sometimes
cometz
and see that it is just my life.
cometz
> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
> and see that it is just my life.
and sometimes we laugh about it. what else can you do, really?
confuzzled
hi
cometz
confuzzled
> On Oct 29, 11:50 pm, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>> cometz wrote:
>>> On Oct 29, 11:26 pm, cometz <comet...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
>>>> and see that it is just my life.
>>> and sometimes we laugh about it. what else can you do, really?
>> hi
>
> hi. how you?
wired. edgy
(wanna purge but we being good and trying to not exercise anymore either)
how you?
cometz
wired. edgy. crackly. pointy edges. clenching teeth a lot. legs not
still. someone wants to bang head on wall. not good. won't do it.
good you not purging or excercising. how you getting thru?
i think i'm going to have to take xanax. fourth nite in a row. not
good. visit of brthr was very bad. too much. can't get back. got
stuck.
what do you do when it gets like this? have walked nora. have had
glass wine with friends. have been out and doing. still desire to bang
and bang. hating and tired of hating and tired of tired and all
crackly and dark eyes.
astri
> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
> and see that it is just my life.
:(
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================
astri
is good to be able to see the absurdity of life
(there's lots of it)
cometz
yeah.
cometz
yes. can laugh. then when tired shadow lays down over us is just
exhausted anguish.
head hurts. sometimes laughing makes head hurt. don't understand
that. think it means i'm bad to be hurt by laughing.
astri
> wired. edgy. crackly. pointy edges. clenching teeth a lot. legs not
> still. someone wants to bang head on wall. not good. won't do it.
>
> good you not purging or excercising. how you getting thru?
>
> i think i'm going to have to take xanax. fourth nite in a row. not
> good. visit of brthr was very bad. too much. can't get back. got
> stuck.
yuck
> what do you do when it gets like this? have walked nora. have had
> glass wine with friends. have been out and doing. still desire to bang
> and bang. hating and tired of hating and tired of tired and all
> crackly and dark eyes.
hard to get through without doing something to relieve the pressure
hard when the most powerful pressure relievers are si
confuzzled
> On Oct 29, 11:59 pm, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>
> wrote:
>> cometz wrote:
>>> On Oct 29, 11:50 pm, confuzzled <nospamsometimesknownas...@gmail.com>
>>> wrote:
>>>> cometz wrote:
>>>>> On Oct 29, 11:26 pm, cometz <comet...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
>>>>>> and see that it is just my life.
>>>>> and sometimes we laugh about it. what else can you do, really?
>>>> hi
>>> hi. how you?
>> wired. edgy
>> (wanna purge but we being good and trying to not exercise anymore either)
>>
>> how you?
>
> wired. edgy. crackly. pointy edges. clenching teeth a lot. legs not
> still. someone wants to bang head on wall. not good. won't do it.
>
> good you not purging or excercising. how you getting thru?
>
well.. we did exercise some. had too! played some with pup. rowdy play.
dunno... think we lost track of time. now we tired. don't think we did
anything... just disconnected for a bit?
> i think i'm going to have to take xanax. fourth nite in a row. not
> good. visit of brthr was very bad. too much. can't get back. got
> stuck.
regrets. he hasn't been gone long though. you'll get unstuck
>
> what do you do when it gets like this? have walked nora. have had
> glass wine with friends. have been out and doing. still desire to bang
> and bang. hating and tired of hating and tired of tired and all
> crackly and dark eyes.
sometimes we try to channel the energy. clean or stack wood or something
like that. tonight we exercised. sometimes is too much mad I guess and
oscar comes out and does the anger brick or throwing ice into the bath
tub. lately we been using music a lot. can step inside the music. can
let it pour out that way
regrets is such a hard time
confuzzled
<sigh>
wish there was some way the laughter could carry into the anguish
astri
> On Oct 30, 12:42 am, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>> On Thu, 29 Oct 2009, cometz wrote:
>>> On Oct 29, 11:26 pm, cometz <comet...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
>>>> and see that it is just my life.
>>
>>> and sometimes we laugh about it. what else can you do, really?
>>
>> is good to be able to see the absurdity of life
>> (there's lots of it)
>
> exhausted anguish.
know we're really in trouble when we can't find the absurdity
> head hurts. sometimes laughing makes head hurt. don't understand
> that. think it means i'm bad to be hurt by laughing.
don't think so
confuzzled
> On Thu, 29 Oct 2009, cometz wrote:
>> On Oct 30, 12:42 am, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>>> On Thu, 29 Oct 2009, cometz wrote:
>>>> On Oct 29, 11:26 pm, cometz <comet...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
>>>>> and see that it is just my life.
>>>
>>>> and sometimes we laugh about it. what else can you do, really?
>>>
>>> is good to be able to see the absurdity of life
>>> (there's lots of it)
>>
>> yes. can laugh. then when tired shadow lays down over us is just
>> exhausted anguish.
>
> know we're really in trouble when we can't find the absurdity
yes
jill
astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>On Thu, 29 Oct 2009, cometz wrote:
>
>> wired. edgy. crackly. pointy edges. clenching teeth a lot. legs not
>> still. someone wants to bang head on wall. not good. won't do it.
>>
>> good you not purging or excercising. how you getting thru?
>>
>> i think i'm going to have to take xanax. fourth nite in a row. not
>> good. visit of brthr was very bad. too much. can't get back. got
>> stuck.
>
>yuck
>
>> what do you do when it gets like this? have walked nora. have had
>> glass wine with friends. have been out and doing. still desire to bang
>> and bang. hating and tired of hating and tired of tired and all
>> crackly and dark eyes.
>
>hard to get through without doing something to relieve the pressure
>hard when the most powerful pressure relievers are si
>
>-- astri
Maybe try something positive that uses energy? Like washing walls
or hand washing kitchen floor or getting firewood ready.
Maybe try something positive that channels energy like sitting
quietly and mindfully.
Sometimes we needed to use up extra energy with big motions, sometimes
that made it worse. Sometimes we needed to re-route energy with
self hypnosis stuff, sometimes that made it worse.
For us it was all about energy needing to be dealt with in some form
or another. It was just tricky trying to decide what to do with it
that would work and not make it bigger/more stuck.
Rainbow Colors (Jill)
--
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The colors blend, the edges soften. Swirling and mixing
we are becoming white light.
ji...@tuells.org
gathring
> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
> and see that it is just my life.
you sure it isn't bad drugs. i think my life is.
--
paradoxically, only when we can acknowledge how powerless we were are we
actually able to take power appropriately now -- emerging butterfly
confuzzled
> cometz wrote:
>> i feel like i have taken a mix of very bad drugs. then i look behind
>> and see that it is just my life.
>
> you sure it isn't bad drugs. i think my life is.
>
gathring
Momentarily. Life is far too busy, but I think we like it that way,
keeps us from getting caught up in the past.
confuzzled
heh, understand that
except at some point we run out energy. then the past catches up and we
don't have much energy for coping with it. hope that doesn't happen to you
gathring
not seeming to be out of energy right now, but the past always catches
up eventually. holidays always seem to see the worst of it.
miss lots of people right now. want to hide, not deal with the chaos
that seems to come with the season. will be over soon enough.