Open Letter
Shawdan
This is a reprint of the Open Letter that was first published on AOL in late
August, 1995.
AN OPEN LETTER ABOUT SIDDHA YOGA
This letter is from a group of people who have left Siddha Yoga and who were,
at one time, very deeply involved with its activities. For most of us, it was
Lis Harris' November, 1994 article in The New Yorker that helped us to
acknowledge that SYDA and its leaders are quite different from what they claim
to be and what they appear to be. Many of us had known the facts in Harris'
article to be true for years, and had ignored or denied them. We had invested
our faith and trust, our idealism, and our time, energy and money, in Siddha
Yoga. We had devoted ourselves and made Siddha Yoga our life. For this reason,
facing the facts about SYDA has been and continues to be a painful process. We
break our silence now because we believe that Siddha Yoga is deceiving its
participants and we hope, in this letter, to explain how this is so.
We came to Siddha Yoga because we wished to enrich our spiritual lives. At
first, some of us had extraordinary meditation experiences; others felt they
had found at long last a community of understanding seekers. As we got more
involved, we came to believe that Gurumayi and Muktananda had valid claims to
"full enlightenment," "perfection," and "sainthood". In fact, we believed them
to be living deities. With the awakening of the kundalini through shaktipat,
we felt that we had reached the final stage of human evolution before divine
perfection. All we had to do is love, believe in, and worship the guru, no
matter what, and enlightenment would be ours.
Our faith in these concepts led us to make Siddha Yoga the most important part
of our lives. Yet, as we drew closer to the guru, we discovered that both
Muktananda and Gurumayi had private personalities that were in sharp contrast
to their public personas. We soon learned that our status as disciples," our
being "close to the Guru," depended on how well we could learn to keep the
secrets we came to know, and how skillful we could be at whitewashing and
damage control. At great cost to our own integrity, we learned to ignore or
derail the natural flow of our thoughts and feelings -- so that we could
reconcile to ourselves and others the discrepancies between the gurus' claims
to perfection and their actual behavior. Time and again we were told --
whether by swamis, hand picked lay teachers, or Ram Butler's Correspondence
Course -- that "surrender" was the path of a true disciple; that "gossip" would
only lead us to destruction. This meant subordinating our thoughts, feelings
and subjective experience in favor of a supposedly greater truth and higher
purpose, represented by the guru. We know now that we were selling ourselves
short.
We are no longer willing to give others control of our reality. We were
frightened at first when we began to question and doubt; we feared we would
lose everything if we didn't keep suppressing our thoughts and feelings, if we
didn't blindly obey. But we have found exactly the opposite to be true: by
finally telling the truth to ourselves and to others, we are regaining the
precious freedom we had lost.
We are aware that most people who are inspired by the outer beauty of Siddha
Yoga and its practices and teachings will find it hard to believe what we have
witnessed. It is not our intention here to attempt to explain the apparent
benevolence at the surface layer of Siddha Yoga. The authors of this letter
have spent a great deal of time beneath the public facade, and we have seen a
more complete picture of the secret Siddha Yoga and the double life of its
leaders than most people ever see. We believe the corruption at SYDA should
be exposed, even though a former SYDA trustee once stated in a staff meeting,
in ominous tones, that critics of Siddha Yoga who make public allegations of
misconduct will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Clearly, it is
worth a great deal of money to SYDA to try to hide the facts.
What we present here is what we know to be true. It is our hope that those who
read this will be open to hearing the truth, and to making an informed choice
about their participation. These are some of the secrets that we can no
longer, in good conscience, keep in silence:
- Through the years, there has been extensive sexual abuse and exploitation
of young women, often minors, perpetrated by Muktananda, and later by George
Afif. Hundreds of women were seduced, sexually harassed and abused in the
ashram by these men. Many of the women involved look back on the experience as
a traumatic violation. Some women sought help from swamis, staff or from
Gurumayi herself. They were told that they had brought their mistreatment upon
themselves and to be silent and tell no one. Thus, when ashram staff and
swamis are not officially denying that such things ever happened, they switch
stories and claim that Muktananda's sexual activities had a divine purpose.
With Afif, they simply blame his victims. We emphatically reject this denial.
And we reject the justification, on the basis of tantric scripture or on any
other basis, of this grotesque abuse of power which exploits and degrades
women.
- Muktananda's mastery of the abuse of power is an enduring legacy. For
years after his death, it was not just Gurumayi but also George Afif -- a man
who in 1983 pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of statutory rape -- who
ran SYDA. We even witnessed Gurumayi taking orders from him. Afif's
compulsive lust for young girls and women, his taste for the world's most
expensive clothes and objects, and his cruelty to those who cross him, is well
known to many. What is his power over Gurumayi that his notorious behavior in
the ashram was condoned and unchecked for so many years? Afif himself was
recently heard to say that he expects to return to Gurumayi's side eventually.
The party line at SYDA is that such a reunion is out of the question. But the
history between Afif and Gurumayi is not being acknowledged openly or honestly.
When that is the case, history has a way of repeating itself.
- At Afif's and Gurumayi's command, staff members - or the local devotees
they organize - have travelled all over the world since the late '80s to follow
her brother, Nityananda, and to physically attack, harass and threaten him at
every opportunity. The swamis and staff who routinely deny this are simply
lying. A devotee therapist in one city was persuaded by SYDA leaders, with
Gurumayi's blessings, to hire a professional thug to harass and threaten
Nityananda when he came to their city for a public speaking engagement.
Devotees who display their loyalty by joining in these attacks elicit praise,
gratitude and special attention from Gurumayi. It is notable that these attacks
have ceased, at least in the U.S., since they were exposed in the New Yorker
article.
- Many courses and many of the public talks given in the ashram were
dictated mostly by George Afif, but also by Gurumayi, into earphones worn by
the speakers. These include the Fire Courses, No Ego Courses, Month Long
Courses, and numerous Intensives. Many of these courses included verbally
abusive assaults on participants, which sometimes included the public
disclosure of confidential information they had written in personal letters to
Gurumayi. Afif had access to this information because he routinely read
personal mail addressed to Gurumayi.
- There are hidden video cameras in various places around the ashram. Many
guest rooms and public areas are bugged, with hidden microphones picking up the
conversation while Gurumayi and her assistants listen in. These areas include
the Amrit, the Global Communications Office, the Meditation Hall, the
Programming Office, public in-house telephone areas, and reception desks. In
addition to this surveillance by microphones and cameras, the ashram staff know
they can gain favor with Gurumayi by reporting any and all gossip to her at
once, whether about visitors or about each other.
- Ashram policies and attitudes discriminate against homosexuals. At
Gurumayi's insistence, same sex couples who are known to be lovers are not
allowed to be housed together in ashram rooms, although every effort is made to
conceal this policy from those it affects. While Gurumayi surrounds herself
with many gay and lesbian staff members, she encourages them in various ways to
conceal and disavow their orientation. Gurumayi also insisted, starting in
1991, that every gay and lesbian Hatha Yoga teacher in SYDA Ashrams and
Centers be fired by the local managers and steering committees. They were
instructed to make up some excuse but by no means to reveal that the teachers
were being fired because of their sexual orientation. Gays and lesbians are
routinely excluded from many positions and activities in Siddha Yoga
institutions, unless they happen to be wealthy and influential.
- The ashram staff is overworked and mistreated. Endless days and nights
of work are required of ashramites for barely any pay or benefits; crowded,
substandard living conditions with no privacy are typical; and sudden
banishments of people who worked hard and served faithfully for years are
common. A number of these people who were thrown out of the ashram by Gurumayi
were then told by her that they owe her thousands of dollars for their time
with her. Sadly, there are people who are sending her the money she has
demanded.
- Many of Gurumayi's staff suffer from depression, eating disorders,
addictions, and other serious emotional disturbances. Gurumayi has been
quietly sending numerous staff members and devotees to therapists and long-term
treatment facilities. What is not acknowledged is that long-term exposure to
the unhealthy dependency of ashram life and to the relentless emotional and
physical demands Gurumayi makes of her staff plays a major role in their ill
health. Ashramites usually ascribe this to the never-ending purification
process they believe they must experience in order to better serve their guru.
- Gurumayi has sent many ashramites to therapists who are devotees. Some
of these therapists violate their professional ethics and the confidentiality
of their patients by reporting the contents of these sessions to Gurumayi, at
her request. Some of us have witnessed Gurumayi, on numerous occasions,
laughing derisively with these therapists at the clinical material being
presented.
- Gurumayi claims to be a renunciate. We did amazing mental gymnastics to
overlook or rationalize her expensive taste in jewels, silks and hats; her need
to be associated with people of wealth, power and high social status; and her
need for whatever she touches to be the finest and most expensive of its kind
in the world. We even overlooked the plastic surgery she had to improve the
appearance of her cheekbones and jawline. Much of the luxury surrounding
Gurumayi is donated by devotees who quickly learn that expensive gifts can buy
Gurumayi's attention, or at least get a staff member assigned to pay attention
to them.
- The project to rebuild Lake Nityananda in the South Fallsburg ashram,
which was masterminded by George Afif, has proven to be a fiscal and public
relations fiasco for SYDA. They need more money than ever now because they
must pay enormous fines for the extensive environmental damage the project
caused in Sullivan County, N.Y. SYDA must also deal with a half-million dollar
lawsuit from the construction company they contracted with, which was later
told by SYDA that they would not be paid for the work they had done. Making
convenient use of Afif's "disappearance," they justify their refusal to pay by
claiming that Afif was never authorized to hire them in the first place. This
is just one of the many ways that SYDA is not honest about its financial
dealings.
- Mixed messages are ubiquitous in Siddha Yoga in the disguise of spiritual
truths. "Respect, love and honor the Self," but remember: you owe everything
to the guru, you can call nothing your own, only the guru matters, and you are
nothing without her. "The Guru is a perfect mirror," so remember: any
complaint, criticism or question you have is simply a reflection of your own
impurity. Though of course, the Self is pure, and you are the Self, you're
just not pure enough, yet. These and many other crazy-making messages create
mind-numbing states that teach people not to trust their own truth.
The above points, just some of the aspects of Siddha Yoga we deplore, begin to
suggest the pervasive exploitation, manipulation and disempowerment of devotees
that we wish to address. This is what we consider to be the real corruption in
Siddha Yoga. Even if Gurumayi were perfected or enlightened, which is
certainly not the case, her "mission" would never justify the secret deception
and cruelty at the core of her ashram. If we close our eyes and ears and
mouths to this deception and cruelty; if we retreat to an idealized, magical
realm of consciousness and refuse to see and hear those who have been abused
and betrayed; if we keep saying "that wasn't my experience," "it didn't happen
to me," and "I've never been involved at that level"; or perhaps worst of all,
"I know about these things, but I have found a way to accept them;" then we
ourselves are perpetuating the cycle of abuse.
It is painful to realize now how we were seduced, step by step, into
sacrificing our truth, our values, our morals, our reality, and our very sense
of self to protect and defend Muktananda and Gurumayi. They preyed on our
longing and our vulnerability and we tried to mold ourselves to be what they
required of us. We thought if we just chanted more Guru Gitas, gave more
money, did more seva, slept less, ate less, smiled more, took one more
Intensive, dressed this way instead of that way, dyed our hair, grew it back
natural, cut it all off, gave the right gift, told the right joke, did the
right trick; then maybe the guru would grace us with her approval and validate
our existence. When we finally caught our breath, we were amazed to discover
how many lies we had told, how Siddha Yoga had taught us to let fear, shame and
guilt run our lives.
We no longer need to betray our own integrity, trying to get love from a guru
whose love is tainted by her need to control and exploit others. After many
years, we've learned that our healthiest response to Siddha Yoga has been to
leave it. We now know it is not in Gurumayi's or anyone else's power to grant
enlightenment. Grace is in each of us to do that for ourselves, each in our
own way.
Had the climate for telling the truth existed in the ashram, perhaps this
letter would not have to be written. But Gurumayi and her swamis are not
telling the truth about sexual abuse, about the harassment of Nityananda, and
about many other matters. It is sad to witness senior members of the Siddha
Yoga community lying. While we recognize the importance of examining the
weaknesses in ourselves that led us to become entrapped, this in no way
diminishes the fact that Siddha Yoga is fraudulent at the core.
As we continue to free ourselves of Siddha Yoga, we are getting back in touch
with a fuller range of our feelings. This has been difficult, because we
worked so hard to limit ourselves only to the narrow range of feelings
considered acceptable on the "spiritual path." We are becoming reunited with
our intellect, which we were encouraged to still, focus and numb out of
existence, at least in part so as to blind ourselves to the deception and
hypocrisy we found in the ashram.
We are learning again what it means to have free time, to have friends, to
play, to be intimate with others. We are learning again what it feels like to
take pride in our work, our creativity, our families, our selves, and our
spiritual growth, without having to pay what are virtually extortion fees for
the guru's "protection." We are free of the guilty need to "owe it all to the
guru."
This is an anonymous letter because SYDA, represented by its powerful law firms
and supported by the personal fortunes of numerous wealthy devotees, can harass
its critics not only with expensive lawsuits, but have in the past violently
assaulted their critics and attempted to discredit them with malicious lies.
They demonstrate a belief they hold in common with other totalitarian systems:
that their agenda justifies any kind of behavior, no matter how destructive.
We have learned that we can speak no criticism of the guru without instantly
being shunned, avoided and labeled mentally unbalanced by those who remain
loyal to SYDA. We are hurt, angry and sad about this. We mourn the loss of
friends and family we still care deeply for. We hope they will someday allow
themselves to know the truth about Siddha Yoga, and that they will cease to
allow themselves to be deceived and silenced.
Sincerely,
Some People Who Have Left Siddha Yoga
P.S. This letter is an independent publication which is not sponsored by any
organization (including the one listed below), or any group or person
associated with any other teacher or guru. Information and support about abuse
in religious groups is available through
The Cult Information Service, inc. - http://members.aol.com/shawdan/cis.htm
Sha...@aol.com (Daniel Shaw)
http://members.aol.com/shawdan/page1.htm
Shawdan
>Does anyone know why
>bugging devices are needed?
Bugging devices were a favorite of Baba's, who also enjoyed visual voyeuristic
activities. Secretly listening and looking were perverse pleasures that Baba
could not deny himself. He was famoud for hiding behind the curtains peering
out at people going by, and stopping women and fondling them, and other such
incidents, some of which were reported on the AOL forums, which are archived on
the America Online Hinduism File Library.
Aside from his penchant for sexual voyeurism (and exhibitionism), Baba's secret
listening habits were related to his paranoia -- his need for control; his wish
to catch people unawares, to find out what they were saying about him; and to
gather evidence against people he wished to shame or punish in some way.
Specifically, when rumors of his sexual activities were spreading, he used
bugging devices to hear what people were saying about him so he could quickly
punish them and shut them up.
Gurumayi and George Afif simply carried on the tradition, using the bugging
devices in the same paranoid ways.