Looking for an Online Divorce Support Group
Andrea Clark
a year, and I'm still not feeling completely "right" again. I live in a
very small town, and the only thing close to support for divorced folks here
is the local bar (not my thing at this point!).
My ex is already remarrying, and although I'm not missing him, I am missing
being a family, and it just doesn't seem fair. I'm having trouble dating,
I've found that the casual thing is not for me, but am not ready for
anything serious either.
Has anyone else been in the same boat? What did you do for support??
Help!!
Thanks,
Andi
gerG
Andrea Clark wrote:
> Does anyone know of a good online support group?
Well, this place is as good as any!!! :D
I've been divorced almost
> a year, and I'm still not feeling completely "right" again. I live in a
> very small town, and the only thing close to support for divorced folks here
> is the local bar (not my thing at this point!).
>
> My ex is already remarrying, and although I'm not missing him, I am missing
> being a family, and it just doesn't seem fair. I'm having trouble dating,
> I've found that the casual thing is not for me, but am not ready for
> anything serious either.
>
Family goes beyond what is just in your house. Your family can be your
friends, a pet, too. You have to get used to the idea that it's okay to
be alone (ALONE is different from LONELY). I've been in my apartment
alone, but I was never lonely - friends and family where just a phone
call away.
When you're ready for dating, going out, serious relationship, whatever,
you'll know...no need to feel that you HAVE to date, casual or serious
after a year. Just let it happen.
After I was divorced on paper (I'd been divorced emotionally long
before), I tried dating...failure after failure. I didn't spend enough
"me" time (boy, does that sound cliche!). But I needed it. I had to
readjust to living on my own, depending on myself, being by myself -
stop looking for an emotional crutch/support/whatever.
Then it happened on its own. I wasn't looking, trying. It was actually
the furthest thing from my mind, getting involved with someone again.
I found that my family and friends and this group were the best support..
techchick
Some of us here have been there before and found it to be quite supportive.
Post again if you can't find it.
:-)
"Andrea Clark" <asch...@bossig.com> wrote in message
news:7L8k7.395$xz1.2...@bcandid.telisphere.com...
ScottCGCS
1. You probably won't feel completely "right" again until many good decisions
on your part and some time passes. By then, you will likely be a different
person - a person about whom you can be proud.
2. This is a very good online divorce support group.
3. Personally, I dated. I ran ad online. The women I met were all very bright
successful divorced women. I had a great time and eventually remarried. It is
much better (and I bet safer) than the bar scene.
Scott
Yahoo webrings
--
A Broken Heart Aid Group
http://Relationships.HotAvenue.com
Association of I Ching Divination
http://IChing.HotAvenue.com
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http://FengShui.HotAvenue.com
Association of Chinese Astrology and Divination
http://ChineseAstrology.HotAvenue.com
Association of Pagan and Witchcraft
http://Pagan.HotAvenue.com
Association of Astrology
http://Astrology.HotAvenue.com
Association of Tarot Divination
http://Tarot.HotAvenue.com
Association of Taoism
http://Tao.HotAvenue.com
Association of Buddhism
http://Buddhism.HotAvenue.com
"ScottCGCS" <scot...@aol.comnojunk> wrote in message
news:20010901164119...@mb-ca.aol.com...
Andrea Clark
I guess I phrased my post wrong. My husband moved out September 2000.
Divorce was final April 2001. It's been a year that we've been separated,
although "on paper" it's only been 4 months since the divorce was final.
I've been having a really rough time lately and was looking for help. Maybe
this isn't the place for me.
LKLarson1
people, but wise, intelligent, kind people that can offer suggestions to
improve my life.
Buzzy
gerG
people...that is the nature of any support group *ESPECIALLY* when it
comes to *usenet newsgroups*. Just ignore the mean critical ones and pay
attention to the ones that offer you valid advice... I mean, just look
through the message history for this group...when the mean and critical
ones speak up, the wise, intelligent and kind people do a 180 and take
care of them...then go back to being wise, intelligent and kind. :)
Jeri
If you want help then tell the truth! This goes for anyone that comes in
here! Don't embellish facts or pretend things that aren't true. How on earth
can you expect help if we don't know the real facts?? Not to mention lying
really makes you look like a troll.
Subject: D-Day, Need Prayers
http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&safe=off&threadm=3b13c9cc%40news.newsz
illa.com&rnum=3&prev=/groups%3Fas_uauthors%3Daschrock%40bossig.com%26num%3D1
00%26as_scoring%3Dd
Note the date on that post is May 29 not April. So instead of being divorced
a year as claimed in your original post or 4 months as claimed in this post
it's actually been 3 months. Why the deception?
--
Jeri
"Set your course by the stars, and not by the lights of every passing ship."
-Omar Bradley
Bruce...@yahoo.com
02 Sep 2001 14:47:40 GMT: Jeri wrote:
> ... tell the truth ... Don't embellish ... lying ... Why the deception?
Really Jeri - wouldn't a gentle request for clarification be better
than accusing the poster of offenses you are unlikely to know whether
or not she has actually committed? Maybe she just got confused about
the dates, perhaps? Maybe the gritty detail of her legal battles are
more complicated than she is willing to share here? Presenting the
separation date as the divorce date is imprecise, but is it really,
in this case, deceptive?
> http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&safe=off&threadm=3b13c9cc%40news.newsz
> illa.com&rnum=3&prev=/groups%3Fas_uauthors%3Daschrock%40bossig.com%26num%3D1
> 00%26as_scoring%3Dd
Trivia note: the URL could have been shortened to:
http://groups.google.com/groups?selm=3b13...@news.newszilla.com
You have a reputation for being "tough" Jeri, and that's fine, but this
post was downright mean IMHO.
- Bruce (who echoes the words of a fellow ASD poster: "People should
just try harder to be nice, dammit!")
Andy Mox
LKLarson1 <lkla...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010902052003...@mb-mq.aol.com...
Buzzy,
I have found some wonderful people in this newsgroup, who gave me great
support. They have also kicked my butt when I needed it. Sometimes our
judgement or perception gets so clouded that you need a fresh eye.
I hope you stay
Andrea Clark
lying. It's just that all my family and friends (and especially my ex) feel
that I've been divorced almost a year now, and I forgot that technically I'm
not. Doesn't mean I haven't been lonely or alone for a year! And at least
I learned a little about posting to newsgroups!
Thanks again,
<Bruce...@Yahoo.com> wrote in message news:3B926D96...@Yahoo.com...
Bruce...@yahoo.com
2 Sep 2001 11:09:09 -0700: Andrea Clark wrote:
> Thanks for helping me out there ...
No problem Andi. I think you may have just caught some of us
on a bad day. ASD really does have lots of good people with
helpful insights, and I hope you'll stay with us.
As is often said, "take what you can use, what works for you,
and leave the rest".
- Bruce
David Armstrong
I found a good divorce support site in the Divorce Section of
www.marriagebuilders.com
Good luck. I'm in the midst of a divorce also.
David
"Andrea Clark" <asch...@bossig.com> wrote in message
news:7L8k7.395$xz1.2...@bcandid.telisphere.com...
Bryan Oakley
news:gErk7.406803$EF2.52...@typhoon.nyroc.rr.com...
>
> "Andrea Clark" <asch...@bossig.com> wrote in message
> news:pgjk7.396$xz1.2...@bcandid.telisphere.com...
> > Janie,
> >
> > I guess I phrased my post wrong. My husband moved out September 2000.
> > Divorce was final April 2001. It's been a year that we've been
separated,
> > although "on paper" it's only been 4 months since the divorce was final.
> >
> > I've been having a really rough time lately and was looking for help.
> Maybe
> > this isn't the place for me.
> >
>
> If you want help then tell the truth! This goes for anyone that comes in
> here! Don't embellish facts or pretend things that aren't true. How on
earth
> can you expect help if we don't know the real facts?? Not to mention lying
> really makes you look like a troll.
Wow, that was rude.
Perhaps Andrea just isn't quite comfortable with the terminology. I have the
same problems -- I'm new to divorce (just a few weeks of separation, I'm not
really divorced, I only feel that way...) and this is a new world to me. My
folks were never divorced, and I generally have never had divorced people in
my circle of friends, so the terminology is just not part of my life. So I
can see how it may be natural for someone to say "I'm divorced" when the
legal term is "separated". Perhaps Andrea was talking about her emotional or
physical situation rather than her legal situation.
I prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. Andrea probably feels like
she's been divorced for a year even if the courts only say 4 months.
Hang in there, Andrea.
joel...@ix.netcom.com
wrote:
I've found that sometimes this is a good forum and sometimes the flow
is so distracted by side issues and strange squabbles that the best
way to go is to pick people that have made sense in public and then
send them private email. Make sure you pick people who are fully
aware of the need to keep that kind of correspondence fully private.
Although I tried (and failed) I found that the first year after the
divorce was way to early for me to seek success in new dating
alliances. This was ture even though I was coing out of a hellish
situation and a divorce that was absolutely necessary. Three years
after finalization, I'm still rebuilding, learning, trying things and
making mistakes. It can be a very long process for some.
What are the thoughest things for you to deal with. Does any of that
reflect areas where you would like to grow, regardless of the
association with post divorce symptoms? Quite frequently an event
like divorce will exacerbate preexisting needs and problems. The
hidden blessing is that once they are finally out in the open, you can
at last begin to effectively deal with them.
Cappi8
was an abuser who alienated me from friends and family) so I decided to join
a support group in my neighbourhood for separated and divorce people. This
was 8 years ago and I can tell you I have made some very good friends that I
consider "family" today. Many of us are now coupled (yes we met our new
mates in the group), The group offered monthly meetings with guess speakers
as well a smaller "buddy groups". The buddy group consisted of 7/8 people
who met either at someone's home or would go out to socialize. We were
there for each other when we needed emotional support. The support group
had many social events for families and kids got to meet other kids that
were from divorced homes. I still get together with a friend of mine and
our four daughters whom have become friends as well. There was always
someone I could call and talk to when I was having a "crisis". This is the
best thing that I did for myself and saved me from going "insane" during the
most difficult period of my life.
You should look into finding a group in your city/town. Now a days, it
seems like divorce people are the "norm". There must be at least 20
different single groups in my city.
Good luck
Cappi8