?

cometz

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Apr 9, 2013, 10:49:30 PM4/9/13

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anyone know how confuzzled or michaela are doing?

i am up and down. got all twisted and lost and then all angry and
spouting off at facebook and then had some realizations and got out of
some toxic "friendships" and the t retired and the body is 60 soon and
the us are finding abilities not much used or understood, like finding
the good stuff when there is lots of crummy stuff making us feel
suff*cated and and... so anyway. i guess that's all.

hadn't been here in a big while and so good to see all the people back
and posts. reading lots of them. felt good to have so much too read
that it felt like too much. wow.

going to bed very shortly. now living with two dogs and one cat.
trying to dig out of my physical chaos that isn't hoarding but is too
much stuff i forget what i have stacked up and in closets. but not
garbage icky things like the hoarding ppl on tv. slowly making
progress. just that i can feels really good. pushing the stuff away to
make room for being.

ok. them's the words for now. wish asd was even more and more alive. i
will try to be here. that's the thing about fb, only a part of me can
be there mostly, and not always a part that we adore. heh.

astri

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Apr 10, 2013, 12:32:56 AM4/10/13

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On Tue, 9 Apr 2013, cometz wrote:

hihi

> anyone know how confuzzled or michaela are doing?

think they's ok

> i am up and down. got all twisted and lost and then all angry and
> spouting off at facebook and then had some realizations and got out
> of some toxic "friendships" and the t retired and the body is 60 soon
> and the us are finding abilities not much used or understood, like
> finding the good stuff when there is lots of crummy stuff making us
> feel suff*cated and and... so anyway. i guess that's all.

:P

:(

> hadn't been here in a big while and so good to see all the people
> back and posts. reading lots of them. felt good to have so much too
> read that it felt like too much. wow.

ya
and heh

> going to bed very shortly. now living with two dogs and one cat.
> trying to dig out of my physical chaos that isn't hoarding but is too
> much stuff i forget what i have stacked up and in closets. but not
> garbage icky things like the hoarding ppl on tv. slowly making
> progress. just that i can feels really good. pushing the stuff away
> to make room for being.

room for being is good

> ok. them's the words for now. wish asd was even more and more alive.
> i will try to be here. that's the thing about fb, only a part of me
> can be there mostly, and not always a part that we adore. heh.

all of you can be here, of course

Nahanton

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Apr 11, 2013, 9:47:10 AM4/11/13

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Hi, betsy...

Nahanton

cometz

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Apr 12, 2013, 8:03:11 PM4/12/13

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On Apr 11, 9:47 am, Nahanton <Nahan...@comcast.net> wrote:

hi nahanton. how are you? got words? if not just glad to see you.

b.

Shi

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Apr 12, 2013, 10:28:52 PM4/12/13

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hi :)

Nahanton

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Apr 13, 2013, 4:03:53 PM4/13/13

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On 2013-04-12 20:03:11 -0400, cometz <come...@gmail.com> said:

I'm doing ok... Nothing especially wrong...just feeling old, bored and
lonely. Really should not complain. Lots of ppl are a lot worse off
than me.
Seems like I've always been waiting for my life to _start_.... Now
that it's almost over, I realize that I didn't try hard enough to
_begin_ it....If that makes
any sense :)

Would like to hear what's going on with you. Seems like a very long
time has passed......

Nahanton

Catkejan

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Apr 25, 2013, 8:44:01 AM4/25/13

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Sorry to intrude, Nahanton, but you mentioned one thing I ponder
often...

On Apr 13, 4:03 pm, Nahanton <Nahan...@comcast.net> wrote:
> On 2013-04-12 20:03:11 -0400, cometz <comet...@gmail.com> said:

Yeah, but they're not you. I know how much you've cared and done to
help others. Why shouldn't you think of your happiness, too? You're
important.

> Seems like I've always been waiting for my life to _start_.... Now
> that it's almost over, I realize that I didn't try hard enough to
> _begin_ it....If that makes
> any sense :)
>
> Would like to hear what's going on with you. Seems like a very long
> time has passed......
>
> Nahanton

I sometimes feel like I got away from (external) badness and...
stopped. Like the further I got the more I stopped growing and
changing as a person. Maybe because the internal badness I carry with
me gave me trouble, maybe one of the other negative accusations I make
against myself... who knows.

I'm frustrated because there's lots of things I wanted to "grow up"
and do or be but somehow never got around to. They still seem just as
impossible, if not more so, because of missed opportunities. Or failed
ones.

Other times I'm not so sure. True, some major dreams remain distant.
But I have changed and I have done new things! Even typing this and
thinking back I was surprised how much stuff was still changing over
the last few months and years, despite my fear of stasis. Maybe
there's steadiness, not just slowness?

jp

P.S. I second Nahanton's question. If I may. :)

Nahanton

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Apr 25, 2013, 10:22:37 AM4/25/13

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On 2013-04-25 08:44:01 -0400, Catkejan <M8R-...@mailinator.com> said:

> Sorry to intrude, Nahanton, but you mentioned one thing I ponder
> often...

You are not intruding at all. I'm happy that you responded... :)

Actually, I -do- think of my happiness. I seem to have gotten to a
point in my life where I don't feel needed. I keep searching
for a "life worth living". I get up in the morning and wonder what can
I do to fill up my day. I still have the foundation, and it is
doing very well, but it almost runs itself. It takes no more than an
hour or two a week of my time. I am looking into volunteering at
the local hospital and taking some literature courses at a nearby university.

Things have changed so dramatically. It used to be that I practically
couldn't catch my breath with everything I needed to get done in a day.
Now
it feels very empty.

>
>> Seems like I've always been waiting for my life to _start_.... Now
>> that it's almost over, I realize that I didn't try hard enough to
>> _begin_ it....If that makes
>> any sense :)
>>
>> Would like to hear what's going on with you. Seems like a very long
>> time has passed......
>>
>> Nahanton
>
> I sometimes feel like I got away from (external) badness and...
> stopped. Like the further I got the more I stopped growing and
> changing as a person. Maybe because the internal badness I carry with
> me gave me trouble, maybe one of the other negative accusations I make
> against myself... who knows.
>
> I'm frustrated because there's lots of things I wanted to "grow up"
> and do or be but somehow never got around to. They still seem just as
> impossible, if not more so, because of missed opportunities. Or failed
> ones.
>
> Other times I'm not so sure. True, some major dreams remain distant.
> But I have changed and I have done new things! Even typing this and
> thinking back I was surprised how much stuff was still changing over
> the last few months and years, despite my fear of stasis. Maybe
> there's steadiness, not just slowness?

So, that good........yes??? Slow and steady sounds good to me. Thank
you so much for hearing me jp.

Nahanton

confuzzled

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Apr 26, 2013, 1:43:45 AM4/26/13

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On Tuesday, April 9, 2013 7:49:30 PM UTC-7, cometz wrote:

> anyone know how confuzzled or michaela are doing?
>

hi

astri

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Apr 26, 2013, 2:14:34 AM4/26/13

to

On Thu, 25 Apr 2013, confuzzled wrote:

> hi

:)

Shi

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Apr 26, 2013, 6:55:23 PM4/26/13

to

On Thursday, April 25, 2013 10:43:45 PM UTC-7, confuzzled wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 9, 2013 7:49:30 PM UTC-7, cometz wrote:
>
> > anyone know how confuzzled or michaela are doing?
>
> >
>
> hi
>

hi :)

gathring

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Apr 27, 2013, 11:02:05 AM4/27/13

to

On 4/25/2013 10:43 PM, confuzzled wrote:
> On Tuesday, April 9, 2013 7:49:30 PM UTC-7, cometz wrote:
>> anyone know how confuzzled or michaela are doing?
>>
> hi

hi!

Message has been deleted

confuzzled

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May 25, 2013, 12:50:00 PM5/25/13

to

hi
we posting through google groups
is stupid

confuzzled

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May 25, 2013, 12:50:28 PM5/25/13

to

you came back :)

confuzzled

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May 25, 2013, 12:50:54 PM5/25/13

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how you?

confuzzled

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May 25, 2013, 12:51:35 PM5/25/13

to

On Saturday, April 27, 2013 2:31:57 PM UTC-7, a...@a.a wrote:
> babies were chattin'....

> [[[oh really... ?
>
> [[[that interesting ?...
>
>
>
>
>
> shhh... [you're not sposed to be posting...
>
>
>
> shhh

you can post
you don't scare us anymore
hihi

astri

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May 25, 2013, 2:24:58 PM5/25/13

to

On Sat, 25 May 2013, confuzzled wrote:
> On Thursday, April 25, 2013 11:14:34 PM UTC-7, astri wrote:
>> On Thu, 25 Apr 2013, confuzzled wrote:
>>
>>> hi
>>
>> :)
>
> hi

hihi

> we posting through google groups
> is stupid

yup
is

:P

Shi

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May 25, 2013, 9:39:24 PM5/25/13

to

I did :) wandered back around.

confuzzled

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Jun 1, 2013, 1:55:17 AM6/1/13

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:)

gathring

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Jun 3, 2013, 11:00:20 AM6/3/13

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been better, but not terrible. stupid work stuff.

astri

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Jun 3, 2013, 3:09:26 PM6/3/13

to

On Mon, 3 Jun 2013, gathring wrote:

> been better, but not terrible. stupid work stuff.

:P

Message has been deleted

gathring

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Sep 24, 2014, 1:26:54 PM9/24/14

to

we are for sale again. current company not very ethical, and definitely
not caring/protective of employees. have essentially taken a 30% pay cut
over the last two years due to increased cost of employee 'benefits'
like health care and new policies regarding teaching 'extra' classes.

now youngest son is having problems, and not only can't work/go to
school (means loss of rent money) but is having additional medical expenses.

also means navigating the system to try and help him receive some type
of disability benefit until he is stable enough to work/go to school again.

oh, and his doctor doesn't want him driving right now, as he could be a
hazard to himself and/or others if he has a vision episode. means
additional stresses around getting him where he needs to be all the time.

oldest son does not drive, will not learn. yesterday had shoulder
surgery, so although i should be prepping for tomorrow's classes am
currently playing nursemaid so SO can have a break. will do prep this
afternoon.

SO still not working full time, but schedule means lots of transport
issues fall on me.

youngest's neurologist pulled a good one friday. wanted us to take him
to er for spinal tap. so and he spent 12 hours on sunday, only to be
told this should be an outpatient procedure and to get a referral from
dr. when so ran in to neuro at hospital yesterday, finds out that were
sent to er instead of her getting a consult on advisability of safety.
and of course after 12 hours of er dramatics when they got home sunday
night they were both crabby as hell.

ended up doing all the chores by myself sunday and lots of resultant
pain, so i was pretty crabby too.

it is the week before finals, and that is always very stressful as well.

okay, so maybe 'not terrible' is a generous assessment of how we have
been doing?

on friday i did get to work on building some of the items around here
that i've been wanting too. woodworking is good for my soul, although
its still a bit hot to be dealing.

still haven't taken my camera out for a while, and still haven't pulled
out any of my art supplies in far too long. maybe i'm getting there tho

astri

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Sep 29, 2014, 12:06:04 PM9/29/14

to

On Wed, 24 Sep 2014, gathring wrote:

> we are for sale again. current company not very ethical, and
> definitely not caring/protective of employees. have essentially
> taken a 30% pay cut over the last two years due to increased cost of
> employee 'benefits' like health care and new policies regarding
> teaching 'extra' classes.

urgh

> now youngest son is having problems, and not only can't work/go to
> school (means loss of rent money) but is having additional medical
> expenses.
>
> also means navigating the system to try and help him receive some
> type of disability benefit until he is stable enough to work/go to
> school again.
>
> oh, and his doctor doesn't want him driving right now, as he could be
> a hazard to himself and/or others if he has a vision episode. means
> additional stresses around getting him where he needs to be all the
> time.

blah
regret

> oldest son does not drive, will not learn. yesterday had shoulder
> surgery, so although i should be prepping for tomorrow's classes am
> currently playing nursemaid so SO can have a break. will do prep
> this afternoon.
>
> SO still not working full time, but schedule means lots of transport
> issues fall on me.

:P

> youngest's neurologist pulled a good one friday. wanted us to take
> him to er for spinal tap. so and he spent 12 hours on sunday, only
> to be told this should be an outpatient procedure and to get a
> referral from dr. when so ran in to neuro at hospital yesterday,
> finds out that were sent to er instead of her getting a consult on
> advisability of safety. and of course after 12 hours of er dramatics
> when they got home sunday night they were both crabby as hell.

gah

> ended up doing all the chores by myself sunday and lots of resultant
> pain, so i was pretty crabby too.

of course

> it is the week before finals, and that is always very stressful as
> well.

is all pretty rotten when taken together

> okay, so maybe 'not terrible' is a generous assessment of how we have
> been doing?

seems like

> on friday i did get to work on building some of the items around here
> that i've been wanting too. woodworking is good for my soul,
> although its still a bit hot to be dealing.

wow
good for you

> still haven't taken my camera out for a while, and still haven't
> pulled out any of my art supplies in far too long. maybe i'm getting
> there tho

we just hide in books

gathring

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Sep 30, 2014, 12:00:11 AM9/30/14

to

On 4/13/2013 1:03 PM, Nahanton wrote:
> On 2013-04-12 20:03:11 -0400, cometz <come...@gmail.com> said:
>

problem for me always was i couldn't figure out how to begin. makes no
sense and yet...

gathring

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Sep 30, 2014, 12:04:05 AM9/30/14

to

do that sometimes too. too easy to fall into not doing anything in this
life for me. somehow fall into depression that way.

gathring

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Sep 30, 2014, 10:53:08 PM9/30/14

to

exactly. just as one persons abuse is not 'worse' than anothers, abuse
is abuse. and all of us deserve to be happy.

>> Seems like I've always been waiting for my life to _start_.... Now
>> that it's almost over, I realize that I didn't try hard enough to
>> _begin_ it....If that makes
>> any sense :)
>>
>> Would like to hear what's going on with you. Seems like a very long
>> time has passed......
>>
>> Nahanton
>
> I sometimes feel like I got away from (external) badness and...
> stopped. Like the further I got the more I stopped growing and
> changing as a person. Maybe because the internal badness I carry with
> me gave me trouble, maybe one of the other negative accusations I make
> against myself... who knows.
>
> I'm frustrated because there's lots of things I wanted to "grow up"
> and do or be but somehow never got around to. They still seem just as
> impossible, if not more so, because of missed opportunities. Or failed
> ones.
>

or confusion

astri

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Oct 3, 2014, 12:15:30 AM10/3/14

to

related to having to do do do?

gathring

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Oct 4, 2014, 10:28:31 PM10/4/14

to

don't know, will have to think about that. i guess i would have to say
that my addiction is reading, and like many other additions, can be
harmful to my being in the way i am expected to?

astri

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Oct 5, 2014, 12:15:40 PM10/5/14

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"expected"

Message has been deleted