OT: What Women HATE Most About Single Guys...
Xenos the elder
What Women HATE Most About Single Guys...
If you listen to a group of attractive, single
women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the
topic will always turn to MEN.
And in most cases, it will eventually turn into
a RANT session about how hard it is to find good
men to date...
Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about
men in general...
...And wind up with a detailed list of all the
traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
The reality is that single women have an
entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and
characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
Did you know this?
I didn't think so.
Well, the truth is that up until a few years
ago, I didn't know this either.
So take heart in the idea that you're about to
learn something that most men on this planet will
DIE not knowing.
My hope is that what I'm about to share with
you will change how you interact with women
FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the
kinds of women you're interested in.
Onward.
FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
For women, friendships and romantic
relationships are two separate things. They are
NOT the same.
One can lead to another, but it's RARE when
it happens.
Remember that.
One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
"Romantic" relationships are very different
from "friend" relationships.
While most men would sleep with most of their
female "friends" if the woman "came on" to
them, most women would NOT sleep with most
men that they consider "just friends".
But why is this?
How do women differentiate between "just
friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
And why is it so hard to become "more than
friends" with a woman you've been "just friends"
with for a long time?
The answer to this riddle is very interesting
to me.
I believe that the answer comes down to
understanding HOW women "know" when they want
to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE
importantly, understanding how women "know"
when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a
man...
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy
she's with is "friend" material or "lover"
material is how she FEELS.
It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and
PHYSICAL feelings.
It is NOT logic.
She might USE logic to "rationalize" her
decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like
she has a good reason for either "being with" or
"not being with" a particular guy.
But don't let that distract you.
Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
So let me say this another way.
A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or
physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the
basis for her "decisions" and actions with a
particular guy.
If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then
her "logical" conclusion will probably not be
that she wants to date the guy in question.
If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here"
feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will
probably be that this guy is interesting and
attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At
this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings
and thoughts...
It goes like this:
FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and
THEN the action.
Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an
important question:
How do most guys behave around women that
they're "romantically" interested in?
And another:
What do they do to get the woman that's the
object of their desires to be with them?
Take a few minutes to think about this. Make
a list if you have paper and pen handy.
I'm serious. I'll wait.
Come back when you're finished.
Now take a look at your list.
I'll bet that almost every single thing on
your list was something "external".
In other words, your list probably contains
things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her
compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call
her often".
These are all things that demonstrate that
he's INTERESTED.
They are NOT things that trigger those
emotional and physical feelings inside of a
woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
In other words, men try to use "props" to
LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
...HOPING that when the woman sees these
displays she'll be interested in him.
Almost NONE of the things men do to court
women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely
similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
Of course, you know this.
You've probably done this stuff about a
bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's
like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular
woman know that I'm interested... only to have
her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that
it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to
go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like
her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
In the moment it sure seems to make sense...
"If I show her how I feel, she'll return the
feelings".
Duh.
Like I said, it seems like the right thing
to do in the moment (when your inner little
girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it
will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
And second, it communicates clearly that
YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY
that you're not hip to what's going... and it
kills your chances with her.
Say what?
You mean that doing nice things for women,
and trying to show how you feel can actually
HURT your chances with a woman?
Yea, it can.
Look, if you've been dating a woman
exclusively for six months, and her birthday
comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell
her that you like spending time with her.
YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.
But if you've known a woman for six DAYS
and you try this kind of thing, you're going
to shoot yourself in the foot.
Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who
DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS
you're trying to compensate for the fact that
you don't get it with gifts and compliments,
then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed,
as the case may be).
Remember what I'm about to tell you.
Burn it into your mind.
Write it on a sticky-note and put it on
your computer monitor...
SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN
TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY
KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND
THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T
"GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING
AND TRYING.
Keep in mind that single, attractive women
watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake
their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get
it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it"
over and over and over.
The point is that if you DON'T GET IT,
then nothing you do is going to work for you.
The problem is bigger than you can imagine,
and you're going to need to take a totally
different road to get where you're going...
WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST
ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
Let's return to where we started.
There are a few particular things that
REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
One of the reasons that these things
annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
A woman can like everything about you, but
if you do these things (or even ONE of these
things), it can DESTROY your chances of
success with a particular woman.
Here are a few of the BIG things that
single women hate:
1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For
Her Attention And Approval
If I had to describe the one single thing
that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's
chances, it would be this.
It has taken me a long time to see this
particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your
approval and attention. I'm willing to let
YOU be the one who's in control... and let
YOU call the shots... and do anything to please
YOU... if you'll give me your attention and
approval".
But the problem is that women DON'T WANT
you to give up your status and "manliness".
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act
weak and tentative.
Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does
something to demonstrate that he'll give
away his power in return for approval.
THEY HATE IT!
I could literally write an entire book on
this one single concept.
Take a few minutes to think this one over,
and maybe write down the ways that you make
this mistake with women.
More importantly, think about how you're
going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
When one person "clings" to another person
"psychologically", the person who is being
"clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy,
clingy emotional parasite...
This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
If a guy is on the phone with a girl he
just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go",
he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will
you call me when you get home?".
Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on
their first date, and they're walking around
in a large department store.
Most guys will follow the woman everywhere,
and not leave her side for a minute.
If she wanders away, he'll come find her
IMMEDIATELY.
He'll stay physically close to her, as if
he's afraid she'll leave without him.
And an even worse example is a guy who is
so emotionally insecure that he actually
ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun,
interesting, etc.
"Do you think I'm interesting?"
"Do you think we could ever have a
relationship?"
"Am I your type?"
Women HATE this stuff. It makes them
shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them
want to RUN AWAY.
3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To
Get Her To Lead
Women have WUSS-DAR.
One of the things that triggers a woman's
WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.
The REAL problem is that most women won't
try to LEAD naturally.
So you've got a situation where a man is
trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.
He's looking for little cues so he knows
where to go and what to do... but he isn't
getting them.
So what does he do?
He ASKS for them!
He says "So, I was thinking of maybe
taking you to Olive Garden for dinner... how
does that sound?".
Everything about the way he asks says to
the woman "I'm trying to figure out what you
want me to do... please help me know how you
want me to act, where you want me to take
you, and what you want me to say".
This is ATTRACTION DEATH!
men who don't lead, and even worse, try
to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL OUT
OF SINGLE WOMEN.
They HATE IT!
4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking,
Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone,
And Body Language
There's a term that single, attractive,
in-demand women use to describe men who use
weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures,
comments, and mannerisms...
The term is "NICE".
"He's nice... but... there's no chemistry."
This is one of those areas that's not
easy to talk about.
Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff,
it's almost impossible to explain.
It's like trying to tell a fish that
they're not going to get anywhere in life
if they stay wet.
The fish doesn't even KNOW it's wet in
the first place.
But let me try.
This is important.
Go spend a day observing couples.
Go places where couples that have just
met spend time together.
Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever.
Now watch the GUYS.
Watch how they lean towards the women.
Watch how they raise their eyebrows in
exaggerated response to women's comments.
Watch how they slump over, let their
shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly
at whatever the women say.
If you're close enough, listen to how men
ask questions and make comments with a voice
tone that says "I'm insecure and I'm trying
to be extra nice to compensate for it".
You'll see it EVERYWHERE.
In fact, you'll see it so much that
you'll probably write me back to tell me
that I'm the one who's crazy, and that since
it happens so much, it must be "the right
way".
Well, it's not.
If there's one thing that triggers an
attractive single woman's WUSS-DAR, it's
a man's posture, gestures, eye contact,
voice tone, etc.
It all happens in an INSTANT.
Women read this stuff and interpret it
as instantly and accurately as you read
and interpret the cover of Playboy.
NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.
I'd say that probably 90% of all men
alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves
with women because of this problem.
Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc.
TELEGRAPH the message that they're a WUSS.
They do a thousand weird little things to
let a woman know that they're uncomfortable
and "not being themselves".
And you guessed it...
Single women HATE IT!
5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And
You're A Man
I'm about to get philosophical on your ass,
so be cool.
When it comes down to it, most men don't
understand women.
But the REAL kicker is that most men don't
understand MEN, either!
Most guys don't know what it's like to get
in touch with their MALE NATURE.
Combine these two issues, and you get a
guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger
ATTRACTION in women.
Women have a "nature". A female nature.
Men also have a "nature". You guessed it,
it's a MALE nature.
Women are coy. They like to play hard to
get. They like to enjoy the chase. They love
anticipation. They love to "let a guy catch
them"...
Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men
like to play rough games, win things, and
rule their territory.
Well guess what?
Most men don't BEHAVE like men when they're
in the presence of a woman that they "like".
And since most men don't understand female
human nature, they don't demonstrate that
they "get it" when they're with women that
they "like".
Women like men. Men like women. There are
POWERFUL causes at play here.
When you're around a woman you like, don't
act like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy, and it's
not attractive...
And single women HATE IT!
6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around
Underneath most behavior that I see most
guys acting out is a "core belief" that goes
like this:
"I don't believe that an attractive woman
would want to be around me just because she
enjoys my presence... so I make up for it by
saying and doing certain things that I hope
she'll enjoy... and if she enjoys those
other things enough, then maybe she'll want
to spend more time with me."
Heavy, man.
Well guess what? Most attractive single
women KNOW that if a guy isn't interesting
to be around, they she's eventually going to
go CRAZY being around him.
In other words, no amount of material
gifts, compliments, dinners, and other
"displays" will EVER compensate for a lack
of BEING INTERESTING.
Here's a profound thought:
I and several other guys I know have
many women who call us often... just because
they enjoy being around us.
These women would be happy just to be in
the same room with us... and enjoy our
company.
And yes, these women CALL US.
Often.
Material gifts, food, flowers, and other
"displays" have ZERO lasting value to a
woman when it comes to how she FEELS about
you...
An attractive single woman wants a guy
who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.
She wants mystery... she wants to laugh...
she wants a challenge... she wants sexual
tension...
If you're using compliments, gifts, food,
and other "displays" to get a woman's
attention... you need to ask yourself a
tough question:
Is it because you don't believe that a
woman would want to be around you just to
be around you?
Because if you don't know how to be
INTERESTING to a woman, then no amount of
compensation is going to fix the problem.
If you're boring, predictable, and
uninteresting, then you're never going to
have women calling YOU to hang out.
Oh, and women HATE IT.
7) Not Understanding Attraction
This is a BIGGIE.
You hear me talking about it all the time,
right?
Maybe now that you've read this newsletter
you'll have a better context to understand
what I'm about to tell you...
If you "get it" with women, it's SUPER
INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE to them.
Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they're
with a guy who "gets it".
Women know very quickly if they're
talking to a guy who understands himself
and women... and who enjoys creating and
building sexual tension.
Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET
LANGUAGE of "Sexual Communication".
If he doesn't, then she stops all
communication on that level.
If he does, then it continues.
ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.
Attraction is an emotional and physical
RESPONSE... and you can't "convince" a woman
to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.
Attraction is the result of a woman meeting
a man who understands how attraction works...
and who knows what to do in each specific
situation to progress to the next level.
The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with
success with women in general is that the
things you need to DO to be successful are NOT
OBVIOUS.
They're "counter intuitive", in many cases.
In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of
what you'd THINK would make sense.
You have to do things like CREATE
TENSION... stop doing something that she
likes... give her time to miss you... etc.
And if you don't understand ATTRACTION,
a woman is going to KNOW IT.
And guess what?
Single women HATE IT when a man doesn't
understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate
on this "other level".
< --- snip --- >
I thing this is the best i ever got and he is describing very well the
mistakes i am making.
Mike (Remove X's to reply)
I am still wondering why I would get flamed for a post like this, while you
seem to get away from it without getting burned. Maybe because you are
European. ;-) Can I borrow your asbestos suit? :-D
I just wanted to belatedly thank you for the information you sent to me a
couple of weeks ago. For some reason your email bouced when I sent a reply.
Thanks for the info. I appreciate it.
Thanks,
Mike
--
To reply via email remove the X's from my email address:
aXeXn...@gwis.com
"Xenos the elder" <nufsn...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3F9597D...@hotmail.com...
bogart
bogey
Xenos the elder
Mike (Remove X's to reply) wrote:
>Xenos,
>
>I am still wondering why I would get flamed for a post like this, while you
>seem to get away from it without getting burned. Maybe because you are
>European. ;-) Can I borrow your asbestos suit? :-D
>
Asbestos is my middle name.
I think most women here have me in they killfile.
>
>I just wanted to belatedly thank you for the information you sent to me a
>couple of weeks ago. For some reason your email bouced
>
Fake email.
> when I sent a reply.
>Thanks for the info. I appreciate it.
>
I am 50 years old and i have no time to figured out everything on my own.
It will take me 10 years. I spare no expenses or work to figure out "
what is ".
>
>Thanks,
>
>Mike
>
>--
>To reply via email remove the X's from my email address:
> aXeXn...@gwis.com
>
>
>"Xenos the elder" <nufsn...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:3F9597D...@hotmail.com...
>
>
< --- snip ---- >
bogart
> I am 50 years old and i have no time to figured out everything on my own.
> It will take me 10 years. I spare no expenses or work to figure out "
> what is ".
I feel like that too Xenos (and am also 50).
But perhaps its a dynamic system not a simple linear one
(or even richer than that). What I mean is that what
you do influences the outcome which influences what
you do and so on. The result is that perhaps there are many
possible answers not one.
bogey
LeModernCaveman
>it's never a "rag" session.
>
>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when
they take the advice in this post.
LoriMc
trashing men when we are having a conversation with each other.
As for the friend part, I wouldn't even consider dating or sleeping with a
person if I didn't think they were my friend. And just because you are
friends doesn't mean you have to date or have sex with a person!
Lori Mc
Bill in Co
> IMO this is crap. Some of us women do have a life other then gossiping
> and trashing men when we are having a conversation with each other.
You mean ... when you're not sitting around together eating bonbons?
LeModernCaveman
>trashing men when we are having a conversation with each other.
>As for the friend part, I wouldn't even consider dating or sleeping with a
>person if I didn't think they were my friend. And just because you are
>friends doesn't mean you have to date or have sex with a person!
What's the shortest amount of time you've ever slept with a man after first
meeting him?
bogart
the way to succeed with them. More intimacy with females would
be very welcome in my life.
bogey
> Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do,
> it's never a "rag" session.
>
> I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>
> Barb
Xenos the elder
bogart wrote:
I want one of the top 3 answers fore my self.
|3ill|3o
wrote:
If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes
about.
If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek
club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a
shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some
game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of
woman's "wuss-dar."
If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are
married?
I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this
way.
People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of
many.
-- billbo
_
<*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<><
Who is General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Xenos the elder
Fore a man who don't know it is better to listen to other more experienced men.
Xenos the elder
ml
>On 21 Oct 2003 22:50:03 GMT, lemoder...@aol.com (LeModernCaveman)
>wrote:
>
>>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do,
>>>it's never a "rag" session.
>>>
>>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>>
>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when
>>they take the advice in this post.
>>
>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
>
>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes
>about.
>
>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
>
>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek
>club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a
>shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some
>game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of
>woman's "wuss-dar."
>
>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are
>married?
>
>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this
>way.
>
>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of
>many.
well, you're pretty cool... there aren't too many like you out there. :-)
Xenos the elder
|3ill|3o wrote:
On 21 Oct 2003 22:50:03 GMT, lemoder...@aol.com (LeModernCaveman) wrote:Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, it's never a "rag" session. I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when they take the advice in this post.If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it. Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes about. If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate. What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of woman's "wuss-dar."
I think that's what the
"wuss-dar." is about. It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you want. Men with no pride are disgusting to women. It least i interpreted the letter that way.
bogart
> "wuss-dar."
> is about.
> It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you want.
> Men with no pride are disgusting to women.
> It least i interpreted the letter that way.
I don't think its pride Xenos. Pride is a thin
unsatisfying emotion (maybe not even an emotion,
perhaps a need).
For example I think its possible to be quite self-less
and still be attractive. My guess would be that people
like Ghandi were very attractive to women for instance.
I think its courage, risk taking, confidence, and being at
ease with yourself. Maybe I'm wrong - female opinion please
respond.
bogey
Xenos the elder
bogart wrote:
This is what i mean with pride.
ml
Just my opinion:
Being a doormat is a turnoff. So is being mean.
Being closed-off and secretive is a turnoff. Being fake or igotistical is a
turnoff.
Being gentle but strong, affectionate and emotionally open are turnons.
Being protective is a turnon. Being able to express feelings is a turnon.
And the #1 turnon: Caring about me. :-)
|3ill|3o
>>>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do,
>>>>it's never a "rag" session.
>>>>
>>>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>>>>
>>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when
>>>they take the advice in this post.
>>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
>>
>>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes
>>about.
>>
>>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
>>
>>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek
>>club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a
>>shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some
>>game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of
>>woman's "wuss-dar."
>If you don't respect yourself don't expect to be respected.
>I think that's what the "wuss-dar." is about.
>It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you want.
Sorry Xenos. I respect your need to look into all this ... If you think
that you have self-esteem problems, then please look into it. You may want
to look into it without it being wrapped up in the whole, how to attract
women thing. There are many self esteem books, and self help books; and
they give many tips and different ways of looking at life and oneself. I've
gotten some good ideas from all those thoughts.
There's a difference between being a "doormat" & doing things for
women that u like.
If a woman rejects me because I show too much interest, lol ...
there's something wrong with this woman. Being a doormat is an extreme, so
look into it.
This person's main example are people's interactions in a bar. So,
immediately it's about people who like bars. The old party scene. Another
example where women who "call them," and hang out at their house ... yet he
never attempted to describe who these women are - can we say, "party girl."
(excuse this major generalization!) ... I guess he thinks they are all the
same. They're not.
I'm not into bars, or party girls, or drunken debouchery, or being the
life of the party - nor will I ever be. If that means I'm not attractive to
90% of women out there, so be it. That leaves millions of possible women
... it only takes one.
Try places where u are comfortable, and on top of your form; glass
making or solar conventions, clubs where u meet people with the same
interests. Places where what your good at can shine through.
There are many types of people ... I don't play games with people; if
people play games with me - I head in the other direction. Life is too
short for these games.
What I've noticed, is that there are a few people (men and women) that u
just "click" with. Talk comes naturally, and u have an immediate comradery.
This has a lot to do with personality types, and common interests and
life-views.
The guy who wrote this would probably say, look out; your going to be
"just" friends - no romance. Well, if that's the case, so what? I like
being friends with women!
Being friends is a prerequisite to a good relationship (IMHO). This
fellow separated the two as if they were incompatible - jeez.
That's how I met my ex, our first meeting we talked for 4 hours
straight .... it took almost a year to get romantic with her -- we were
friends 1st. And it wasn't because of this fellow's friends nixes romance
philosophy; it was because she was involved with someone.
All these ideas, are just ideas - life is a huge hodge podge of ideas ...
There are no absolutes that fit all people.
>Men with no pride are disgusting to women.
>It least i interpreted the letter that way.
I believe there is a difference between pride and self-esteem; as bogey
pointed out.
To be comfortable with yourself is a key to a lot of things in life;
as well as attracting a woman of like interests. Go places where you are
comfortable, and your self-confidence in "your interests" are apparent. Try
different places, coffee houses, physical fitness clubs, walk in the park
(a dog is an invitation to many to say hi, oh how cute), -- don't let your
self-esteem get bonked because it doesn't "click," just know it only takes
one; and your happy in the meantime. Learn to laugh!
I was raised with little self-esteem. I garnered mine through reading a lot
of philosophy books, and just life-experience. I learned early on that
there are many ways to look at life; many different types of people. Anyone
who says they "know what's going on" is suspect in my book, or trying to
sell u something.
Divorce can knock you down, waaaaay down .... everything in your life
is suspect - self esteem has to be relearned or rekindled as the questions
that cloud your perception get answered.
best to you -- billbo
>>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are
>>married?
>>
>>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this
>>way.
>>
>>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of
>>many.
>>
>> -- billbo
<*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<><
The Universe is a figment of its own imagination.
Mike [remove (SPAM_BLOCKER) from my email address to reply]
Thanks,
Mike
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To reply via email remove the (SPAM_BLOCKER) from my email address:
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"ml" <i...@hatespam.com> wrote in message
news:Erxlb.33265$Rd4.30475@fed1read07...
|3ill|3o
nice list ... I imagine many women actually do have these kind of qualities
high on their list.
Now where are these women?? ... my igo could use some building up!
; ) heehee
j/k sweety - billbo
Capt'n! The spellcheckerrr kinna take much morrre of this abuse!
_
LeModernCaveman
>>they take the advice in this post.
>>
>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
It's more like these are the most physically desirable women, so men have to
tolerate the behavior. They don't like women because they behave this way, but
in spite of it.
Women, on the other hand, actually like the behavior. If a nice girl goes bad,
she attracts the same number of men; if a nice guy goes bad, he goes from
getting no women to getting a harem.
>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes
>about.
>
>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
And they'll call you LOSER. That's the sad thing.
>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church,
"I don't go to church to meet men" is what she can say if she doesn't like the
guy.
>star trek
>club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc.
"I don't go to bookstores to meet men" is her all-purpose excuse.
>If someone connects over a
>shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some
>game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of
>woman's "wuss-dar."
Why would a "shared interest" be a foundation for a marriage? That's how
FRIENDS hook up, not lovers.
>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are
>married?
They settle for less attractive women on less favorable terms.
>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this
>way.
You mean they SAY this.
>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of
>many.
The one common to hotties.
LeModernCaveman
But be careful: as more women become aware that men are figuring out the rules,
the rules they shall change.
The one flaw in the player methods is that they assume that female behavior is
unchanging when that is clearly not the case.
Xenos the elder
There are many self esteem books, and self help books; and they give many tips and different ways of looking at life and oneself. I've gotten some good ideas from all those thoughts. There's a difference between being a "doormat" & doing things for women that u like. If a woman rejects me because I show too much interest, lol ... there's something wrong with this woman. Being a doormat is an extreme, so look into it.
This person's main example are people's interactions in a bar. So, immediately it's about people who like bars. The old party scene. Another example where women who "call them," and hang out at their house ... yet he never attempted to describe who these women are - can we say, "party girl." (excuse this major generalization!) ... I guess he thinks they are all the same. They're not. I'm not into bars, or party girls, or drunken debouchery, or being the life of the party - nor will I ever be. If that means I'm not attractive to 90% of women out there, so be it. That leaves millions of possible women ... it only takes one. Try places where u are comfortable, and on top of your form; glass making or solar conventions, clubs where u meet people with the same interests. Places where what your good at can shine through.
There are many types of people ... I don't play games with people; if people play games with me - I head in the other direction. Life is too short for these games. What I've noticed, is that there are a few people (men and women) that u just "click" with. Talk comes naturally, and u have an immediate comradery. This has a lot to do with personality types, and common interests and life-views. The guy who wrote this would probably say, look out; your going to be "just" friends - no romance. Well, if that's the case, so what? I like being friends with women! Being friends is a prerequisite to a good relationship (IMHO). This fellow separated the two as if they were incompatible - jeez.
That's how I met my ex, our first meeting we talked for 4 hours straight .... it took almost a year to get romantic with her -- we were friends 1st. And it wasn't because of this fellow's friends nixes romance philosophy; it was because she was involved with someone. All these ideas, are just ideas - life is a huge hodge podge of ideas ... There are no absolutes that fit all people.Men with no pride are disgusting to women. It least i interpreted the letter that way.I believe there is a difference between pride and self-esteem; as bogey pointed out. To be comfortable with yourself is a key to a lot of things in life; as well as attracting a woman of like interests. Go places where you are comfortable, and your self-confidence in "your interests" are apparent.
Try different places, coffee houses, physical fitness clubs, walk in the park (a dog is an invitation to many to say hi, oh how cute), -- don't let your self-esteem get bonked because it doesn't "click," just know it only takes one;
and your happy in the meantime. Learn to laugh!
bogart
doormat humour ?
bogey
Mike [remove (SPAM_BLOCKER) from my email address to reply]
tough dude! There is no way that Ghandi would ever act or be desperate for
love. He was most definately an alpha male.
Just because you detest violence doesn't mean that you can't be tough.
Thanks,
Mike
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"bogart" <nor...@here.there> wrote in message
news:bn5gcu$j7t$1...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk...
bogart
> tough dude! There is no way that Ghandi would ever act or be desperate for
> love. He was most definately an alpha male.
>
> Just because you detest violence doesn't mean that you can't be tough.
I agree. But Ghandi was too mature for pride.
My point was that its not pride that is the
determinant, its something else.
bogey
Specialsearcher
>Now where are these women?? ... my igo could use some building up!
>
> ; ) heehee
>
>
Have you tried an Arab country?
Specialsearcher
>>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
The only problem I see with women that can still have children is that theres
not enough of them around!
Specialsearcher
>What's the shortest amount of time you've ever slept with a man after first
>meeting him?
>
>
>
Doesn't that depend on how cute and/or fun the guy is?
|3ill|3o
wrote:
>>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when
>>>they take the advice in this post.
>>>
>>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
>
>It's more like these are the most physically desirable women, so men have to
>tolerate the behavior. They don't like women because they behave this way, but
>in spite of it.
That's a prob with "desirable" types, men and women. They know it, and are
quite spoiled by it, and I have no interest in bending over backwards for
anyone. Other's do, so the cycle continues.
A "desirable" type is for many, a red-flag. Because of the above
potential in these "popular types."
>Women, on the other hand, actually like the behavior. If a nice girl goes bad,
>she attracts the same number of men; if a nice guy goes bad, he goes from
>getting no women to getting a harem.
Though again, this does not apply to all women. I'm not interested in
a harem, or this kind of woman. Men who don't go bad do have women.
"Loose Lucy, she was sore,
says I know you don't want my love no more,
yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh
singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
Be-bop baby how can this be?
I know you been out a' cheating on me,
round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
don't take much to get the word around.
Cross my heart and hope to die,
I was just hanging out with the other guys,
yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh
singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!' "
>>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes
>>about.
>>
>>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
>
>And they'll call you LOSER. That's the sad thing.
Like I would care what they think. It is sad.
>>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church,
>
>"I don't go to church to meet men" is what she can say if she doesn't like the
>guy.
>
>>star trek
>>club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc.
>
>"I don't go to bookstores to meet men" is her all-purpose excuse.
No they go to bars and parties .... [shudder]
>>If someone connects over a
>>shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some
>>game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of
>>woman's "wuss-dar."
>
>Why would a "shared interest" be a foundation for a marriage? That's how
>FRIENDS hook up, not lovers.
jeez louise ... how can u separate the two ... I have no interest in
hanging with someone I don't feel is a friend. Why would I consider someone
not a friend a lover (unless it's just for pure sexual indulgence). My time
is too precious to give up that much time, to meet and coerce someone into
bed for just an hours worth of sex ...
If I'm not enjoying their company ... what a waste of many many hours.
Get a life ... is all I can say.
>>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are
>>married?
>
>They settle for less attractive women on less favorable terms.
What makes a person attractive is their spirit. I've known many pretty
women, and most were not attractive to me.
U mean "on better terms." It's the pretty ones who want u to bend over
backwards for them; or play some game to keep them interested.
If we can't treat each other as equals and with respect ... I'm not
interested.
>>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this
>>way.
>
>You mean they SAY this.
yes ... my best friend through most of the last decade recognized her
pattern of intelligent, geeky types, who would wow her with some
intelligent commentary .... it never worked ultimately in a relationship;
she'd recognize the pattern, but couldn't kick it. She was model beautiful
too, though she was a rare one who was very humble about it, incredibly
intelligent, and deep.
>>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of
>>many.
>
>The one common to hotties.
mmmm ... maybe so; as discussed earlier.
There's a part of life that is based on superficial qualities like physical
attraction and based a lot on self gratification.
There's a part of life based on intelligence, and thoughtful deliberation
on fulfilling and growing experiences.
There's a side that's emotional, and not so easily put into words.
There's also a part of life where we look beyond the personal to the big
picture; sometimes called a spiritual path, and enlightening and growing to
all involved.
It depends on where you've placed your priorities ...
No one way fits all ...
-- billbo
Loose Lucy
----------
Loose Lucy is my delight,
she come runnin' and we ball all night,
round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
don't take much to get me on the ground.
She's my yo-yo, I'm her string,
listen to the birds on the hot wire sing,
yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh
singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
I got jumped coming home last night,
shadow in the alley turned out all my lights,
round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
don't take much to get me on the ground.
Loose Lucy, she was sore,
says I know you don't want my love no more,
yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh
singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
Be-bop baby how can this be?
I know you been out a' cheating on me,
round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
don't take much to get the word around.
Cross my heart and hope to die,
I was just hanging out with the other guys,
yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh
singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
Went back home with two black eyes,
you know I'll love ya til the day I die,
round and round and round and round and round and round and round,
don't take much to get the word around.
I like your smile but I ain't your type,
don't shake the tree when its fruit ain't ripe,
yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh,
singing yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh,
singing yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh-yeh yeh,
singing, "Thank you, for a real good time!"
_
<*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<><
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Joy
"Xenos the elder" <nufsn...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:3F966FC7...@hotmail.com...
I agree with Bogey here - but I'll have to say that is not what the word
pride means to me. To me, pride can carry the meaning of being arrogant or
conceited. There are few things that are a bigger turn-off than thinking
you are God's gift to women - in a man who really, really isn't.
non...@yourbusiness.com
>
>
>
>What Women HATE Most About Single Guys...
Who cares?
Any guy who worries about that has *way* too much time on his hands,
and needs to go out and get a life.
So here's a little sentiment for the navel-gazers (and maybe a few of
our women readers) to digest, from the song "The Truth About Men":
"Well, that's the truth about men.
Yeah, that's the truth about us.
We like to hunt and golf on our days off,
Scratch, an' spit, an cuss.
It don't matter what line we hand you,
When we come draggin' in.
We ain't wrong; we ain't sorry,
An' it's probably gonna happen again."
|3ill|3o
wrote:
oh my god! .... those horrible, horrible evil wimminz!
_
<*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<>< <*{{{<><
Looks are but a layer of skin covering one's soul.
Xenos the elder
Specialsearcher wrote:
If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.The only problem I see with women that can still have children is that theres not enough of them around!
http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/08/05/hosp_infections
Xenos the elder
LeModernCaveman wrote:
Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, it's never a "rag" session. I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when they take the advice in this post.No woman will ever admit ( with the exemption of ml sometimes ) how a woman " works ". Fore a man who don't know it is better to listen to other more experienced men.But be careful: as more women become aware that men are figuring out the rules, the rules they shall change.
Then she knew how to hide her crap from me.
I now try to get those skills working again.
While it is good to be honest, no man should ever put all he's cards on the table.
I was to honest 3 times and 3 times i lost.
Have a ace up your sleeve to.
Xenos the elder
Fore me pride was something positive.
Good to know that fore most people it is not so.
I don't like the word self esteem.
It sounds like " self steam " between my ears.
From my dictionary. Pride: A feeling of self-respect and personal worth. 2. Satisfaction with your (or another's) achievements
kato
> Where i am living there are to many of them but they are half my age.
Then you'll need two.
Specialsearcher
>Where i am living there are to many of them but they are half my age.
>
Where is that? My nephews are having a hard time getting girlfriends... I see
why, my neighbor's daughter usually seems to have 4 or 5 guys around her all
the time; they are all competing to get her for themselves. Its almost like
that date show thing on tv. I lived in another place and it was almost the same
thing with the young girl there too. If you do some research you will probably
see that there's usually more male babies born than female babies...
http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/08/05/hosp_infections
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2003/10/15/npray15.xm
l&sSheet=/news/2003/10/15/ixhome.html
ml
>>
>>Where i am living there are to many of them but they are half my age.
>>
>
>Where is that? My nephews are having a hard time getting girlfriends... I see
>why, my neighbor's daughter usually seems to have 4 or 5 guys around her all
>the time; they are all competing to get her for themselves. Its almost like
>that date show thing on tv. I lived in another place and it was almost the same
>thing with the young girl there too.
Maybe they're all at the mall or watching those reality-tv shows... :-)
My younger son seems to have several girls at once chasing him around. Maybe
it depends on where you live...
Specialsearcher
>
>My younger son seems to have several girls at once chasing him around. Maybe
>
>it depends on where you live...
>
Actually it depends on looks when it comes to guys. I have a good looking
friend and he has tons of women. He's single and gets more sex than most
married people I know. He even does married women once in a while.
LeModernCaveman
>see
>>why, my neighbor's daughter usually seems to have 4 or 5 guys around her all
>>the time; they are all competing to get her for themselves. Its almost like
>>that date show thing on tv. I lived in another place and it was almost the
>same
>>thing with the young girl there too.
>
>Maybe they're all at the mall or watching those reality-tv shows... :-)
>
>My younger son seems to have several girls at once chasing him around. Maybe
>
>it depends on where you live...
Sounds like your son has found the player websites.
All those extra girls are ignoring other boys while they chase your son.
Xenos the elder
Specialsearcher wrote:
) My younger son seems to have several girls at once chasing him around. Maybe it depends on where you live...Actually it depends on looks when it comes to guys. I have a good looking friend and he has tons of women.
He's single and gets more sex than most married people I know. He even does married women once in a while.
YooperBoyka
"LeModernCaveman" <lemoder...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20031022153124...@mb-m11.aol.com...
>
> The one common to hotties.
I'm gonna try to ask you a serious question Gordie.
I know I've ragged hard on you before, but there is one thing
that throughout it all that I sincerely wanted to understand.
How do you define a "hottie"?
I mean, what is it about "them" that separates them from all the
other women?
What is it about them that should make us want to be with them?
These are honest questions. I hope you take it that way.
Joy
Joy wrote:
bogart wrote:
I don't know that most people would think of it the way I do. I can only
say that some people would. I do think of it both ways, positive and
negative, depending on the context.
Xenos the elder
Joy wrote:
I think of pride as something positive.
False pride i consider negative or being " to " proud.
If you achieve something you can be proud of your self.
Writing an A in mathematics or drinking everybody under the table and
you are the last one standing.
It is good to talk sometimes about the meaning of words because people
do have different concepts and relate different to words.
Most Americans hate communism and they don't know what it is. I was a
communist and i don't like communism.
I have been reading Karl Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Trotsky and
others.
I joined the communist party and it did open my eyes. I quickly went out.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Specialsearcher
>Sounds like your son has found the player websites.
>
>All those extra girls are ignoring other boys while they chase your son.
>
I think that is partly true, however your still left with too many young men
and not enough young women... The solution is for us to persuade the
Immigration Service to import more single women and not to allow men to come
live in the US. I believe this will lower crime in the short term; as India has
seen increase in crime due in part to a shortage of women to marry. It will
also make available more jobs for Americans men who are usually the primary
financial support for the family.
http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/08/05/hosp_infections
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/Primetime/Living/schaap031023-1.html
Specialsearcher
>> He's single and gets more sex than most
>>married people I know. He even does married women once in a while.
>>
>How nice.
>
Its mother nature, a persons looks matter usually more so to women then men!
I can't blame the guy, its most men's dream to do multiple women in the same
day or week. If I was so good looking that I made women blush I would probably
do the same thing.
http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/08/05/hosp_infections
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/Primetime/Living/schaap031023-1.html
ml
>>Sounds like your son has found the player websites.
>>
>>All those extra girls are ignoring other boys while they chase your son.
The "nerd chicks" chase the "nerd guys"... (this is not a negative term)
He's not a football jock or anything. He's captain of the academic league,
into Star Trek and knows how to cook. He gets pissed off at male students who
refer to a girl as "ho" and "bitch". He's sensitive and not afraid to admit
it. I don't THINK he learned that from the "player" websites. :-)`
LeModernCaveman
>>>
>>>All those extra girls are ignoring other boys while they chase your son.
>
>The "nerd chicks" chase the "nerd guys"... (this is not a negative term)
Stereotyping is negative.
>He's not a football jock or anything. He's captain of the academic league,
>into Star Trek and knows how to cook. He gets pissed off at male students
>who
>refer to a girl as "ho" and "bitch".
>He's sensitive and not afraid to admit
>it. I don't THINK he learned that from the "player" websites. :-)`
Now he sounds like a chump who doesn't get laid. The "friend" type.
Specialsearcher
So only football jocks are attractive to girls?
If anybody needs to know what women want, they may get a glimpse on CBS Sunday
9pm E.T.
http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2003/08/05/hosp_infections
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/Primetime/Living/schaap031023-1.html
Xenos the elder
ml wrote:
Sounds like your son has found the player websites. All those extra girls are ignoring other boys while they chase your son.The "nerd chicks" chase the "nerd guys"... (this is not a negative term) He's not a football jock or anything. He's captain of the academic league, into Star Trek and knows how to cook. He gets pissed off at male students who refer to a girl as "ho" and "bitch".
ml
>>He's not a football jock or anything.
>
>
>So only football jocks are attractive to girls?
My point exactly. Intelligence can be very attractive to other intelligent
people.
ml
>Now he sounds like a chump who doesn't get laid. The "friend" type.
Yep. I don't think a 17-yr old SHOULD be in a hurry to start making notches
in the bedpost. That makes him a "chump" according to YOUR standards, maybe.
Not according to everyone's.
Bill in Co
He doesn't have any standards, does he? Well, ok, Raytardo likes teens. If
that's what you mean. LOL.