At J's now
Emerging Butterfly
is back....kinda
key sorta lost so waiting for apt building to call back been waiting
for a bit for that
thanks much for all the support while i was gone
am imminently grateful to J who certainly helped keep me sane and
determined to live in the face of an ev*l facet of C's very clear and
pronounced hurt and confusion
saw Jane today
think can work with her for a bit
thanks again all for being here
open to any inquiries or updates or what have you
will work to be here in whatever capacity is possible
have missed you all and certainly ridden on waves of your support
wept when read some of some of your replies
cometz
very gladhappy that you are safe. very relieved that you are with J.
she is very fine friend and also understands the important stuff.
hope you can lean towards your own caring.
betsy
astri
> hihi
> is back....kinda
> key sorta lost so waiting for apt building to call back been waiting
> for a bit for that
oops
> thanks much for all the support while i was gone
> am imminently grateful to J who certainly helped keep me sane and
> determined to live in the face of an ev*l facet of C's very clear and
> pronounced hurt and confusion
yes!
> saw Jane today
different from jane from the organization?
> think can work with her for a bit
k
> thanks again all for being here
> open to any inquiries or updates or what have you
> will work to be here in whatever capacity is possible
> have missed you all and certainly ridden on waves of your support
> wept when read some of some of your replies
welcome back
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================
Emerging Butterfly
> betsy- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
Thank you. She has been enormous friend and shows a clear contrast
between healthy and the unhealth I have tried to bury myself in.
Buried in darkness, her presence is a calm, steady, and unwavering
light.
So often, asd serves as this for me as well.
Emerging Butterfly
ubiquity
hi!
--
-ubiquity
Emerging Butterfly
> > hihi
> > is back....kinda
> > key sorta lost so waiting for apt building to call back been waiting
> > for a bit for that
>
> oops
just to make it more fun, the management has changed and the emergency
number given is no longer valid. yippee! i may need to stay at J's
until monday. *monday* because of the h*liday weekend. i love her but
i do think we would both be delighted for me to get home. :P
>
> > thanks much for all the support while i was gone
> > am imminently grateful to J who certainly helped keep me sane and
> > determined to live in the face of an ev*l facet of C's very clear and
> > pronounced hurt and confusion
>
> yes!
>
> > saw Jane today
>
> different from jane from the organization?
much
very much a different jane
not much empathy to precisely draw me in :P
very good at depr*gramming though
sees this is all as life-and d*ath and wants to plan out sessions well
>
> > think can work with her for a bit
>
> k
>
> > thanks again all for being here
> > open to any inquiries or updates or what have you
> > will work to be here in whatever capacity is possible
> > have missed you all and certainly ridden on waves of your support
> > wept when read some of some of your replies
>
> welcome back
thanks!
confuzzled
hi :) really really glad you back and ok
astri
> On Nov 25, 9:20 pm, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>> On Wed, 25 Nov 2009, Emerging Butterfly wrote:
>>> hihi
>>> is back....kinda
>>> key sorta lost so waiting for apt building to call back been waiting
>>> for a bit for that
>>
>> oops
>
> just to make it more fun, the management has changed and the emergency
> number given is no longer valid. yippee! i may need to stay at J's
> until monday. *monday* because of the h*liday weekend. i love her but
> i do think we would both be delighted for me to get home. :P
:P~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>> saw Jane today
>>
>> different from jane from the organization?
>
> much
> very much a different jane
good
> not much empathy to precisely draw me in :P
> very good at depr*gramming though
> sees this is all as life-and d*ath and wants to plan out sessions well
it is!
Emerging Butterfly
wrote:
>
> - Show quoted text -
hello there :)
thank you for gladness on my behalf
am very much alive and kicking
Emerging Butterfly
<emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
dey will let us in sometime tomorrow :)
um, any ideas on how to stay away from bad sites?
and a question from jane on the other "jane":
what did the other "jane" *do*?
was other "jane" maybe c*lt involved?
what did she do that this jane should avoid?
we dont' *think* other jane was c*lt involved but we think some of the
damages were big and led us into more self-destructive stuff
and some emotional dynamics similar?
and lately think it not matter if she really *ab*sed* us in ways we
suspected or not
cuz big damage done either way
but then feel big bad for saying that
like she tried and was jsut flawed but some stuff....
umm
so reality checks
what did other jane do?
and not do?
and why so devastated by her?
what's my prob anyway?
confuzzled
good!
astri
other jane bad boundaries
encouraged switching and crisis by being most interested in that
had multiple relationships with you
didn't have regular sessions, used sessions as rewards/punishments
made secrets with you (like don't tell we doing tpy)
Shiyiya
> hihi
> is back....kinda
> key sorta lost so waiting for apt building to call back been waiting
> for a bit for that
> thanks much for all the support while i was gone
> am imminently grateful to J who certainly helped keep me sane and
> determined to live in the face of an ev*l facet of C's very clear and
> pronounced hurt and confusion
> saw Jane today
> think can work with her for a bit
hope she can help lots.
> thanks again all for being here
> open to any inquiries or updates or what have you
> will work to be here in whatever capacity is possible
> have missed you all and certainly ridden on waves of your support
> wept when read some of some of your replies
glad you're back and okay. missed you.
Shiyiya
Your only problem is that horrible people have decided to victimise you.
No fault of your own. I can't really answer about what that jane did
because I wasn't here then, though.
scattered
Emerging Butterfly
> On Nov 25, 10:55 pm, Emerging Butterfly
thanks! we meet person to let us into our apt in an hour so yay. then
we just savor own apt for awhile, hopefully sans much destructo stuff
online, then we spend of day with J making meal (nontraditional and
being decidedly petulant and ungrateful :P)
Tired and may be more in mood to be alone today.
baby-sitting business of ours picking up. :)
Shiyiya
> On Nov 26, 2:04 am, scattered <still.scatte...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> On Nov 25, 10:55 pm, Emerging Butterfly
>
>
> thanks! we meet person to let us into our apt in an hour so yay. then
> we just savor own apt for awhile, hopefully sans much destructo stuff
> online, then we spend of day with J making meal (nontraditional and
> being decidedly petulant and ungrateful :P)
*giggles*
I spent the morning baking. My Golden Pull-Apart Butter Buns came out
looking right, but I'm not sure how edible the Honey Wheat Rolls are....
Ah well.
> Tired and may be more in mood to be alone today.
> baby-sitting business of ours picking up. :)
:)
Glad to see you back.
astri
> thanks! we meet person to let us into our apt in an hour so yay. then
> we just savor own apt for awhile, hopefully sans much destructo stuff
> online, then we spend of day with J making meal (nontraditional and
> being decidedly petulant and ungrateful :P)
oops
> Tired and may be more in mood to be alone today.
understandable
> baby-sitting business of ours picking up. :)
cool
ubiquity
> On Wed, 25 Nov 2009, Emerging Butterfly wrote:
>> umm
>> so reality checks
>>
>> what did other jane do?
>> and not do?
>> and why so devastated by her?
>> what's my prob anyway?
>
> other jane bad boundaries
> encouraged switching and crisis by being most interested in that
> had multiple relationships with you
What's that?
> didn't have regular sessions, used sessions as rewards/punishments
Sounds like end of agency visits for us.
--
-ubiquity
astri
> On 2009-11-26, astri wrote...
>> had multiple relationships with you
>
> What's that?
more than just t
was also residential supervisor
ubiquity
> On Thu, 26 Nov 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>> On 2009-11-26, astri wrote...
>
>>> had multiple relationships with you
>>
>> What's that?
>
> more than just t
> was also residential supervisor
Ok.
--
-ubiquity
cometz
<emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> On Nov 26, 12:01 am, Emerging Butterfly
>
> <emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> dey will let us in sometime tomorrow :)
> um, any ideas on how to stay away from bad sites?
don't know how child blocks on net sites work but maybe j can set up
blocks and make password you don't know so no one can access them?
don't know if this is a good or bad idea, thruthfully. might trigger
escalation to scarier behaviors. maybe ask t?
any sites or listservs set up for supporting folks trying to manage
these things? like AA type things. some place to go instead of the
scary places but where whoever needs to can talk about needs and
desires and be understood and supported for safety.
don't know at all, just trying to think of practical substitutions.
> and a question from jane on the other "jane":
>
other jane was dangerously manipulative. very into punishment and
rescue. very distorted and frankly creepy boundaries. shut you out
when displeased. was a very sick and bad personality. not able to
model healthy behavior. replicated behavior of your foo. you only
rated her attention when you did as she needed you to do. and her need
wasn't about your health, was about her sickness. she created
atmosphere at agency where you felt worried and frightened about how
others there saw and treated you based on her, which means she was
probably having distorted boundaries with all people. terrible dynamic
for doing healing work. client spends all their time trying figure out
how to make tpst like them and be nice. is very twisted and broken and
wrong wrong wrong.
betsy
Emerging Butterfly
*smiles*
hihi!
Shiyiya
> On Nov 26, 2:12 am, Emerging Butterfly
> <emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> On Nov 26, 12:01 am, Emerging Butterfly
>>
>> <emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> dey will let us in sometime tomorrow :)
>> um, any ideas on how to stay away from bad sites?
>
> don't know how child blocks on net sites work but maybe j can set up
> blocks and make password you don't know so no one can access them?
I walked someone through setting up blocking of sites before and then it
had to be undone because the destructive ones were just finding even
worse sites :/
Don't know ideas. Find soemthing else to do on nets? I read lots of
blogs. Feminist and social justice stuff mostly.
ubiquity
> On Nov 26, 2:12?am, Emerging Butterfly
><emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> On Nov 26, 12:01?am, Emerging Butterfly
>>
>> <emerging.butter...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> dey will let us in sometime tomorrow :)
>> um, any ideas on how to stay away from bad sites?
>
> don't know how child blocks on net sites work but maybe j can set up
> blocks and make password you don't know so no one can access them?
> don't know if this is a good or bad idea, thruthfully. might trigger
> escalation to scarier behaviors. maybe ask t?
These is a program for Windows called Microsoft Family Safety, or
something like that. It has a bad site blocklist thru them by what they
determine to be unsafe, or it can block everything and an admin account
can authorize sites as they're requested. Can be done over the internet
too. Don't know if that's too draconian for this though. We have it on
the computer we let slunkette use so she can still play a couple flash
games. We only have those sites authorized. Everything else is blocked.
Can also whitelist IM's, e-mails and such or blacklist them too.
Is free to licensed copies of Windows.
--
-ubiquity
ubiquity
> On Nov 25, 10:31?pm, ubiquity <ubiqu...@cryptobug.com> wrote:
>> hi!
>
> *smiles*
> hihi!
:) Made her smile.
--
-ubiquity