another waste of space
confuzzled
Shiyiya
> delete
regrets.
cometz
wrote:
> delete
hi anyway. you not a delete to us.
confuzzled
> confuzzled wrote:
>> delete
>
> regrets.
hi
confuzzled
k
sorry
cometz
wrote:
no sorries. just hard times. us too. we glad you are being. i mean,
as opposed to not being. we take you as you come.
confuzzled
> On Nov 22, 1:47 pm, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>> cometz wrote:
>>> On Nov 22, 12:53 pm, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>> delete
>>> hi anyway. you not a delete to us.
>> k
>> sorry
>
> no sorries. just hard times. us too. we glad you are being. i mean,
> as opposed to not being. we take you as you come.
wish we could not be. sorry know that's all wrong
s
p
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1
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wish we could just be done. tired. want to give up. sorry. know this is
all wrong. can't get it right. dont even know whats right anymore. and
is stupid dumb drama. stupid words. wish we could just shut up
wondermutt not doing ok. having troubles walking. don't know whats
going. don't really know what to do. none of it makes sense. doesnt seem
like regular stuff. he not in pain and he coping so we will wait until
tomorrow and talk to vett. don't want to deal. isnt that horrible. just
dont want to. want to ignore. is just too much and dont think theyll
have answers. think they gonna say canine neurologist but is so much
money and so big
and we keep thinking if is wondermutt not gonna be ok then we get to
b*ad to. is horrible. is like we wanting him to go so wcan go
just want to be done
is too much
cant cant do this anymore
cant face another year of holudas
cant face anythijg anymore
just want to be done
stupd stupid selfish awful post
sorry
astri
> delete
hi
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================
astri
> wish we could not be. sorry know that's all wrong
>
> s
> p
> o
> i
> l
> e
> r
> e
> d
> 1
> 2
> 3
> 4
> 5
> 6
> 7
>
>
> wish we could just be done. tired. want to give up. sorry. know this
> is all wrong. can't get it right. dont even know whats right anymore.
> and is stupid dumb drama. stupid words. wish we could just shut up
understand!
:(
> wondermutt not doing ok. having troubles walking. don't know whats
> going. don't really know what to do. none of it makes sense. doesnt
> seem like regular stuff. he not in pain and he coping so we will wait
> until tomorrow and talk to vett. don't want to deal. isnt that
> horrible. just dont want to. want to ignore. is just too much and
> dont think theyll have answers. think they gonna say canine
> neurologist but is so much money and so big
bet just feels like is digging you deeper down
regrets
> and we keep thinking if is wondermutt not gonna be ok then we get to
> b*ad to. is horrible. is like we wanting him to go so wcan go
(understand)
(dangerous thinking)
> just want to be done
> is too much
> cant cant do this anymore
> cant face another year of holudas
> cant face anythijg anymore
> just want to be done
feels too hard
maybe isn't really too hard
but feels too hard
> stupd stupid selfish awful post
> sorry
regret
understand
sigh
confuzzled
> On Sun, 22 Nov 2009, confuzzled wrote:
>
>> wish we could not be. sorry know that's all wrong
>>
>> s
>> p
>> o
>> i
>> l
>> e
>> r
>> e
>> d
>> 1
>> 2
>> 3
>> 4
>> 5
>> 6
>> 7
>>
>>
>> wish we could just be done. tired. want to give up. sorry. know this
>> is all wrong. can't get it right. dont even know whats right anymore.
>> and is stupid dumb drama. stupid words. wish we could just shut up
>
> understand!
>
> :(
>
>> wondermutt not doing ok. having troubles walking. don't know whats
>> going. don't really know what to do. none of it makes sense. doesnt
>> seem like regular stuff. he not in pain and he coping so we will wait
>> until tomorrow and talk to vett. don't want to deal. isnt that
>> horrible. just dont want to. want to ignore. is just too much and
>> dont think theyll have answers. think they gonna say canine
>> neurologist but is so much money and so big
>
> bet just feels like is digging you deeper down
> regrets
>
ja!
but we had a thought (now that we can think)... last night, when I fed
the pets I did both morning and evening. two bowls each. one they got
last night, the other got stored in the frig so this morning all we had
to do is open the frig and set the food bowls down
I could have dumped both his night dose of meds and his morning meds in
his morning dish. would be a bad rotten mistake. know I was confused and
having problems focusing when I was doing it. is something new so don't
got a routine. he's acting like he has under a big med change. he's not
in pain. he's chipper until he's fallen down too much and even then he's
not too upset.
>> and we keep thinking if is wondermutt not gonna be ok then we get to
>> b*ad to. is horrible. is like we wanting him to go so wcan go
>
> (understand)
> (dangerous thinking)
>
<sigh>
>> just want to be done
>> is too much
>> cant cant do this anymore
>> cant face another year of holudas
>> cant face anythijg anymore
>> just want to be done
>
> feels too hard
> maybe isn't really too hard
> but feels too hard
>
trudge?
>> stupd stupid selfish awful post
>> sorry
>
> regret
> understand
> sigh
>
not spinning as bad
tired
(sorry)
astri
sigh
>> :(
>>
>>> wondermutt not doing ok. having troubles walking. don't know whats
>>> going. don't really know what to do. none of it makes sense.
>>> doesnt seem like regular stuff. he not in pain and he coping so we
>>> will wait until tomorrow and talk to vett. don't want to deal. isnt
>>> that horrible. just dont want to. want to ignore. is just too much
>>> and dont think theyll have answers. think they gonna say canine
>>> neurologist but is so much money and so big
>>
>> bet just feels like is digging you deeper down
>> regrets
>>
> ja!
>
> but we had a thought (now that we can think)... last night, when I
> fed the pets I did both morning and evening. two bowls each. one they
> got last night, the other got stored in the frig so this morning all
> we had to do is open the frig and set the food bowls down
>
> I could have dumped both his night dose of meds and his morning meds
> in his morning dish. would be a bad rotten mistake. know I was
> confused and having problems focusing when I was doing it. is
> something new so don't got a routine. he's acting like he has under a
> big med change. he's not in pain. he's chipper until he's fallen
> down too much and even then he's not too upset.
oh
then it won't last?
>>> and we keep thinking if is wondermutt not gonna be ok then we get
>>> to b*ad to. is horrible. is like we wanting him to go so wcan go
>>
>> (understand)
>> (dangerous thinking)
>>
> <sigh>
yes
>>> just want to be done
>>> is too much
>>> cant cant do this anymore
>>> cant face another year of holudas
>>> cant face anythijg anymore
>>> just want to be done
>>
>> feels too hard
>> maybe isn't really too hard
>> but feels too hard
>>
> trudge?
think so
(way lots muck)
>>> stupd stupid selfish awful post
>>> sorry
>>
>> regret
>> understand
>> sigh
>>
> not spinning as bad
> tired
k
> (sorry)
k
gathring
> delete
never a waste of space here, we have all the room in the universe here.
regrets deletes
gathring
is very difficult to reclaim this time of year and turn it into
something good. and sometimes get harder when other new hard stuff has
happened leading into the hard times. believe it will get better tho,
for all of us, over time. think sometimes we have to remember to put
thought into it before the holidays begin, so we have a plan.
> wondermutt not doing ok. having troubles walking. don't know whats
> going. don't really know what to do. none of it makes sense. doesnt seem
> like regular stuff. he not in pain and he coping so we will wait until
> tomorrow and talk to vett. don't want to deal. isnt that horrible. just
> dont want to. want to ignore. is just too much and dont think theyll
> have answers. think they gonna say canine neurologist but is so much
> money and so big
is very hard to deal with. hope it works out ok.
> and we keep thinking if is wondermutt not gonna be ok then we get to
> b*ad to. is horrible. is like we wanting him to go so wcan go
is thinking, and hurts, but can change this too.
> just want to be done
> is too much
> cant cant do this anymore
> cant face another year of holudas
> cant face anythijg anymore
> just want to be done
was where i was last year. so far this year is not so bad. you have
major stressors this year, think if you can hang in for a while will be
better.
> stupd stupid selfish awful post
> sorry
is just where you are right now. apologies not needed, but accepted if
you really feel the need.
confuzzled
> On Sun, 22 Nov 2009, confuzzled wrote:
>
>> delete
>
> hi
>
how you?
asd been fairly quiet
guess we are more sane tonight
we used to believe that meant we were a fake. couldn't be ok after a
meltdown because then the meltdown wasn't real
confuzzled
>>> :(
>>>
>>>> wondermutt not doing ok. having troubles walking. don't know whats
>>>> going. don't really know what to do. none of it makes sense.
>>>> doesnt seem like regular stuff. he not in pain and he coping so we
>>>> will wait until tomorrow and talk to vett. don't want to deal. isnt
>>>> that horrible. just dont want to. want to ignore. is just too much
>>>> and dont think theyll have answers. think they gonna say canine
>>>> neurologist but is so much money and so big
>>>
>>> bet just feels like is digging you deeper down
>>> regrets
>>>
>> ja!
>>
>> but we had a thought (now that we can think)... last night, when I
>> fed the pets I did both morning and evening. two bowls each. one they
>> got last night, the other got stored in the frig so this morning all
>> we had to do is open the frig and set the food bowls down
>>
>> I could have dumped both his night dose of meds and his morning meds
>> in his morning dish. would be a bad rotten mistake. know I was
>> confused and having problems focusing when I was doing it. is
>> something new so don't got a routine. he's acting like he has under a
>> big med change. he's not in pain. he's chipper until he's fallen
>> down too much and even then he's not too upset.
>
> oh
>
> then it won't last?
>
really really hope so. he much better then this morning. hoping that was
it. will know tomorrow
trying not to beat self up too much for being bad
>>>> and we keep thinking if is wondermutt not gonna be ok then we get
>>>> to b*ad to. is horrible. is like we wanting him to go so wcan go
>>>
>>> (understand)
>>> (dangerous thinking)
>>>
>> <sigh>
>
> yes
(hate this time of year)
(sorry)
>
>>>> just want to be done
>>>> is too much
>>>> cant cant do this anymore
>>>> cant face another year of holudas
>>>> cant face anythijg anymore
>>>> just want to be done
>>>
>>> feels too hard
>>> maybe isn't really too hard
>>> but feels too hard
>>>
>> trudge?
>
> think so
> (way lots muck)
>
<sigh>
astri
> astri wrote:
>> On Sun, 22 Nov 2009, confuzzled wrote:
>>
>>> delete
>>
>> hi
>>
> hi
>
> how you?
mostly hiding
(c noticed)
> asd been fairly quiet
>
> guess we are more sane tonight
k
> we used to believe that meant we were a fake. couldn't be ok after a
> meltdown because then the meltdown wasn't real
good you figured out that's not true
astri
guess so
k
> trying not to beat self up too much for being bad
would be useless to do that
>>>>> and we keep thinking if is wondermutt not gonna be ok then we get
>>>>> to b*ad to. is horrible. is like we wanting him to go so wcan go
>>>>
>>>> (understand)
>>>> (dangerous thinking)
>>>>
>>> <sigh>
>>
>> yes
>
> (hate this time of year)
> (sorry)
k
>>>>> just want to be done
>>>>> is too much
>>>>> cant cant do this anymore
>>>>> cant face another year of holudas
>>>>> cant face anythijg anymore
>>>>> just want to be done
>>>>
>>>> feels too hard
>>>> maybe isn't really too hard
>>>> but feels too hard
>>>>
>>> trudge?
>>
>> think so
>> (way lots muck)
>>
> <sigh>
yes
Shiyiya
hi
Baba Yaga
dunno, might be here a bit more.
will see!
confuzzled <nospamsometi...@gmail.com> wrote, in
alt.support.dissociation:
>we used to believe that meant we were a fake. couldn't be ok after a
>meltdown because then the meltdown wasn't real
double bind: the argument isn't ever that a meltdown after being o.k.
means that the o.k. is fake.
can both be real. quite often are. very confusing.
Baba Yaga
Baba Yaga
--
External things are no more like the perceptions they give rise to,
than wine is similar to intoxication, or opium to the delirium which
it produces.
- John Playfair
confuzzled
how you doing?
confuzzled
> flying by, maybe.
> dunno, might be here a bit more.
> will see!
>
Shiyiya
> Shiyiya wrote:
>> confuzzled wrote:
>>> Shiyiya wrote:
>>>> confuzzled wrote:
>>>>> delete
>>>>
>>>> regrets.
>>>
>>> hi
>>
>> hi
>
> how you doing?
think am over sick now. very glad, was miserable.
confuzzled
ja, sounded miserable
confuzzled
(don't really believe her)
is good when we at n's. we can remember that.
<...>
>> just want to be done
>> is too much
>> cant cant do this anymore
>> cant face another year of holudas
>> cant face anythijg anymore
>> just want to be done
>
> was where i was last year. so far this year is not so bad. you have
> major stressors this year, think if you can hang in for a while will be
> better.
>
<sigh>
maybe is just life stuff and we just gotta deal?
>> stupd stupid selfish awful post
>> sorry
>
> is just where you are right now. apologies not needed, but accepted if
> you really feel the need.
sorries seem to be needed.
sorries on top of sorries all piling up
gathring
can get better. don't think ever becomes perfect. am thankful that i
don't have to cook the meal anymore
> <...>
>
>>> just want to be done
>>> is too much
>>> cant cant do this anymore
>>> cant face another year of holudas
>>> cant face anythijg anymore
>>> just want to be done
>>
>> was where i was last year. so far this year is not so bad. you have
>> major stressors this year, think if you can hang in for a while will
>> be better.
>>
> <sigh>
> maybe is just life stuff and we just gotta deal?
maybe. can maybe be thankful you have the opportunity to learn how to deal.
>>> stupd stupid selfish awful post
>>> sorry
>>
>> is just where you are right now. apologies not needed, but accepted if
>> you really feel the need.
>
> sorries seem to be needed.
> sorries on top of sorries all piling up
understand