If you listen to a group of attractive, single women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the topic will always turn to MEN.
And in most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard it is to find good men to date...
Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general...
...And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
Did you know this?
I didn't think so.
Well, the truth is that up until a few years ago, I didn't know this either.
So take heart in the idea that you're about to learn something that most men on this planet will DIE not knowing.
My hope is that what I'm about to share with you will change how you interact with women FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the kinds of women you're interested in.
Onward.
FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
One can lead to another, but it's RARE when it happens.
Remember that.
One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
"Romantic" relationships are very different from "friend" relationships.
While most men would sleep with most of their female "friends" if the woman "came on" to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider "just friends".
But why is this?
How do women differentiate between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
And why is it so hard to become "more than friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" with for a long time?
The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me.
I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women "know" when they want to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE importantly, understanding how women "know" when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a man...
The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material or "lover" material is how she FEELS.
It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings.
It is NOT logic.
She might USE logic to "rationalize" her decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either "being with" or "not being with" a particular guy.
But don't let that distract you.
Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
So let me say this another way.
A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a particular guy.
If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably not be that she wants to date the guy in question.
If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts...
It goes like this:
FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and THEN the action.
Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an important question:
How do most guys behave around women that they're "romantically" interested in?
And another:
What do they do to get the woman that's the object of their desires to be with them?
Take a few minutes to think about this. Make a list if you have paper and pen handy.
I'm serious. I'll wait.
Come back when you're finished.
Now take a look at your list.
I'll bet that almost every single thing on your list was something "external".
In other words, your list probably contains things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call her often".
These are all things that demonstrate that he's INTERESTED.
They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
In other words, men try to use "props" to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
...HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she'll be interested in him.
Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
Of course, you know this.
You've probably done this stuff about a bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular woman know that I'm interested... only to have her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
In the moment it sure seems to make sense... "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the feelings".
Duh.
Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner little girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY that you're not hip to what's going... and it kills your chances with her.
Say what?
You mean that doing nice things for women, and trying to show how you feel can actually HURT your chances with a woman?
Yea, it can.
Look, if you've been dating a woman exclusively for six months, and her birthday comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell her that you like spending time with her.
YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.
But if you've known a woman for six DAYS and you try this kind of thing, you're going to shoot yourself in the foot.
Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS you're trying to compensate for the fact that you don't get it with gifts and compliments, then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, as the case may be).
Remember what I'm about to tell you.
Burn it into your mind.
Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor...
SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING.
Keep in mind that single, attractive women watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" over and over and over.
The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for you.
The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you're going to need to take a totally different road to get where you're going...
WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
Let's return to where we started.
There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman.
Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:
1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval
If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's chances, it would be this.
It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in control... and let YOU call the shots... and do anything to please YOU... if you'll give me your attention and approval".
But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and "manliness".
Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.
Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.
THEY HATE IT!
I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.
Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that you make this mistake with women.
More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
When one person "clings" to another person "psychologically", the person who is being "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, clingy emotional parasite...
This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?".
Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they're walking around in a large department store.
Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.
If she wanders away, he'll come find her IMMEDIATELY.
He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's afraid she'll leave without him.
And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.
"Do you think I'm interesting?"
"Do you think we could ever have a relationship?"
"Am I your type?"
Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN AWAY.
3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead
Women have WUSS-DAR.
One of the things that triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.
The REAL problem is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally.
So you've got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.
He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do... but he isn't getting them.
I am still wondering why I would get flamed for a post like this, while you seem to get away from it without getting burned. Maybe because you are European. ;-) Can I borrow your asbestos suit? :-D
I just wanted to belatedly thank you for the information you sent to me a couple of weeks ago. For some reason your email bouced when I sent a reply. Thanks for the info. I appreciate it.
Thanks,
Mike
-- To reply via email remove the X's from my email address: aXeXnXeX...@gwis.com
> If you listen to a group of attractive, single > women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the > topic will always turn to MEN.
> And in most cases, it will eventually turn into > a RANT session about how hard it is to find good > men to date...
> Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about > men in general...
> ...And wind up with a detailed list of all the > traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
> The reality is that single women have an > entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and > characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
> Did you know this?
> I didn't think so.
> Well, the truth is that up until a few years > ago, I didn't know this either.
> So take heart in the idea that you're about to > learn something that most men on this planet will > DIE not knowing.
> My hope is that what I'm about to share with > you will change how you interact with women > FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the > kinds of women you're interested in.
> Onward.
> FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
> For women, friendships and romantic > relationships are two separate things. They are > NOT the same.
> One can lead to another, but it's RARE when > it happens.
> Remember that.
> One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
> "Romantic" relationships are very different > from "friend" relationships.
> While most men would sleep with most of their > female "friends" if the woman "came on" to > them, most women would NOT sleep with most > men that they consider "just friends".
> But why is this?
> How do women differentiate between "just > friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
> And why is it so hard to become "more than > friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" > with for a long time?
> The answer to this riddle is very interesting > to me.
> I believe that the answer comes down to > understanding HOW women "know" when they want > to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE > importantly, understanding how women "know" > when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a > man...
> The thing that tells a woman whether the guy > she's with is "friend" material or "lover" > material is how she FEELS.
> It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and > PHYSICAL feelings.
> It is NOT logic.
> She might USE logic to "rationalize" her > decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like > she has a good reason for either "being with" or > "not being with" a particular guy.
> But don't let that distract you.
> Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
> So let me say this another way.
> A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or > physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the > basis for her "decisions" and actions with a > particular guy.
> If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then > her "logical" conclusion will probably not be > that she wants to date the guy in question.
> If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" > feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will > probably be that this guy is interesting and > attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At > this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings > and thoughts...
> It goes like this:
> FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
> First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and > THEN the action.
> Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an > important question:
> How do most guys behave around women that > they're "romantically" interested in?
> And another:
> What do they do to get the woman that's the > object of their desires to be with them?
> Take a few minutes to think about this. Make > a list if you have paper and pen handy.
> I'm serious. I'll wait.
> Come back when you're finished.
> Now take a look at your list.
> I'll bet that almost every single thing on > your list was something "external".
> In other words, your list probably contains > things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her > compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call > her often".
> These are all things that demonstrate that > he's INTERESTED.
> They are NOT things that trigger those > emotional and physical feelings inside of a > woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
> In other words, men try to use "props" to > LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
> ...HOPING that when the woman sees these > displays she'll be interested in him.
> Almost NONE of the things men do to court > women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely > similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
> Of course, you know this.
> You've probably done this stuff about a > bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's > like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular > woman know that I'm interested... only to have > her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
> The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that > it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
> First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to > go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like > her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
> In the moment it sure seems to make sense... > "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the > feelings".
> Duh.
> Like I said, it seems like the right thing > to do in the moment (when your inner little > girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it > will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
> And second, it communicates clearly that > YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY > that you're not hip to what's going... and it > kills your chances with her.
> Say what?
> You mean that doing nice things for women, > and trying to show how you feel can actually > HURT your chances with a woman?
> Yea, it can.
> Look, if you've been dating a woman > exclusively for six months, and her birthday > comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell > her that you like spending time with her.
> YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.
> But if you've known a woman for six DAYS > and you try this kind of thing, you're going > to shoot yourself in the foot.
> Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who > DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS > you're trying to compensate for the fact that > you don't get it with gifts and compliments, > then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, > as the case may be).
> Remember what I'm about to tell you.
> Burn it into your mind.
> Write it on a sticky-note and put it on > your computer monitor...
> SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN > TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY > KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND > THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T > "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING > AND TRYING.
> Keep in mind that single, attractive women > watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake > their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get > it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" > over and over and over.
> The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, > then nothing you do is going to work for you.
> The problem is bigger than you can imagine, > and you're going to need to take a totally > different road to get where you're going...
> WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST > ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
> Let's return to where we started.
> There are a few particular things that > REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
> One of the reasons that these things > annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
> A woman can like everything about you, but > if you do these things (or even ONE of these > things), it can DESTROY your chances of > success with a particular woman.
> Here are a few of the BIG things that > single women hate:
> 1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For > Her Attention And Approval
> If I had to describe the one single thing > that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's > chances, it would be this.
> It has taken me a long time to see this > particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
> Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your > approval and attention. I'm willing to let > YOU be the one who's in control... and let > YOU call the shots... and do anything to please > YOU... if you'll give me your attention and > approval".
> But the problem is that women DON'T WANT > you to give up your status and "manliness".
> Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act > weak and tentative.
> Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does > something to demonstrate that he'll give > away his power in return for approval.
> THEY HATE IT!
> I could literally write an entire book on > this one single concept.
> Take a few minutes to think this one over, > and maybe write down the ways that you make > this mistake with women.
> More importantly, think about how you're > going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
> 2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
> When one person "clings" to another person > "psychologically", the person who is being > "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, > clingy emotional parasite...
> This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
> If a guy is on the phone with a girl he > just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", > he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will > you call me when you get home?".
> Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on > their first date, and
> If you listen to a group of attractive, single > women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the > topic will always turn to MEN.
> And in most cases, it will eventually turn into > a RANT session about how hard it is to find good > men to date...
> Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about > men in general...
> ...And wind up with a detailed list of all the > traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
> The reality is that single women have an > entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and > characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
> Did you know this?
> I didn't think so.
> Well, the truth is that up until a few years > ago, I didn't know this either.
> So take heart in the idea that you're about to > learn something that most men on this planet will > DIE not knowing.
> My hope is that what I'm about to share with > you will change how you interact with women > FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the > kinds of women you're interested in.
> Onward.
> FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
> For women, friendships and romantic > relationships are two separate things. They are > NOT the same.
> One can lead to another, but it's RARE when > it happens.
> Remember that.
> One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
> "Romantic" relationships are very different > from "friend" relationships.
> While most men would sleep with most of their > female "friends" if the woman "came on" to > them, most women would NOT sleep with most > men that they consider "just friends".
> But why is this?
> How do women differentiate between "just > friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
> And why is it so hard to become "more than > friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" > with for a long time?
> The answer to this riddle is very interesting > to me.
> I believe that the answer comes down to > understanding HOW women "know" when they want > to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE > importantly, understanding how women "know" > when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a > man...
> The thing that tells a woman whether the guy > she's with is "friend" material or "lover" > material is how she FEELS.
> It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and > PHYSICAL feelings.
> It is NOT logic.
> She might USE logic to "rationalize" her > decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like > she has a good reason for either "being with" or > "not being with" a particular guy.
> But don't let that distract you.
> Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
> So let me say this another way.
> A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or > physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the > basis for her "decisions" and actions with a > particular guy.
> If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then > her "logical" conclusion will probably not be > that she wants to date the guy in question.
> If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" > feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will > probably be that this guy is interesting and > attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At > this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings > and thoughts...
> It goes like this:
> FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
> First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and > THEN the action.
> Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an > important question:
> How do most guys behave around women that > they're "romantically" interested in?
> And another:
> What do they do to get the woman that's the > object of their desires to be with them?
> Take a few minutes to think about this. Make > a list if you have paper and pen handy.
> I'm serious. I'll wait.
> Come back when you're finished.
> Now take a look at your list.
> I'll bet that almost every single thing on > your list was something "external".
> In other words, your list probably contains > things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her > compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call > her often".
> These are all things that demonstrate that > he's INTERESTED.
> They are NOT things that trigger those > emotional and physical feelings inside of a > woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
> In other words, men try to use "props" to > LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
> ...HOPING that when the woman sees these > displays she'll be interested in him.
> Almost NONE of the things men do to court > women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely > similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
> Of course, you know this.
> You've probably done this stuff about a > bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's > like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular > woman know that I'm interested... only to have > her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
> The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that > it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
> First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to > go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like > her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
> In the moment it sure seems to make sense... > "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the > feelings".
> Duh.
> Like I said, it seems like the right thing > to do in the moment (when your inner little > girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it > will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
> And second, it communicates clearly that > YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY > that you're not hip to what's going... and it > kills your chances with her. > Say what?
> You mean that doing nice things for women, > and trying to show how you feel can actually > HURT your chances with a woman?
> Yea, it can.
> Look, if you've been dating a woman > exclusively for six months, and her birthday > comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell > her that you like spending time with her.
> YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP. > But if you've known a woman for six DAYS > and you try this kind of thing, you're going > to shoot yourself in the foot.
> Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who > DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS > you're trying to compensate for the fact that > you don't get it with gifts and compliments, > then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, > as the case may be).
> Remember what I'm about to tell you.
> Burn it into your mind.
> Write it on a sticky-note and put it on > your computer monitor...
> SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN > TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY > KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND > THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T > "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING > AND TRYING.
> Keep in mind that single, attractive women > watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake > their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get > it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" > over and over and over.
> The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, > then nothing you do is going to work for you.
> The problem is bigger than you can imagine, > and you're going to need to take a totally > different road to get where you're going...
> WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST > ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
> Let's return to where we started.
> There are a few particular things that > REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
> One of the reasons that these things > annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
> A woman can like everything about you, but > if you do these things (or even ONE of these > things), it can DESTROY your chances of > success with a particular woman.
> Here are a few of the BIG things that > single women hate:
> 1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For > Her Attention And Approval
> If I had to describe the one single thing > that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's > chances, it would be this.
> It has taken me a long time to see this > particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
> Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your > approval and attention. I'm willing to let > YOU be the one who's in control... and let > YOU call the shots... and do anything to please > YOU... if you'll give me your attention and > approval".
> But the problem is that women DON'T WANT > you to give up your status and "manliness".
> Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act > weak and tentative.
> Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does > something to demonstrate that he'll give > away his power in return for approval.
> THEY HATE IT!
> I could literally write an entire book on > this one single concept.
> Take a few minutes to think this one over, > and maybe write down the ways that you make > this mistake with women.
> More importantly, think about how you're > going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
> 2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
> When one person "clings" to another person > "psychologically", the person who is being > "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, > clingy emotional parasite...
> This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
> If a guy is on the phone with a girl he > just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", > he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will > you call me when you get home?".
> Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on > their first date, and they're walking around > in a large department store.
> Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, > and not leave her side for a minute.
> If she wanders away, he'll come find her > IMMEDIATELY.
> He'll stay physically close to her, as if > he's afraid she'll leave without him.
> And an even worse example is a guy who is > so emotionally insecure that he actually > ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, > interesting, etc.
> "Do you think I'm interesting?"
> "Do you think we could ever have a > relationship?"
>I am still wondering why I would get flamed for a post like this, while you >seem to get away from it without getting burned. Maybe because you are >European. ;-) Can I borrow your asbestos suit? :-D
Asbestos is my middle name. I think most women here have me in they killfile.
>I just wanted to belatedly thank you for the information you sent to me a >couple of weeks ago. For some reason your email bouced
Fake email.
> when I sent a reply. >Thanks for the info. I appreciate it.
I am 50 years old and i have no time to figured out everything on my own. It will take me 10 years. I spare no expenses or work to figure out " what is ".
>Thanks,
>Mike
>-- >To reply via email remove the X's from my email address: > aXeXnXeX...@gwis.com
> I am 50 years old and i have no time to figured out everything on my own. > It will take me 10 years. I spare no expenses or work to figure out " > what is ".
I feel like that too Xenos (and am also 50). But perhaps its a dynamic system not a simple linear one (or even richer than that). What I mean is that what you do influences the outcome which influences what you do and so on. The result is that perhaps there are many possible answers not one.
IMO this is crap. Some of us women do have a life other then gossiping and trashing men when we are having a conversation with each other. As for the friend part, I wouldn't even consider dating or sleeping with a person if I didn't think they were my friend. And just because you are friends doesn't mean you have to date or have sex with a person!
Xenos the elder wrote: > What Women HATE Most About Single Guys...
> If you listen to a group of attractive, single > women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the > topic will always turn to MEN.
> And in most cases, it will eventually turn into > a RANT session about how hard it is to find good > men to date...
> Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about > men in general...
> ...And wind up with a detailed list of all the > traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
> The reality is that single women have an > entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and > characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
> Did you know this?
> I didn't think so.
> Well, the truth is that up until a few years > ago, I didn't know this either.
> So take heart in the idea that you're about to > learn something that most men on this planet will > DIE not knowing.
> My hope is that what I'm about to share with > you will change how you interact with women > FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the > kinds of women you're interested in.
> Onward.
> FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
> For women, friendships and romantic > relationships are two separate things. They are > NOT the same.
> One can lead to another, but it's RARE when > it happens.
> Remember that.
> One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
> "Romantic" relationships are very different > from "friend" relationships.
> While most men would sleep with most of their > female "friends" if the woman "came on" to > them, most women would NOT sleep with most > men that they consider "just friends".
> But why is this?
> How do women differentiate between "just > friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
> And why is it so hard to become "more than > friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" > with for a long time?
> The answer to this riddle is very interesting > to me.
> I believe that the answer comes down to > understanding HOW women "know" when they want > to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE > importantly, understanding how women "know" > when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a > man...
> The thing that tells a woman whether the guy > she's with is "friend" material or "lover" > material is how she FEELS.
> It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and > PHYSICAL feelings.
> It is NOT logic.
> She might USE logic to "rationalize" her > decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like > she has a good reason for either "being with" or > "not being with" a particular guy.
> But don't let that distract you.
> Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
> So let me say this another way.
> A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or > physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the > basis for her "decisions" and actions with a > particular guy.
> If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then > her "logical" conclusion will probably not be > that she wants to date the guy in question.
> If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" > feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will > probably be that this guy is interesting and > attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At > this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings > and thoughts...
> It goes like this:
> FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
> First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and > THEN the action.
> Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an > important question:
> How do most guys behave around women that > they're "romantically" interested in?
> And another:
> What do they do to get the woman that's the > object of their desires to be with them?
> Take a few minutes to think about this. Make > a list if you have paper and pen handy.
> I'm serious. I'll wait.
> Come back when you're finished.
> Now take a look at your list.
> I'll bet that almost every single thing on > your list was something "external".
> In other words, your list probably contains > things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her > compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call > her often".
> These are all things that demonstrate that > he's INTERESTED.
> They are NOT things that trigger those > emotional and physical feelings inside of a > woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
> In other words, men try to use "props" to > LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
> ...HOPING that when the woman sees these > displays she'll be interested in him.
> Almost NONE of the things men do to court > women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely > similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
> Of course, you know this.
> You've probably done this stuff about a > bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's > like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular > woman know that I'm interested... only to have > her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
> The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that > it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
> First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to > go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like > her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
> In the moment it sure seems to make sense... > "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the > feelings".
> Duh.
> Like I said, it seems like the right thing > to do in the moment (when your inner little > girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it > will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
> And second, it communicates clearly that > YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY > that you're not hip to what's going... and it > kills your chances with her.
> Say what?
> You mean that doing nice things for women, > and trying to show how you feel can actually > HURT your chances with a woman?
> Yea, it can.
> Look, if you've been dating a woman > exclusively for six months, and her birthday > comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell > her that you like spending time with her.
> YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP.
> But if you've known a woman for six DAYS > and you try this kind of thing, you're going > to shoot yourself in the foot.
> Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who > DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS > you're trying to compensate for the fact that > you don't get it with gifts and compliments, > then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, > as the case may be).
> Remember what I'm about to tell you.
> Burn it into your mind.
> Write it on a sticky-note and put it on > your computer monitor...
> SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN > TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY > KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND > THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T > "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING > AND TRYING.
> Keep in mind that single, attractive women > watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake > their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get > it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" > over and over and over.
> The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, > then nothing you do is going to work for you.
> The problem is bigger than you can imagine, > and you're going to need to take a totally > different road to get where you're going...
> WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST > ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
> Let's return to where we started.
> There are a few particular things that > REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
> One of the reasons that these things > annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
> A woman can like everything about you, but > if you do these things (or even ONE of these > things), it can DESTROY your chances of > success with a particular woman.
> Here are a few of the BIG things that > single women hate:
> 1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For > Her Attention And Approval
> If I had to describe the one single thing > that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's > chances, it would be this.
> It has taken me a long time to see this > particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
> Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your > approval and attention. I'm willing to let > YOU be the one who's in control... and let > YOU call the shots... and do anything to please > YOU... if you'll give me your attention and > approval".
> But the problem is that women DON'T WANT > you to give up your status and "manliness".
> Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act > weak and tentative.
> Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does > something to demonstrate that he'll give > away his power in return for approval.
> THEY HATE IT!
> I could literally write an entire book on > this one single concept.
> Take a few minutes to think this one over, > and maybe write down the ways that you make > this mistake with women.
> More importantly, think about how you're > going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
> 2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
> When one person "clings" to another person > "psychologically", the person who is being > "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, > clingy emotional parasite...
> This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
> If a guy is on the phone with a girl he > just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", > he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will > you call me when you get home?".
> Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on > their first date, and they're walking around > in a large department store.
> Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, > and not leave her side for a minute.
> If she wanders away, he'll come find her > IMMEDIATELY.
LoriMc wrote: > IMO this is crap. Some of us women do have a life other then gossiping > and trashing men when we are having a conversation with each other.
You mean ... when you're not sitting around together eating bonbons?
> As for the friend part, I wouldn't even consider dating or sleeping with > a person if I didn't think they were my friend. And just because you are > friends doesn't mean you have to date or have sex with a person!
> Lori Mc
> Xenos the elder wrote: >> What Women HATE Most About Single Guys...
>IMO this is crap. Some of us women do have a life other then gossiping and >trashing men when we are having a conversation with each other. >As for the friend part, I wouldn't even consider dating or sleeping with a >person if I didn't think they were my friend. And just because you are >friends doesn't mean you have to date or have sex with a person!
What's the shortest amount of time you've ever slept with a man after first meeting him?
> Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, > it's never a "rag" session.
> I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
> Barb
> On Tue, 21 Oct 2003 21:55:25 +0100, bogart <nore...@here.there> wrote:
>>Is he right Ladies ?
>>bogey
>>>What Women HATE Most About Single Guys...
>>>If you listen to a group of attractive, single >>>women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the >>>topic will always turn to MEN.
>>> And in most cases, it will eventually turn into >>>a RANT session about how hard it is to find good >>>men to date...
>>> Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about >>>men in general...
>>> ...And wind up with a detailed list of all the >>>traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
>>> The reality is that single women have an >>>entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and >>>characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
>>> Did you know this?
>>> I didn't think so.
>>> Well, the truth is that up until a few years >>>ago, I didn't know this either.
>>> So take heart in the idea that you're about to >>>learn something that most men on this planet will >>>DIE not knowing.
>>> My hope is that what I'm about to share with >>>you will change how you interact with women >>>FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the >>>kinds of women you're interested in.
>>> Onward.
>>>FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
>>> For women, friendships and romantic >>>relationships are two separate things. They are >>>NOT the same.
>>> One can lead to another, but it's RARE when >>>it happens.
>>> Remember that.
>>> One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
>>> "Romantic" relationships are very different >>>from "friend" relationships.
>>> While most men would sleep with most of their >>>female "friends" if the woman "came on" to >>>them, most women would NOT sleep with most >>>men that they consider "just friends".
>>> But why is this?
>>> How do women differentiate between "just >>>friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
>>> And why is it so hard to become "more than >>>friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" >>>with for a long time?
>>> The answer to this riddle is very interesting >>>to me.
>>> I believe that the answer comes down to >>>understanding HOW women "know" when they want >>>to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE >>>importantly, understanding how women "know" >>>when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a >>>man...
>>> The thing that tells a woman whether the guy >>>she's with is "friend" material or "lover" >>>material is how she FEELS.
>>> It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and >>>PHYSICAL feelings.
>>> It is NOT logic.
>>> She might USE logic to "rationalize" her >>>decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like >>>she has a good reason for either "being with" or >>>"not being with" a particular guy.
>>> But don't let that distract you.
>>> Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
>>> So let me say this another way.
>>> A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or >>>physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the >>>basis for her "decisions" and actions with a >>>particular guy.
>>> If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then >>>her "logical" conclusion will probably not be >>>that she wants to date the guy in question.
>>> If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" >>>feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will >>>probably be that this guy is interesting and >>>attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At >>>this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings >>>and thoughts...
>>> It goes like this:
>>> FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
>>> First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and >>>THEN the action.
>>> Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an >>>important question:
>>> How do most guys behave around women that >>>they're "romantically" interested in?
>>> And another:
>>> What do they do to get the woman that's the >>>object of their desires to be with them?
>>> Take a few minutes to think about this. Make >>>a list if you have paper and pen handy.
>>> I'm serious. I'll wait.
>>> Come back when you're finished.
>>> Now take a look at your list.
>>> I'll bet that almost every single thing on >>>your list was something "external".
>>> In other words, your list probably contains >>>things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her >>>compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call >>>her often".
>>> These are all things that demonstrate that >>>he's INTERESTED.
>>> They are NOT things that trigger those >>>emotional and physical feelings inside of a >>>woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
>>> In other words, men try to use "props" to >>>LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
>>> ...HOPING that when the woman sees these >>>displays she'll be interested in him.
>>> Almost NONE of the things men do to court >>>women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely >>>similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
>>> Of course, you know this.
>>> You've probably done this stuff about a >>>bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's >>>like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular >>>woman know that I'm interested... only to have >>>her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
>>> The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that >>>it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
>>> First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to >>>go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like >>>her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
>>> In the moment it sure seems to make sense... >>>"If I show her how I feel, she'll return the >>>feelings".
>>> Duh.
>>> Like I said, it seems like the right thing >>>to do in the moment (when your inner little >>>girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it >>>will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
>>> And second, it communicates clearly that >>>YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY >>>that you're not hip to what's going... and it >>>kills your chances with her. >>> Say what?
>>> You mean that doing nice things for women, >>>and trying to show how you feel can actually >>>HURT your chances with a woman?
>>> Yea, it can.
>>> Look, if you've been dating a woman >>>exclusively for six months, and her birthday >>>comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell >>>her that you like spending time with her.
>>> YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP. >>> But if you've known a woman for six DAYS >>>and you try this kind of thing, you're going >>>to shoot yourself in the foot.
>>> Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who >>>DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS >>>you're trying to compensate for the fact that >>>you don't get it with gifts and compliments, >>>then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, >>>as the case may be).
>>> Remember what I'm about to tell you.
>>> Burn it into your mind.
>>> Write it on a sticky-note and put it on >>>your computer monitor...
>>> SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN >>>TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY >>>KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND >>>THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T >>>"GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING >>>AND TRYING.
>>> Keep in mind that single, attractive women >>>watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake >>>their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get >>>it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" >>>over and over and over.
>>> The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, >>>then nothing you do is going to work for you.
>>> The problem is bigger than you can imagine, >>>and you're going to need to take a totally >>>different road to get where you're going...
>>>WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST >>>ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
>>> Let's return to where we started.
>>> There are a few particular things that >>>REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
>>> One of the reasons that these things >>>annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
>>> A woman can like everything about you, but >>>if you do these things (or even ONE of these >>>things), it can DESTROY your chances of >>>success with a particular woman.
>>> Here are a few of the BIG things that >>>single women hate:
>>>1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For >>>Her Attention And Approval
>>> If I had to describe the one single thing >>>that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's >>>chances, it would be this.
>>> It has taken me a long time to see this >>>particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
>>> Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your >>>approval and attention. I'm willing to let >>>YOU be the one who's in control... and let >>>YOU call the shots... and do anything to please >>>YOU... if you'll give me your attention and >>>approval".
>>> But the problem is that women DON'T WANT >>>you to give up your status and "manliness".
>>> Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act >>>weak and tentative.
>>> Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does >>>something to demonstrate that he'll give >>>away his power in return for approval.
>>> THEY HATE IT!
>>> I could literally write an entire book on >>>this one single concept.
>>> Take a few minutes to think this one over, >>>and maybe write down the ways that you make >>>this mistake with women.
>>> More importantly, think about how you're >>>going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
>>>2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
>>> When one person "clings" to another person >>>"psychologically", the person who is being >>>"clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, >>>clingy emotional parasite...
>>> This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
>>> If a guy is on the phone with a girl he >>>just met, and she
>> I am 50 years old and i have no time to figured out everything on my >> own. >> It will take me 10 years. I spare no expenses or work to figure out " >> what is ".
> I feel like that too Xenos (and am also 50). > But perhaps its a dynamic system not a simple linear one > (or even richer than that). What I mean is that what > you do influences the outcome which influences what > you do and so on. The result is that perhaps there are many > possible answers not one.
On 21 Oct 2003 22:50:03 GMT, lemoderncave...@aol.com (LeModernCaveman) wrote:
>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >>it's never a "rag" session.
>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >they take the advice in this post.
If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes about.
If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of woman's "wuss-dar."
If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are married?
I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this way.
People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of many.
LeModernCaveman wrote: >>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >>it's never a "rag" session.
>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >they take the advice in this post.
No woman will ever admit ( with the exemption of ml sometimes ) how a woman " works ". Fore a man who don't know it is better to listen to other more experienced men.
bogart wrote: > No, I mean is he right about the way women feel and > the way to succeed with them. More intimacy with females would > be very welcome in my life.
> bogey
>> Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >> it's never a "rag" session.
>> I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though. >> Barb
>> On Tue, 21 Oct 2003 21:55:25 +0100, bogart <nore...@here.there> wrote:
>>> Is he right Ladies ?
>>> bogey
>>>> What Women HATE Most About Single Guys...
>>>> If you listen to a group of attractive, single >>>> women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the >>>> topic will always turn to MEN.
>>>> And in most cases, it will eventually turn into >>>> a RANT session about how hard it is to find good >>>> men to date...
>>>> Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about >>>> men in general...
>>>> ...And wind up with a detailed list of all the >>>> traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL.
>>>> The reality is that single women have an >>>> entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and >>>> characteristics that they HATE in single guys.
>>>> Did you know this?
>>>> I didn't think so.
>>>> Well, the truth is that up until a few years >>>> ago, I didn't know this either.
>>>> So take heart in the idea that you're about to >>>> learn something that most men on this planet will >>>> DIE not knowing.
>>>> My hope is that what I'm about to share with >>>> you will change how you interact with women >>>> FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the >>>> kinds of women you're interested in.
>>>> Onward.
>>>> FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE
>>>> For women, friendships and romantic >>>> relationships are two separate things. They are >>>> NOT the same.
>>>> One can lead to another, but it's RARE when >>>> it happens.
>>>> Remember that.
>>>> One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.
>>>> "Romantic" relationships are very different >>>> from "friend" relationships.
>>>> While most men would sleep with most of their >>>> female "friends" if the woman "came on" to >>>> them, most women would NOT sleep with most >>>> men that they consider "just friends".
>>>> But why is this?
>>>> How do women differentiate between "just >>>> friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"?
>>>> And why is it so hard to become "more than >>>> friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" >>>> with for a long time?
>>>> The answer to this riddle is very interesting >>>> to me.
>>>> I believe that the answer comes down to >>>> understanding HOW women "know" when they want >>>> to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE >>>> importantly, understanding how women "know" >>>> when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a >>>> man...
>>>> The thing that tells a woman whether the guy >>>> she's with is "friend" material or "lover" >>>> material is how she FEELS.
>>>> It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and >>>> PHYSICAL feelings.
>>>> It is NOT logic.
>>>> She might USE logic to "rationalize" her >>>> decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like >>>> she has a good reason for either "being with" or >>>> "not being with" a particular guy.
>>>> But don't let that distract you.
>>>> Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.
>>>> So let me say this another way.
>>>> A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or >>>> physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the >>>> basis for her "decisions" and actions with a >>>> particular guy.
>>>> If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then >>>> her "logical" conclusion will probably not be >>>> that she wants to date the guy in question.
>>>> If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" >>>> feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will >>>> probably be that this guy is interesting and >>>> attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At >>>> this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings >>>> and thoughts...
>>>> It goes like this:
>>>> FEEL--->THINK--->ACT
>>>> First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and >>>> THEN the action.
>>>> Now, with this in mind, let me ask you an >>>> important question:
>>>> How do most guys behave around women that >>>> they're "romantically" interested in?
>>>> And another:
>>>> What do they do to get the woman that's the >>>> object of their desires to be with them?
>>>> Take a few minutes to think about this. Make >>>> a list if you have paper and pen handy.
>>>> I'm serious. I'll wait.
>>>> Come back when you're finished.
>>>> Now take a look at your list.
>>>> I'll bet that almost every single thing on >>>> your list was something "external".
>>>> In other words, your list probably contains >>>> things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her >>>> compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call >>>> her often".
>>>> These are all things that demonstrate that >>>> he's INTERESTED.
>>>> They are NOT things that trigger those >>>> emotional and physical feelings inside of a >>>> woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY.
>>>> In other words, men try to use "props" to >>>> LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED...
>>>> ...HOPING that when the woman sees these >>>> displays she'll be interested in him.
>>>> Almost NONE of the things men do to court >>>> women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely >>>> similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".
>>>> Of course, you know this.
>>>> You've probably done this stuff about a >>>> bazillion times. I have, too. I know what it's >>>> like to try OVER AND OVER to let a particular >>>> woman know that I'm interested... only to have >>>> her NOT RESPOND in a "romantic" way.
>>>> The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that >>>> it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.
>>>> First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to >>>> go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like >>>> her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU.
>>>> In the moment it sure seems to make sense... >>>> "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the >>>> feelings".
>>>> Duh.
>>>> Like I said, it seems like the right thing >>>> to do in the moment (when your inner little >>>> girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it >>>> will have NO effect on her feelings for you.
>>>> And second, it communicates clearly that >>>> YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY >>>> that you're not hip to what's going... and it >>>> kills your chances with her. Say what?
>>>> You mean that doing nice things for women, >>>> and trying to show how you feel can actually >>>> HURT your chances with a woman?
>>>> Yea, it can.
>>>> Look, if you've been dating a woman >>>> exclusively for six months, and her birthday >>>> comes... it's OK to buy her a gift and tell >>>> her that you like spending time with her.
>>>> YOU'RE ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP. >>>> But if you've known a woman for six DAYS >>>> and you try this kind of thing, you're going >>>> to shoot yourself in the foot.
>>>> Women are EXPERTS at recognizing men who >>>> DON'T GET IT. And if you DON'T get it, PLUS >>>> you're trying to compensate for the fact that >>>> you don't get it with gifts and compliments, >>>> then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, >>>> as the case may be).
>>>> Remember what I'm about to tell you.
>>>> Burn it into your mind.
>>>> Write it on a sticky-note and put it on >>>> your computer monitor...
>>>> SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN >>>> TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY >>>> KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND >>>> THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T >>>> "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING >>>> AND TRYING.
>>>> Keep in mind that single, attractive women >>>> watch guys do this stuff 24/7. They shake >>>> their pretty heads and say "He doesn't get >>>> it... He doesn't get it... He doesn't get it" >>>> over and over and over.
>>>> The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, >>>> then nothing you do is going to work for you.
>>>> The problem is bigger than you can imagine, >>>> and you're going to need to take a totally >>>> different road to get where you're going...
>>>> WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST >>>> ABOUT SINGLE GUYS...
>>>> Let's return to where we started.
>>>> There are a few particular things that >>>> REALLY annoy single, attractive women.
>>>> One of the reasons that these things >>>> annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.
>>>> A woman can like everything about you, but >>>> if you do these things (or even ONE of these >>>> things), it can DESTROY your chances of >>>> success with a particular woman.
>>>> Here are a few of the BIG things that >>>> single women hate:
>>>> 1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For >>>> Her Attention And Approval
>>>> If I had to describe the one single thing >>>> that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's >>>> chances, it would be this.
>>>> It has taken me a long time to see this >>>> particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.
>>>> Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your >>>> approval and attention. I'm willing to let >>>> YOU be the one who's in control... and let >>>> YOU call the shots... and do anything to please >>>> YOU... if you'll give me your attention and >>>> approval".
>>>> But the problem is that women DON'T WANT >>>> you to give up your status and "manliness".
>>>> Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act >>>> weak and tentative.
>>>> Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does >>>> something to demonstrate that he'll give >>>> away his power in return for approval.
>>>> THEY HATE IT!
>>>> I could literally write an entire book on >>>> this one single concept.
>>>> Take a few minutes to think this one over, >>>> and
In article <n48cpvo9anogbdas6o9p6p4voqjfa01...@4ax.com>, "|3ill|3o" <b...@moooooooooo.com> wrote: >On 21 Oct 2003 22:50:03 GMT, lemoderncave...@aol.com (LeModernCaveman) >wrote:
>>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >>>it's never a "rag" session.
>>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >>they take the advice in this post.
>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes >about.
>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek >club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a >shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some >game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of >woman's "wuss-dar."
>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are >married?
>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this >way.
>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of >many.
well, you're pretty cool... there aren't too many like you out there. :-)
>>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >>>it's never a "rag" session.
>>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >>they take the advice in this post.
>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes >about.
>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek >club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a >shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some >game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of >woman's "wuss-dar."
If you don't respect yourself don't expect to be respected. I think that's what the
"wuss-dar." is about. It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you want. Men with no pride are disgusting to women. It least i interpreted the letter that way.
> "wuss-dar." > is about. > It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you want. > Men with no pride are disgusting to women. > It least i interpreted the letter that way.
I don't think its pride Xenos. Pride is a thin unsatisfying emotion (maybe not even an emotion, perhaps a need).
For example I think its possible to be quite self-less and still be attractive. My guess would be that people like Ghandi were very attractive to women for instance.
I think its courage, risk taking, confidence, and being at ease with yourself. Maybe I'm wrong - female opinion please respond.
>> "wuss-dar." >> is about. >> It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if >> you want. >> Men with no pride are disgusting to women. >> It least i interpreted the letter that way.
> I don't think its pride Xenos. Pride is a thin > unsatisfying emotion (maybe not even an emotion, > perhaps a need).
> For example I think its possible to be quite self-less > and still be attractive. My guess would be that people > like Ghandi were very attractive to women for instance.
> I think its courage, risk taking, confidence, and being at > ease with yourself.
In article <bn5gcu$j7...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>, bogart <nore...@here.there> wrote:
>> "wuss-dar." >> is about. >> It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you > want. >> Men with no pride are disgusting to women. >> It least i interpreted the letter that way.
>I don't think its pride Xenos. Pride is a thin >unsatisfying emotion (maybe not even an emotion, >perhaps a need).
>For example I think its possible to be quite self-less >and still be attractive. My guess would be that people >like Ghandi were very attractive to women for instance.
>I think its courage, risk taking, confidence, and being at >ease with yourself. Maybe I'm wrong - female opinion please >respond.
Just my opinion: Being a doormat is a turnoff. So is being mean. Being closed-off and secretive is a turnoff. Being fake or igotistical is a turnoff. Being gentle but strong, affectionate and emotionally open are turnons. Being protective is a turnon. Being able to express feelings is a turnon. And the #1 turnon: Caring about me. :-)
>|3ill|3o wrote: >>On 21 O...GMT, lemoderncave...@aol.com (LeModernCaveman) wrote: >>>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >>>>it's never a "rag" session.
>>>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >>>they take the advice in this post. >>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
>>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes >>about.
>>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
>>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek >>club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a >>shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some >>game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of >>woman's "wuss-dar." >If you don't respect yourself don't expect to be respected. >I think that's what the "wuss-dar." is about. >It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you want.
Sorry Xenos. I respect your need to look into all this ... If you think that you have self-esteem problems, then please look into it. You may want to look into it without it being wrapped up in the whole, how to attract women thing. There are many self esteem books, and self help books; and they give many tips and different ways of looking at life and oneself. I've gotten some good ideas from all those thoughts.
There's a difference between being a "doormat" & doing things for women that u like. If a woman rejects me because I show too much interest, lol ... there's something wrong with this woman. Being a doormat is an extreme, so look into it. This person's main example are people's interactions in a bar. So, immediately it's about people who like bars. The old party scene. Another example where women who "call them," and hang out at their house ... yet he never attempted to describe who these women are - can we say, "party girl." (excuse this major generalization!) ... I guess he thinks they are all the same. They're not. I'm not into bars, or party girls, or drunken debouchery, or being the life of the party - nor will I ever be. If that means I'm not attractive to 90% of women out there, so be it. That leaves millions of possible women ... it only takes one. Try places where u are comfortable, and on top of your form; glass making or solar conventions, clubs where u meet people with the same interests. Places where what your good at can shine through.
There are many types of people ... I don't play games with people; if people play games with me - I head in the other direction. Life is too short for these games.
What I've noticed, is that there are a few people (men and women) that u just "click" with. Talk comes naturally, and u have an immediate comradery. This has a lot to do with personality types, and common interests and life-views. The guy who wrote this would probably say, look out; your going to be "just" friends - no romance. Well, if that's the case, so what? I like being friends with women! Being friends is a prerequisite to a good relationship (IMHO). This fellow separated the two as if they were incompatible - jeez. That's how I met my ex, our first meeting we talked for 4 hours straight .... it took almost a year to get romantic with her -- we were friends 1st. And it wasn't because of this fellow's friends nixes romance philosophy; it was because she was involved with someone.
All these ideas, are just ideas - life is a huge hodge podge of ideas ... There are no absolutes that fit all people.
>Men with no pride are disgusting to women. >It least i interpreted the letter that way.
I believe there is a difference between pride and self-esteem; as bogey pointed out. To be comfortable with yourself is a key to a lot of things in life; as well as attracting a woman of like interests. Go places where you are comfortable, and your self-confidence in "your interests" are apparent. Try different places, coffee houses, physical fitness clubs, walk in the park (a dog is an invitation to many to say hi, oh how cute), -- don't let your self-esteem get bonked because it doesn't "click," just know it only takes one; and your happy in the meantime. Learn to laugh!
I was raised with little self-esteem. I garnered mine through reading a lot of philosophy books, and just life-experience. I learned early on that there are many ways to look at life; many different types of people. Anyone who says they "know what's going on" is suspect in my book, or trying to sell u something. Divorce can knock you down, waaaaay down .... everything in your life is suspect - self esteem has to be relearned or rekindled as the questions that cloud your perception get answered.
best to you -- billbo
>>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are >>married?
>>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this >>way.
>>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of >>many.
> In article <bn5gcu$j7...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>, bogart <nore...@here.there> wrote:
> >> "wuss-dar." > >> is about. > >> It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you > > want. > >> Men with no pride are disgusting to women. > >> It least i interpreted the letter that way.
> >I don't think its pride Xenos. Pride is a thin > >unsatisfying emotion (maybe not even an emotion, > >perhaps a need).
> >For example I think its possible to be quite self-less > >and still be attractive. My guess would be that people > >like Ghandi were very attractive to women for instance.
> >I think its courage, risk taking, confidence, and being at > >ease with yourself. Maybe I'm wrong - female opinion please > >respond.
> Just my opinion: > Being a doormat is a turnoff. So is being mean. > Being closed-off and secretive is a turnoff. Being fake or igotistical is a > turnoff. > Being gentle but strong, affectionate and emotionally open are turnons. > Being protective is a turnon. Being able to express feelings is a turnon. > And the #1 turnon: Caring about me. :-)
On Wed, 22 Oct 2003 15:36:21 GMT, i...@hatespam.com (ml) wrote: >In article <bn5gcu$j7...@news7.svr.pol.co.uk>, bogart <nore...@here.there> wrote:
>>> "wuss-dar." >>> is about. >>> It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you >> want. >>> Men with no pride are disgusting to women. >>> It least i interpreted the letter that way.
>>I don't think its pride Xenos. Pride is a thin >>unsatisfying emotion (maybe not even an emotion, >>perhaps a need).
>>For example I think its possible to be quite self-less >>and still be attractive. My guess would be that people >>like Ghandi were very attractive to women for instance.
>>I think its courage, risk taking, confidence, and being at >>ease with yourself. Maybe I'm wrong - female opinion please >>respond.
>Just my opinion: >Being a doormat is a turnoff. So is being mean. >Being closed-off and secretive is a turnoff. Being fake or igotistical is a >turnoff. >Being gentle but strong, affectionate and emotionally open are turnons. >Being protective is a turnon. Being able to express feelings is a turnon. >And the #1 turnon: Caring about me. :-)
nice list ... I imagine many women actually do have these kind of qualities high on their list.
Now where are these women?? ... my igo could use some building up!
; ) heehee
j/k sweety - billbo
Capt'n! The spellcheckerrr kinna take much morrre of this abuse!
>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >>they take the advice in this post.
>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
It's more like these are the most physically desirable women, so men have to tolerate the behavior. They don't like women because they behave this way, but in spite of it.
Women, on the other hand, actually like the behavior. If a nice girl goes bad, she attracts the same number of men; if a nice guy goes bad, he goes from getting no women to getting a harem.
>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes >about.
>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
And they'll call you LOSER. That's the sad thing.
>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church,
"I don't go to church to meet men" is what she can say if she doesn't like the guy.
>star trek >club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc.
"I don't go to bookstores to meet men" is her all-purpose excuse.
>If someone connects over a >shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some >game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of >woman's "wuss-dar."
Why would a "shared interest" be a foundation for a marriage? That's how FRIENDS hook up, not lovers.
>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are >married?
They settle for less attractive women on less favorable terms.
>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this >way.
You mean they SAY this.
>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of >many.
>>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >>>it's never a "rag" session.
>>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >>they take the advice in this post.
>No woman will ever admit ( with the exemption of ml sometimes ) how a >woman " works ". >Fore a man who don't know it is better to listen to other more >experienced men.
But be careful: as more women become aware that men are figuring out the rules, the rules they shall change.
The one flaw in the player methods is that they assume that female behavior is unchanging when that is clearly not the case.
>>>>>Nope. I rarely talk with my single friends about men. And when I do, >>>>>it's never a "rag" session.
>>>>>I'm sure writing this helped the OP feel better, though.
>>>>Odd that no woman claim to behave this way, yet men report good results when >>>>they take the advice in this post.
>>>If you like this kind of woman .... go fot it.
>>>Generalities like this have a bit of truth about those it generalizes >>>about.
>>>If I had to play this cat & mouse game to get a woman ... call me celibate.
>>>What happened to meeting a person of similar nature at church, star trek >>>club (or other gathering) or a bookstore, etc. If someone connects over a >>>shared interest, it'll be a far better relationship than one based on some >>>game u play to appease some chase scenario based on a certain type of >>>woman's "wuss-dar."
>>If you don't respect yourself don't expect to be respected. >>I think that's what the "wuss-dar." is about. >>It is like if i would say: I love you and i could be your doormat if you want.
>Sorry Xenos. I respect your need to look into all this ... If you think >that you have self-esteem problems, then please look into it. You may want >to look into it without it being wrapped up in the whole, how to attract >women thing.
You got a good point here.
> There are many self esteem books, and self help books; and >they give many tips and different ways of looking at life and oneself. I've >gotten some good ideas from all those thoughts.
> There's a difference between being a "doormat" & doing things for >women that u like. > If a woman rejects me because I show too much interest, lol ... >there's something wrong with this woman. Being a doormat is an extreme, so >look into it.
I have my week moments sometimes but they don't last long.
> This person's main example are people's interactions in a bar. So, >immediately it's about people who like bars. The old party scene. Another >example where women who "call them," and hang out at their house ... yet he >never attempted to describe who these women are - can we say, "party girl." >(excuse this major generalization!) ... I guess he thinks they are all the >same. They're not. > I'm not into bars, or party girls, or drunken debouchery, or being the >life of the party - nor will I ever be. If that means I'm not attractive to >90% of women out there, so be it. That leaves millions of possible women >... it only takes one. > Try places where u are comfortable, and on top of your form; glass >making or solar conventions, clubs where u meet people with the same >interests. Places where what your good at can shine through.
Hmm ...
>There are many types of people ... I don't play games with people; if >people play games with me - I head in the other direction. Life is too >short for these games.
>What I've noticed, is that there are a few people (men and women) that u >just "click" with. Talk comes naturally, and u have an immediate comradery. >This has a lot to do with personality types, and common interests and >life-views. >The guy who wrote this would probably say, look out; your going to be >"just" friends - no romance. Well, if that's the case, so what? I like >being friends with women! > Being friends is a prerequisite to a good relationship (IMHO). This >fellow separated the two as if they were incompatible - jeez.
> That's how I met my ex, our first meeting we talked for 4 hours >straight .... it took almost a year to get romantic with her -- we were >friends 1st. And it wasn't because of this fellow's friends nixes romance >philosophy; it was because she was involved with someone.
>All these ideas, are just ideas - life is a huge hodge podge of ideas ... >There are no absolutes that fit all people.
>>Men with no pride are disgusting to women. >>It least i interpreted the letter that way.
>I believe there is a difference between pride and self-esteem; as bogey >pointed out. > To be comfortable with yourself is a key to a lot of things in life; >as well as attracting a woman of like interests. Go places where you are >comfortable, and your self-confidence in "your interests" are apparent.
Yep.
> Try >different places, coffee houses, physical fitness clubs, walk in the park >(a dog is an invitation to many to say hi, oh how cute), -- don't let your >self-esteem get bonked because it doesn't "click," just know it only takes >one;
>I was raised with little self-esteem. I garnered mine through reading a lot >of philosophy books, and just life-experience. I learned early on that >there are many ways to look at life; many different types of people. Anyone >who says they "know what's going on" is suspect in my book, or trying to >sell u something. > Divorce can knock you down, waaaaay down .... everything in your life >is suspect - self esteem has to be relearned or rekindled as the questions >that cloud your perception get answered.
> best to you -- billbo
>>>If 90% of men do it wrong; why does a majority of them have women or are >>>married?
>>>I have had very close women friends; and no .... they don't all feel this >>>way.
>>>People have different patterns they tend to follow. This is just one ... of >>>many.
