having them put to sleep, it is an act of unmitigated charity and love
to end their unending misery and give them a dignified passing.
When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes, and all they
Have to those they love.
I too would make a will, if I could write.
To some poor, wistful, lonely stray
I'd leave my happy home,
My dish, my cozy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy,
The well-loved lap,
The gently stroking hand,
The loving voice,
The place I made in someone's heart,
The love, that at the last
Could help me to a peaceful, painless end
Held in loving arms.
If I should die,
Oh! Do not say:
"No more a pet I'll have
To grieve me by its loss."
Seek out some lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is my legacy,
The love I leave behind,
'Tis all I have to give.
--Margaret Trowton
================================
Is Heaven all you asked of it,
O little cat? Did Peter fit
A halo for your graceless head?
Is there a quilt for your special bed,
And a bowl of cream just out of reach
Of your thieving paw? Or do They teach
You not to steal in paradise?
Does the flapping of Their wings entice?
Do you scamper and swing on a golden fence,
Or are They teaching you reverence?
And are there really golden thrones
Up there? Or do the Mighty Ones
Have nice fat chairs that you can claw
And tear and snag with an impious paw?
And do the angels understand
That a little cat in a lonely land
Still longs for a kiss and a friendly cuff?
Celestial joys are not enough.
Please, some small saint in shining white,
Hold him close in your arms tonight.
--Bianca Bradbury
================================
Dancing ribbons pushed by time
Float through an old kitten's dreams.
He chases them into eternity,
And catches them,
As they change into angels' wings.
--Daryl Douglas Foyer
================================
CHOICES
by Anne Kolaczyk
The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing,
chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like
so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the
pond's water, he could see his mommy. And she was crying.
He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work,
he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's
image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.
"Is something wrong?"
The little orange boy turned around. A lady was standing at the edge of
the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy
sighed and walked out of the water. "There's been a mistake," he said.
"I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was
starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm
just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't
supposed to come here yet."
The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy
climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good.
When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked,
he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it. "I'm
afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy
knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.
The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But
she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And Daddy too."
"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."
"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had
ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was
sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how
fast he was or how big he was getting.
"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose
tears."
"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?
The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him
feel safe and loved and warm--but he still worried about his mommy.
"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.
The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around.
Cats--Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and
Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and Obie.
Dogs too--Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a lizard
named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a hamster named
Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.
She smiled at them and began:
********************************************
A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They
were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.
The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first
window at all sorts of things--dolls and stuffed animals and cars and
toys and sporting events.
"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you
from being lonesome."
"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."
"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.
But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love
them."
The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out
at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said.
"They will know you love them."
So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have
chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.
Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some
just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came
back to the Angel in Charge.
"They know we love them," they told the angel. "But they don't love us
back. We want to be loved in return."
So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of
people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to
love," the angel told them. So the Loving Ones hurried off to find
other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.
But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped
loving us and left. They broke our hearts."
The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will
have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."
As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side
and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens
and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other
Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.
But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy
Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."
"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.
"Yes," the angel said.
"Would they love us back?" another asked.
"Yes," the angel said.
"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.
"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."
"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.
But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them.
"You will have to feed these animals."
"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.
"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."
"We don't care."
The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were
and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the
animals' eyes.
"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a
warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems
malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."
But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little
bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought
they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.
"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so
dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to
outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."
The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That
is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."
The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen
Tears," he whispered.
********************************************
"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and
daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one
day it will leave them and they will cry."
The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.
"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."
"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the
edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will
she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.
She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing
how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made
them special."
She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her
fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water
here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and
petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your
mommy cries, she is healing.
"In time, she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of
you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."
"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.
The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love
again. That is all she will think about." She picked up Big Boy and
Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.
"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"
The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready
to leave his mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"
The kind lady nodded. "You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks
at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night,
when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you
both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow
to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."
"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look
at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew
she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.
"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced
over at the others, running and playing and laughing with the
butterflies. "Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be
around, I promise."
Then he turned and raced after the others.
================================
Grieve not,
nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me
as if I were beside you...
I loved you so--
'twas Heaven here with you.
--Isla Paschal Richardson
================================
Farewell, my humans, yet not farewell,
Where I go you too shall dwell.
I am gone before your face,
A moment's time, a little space.
When you come where I have stepped,
You will wonder why you wept.
--Edwin Arnold
================================
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room,
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
--Mary K. Frye
================================
Aion�a avt�u e mn�me--May his memory be eternal.
--from the Eastern Orthodox requiem service
================================
Warm summer sun shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind blow softly here,
Green sod above lie light, lie light--
Good night, dear heart, good night, good night.
--Robert Richardson, adapted from his poem "Annette" in _Willow and
Wattle_ (1893); used by Samuel Langhorne Clemens (Mark Twain) as the
epitaph for his daughter, Olivia Susan Clemens
Take care,
Nicholas
Mustang5
"Lucky" <psmi...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:3ee73b8d-66ba-4f33...@y28g2000prd.googlegroups.com...
I'm going through somewhat the same thing now. I have a female 14 year old,
Sophie, and she throws up every day. Lately she has started leaving deposits
on the carpet rather than using the litter box. The vet says she probably
has cancer in the intestines. She's lost weight, but still sits on my lap
and purrs. She wants her food and cleans her fur. I know her time is coming,
but I can't stand to lose her too soon, but I don't want to make her suffer.
I don't know what to do.
Noon Cat Nick
If she's not suffering and her quality of life is still decent, which it
seems to be, it's too soon to let her go to the Bridge. As long as she
still eats and grooms and desires your affection, let her have those
things. Should the day come when those essentials no longer interest
her, it will be time - hard though it will be - to give her that final
gift of compassion.
Mustang5
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidi...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:rsZKm.127045$5n1.51623@attbi_s21...
Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it. I wish I knew how to tell is
she had any pain, but I'm glad to keep her with me as long as I can without
making her suffer.
FirstHit
> "Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEG...@hotmail.com> wrote in messagenews:rsZKm.127045$5n1.51623@attbi_s21...
>
>
>
> > Mustang5 wrote:
>
> >> "Lucky" <psmit...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
Also consider: Did your cat enjoy sitting in the window before? Did
she like to play? Consider the things your cat used to enjoy doing.
If she still likes to do these things, she still probably has some
quality of life.
It sounds to me from what you've said that it's not time yet, but only
you can judge when her suffering outweighs the good things she may
still have.
FirstHit
Lucky
>
> - Show quoted text -
Thank you all for the poems and thoughts. What do you all think about
surgery and chemo or radiation to keep cats alive longer if they have
cancer. Is that an option or do you think it only makes the cat
suffer more than they should have to? I didn't feel like my vet last
year thought I should treat him, but rather I should just let him go
if he had cancer. Well, I had another good year with him before he
stopped doing those essential things. He still purred though the
night before I had to let him go. He was so strong and loved me so
much. I think cats are so smart and I felt connected enough to him to
believe he sensed all that was going on.
Wayne Boatwright
I had to put my cat to sleep on 11/2. Mr. Bailey was only 10 years old and
had not appeared to be ill. The vet suspected that it was either
congestive heart failure or a heart attack. The vet did not strongly
recommend any treatment in this case, but had they been able to do anything
to save him, we probably could not have afforded it. We have 4 other cats,
but Mr. Bailey and I were especially close. I feel like my heart has been
ripped out, and I still feel helpless because there were no options.
I totally understand how you're feeling. I'm so sorry.
--
~~ If there's a nit to pick, some nitwit will pick it. ~~
~~ A mind is a terrible thing to lose. ~~
**********************************************************
Wayne Boatwright
Wayne Boatwright
Cats are very good at hiding their illnesses, as well as their pain.
Still, your Sophie may not be experience much if any pain at this point.
Vets can often assess whether they think your cat is in pain and can
prescribe painkillers if necessary.
Give Sophie as much time as you can. I think you'll know when it's the
right time to let her go.
Lucky
wrote:
> On Fri 13 Nov 2009 12:17:40p, Mustang5 told us...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >news:rsZKm.127045$5n1.51623@attbi_s21...
> >> Mustang5 wrote:
>
> >>> "Lucky" <psmit...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
>
> - Show quoted text -
Thank you Wayne, I'm so sorry for your loss to. When I read your
original post it reminded me so much of my situation. Wolfie used to
sleep with me and no matter if my dog was barking or getting jealous,
he would stand his ground, I believe because he loved me so much.
It's odd, but I think my cat truly loved me more than my other animals
do. We shared a special bond from the beginning when I rescued him.
There were other kittens there that were a lot cuter, but he never
tried to jump out of my arms and seemed so content from the first
moment to let me hold him. It sounds like you felt a similar
connection with your cat. No one really understands, and I hate to
tell people who are non cat people they really don't understand. I
feel a large void, and I had no idea how much I would miss him. I am
giving my other cat and dog a lot of attention right now and that
helps - I'll never forget him or cease to miss him, though. Thanks so
much for your response and it helps to share.
Cheri
news:AcXKm.165805$Xw3.117485@en-nntp-
> I'm going through somewhat the same thing now. I have a female 14 year
> old, Sophie, and she throws up every day. Lately she has started leaving
> deposits on the carpet rather than using the litter box. The vet says she
> probably has cancer in the intestines. She's lost weight, but still sits
> on my lap and purrs. She wants her food and cleans her fur. I know her
> time is coming, but I can't stand to lose her too soon, but I don't want
> to make her suffer. I don't know what to do.
One thing I was never really sure of, but it did turn out to be true. When
it's time, you really will know. We were able to keep our dog with a decent
quality of life for several months on Metacam, but when the time came, it
was really obvious, heartbreaking, but obvious. I hope you have a lot of
quality time left. BTW, my much loved dog was named Sophie too, so hugs and
good thoughts to you and your cat Sophie.
Cheri
Mustang5
"Cheri" <che...@newsguy.com> wrote in message
news:he237...@news4.newsguy.com...
Thanks very much. My sister-in-law also had a dog named Sophie and my friend
has a filly with the same name. Popular, I guess. My Sophie seems to be
getting along fairly well, but I can't understand why she has forsaken her
litter box in favor of the carpet when the box is clean. I know she's making
a statement of some kind, but I don't know what. And in the midst of this,
we are getting ready to move, which will be more stress on her. We'll make
it as easy for her as possible. Any suggestions?