Catch Cheating Spouses
Michael Brooks
going to give it a try. The address is
Who knows?
Keith Wood
If you have to lie to us to get business, how can you be trusted not to
lie to us later?
Peter G Dellys
"> > www.ketchthem.com
Taken from their site........
"They will develop a relationship with your spouse using our proven methods.
When your spouse logs online we will be there to converse with him/her. We
operate 24 hours a day. Our goal is to entice them to set up a date."
Does this sound like entrapment to you? Sure does to me!
Peter
Indy
>When your spouse logs online we will be there to converse with him/her.
>We
>operate 24 hours a day. Our goal is to entice them to set up a date."
>
>Does this sound like entrapment to you? Sure does to me!
I agree Peter. And wonder what happens if the spouse doesn't bite? do they
fabric a log?
Peter G Dellys
"Indy" <indy...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010517023819...@ng-mg1.aol.com...
> I agree Peter. And wonder what happens if the spouse doesn't bite? do
they
> fabric a log?
Dunno. Maybe it's a blackmail scam as well. They take your $$ if your spouse
is "cheating". If your spouse *isn't* cheating, then they threaten to let
your spouse know you were spying on them. Another "fee" is then payable for
their silence ;>
I expect to see this mob in F***ed Company.com just as soon as people
realize they can get their own sniffer software and free low-level utilities
that do the PC spying job just as well...if you've a mind to do it. The GPS
thingy on their site is a good idea for a whole range of applications, not
just spouse-spying. There is a whole debate about spouse-spying that is
interesting that I won't go into here, however.......
I'm told ( ;>) that re-setting the spouse's car tripmeter is a good, cheap
way of catching out the fibbing spouse. Re-set the tripmeter to 0000 before
he/she goes over to "the sister's for coffee" - which you know is *EXACTLY*
8.5 miles away. Upon return, ask him/her what they did....you want to make
sure any additional mileage can be readily explained. If it comes back with
17 miles on it, you may fairly assume you have been given the truth. If the
car has 10.3 miles on the tripmeter, Houston, you have a problem. If it
comes back with 10.3 miles on it several times for supposedly different
locations, take a geometric compass on a map and subscribe a circle 8.5
miles from the point of departure, to give you your radius of infidelity
(this is a technical term, guys and gals :). You will then be in a better
position to decide who the possible suspects are, and how much time you'd
like to give your mangy spouse to get their sorry, lying ass out of your
life and your house!!!!!!!!!!! ....and then you calm down a
little......meditation can help.........try this.......it works, it really
does :)
Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here.
No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called the world.
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding
under the water.
There now, feeling better?
Sam
Not after reading this crap! Did either of you ever hear the
saying...something about being careful what you wish for because you
just may get it? Chances are if you're so inclined to "catch" your
cheating spouse....you already have your answer. I would assume that
finding hard proof only hurts you further and causes nothing but
pain...and anyway, aren't you just as devious and untrustworthy if you
can bring yourself to "spy" on your spouse?!?!?!
Sam
Debbie P
what is happening is not the same thing as the person who is cheating. I
was going to hire a private detective to get the "goods" on my husband and
his extramarital activities until a good friend of mine asked me, "What will
you do with this information once you get it?" If it is necessary to prove
adultery (which isn't as easy as it sounds according to my attorney) I
suppose the several hundred dollars invested would be worth it. However, in
my case I was trying to save money by working out a dissolutionment between
us, and with pictures or other evidence that would truly just eat away at me
for years to come, I decided it would indeed only hurt me as well as make me
somewhat bitter to do that. As it is, my stbx just told me he had slept
with someone else one day, I think intentionally to hurt me during an
argument. It worked. Until....
Someone on this group posted something great that I copied down. When I
married my husband, I picked someone I *thought* was honest, trustworthy,
ambitious, commited, communicative, and loving. The "fluffy" (I love that!)
picked someone who she knew already was a cheater, a liar, undependable and
irresponsible, as well as willing to walk out on his wife and children he
had promised to be with. She can't be much if that is who she picked. So,
to me, she is not worthy of even my consideration. Makes it much easier for
me.
Debbie
Bruce Werner
Excellent post Debbie! So many people pour so much effort into revenge,
and for what? All too often, more mutual misery. Very insightful!
- Bruce
-----------------------------
Keith Wood
No, thanks, I'm trying to catch myself a FAITHFUL spouse . . !
wolf...@yourmamma.net
>Not after reading this crap! Did either of you ever hear the
>saying...something about being careful what you wish for because you
>just may get it? Chances are if you're so inclined to "catch" your
>cheating spouse....you already have your answer. I would assume that
>finding hard proof only hurts you further and causes nothing but
>pain...and anyway, aren't you just as devious and untrustworthy if you
>can bring yourself to "spy" on your spouse?!?!?!
Sam, having been in that boat I have a few comments.
First, your right that it can add to the pain one is allready facing.
However cheaters do not always flaunt thier ways. Would you dump your
spouse only on a gut feeling? Many are left with ugly choices, look or
play ostrich. Don't forget that in many states, this information if
used, can affect waiting time, alimony and a host of other divorce
related issues.
As to being devious and untrustworthy by spying, I beg to differ. Is a
undercover officer devious and untrustworthy when they do a drug
investigation? Sometimes spying is a case of protecting oneself from a
untrustworthy person.
Having "spied" upon my spouse I not only defend the act, I recomend
it. The spefic knowlage which I could prove put me in a far stronger
bargining postion. Suddenly I wasn't the person leaving. What I
learned was too much for me to deal with in the end and our marriage
failed. That said, I'll take living with the truth over living with a
lie any day of the week.
Philosophers and plowmen,each must know his part
To sow a new mentality, closer to the Heart.
---------------------------------------------------------------
BOYCOTT CHINESE GOODS!
To Reply by e-mail remove the number 1 from
wolf...@socket.net
Netguy
says...
Disclaimer: I am a newbie lurker on this group and this is my first
post...
I got a call 6 days ago from another man's wife saying she had been
suspicious and was checking out his emails while he was away and found
mail from my wife indicating they had been intimate. She confronted him
and he confessed and she called me with the news. I have never met her
or previously talked to her. I know the husband and he was one of three
other people on my wife's bowling team a few years back (I don't bowl).
My wife and I have been married nearly 25 years, have 18 and 16 year old
sons. We both work. Our marriage is not as close as it once was, with a
definite lack (at least from my viewpoint) of affection at times and a
corresponding lack of enthusiasm from me for sex. However, in the last
month or two, things have definetely improved in both areas.
I have not yet asked my wife about this yet, I guess partly because I am
afraid of the answer and also to mull it over.
Anyway, what now? Spy or not spy?
I haven't been sleeping well worrying and just writing this out has put
my stomach in a turmoil.
Any advise or thoughts appreciated from the group.
--
Debbie P
someone understands what I am trying to say in the midst of all the words I
pour out at times.
Second, wolfsong:
You said, "That said, I'll take living with the truth over living with a
lie any day of the week. "
Wow. That speaks volumes to me. I am with you completely, absolutely 100%
on this one. Not much is worse to me than being lied to. My children
learned this, my high school students in my classes seem to learn this, but
my husband always thought he could out-smart me somehow by lying to me, but
I often found the flaw in his lies. He always seemed to underestimate
me...which I guess really says he must have lied to me a lot more and
gotten away with it or he possibly would have quit trying. That's a sad
thought.
<wolf...@yourmamma.net> wrote in message
news:tgojovt...@corp.supernews.com...
Steve Martin
"Sam" <prome...@altavista.com> wrote in message
news:f1f56841.01052...@posting.google.com...
<all other posts snipped>
>
> Not after reading this crap! Did either of you ever hear the
> saying...something about being careful what you wish for because you
> just may get it? Chances are if you're so inclined to "catch" your
> cheating spouse....you already have your answer. I would assume that
> finding hard proof only hurts you further and causes nothing but
> pain...and anyway, aren't you just as devious and untrustworthy if you
> can bring yourself to "spy" on your spouse?!?!?!
> Sam
Sam, what makes you think that catching a cheating spouse would make you
"just as devious and untrustworthy." Just as in almost anything, excessive
spying on your spouse can be a sign of your own problems, as much as your
spouses. I install security systems for a living and do not think my
customers are just as bad as the thieves for having a security system and
trying to catch the thief.
Most adultery takes a lot of lying and manipulating to pull off. If a
spouse has a reasonable concern, it is better to verify than to just divorce
because of your concerns. Just my opinion.
Sam, I don't think I have seen you post here before. I post under the name
of sam also.
sam
Don't push the red button, Never push the red button! Daffy Duck
wolf...@yourmamma.net
>Disclaimer: I am a newbie lurker on this group and this is my first
>post...
>
>I got a call 6 days ago from another man's wife saying she had been
>suspicious and was checking out his emails while he was away and found
>mail from my wife indicating they had been intimate. She confronted him
>and he confessed and she called me with the news. I have never met her
>or previously talked to her. I know the husband and he was one of three
>other people on my wife's bowling team a few years back (I don't bowl).
>
>My wife and I have been married nearly 25 years, have 18 and 16 year old
>sons. We both work. Our marriage is not as close as it once was, with a
>definite lack (at least from my viewpoint) of affection at times and a
>corresponding lack of enthusiasm from me for sex. However, in the last
>month or two, things have definetely improved in both areas.
>
>I have not yet asked my wife about this yet, I guess partly because I am
>afraid of the answer and also to mull it over.
>
>Anyway, what now? Spy or not spy?
>
>I haven't been sleeping well worrying and just writing this out has put
>my stomach in a turmoil.
>
>Any advise or thoughts appreciated from the group.
I'm going to offer you two of my two previous posts on the subject
edited to fit your situation. At the bottom instructions for getting
around Netscape passwords.
First I'd call the woman and ask to see a hard copy of the message.
#########################################################
First Post:
I think your going to spend a few restless nights until you sort this
out.
First, let me say that advice is a dangerous thing. Take my comments
and see if they fit your situation, use what works, ignore the rest.
A marriage without trust will die, and right now I'd guess there isn't
a lot of trust in your home.
Without telling her in advance, take a day off work and do a extensive
search of the house. Look at every scrap of paper, front and back.
Don't take for granted that the envlope from Aunt Sue contains a
letter from Aunt Sue, read it. Check on top of the kitchen cabinets,
under the sink, closet boxes, clothing on hangers, everywhere. Move
with methodical care, putting everything back as you found it.
Dump out the trash can and look for paper, notes, ect...
Depending on your phone company, it may be able to give you a listing
of all calls, even local from your phone. If not I am aware there are
computer programs able to record the incomming and outgoing phone
numbers. ProComm is one program I know that has been used for this.
Another poster mentioned putting a caller ID box out of sight, do it!
WalMart carries units able to record up to 129 entries.
You need to look through her purse, with the same care. Check her
ciggerete case. All while she's in the tub.
If you are new to computers (read Windows 95 or newer and never used a
dos box) email me as to the programs used on your machine. Often
deleted files will be around a long time waiting to be found. From the
dos box enter your word processing directory and use the undelete
command. Use the attrib command to search for hidden files.
Lastly, if she uses Juno or it's clones, you don't need to have her
password to access her current messages, you can read it as ascii
text. Any online accounts like hotmail can be hacked by simply using a
key recording program.
#######################################################
Second Post:
As a followup, I'd like to add a few words I should have included.
If you need to check into your spouse's activitys, you ought to ask
yourself three questions first
If I find XYZ, what will it meen as far as the marriage? By that I
meen if you find out your worst fears are true, will it the last straw
leading to divorce or another issue for marrige counseling?
You could easily learn something which despite your intentions to save
the marriage, you will not be able to deal with. In my case, knowing
certain facts doomed the relationship. I could not deal with the level
she sank to no matter how much I wanted to save the marriage, even
though she realized how foolish she had been.
The second question is this, do I really want to do this? If you think
watching kids is tough try watching a adult at a distance, keeping
your mouth shut, eyes open, going through constant emotional pain all
while wearing a smile.
If you feel you have to check, the mariage is toast so why put
yourself through this wringer?
Lastly, is this about pride or need to know? If it's about pride (SHE
CANT LIE TO ME) you need to step back and grasp that she has allready
lied to you. Nothing you learn will change that fact.
#########################################################
How to check mail sent
To examine sent mail in Netscape use MyComputer and get into the
Netscape directory
Open the USERS subdirectory (appears as a folder)
Open the DEFAULT subdirectory (appears as a folder)
Open the MAIL subdirectory (appears as a folder)
Open/start Wordpad
Drag and drop the file SENT (no extension) into Wordpad, read file
Drag and drop the file TRASH (no extension) into Wordpad, read file
Note: Search each USERS subdirectory for the SENT and TRASH file.
YooperBoyka
> it. The spefic knowlage which I could prove put me in a far stronger
> bargining postion. Suddenly I wasn't the person leaving. What I
> learned was too much for me to deal with in the end and our marriage
> failed. That said, I'll take living with the truth over living with a
> lie any day of the week.
>
YooperBoyka
(but go)
Netguy <net...@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.15762ade6...@news.epix.net...
Sam
> "Sam" <prome...@altavista.com> wrote in message
> news:f1f56841.01052...@posting.google.com...
>
> <all other posts snipped>
>
> >
> > Not after reading this crap! Did either of you ever hear the
> > saying...something about being careful what you wish for because you
> > just may get it? Chances are if you're so inclined to "catch" your
> > cheating spouse....you already have your answer. I would assume that
> > finding hard proof only hurts you further and causes nothing but
> > pain...and anyway, aren't you just as devious and untrustworthy if you
> > can bring yourself to "spy" on your spouse?!?!?!
> > Sam
>
>
> Sam, what makes you think that catching a cheating spouse would make you
> "just as devious and untrustworthy."
What if this spouse isn't cheating...then what is the "spying" on
him/her called??? I would be highly offended if my spouse was spying
on me and i don't really know if the damage caused by that would be
repairable.
Just as in almost anything, excessive
> spying on your spouse can be a sign of your own problems, as much as your
> spouses. I install security systems for a living and do not think my
> customers are just as bad as the thieves for having a security system and
> trying to catch the thief.
This example doesn't even make sense, installing a security system is
a preventative action, it's my understanding that people have them
installed to deter thieves, not to catch one that has been breaking
into their home....
>
> Most adultery takes a lot of lying and manipulating to pull off. If a
> spouse has a reasonable concern, it is better to verify than to just divorce
> because of your concerns. Just my opinion.
Like i said, what about veryifying that the spouse isn't actually
cheating....then what? Do you keep the info. that you've been spying
a secret? Yeah, that's a good idea...
>
> Sam, I don't think I have seen you post here before. I post under the name
> of sam also.
My name is Samantha and i haven't posted here before.
Andrew Gray
> news:20010517023819...@ng-mg1.aol.com...
> position to decide who the possible suspects are, and how much time you'd
> like to give your mangy spouse to get their sorry, lying ass out of your
> life and your house!!!!!!!!!!! ....and then you calm down a
This sounds good, but can you offer any practical advice as to HOW to
get her out of the house, which was jointly purchased? As far as I
know, adultery does not matter when it comes to dividing the assets,
at least in Ohio.
Also, a while back I saw a posting here that sounded something like
"if she cheated on you, take everything you can". Any practical
suggestions as to how to accomplish this?
Also, if somebody chooses to reply, please take into account that in
my particular case there are two kids involved - ages 1 and 4, girls.
Steve Martin
> "Steve Martin" <ste...@netusa1.net> wrote in message
news:<DKZO6.171$aD6....@newsfeed.slurp.net>...
> > "Sam" <prome...@altavista.com> wrote in message
> > news:f1f56841.01052...@posting.google.com...
> >
> > <all other posts snipped>
> >
> > >
> > > Not after reading this crap! Did either of you ever hear the
> > > saying...something about being careful what you wish for because you
> > > just may get it? Chances are if you're so inclined to "catch" your
> > > cheating spouse....you already have your answer. I would assume that
> > > finding hard proof only hurts you further and causes nothing but
> > > pain...and anyway, aren't you just as devious and untrustworthy if you
> > > can bring yourself to "spy" on your spouse?!?!?!
> > > Sam
> >
> >
> > Sam, what makes you think that catching a cheating spouse would make
you
> > "just as devious and untrustworthy."
>
> What if this spouse isn't cheating...then what is the "spying" on
> him/her called??? I would be highly offended if my spouse was spying
> on me and i don't really know if the damage caused by that would be
> repairable.
I would call checking up on one's spouse a serious sign that the marriage is
in trouble. Either the person doing the checking has serious emotional
problems, (jealousy, controlling, insecurity, etc...) or they have some
serious suspicions about their spouse. Either was the marriage is in
trouble. You have a right to react however you want to. If you want to be
highly offended and believe the damage is not repairable, then it might end
the marraige. I would suggest that a better course of action is to explore
why my spouse felt so uneasy that they would "spy" on me. Are there things
that I am doing that they interpret as threats to the marriage? Do I have
friends that they are uncomfortable with? Do I mislead them in any way?
Becoming offended, angry and defensive are the most common traits of people
who are caught in cheating, so your actions could very well reinforce in
your spouse that you are indeed having an affair. Remember when we took
those vows to each other? We promised to give of ourselves completely and
to become as one. I believe that trying to reassure each other and to
remove any suspicious activities from our life would go much further in
rebuilding the trust that neither party would seem to have in this scenario.
>
> Just as in almost anything, excessive
> > spying on your spouse can be a sign of your own problems, as much as
your
> > spouses. I install security systems for a living and do not think my
> > customers are just as bad as the thieves for having a security system
and
> > trying to catch the thief.
>
> This example doesn't even make sense, installing a security system is
> a preventative action, it's my understanding that people have them
> installed to deter thieves, not to catch one that has been breaking
> into their home....
>
On the contrary, over 90% of my sales calls are to people who have had a
break-in recently. Kind of like closing the barn door after the horse get's
out. And they almost all want the same thing, to catch whoever it was that
broke in. People want to feel safe and secure in their home. That is what
is so devastating about adultery. The one person that we thought we could
trust over all others, the one we share our heart and home with, can bring
something so horrible and vile into the relationship and to the home. And
then there is no place that is left for the spouse to be secure, everything
becomes suspect.
> >
> > Most adultery takes a lot of lying and manipulating to pull off. If a
> > spouse has a reasonable concern, it is better to verify than to just
divorce
> > because of your concerns. Just my opinion.
>
> Like i said, what about veryifying that the spouse isn't actually
> cheating....then what? Do you keep the info. that you've been spying
> a secret? Yeah, that's a good idea...
I don't think there is a single correct answer to your question. I would
certainly suggest marriage counseling, because the marriage is in trouble.
> >
> > Sam, I don't think I have seen you post here before. I post under the
name
> > of sam also.
>
> My name is Samantha and i haven't posted here before.
Someone very dear to me is named Samantha and also goes by Sam. I'm sorry
to meet you here. It usually is not the place that people come to unless
they are divorced or have a troubled marriage. :(
Lloyd Van't Haaff
it's face.
Firstly get a lawyer and YOU FILE FOR DIVORCE FIRST WITH CAUSE OF
ADULTERY! At the same time you go to court, get a temporary order for
sole possession/occupancy of the matrimonial home! This will enjoin
her from comming on the premises unless there is good reason: such as
picking up the kids for HER access time. This order will likely have
to address temporary custody of the children as well.
Since the house is jointly owned, you MAY have to pay her some money
to rent an appartment. However, if there is still a mortgage on the
house, she is still onligated to pay 1/2 of the mortgage - otherwise
you will likely NOT have to pay for her rent.
Once you have the temprary order, CHANGE THE LOCKS! If she refuses to
leave or violates the order, call the cops and have her physically
removed! If they have to do this, she will likely go to jail until the
judge can hear her explain why she should not be held in contempt of
the order!
The division of assets is only an issue at the divorce! Possession of
those assets is the real issue at this time. You may jointly decide to
sell the house, in which case the equity is split. You may also decide
to buy her out! But for now, YOU will occupy and care for the
matrimonial home!
But you REALLY NEED TO GET THE PAPERWORK IN PLACE - otherwise the COPs
will do NOTHING and YOU could get in trouble!
Good luck.
Lloyd
On 24 May 2001 09:27:36 -0700, sailin...@yahoo.com (Andrew Gray)
wrote:
wolf...@yourmamma.net
<tech...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
>my husband always thought he could out-smart me somehow by lying to me, but
>I often found the flaw in his lies. He always seemed to underestimate
>me...which I guess really says he must have lied to me a lot more and
>gotten away with it or he possibly would have quit trying. That's a sad
>thought.
Glad it wasn't just me... You live with someone, you see them dressed,
nude, at the dinner table coming from and going to work. Yet somehow,
they think they can lie to you on a ongoing basis and get away with it
without getting caught?
PooplyWooply
>> "Indy" <indy...@aol.com> wrote in message
>> news:20010517023819...@ng-mg1.aol.com...
>
>> position to decide who the possible suspects are, and how much time you'd
>> like to give your mangy spouse to get their sorry, lying ass out of your
>> life and your house!!!!!!!!!!! ....and then you calm down a
>
>This sounds good, but can you offer any practical advice as to HOW to
>get her out of the house, which was jointly purchased? As far as I
>know, adultery does not matter when it comes to dividing the assets,
>at least in Ohio.
You can't do anything without a court order.
Get an attorney.
The house etc is half hers whether you like it or not.
Loev,
Ms Pants
>
>Also, a while back I saw a posting here that sounded something like
>"if she cheated on you, take everything you can". Any practical
>suggestions as to how to accomplish this?
>
>Also, if somebody chooses to reply, please take into account that in
>my particular case there are two kids involved - ages 1 and 4, girls.
Visit my newsgroup alt.fan.poopie-pants
Askii Poopie for advice on just about anything.
Some of it may actually be useful
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http://www.homestead.com/poopieshowse/index.html
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Check out my advice froup
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http://www.laugh-your-ass-off.com/names.htm
I love the smell of linseed oil.
Poopie has now attained deity status, in the eyes of Rick_D from
alt.support.attn-deficit anyway....
Here is an excerpt from one of his posts:
*********************************************************************************
Along comes Dr. Poopie Pants, himself who asked me Rick, Why U so
inteerested in me?
I guess the previous paragraph says why, and my gratitude for carrying
that lesson home in a way I might not have is there. Really, if you
look at what the good Dr says it is very insightful. Often in life I
have a bias to those who do not present themselves in some
way as socially acceptable. It shows me some form of art in practice
and Dr. Poopie Pants, like Carlos Castenada's Don Juan, Louis the
14th's Voltaire, and Jesus Christ of Nazareth (a special story of
faith) are of the same genre and quality.
****************************************************
____ _ ____ __
/ __ \____ ____ ____ (_)__ / __ \____ _____ / /______
/ /_/ / __ \/ __ \/ __ \/ / _ \ / /_/ / __ `/ __ \/ __/ ___/
/ ____/ /_/ / /_/ / /_/ / / __// ____/ /_/ / / / / /_(__ )
/_/ \____/\____/ .___/_/\___//_/ \__,_/_/ /_/\__/____/
/_/
__ ____________
__/|_ / / / /_ __/ __ ) __/|_
| /_____ / / / / / / / __ |______| /
/_ __/_____// /_/ / / / / /_/ //_____/_ __|
|/ \____/ /_/ /_____/ |/
alt.astrology sabed ma life
Visit my newsfroup alt.fan.poopie-pants
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Poopie needs a new sig! Power Poopie cleans up in the castle:
_ ___ ___ ___ ___ ____ ___ ___ ____ ____ ___
_\|\__\|\__\|\__\|\__\ | \ / \ / \ | \l j / _]
||| ||| ||| ||| | | o Y YY Y| o )| T / [_
|\| |\| |\| |\| | | _/| O || O || _/ | | Y _]
`-' `-' `-' `-' | | |( | || || | | | | [_
|\/\/\/| | .------. | | l( !l !| | j l | T
.{{{}}}}}. |/ ...and \l__j \___/ \___/ l__j |____jl_____j
{{{} _ _]}}|| stay | ) ) ___ _
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Sam
> in trouble. Either the person doing the checking has serious emotional
> problems, (jealousy, controlling, insecurity, etc...) or they have some
> serious suspicions about their spouse. Either was the marriage is in
> trouble. You have a right to react however you want to. If you want to be
> highly offended and believe the damage is not repairable, then it might end
> the marraige. I would suggest that a better course of action is to explore
> why my spouse felt so uneasy that they would "spy" on me. Are there things
> that I am doing that they interpret as threats to the marriage? Do I have
> friends that they are uncomfortable with? Do I mislead them in any way?
No doubt, it is a serious sign that there are problems. Let's just
agree to disagree....I don't believe in spying, you do.
> Becoming offended, angry and defensive are the most common traits of people
> who are caught in cheating, so your actions could very well reinforce in
> your spouse that you are indeed having an affair. Remember when we took
> those vows to each other? We promised to give of ourselves completely and
> to become as one. I believe that trying to reassure each other and to
> remove any suspicious activities from our life would go much further in
> rebuilding the trust that neither party would seem to have in this scenario.
Maybe...rebuilding trust is a long and painful process. Do you really
believe that giving of ourselves completely and becoming one is a
healthy thing to do? Look at the statistics....more than half of
these promises fall through. These are not odds in our favor. I
don't know what the answers are...none of us do. We just go through
here the best we can and hopefully come out stronger.
> > This example doesn't even make sense, installing a security system is
> > a preventative action, it's my understanding that people have them
> > installed to deter thieves, not to catch one that has been breaking
> > into their home....
> >
>
>
> On the contrary, over 90% of my sales calls are to people who have had a
> break-in recently. Kind of like closing the barn door after the horse get's
> out. And they almost all want the same thing, to catch whoever it was that
> broke in. People want to feel safe and secure in their home. That is what
> is so devastating about adultery. The one person that we thought we could
> trust over all others, the one we share our heart and home with, can bring
> something so horrible and vile into the relationship and to the home. And
> then there is no place that is left for the spouse to be secure, everything
> becomes suspect.
Okay, I stand corrected. Although I didn't realize that thiefs keep
breaking into the same home...
I'm sure adultery leaves much pain, I cannot speak from experience but
it surely seems like a long, dark road.
> > Like i said, what about verifying that the spouse isn't actually
> > cheating....then what? Do you keep the info. that you've been spying
> > a secret? Yeah, that's a good idea...
>
>
> I don't think there is a single correct answer to your question. I would
> certainly suggest marriage counseling, because the marriage is in trouble.
The idea that one can change, is at best, wishful thinking. People
can change for a time, maybe even a long time, but not forever.
My name is Samantha and i haven't posted here before.
> Someone very dear to me is named Samantha and also goes by Sam. I'm sorry
> to meet you here. It usually is not the place that people come to unless
> they are divorced or have a troubled marriage. :(
No need to be sorry, Sam...I am just passing through.
Sam
wolf...@yourmamma.net
>This sounds good, but can you offer any practical advice as to HOW to
>get her out of the house, which was jointly purchased? As far as I
>know, adultery does not matter when it comes to dividing the assets,
>at least in Ohio.
>
>Also, a while back I saw a posting here that sounded something like
>"if she cheated on you, take everything you can". Any practical
>suggestions as to how to accomplish this?
>
Well, hope they sleep good. Walmart sells those air horns for boats,
with the can attached... a blast or three every two hours ought to
motivate her to kill you or move...
>Also, if somebody chooses to reply, please take into account that in
>my particular case there are two kids involved - ages 1 and 4, girls.
Always a bug in good plans... buyem ear muffs.
floridaNB
<pde...@bigpond.com> wrote:
>
>"Indy" <indy...@aol.com> wrote in message
>news:20010517023819...@ng-mg1.aol.com...
>
>
>> I agree Peter. And wonder what happens if the spouse doesn't bite? do
>they
>> fabric a log?
>
>Dunno. Maybe it's a blackmail scam as well. They take your $$ if your spouse
>is "cheating". If your spouse *isn't* cheating, then they threaten to let
>your spouse know you were spying on them. Another "fee" is then payable for
>their silence ;>
>
>I expect to see this mob in F***ed Company.com just as soon as people
>realize they can get their own sniffer software and free low-level utilities
>that do the PC spying job just as well...if you've a mind to do it.
Hehe ... I discovered the FC site by reading The Economist, a
respectable magazine. They spelled out the complete URL:
FloridaNB
pau...@gmail.com
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