aimee bell wrote:
> one they forgot where they were placed
That's not acceptable. How do you know they forgot?
> two there were law enforcement and
> restraining orders involved
If he broke the order did you report and sign a complaint for arrest
and charging? (I would have told you, had you asked, to get out of
there and find shelter somewhere else, safe, where he couldn't find
out...DV is very dangerous for the victim..and especially if she choses
to fight back in any way, including leaving).
> three two case workers knowing about what was
> going on and yet no action to help the parent out of the beatings
CPS isn't allowed to do that type of intervention. Their responsibility
is to the safety of the child only. They certainly wouldn't be against
any action taken to control the perp though. Including arrest and
charges, and a trial if need by, by the level of assualt you suffered.
> so tell
> me the justice
Actually justice is the problem. According to the law (guessing about
your area and making it up as I go along, of course 0:->) you would
have to go through a number of steps to attain complete safety.
The truth is, and we are not made aware of this often enough, clearly
enough, the "law" is not responsible for your safety. YOU are, as we
all are, unless we are in some way incapacitated. Old, infirm, a child,
mentally limited, etc.
As long as we are sound and aware, we must take care of ourselves, and
that would include fleeing the attacker if need be, and other actions
that too risky a legal status for me to recommend, but you should speak
to an attorney about.
Such as what lengths can you go to to protect yourself and your
children. You get my drift, I'm sure.
But you must seek competent recognized legal advice, the police, or an
attorney, or the court.
> yer intelligent well spoken but completely unaware of the
> things that do happen
I presume I'm not mentally disabled, though some here might not agree,
and you are correct. I do NOT know of the things that happened to you
other than what you tell here. And from what you tell I can only say
that you should do everything you can to protect yourself and your
children...and if you ask the state to intervene, learn how they can
and what they will do, beforehand.
CPS is not the alternative for dealing with Domestic Abuse or Violence.
That is not their job. They can ONLY respond to issues that related to
the child...and violent injury to the children would even take all but
foster placement for safety out of their hands...assualt is a criminal
matter.
Domestic abuse is a police matter, not a civil, family court matter or
for CPS.
All you presented to them, from their perspective, and by their
mandated responsibility, was children in a higher risk setting...a
violent domestic abuse situation.
Please speak to an attorney in your area on both issues, your safety
and the CPS handling of your case.
I can't offer you specific advice for two reason: I'm not authorized to
do so, and I can't even really hint because your situation is unclear.
Just as you say.
What do you wish from this newsgroup?
0:-|
> <kane_poh
...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
>
news:1116045179.915763.251310@g47g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
> > I'll take the liberty of paragraphing your post for ease of
reading. My
> > apologies in advance.
> > aimee bell wrote:
> > > I'm glad that they do thier job somewhere here they lost a set of
two
> > > children didnt pay the foster parents and then another set of
foster
> > parents
> > > asked that one child be removed while they kept the other.
> > How did they lose two children?
> > Foster parents do sometimes have to wait for the subsidy and pay
for
> > upkeep out of their own pocket. From what I've heard and seen they
are
> > eventually reimbursed.
> > It may be the foster parent simply couldn't manage the behaviors of
one
> > of the children. It is not easy to find a placement for two, so the
> > agency, rather than risk the foster parent blowing out and harming
a
> > child, moved the one they could find room for.
> > > I call bullshit
> > It helps if one learns what is really happening before doing so.
> > > and to top it off by COURT ORDER they were supposed to visit
these
> > two
> > > childrens home once a month and were never seen at thier house.
> > I presume you refer to the state workers. In some states that can
be
> > covered by the child being interviewed at the office, often done
before
> > or after a parental visitation to save time and money. The foster
home
> > is, in many states, required to be visited anywhere from once a
month
> > to every quarter. And the separate worker that specializes in that
is
> > counted, in some places, if they see the child, as a "worker"
having
> > interviewed the child.
> > It's a bit more complex, but not understandibly so, than what you
are
> > claiming.
> > > So what
> > > would have happened to those two children had thier parent by the
way
> > me
> > > been abusing them.
> > Hmmm...there seems to be some misunderstanding here? If they are in
> > foster care, how could they be being abused by their parents?
> > > I take responciability for what happened but i do not
> > > believe that the system was better for my kids.
> > Hardly anyone ever does. That goes with being a parent and human.
> > > I was being beaten by my ex
> > > the kids dad and my kids were taken because i couldnt stop my ex
from
> > > beating me up I begged DHS to help and they let it escolate.
> > The beatings? You couldn't go to any other source for help but CPS?
No
> > police? No charges filed? Nothing but CPS? They aren't a domestic
abuse
> > agency where I'm from. That's a police matter.
> > > They did
> > > nothing to help but bury paperwork treatment plans and apparently
my
> > > children.
> > Do you mean bury you, or your husband, in "paperwork treatment
plans?"
> > Do you think no treatment should have been suggested?
> > > I now deal with one who was too young to remember thankgod,
> > Then what do you have to "deal with" with that one?
> > > and a
> > > four year old returned to me with oppositional difience syndrome,
> > seperation
> > > anxiety, adhd and night terrors.
> > No chance that these things (except the ADHD) might have been a
result
> > of witnessing you being beaten by their father?
> > One of the things folks in mental health work with children (my
> > history) is that while the disruptive and dangerous violence is
> > actually going on, a child puts all reactivity except possibly
> > withdrawal, on hold.
> > But once they are safe, all the damage and the symptoms surface to
be
> > taken care of. It's kind of akin to being in danger, your body
> > marshalling for combat, and only later do you break down and need
rest
> > and help to recuperate.
> > > So quick to remove a child but never worry
> > > about the consequences of the childs health or mental state
> > afterwards.
> > Well, had they waited longer there might have been abuse to them,
and
> > even worse outcomes as far as trauma to the child you are seeing.
> > > Yes
> > > the children that come to you are disturbed
> > Boy howdy, especially those that have lived in a household with a
> > raging parent, especially one that acts out violently against the
other
> > parent. It makes the kids nutso....and they show it only in the
safer
> > atmosphere of the foster home. Foster's are trained to anticipate
this,
> > it's so very common.
> > > some of them have been ripped
> > > out of thier parents arms out of thier parents lives you do what
you
> > can but
> > > imagine not knowing who the hell you are and why you think your
thier
> > parent
> > > these kids aernt being screwed up by the parents they are being
> > screwed up
> > > by the system that has no checks or balances and can play god
when
> > the
> > > funding is low.
> > No, that is not correct. It is a reaction based on bad information
you
> > have been fed. It LOOKS like that, and easily so, to someone that
is
> > going through what you went through. But there are checks and
balances,
> > and your case sounds like a classic that NEEDED cps
> > intervervention...before things got even worse for the children.
> > > It's 85% more probable for a child to be abused in Foster
> > > care than in thier own homes
> > That's not true. Someone has been lying to you. We can't even know
how
> > much abuse goes on in "their own homes" that CPS is never made
aware
> > of.
> > > so tell me where a kid is more safe and how
> > > well the system works for these kids better yet come explain to
my 4
> > year
> > > old why DHS took his mother away from him and tried to replace
her.
> > That isn't what CPS did. Why aren't YOU explaining what really
happened
> > instead of burdening your child with the fantasies of the
propagandist
> > driven anti CPS types?
> > His father beat you and endangered him and frightened him, and CPS
was
> > used by YOU to come to the solution you have NOW...he is back with
you,
> > and you are working to deal with the trauma.
> > Reread winny641's narrative. It's very typical for foster parents.
Most
> > have similar stories.
> > Try to get some information on loss issues for children, and for
> > yourself. You've suffered considerable loss. Having a violent
spouse is
> > loss. Big time.
> > Some of your views are being heavily influenced by unresolved loss
> > issues over having been a victim of domestic violence. There is ONE
> > person to blame, and only one, and it's not you. And it's not CPS.
> > Best of luck with your child. And with your life from now on.
> > 0:-)
> > > "winny641" <trcob...@bellsouth.net> wrote in message
> > > news:1114432760.694658.94550@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
> > > > Even for the the ones that do it for the money, if they are
> > providing
> > > > a nice clean home and good
...
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