awesome discovery
T
I do not know if this should be a spoiler or not because I am relatively new at this
forum. But, for safety sake and not wanting to harm anyone who may read this I will.
The subject this post is discovering and integrating two alters to one.
spoiler
h
a
v
e
a
h
a
p
p
y
d
a
y
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
Recently after my hospital experience several wonderful things started to happen to me.
I trust us, and in doing so we are starting to come together. I just I am not sure if
you would consider it redefining or clarifying or what but in my own ineptness these are
the only words I know of now that I can use to descibe this wonderful event. I met my
alter "ORION" actually I use to describe him as two alters "The Cold One" and the "Army
Girl", but this alter is definetly male and is both parts of the two alters, which are
now just one. Orion is very unique in that he has kept alive for all of our life. He is
ageless.
Two nights ago while I was journalling I had this strange sensation in my body, not the
whoosh more like an overwhelming desire to draw. When I was little the grownups in my
life made me change from my left to my right hand. They did not want a left handed kid.
Anyway I have never been able to draw before and I picked up the pencil in my left hand
and started to draw, not quite sure of what I was drawing. And before I knew it the
drawing became a man face, neck, arms, legs bare chest levy jeans. The man on the page
before me was Orion. Or should I say my concept of him. Then I started to draw another
alter in the mountains with a water fall cascading into a stream below.
This was cool and scary all at the same time. These images were popping out of me onto
the paper in front of me. The rest of us watch this scene from a distance.
Does this sound to weird. Sometimes this whole thing of being multiple fascinates and
scares me at the same time on an intelectual level. But, for now I am just going with
it. I am exploring a talent that I never knew existed inside of me.
Since, I have not met anyone else in my environment that is multiple I have no one to
say ya I know what you mean, or no I haven't experienced that tell me more.
I have a teenage daughter who like me is still learing about her mom being a multiple.
I think for her she has always known like I have of all the different sides of her mom
but until now it was never defined, we all thought everyone was like this.
I hope this doesn't sound stupid but I like being a multiple. I have eight other
resources inside of me from which to draw from. I also have many different ways of
looking at the same thing. We like getting to know all the parts the hard parts are the
memories that have been locked up with some of my alters. But, with anything their is
always a price to be paid. We are willing paying that price.
authored by T/Chris/Mom
Rainbow Colors
I don't think this post required a spoiler so I will remove it. There
is nothing below that sounds like something that might trigger anyone.
In article <33728A...@sprintmail.com>, T <jaye...@sprintmail.com> wrote:
>I do not know if this should be a spoiler or not because I am relatively new at this
>forum. But, for safety sake and not wanting to harm anyone who may read this I will.
>The subject this post is discovering and integrating two alters to one.
>
Actually, I read this as discovering that two alters are really just
one and not that two separate alters integrated, but that's just how I
read it. :)
>Recently after my hospital experience several wonderful things started to happen to me.
>I trust us, and in doing so we are starting to come together. I just I am not sure if
>you would consider it redefining or clarifying or what but in my own ineptness these are
>the only words I know of now that I can use to descibe this wonderful event. I met my
>alter "ORION" actually I use to describe him as two alters "The Cold One" and the "Army
>Girl", but this alter is definetly male and is both parts of the two alters, which are
>now just one. Orion is very unique in that he has kept alive for all of our life. He is
>ageless.
>
>Two nights ago while I was journalling I had this strange sensation in my body, not the
>whoosh more like an overwhelming desire to draw. When I was little the grownups in my
>life made me change from my left to my right hand. They did not want a left handed kid.
I have always been right handed, but for several reasons I used to
practice with my left hand, 'just in case'. However, I have never
really been very good at it.
>Anyway I have never been able to draw before and I picked up the pencil in my left hand
>and started to draw, not quite sure of what I was drawing. And before I knew it the
>drawing became a man face, neck, arms, legs bare chest levy jeans. The man on the page
>before me was Orion. Or should I say my concept of him. Then I started to draw another
>alter in the mountains with a water fall cascading into a stream below.
>
>This was cool and scary all at the same time. These images were popping out of me onto
>the paper in front of me. The rest of us watch this scene from a distance.
>
This is so familiar! _I_ don't draw. Although I am 35 my drawings look
like a five year old did them. However, there are several inside who
_do_ draw, some of whom are left handed. Jamie is a particularly good
artist. I first met her when she was four and she draws at almost a
professional level. I made sure she had lessons and stuff a few years
ago :) Now that she is about eleven her drawings are almost scary they
are so good. Meanwhile, it hasn't rubbed off on me yet. *grin*
I can remember well the many many times we have gone somewhere and
just sat, before I realize it there is a drawing taking place, or a
pastel sketch or an ink drawing (depending on who is in control of the
hand I guess). I have noticed on a few occassions that the left hand
will be doing one picture and the right will be doing a different one.
Now _that_ is weird! :) When this is happening and I am aware of it, I
usually feel like I'm dreaming or in a fog or something. Sometimes
it feels like I fall asleep, lose time, and when I 'wake up' the
picture is done.
Sometimes I can get them to draw pictures for me :)
>Does this sound to weird. Sometimes this whole thing of being multiple fascinates and
>scares me at the same time on an intelectual level. But, for now I am just going with
>it. I am exploring a talent that I never knew existed inside of me.
>
>Since, I have not met anyone else in my environment that is multiple I have no one to
>say ya I know what you mean, or no I haven't experienced that tell me more.
>
>I have a teenage daughter who like me is still learing about her mom being a multiple.
>I think for her she has always known like I have of all the different sides of her mom
>but until now it was never defined, we all thought everyone was like this.
>
>I hope this doesn't sound stupid but I like being a multiple. I have eight other
>resources inside of me from which to draw from. I also have many different ways of
>looking at the same thing. We like getting to know all the parts the hard parts are the
>memories that have been locked up with some of my alters. But, with anything their is
>always a price to be paid. We are willing paying that price.
>
>authored by T/Chris/Mom
Although I definitely understand what you mean about liking the
multiplicity, I can't say the same unfortunately. My system has been
too dysfunctional in some pretty scary ways in the past for me to
really appreciate it like this. Although we have never actively tried
for it, as we get more cooperative and healthy as a system we are
spontaneously integrating so I will probably never know what it's like
to be in a functional multiple system and like it.
I do like the others inside, but not the consequences of being 'us'.
Rainbow Colors (Jill)
--
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.
ji...@magicno.com
anon...@anon.twwells.com
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
ContinuumX
On Fri. 9 May, 1997 ji...@illusion.magicno.com (Rainbow Colors) wrote:
"I don't think this post required a spoiler so I will remove it. There
is nothing below that sounds like something that might trigger anyone."
RC, your judgement, IMHO, is usually right on, but on this issue . . .
WE NEED spoilers on talk of *nt*gr*t**n, as not one of us is amenable to
the idea (it means d**th to some). I knew if I just told you, it'd be
okey-dokey, so "tag" you're told. : D
Thanks
Liz & kelly
****************************************************
"Silence Destroys"
anon-...@anon.twwells.com
****************************************************