exhaustion? about writing
Mourning Dove
> > hello
> >
> > *oh* *turning the head to the cd-player* *shaking the head*
> > thought I put in the cd with the soft Irish songs by Jan & Ilse
> but obviously
> > Punk and/or Terry felt more like G*ano Apes. oh well *shrug*
> >
> > hm. maybe we should send the f*there a copy of "open your eyes"?
> *scratching
> > the head*
> >
> > ahem, that wasn't what I had in mind when I opened this post. see,
> there is a
> > short story I want to be working on - or rather - I am already
> working on it
> > - got a rough sketch in my notebook - am thinking/dreaming about
> it for days
> > now - but I never ever make it to the desk with this.
> >
> > it's not that anybody is trying to keep me from doing it. I guess,
> we are
> > still too exhausted and feeling too raw. I cannot make it to the
> desk as I
> > cannot make it to the state of mind/being I need for my writing
> (aside: it
> > seems Fletcher isn't that complicated and oversensitive when he's
> writing. he
> > just seems to do it, no matter what. but maybe that's just as much
> as I get
> > from the outside - sorry for the detour). this peculiar kind of
> feeling -
> > like there's just me, the screen, the keyboard, a flow, a steady
> stream of
> > images, emotions, thoughts, and, finally, words. often it feels
> more like the
> > words are at my fingertips than on my tongue or in my mind. in
> some respects,
> > I guess, this resembles the way I draw and paint: I open a secret
> door which
> > leads to a secret passage linking whatever holds my creativity
> with my hands.
> > I become nothing more than the inbetween, the means the images,
> the emotions
> > and thoughts need to be reborn in a flow of words, the rhythm of
> language.
> > when I can write like this, I am. I am truly and fully me. Mashora
> - the
> > material body of the text (I do love my name :-).
> >
> > For a long time, I haven't been close to this state. When we
> worked on the
> > translation most of January, that was the closest I got -
> translating is like
> > writing, only I use someone else's and not my own creativity as
> the source.
> > Then we were ill (inbetween Fletcher wrote another short story
> which I helped
> > rewriting), then all the other things including the session with
> the f*there
> > and E*ster happened. I am sorry to be so repetetive (the
> spelling's wrong,
> > but I cannot remember the correct one right now), I am searching
> my way back
> > to _my_ life, it seems. And I also start to realize, while I was
> also
> > involved in a lot of things which happened during the last months
> (including
> > learning sign language, several public readings - how could I
> forget about
> > these?), while I felt like I was responsible, like I had to be
> responsible -
> > I wasn't half as much there, half as much responsible, half as
> much involved
> > as I thought. And also involved, present, there, in my own way -
> lots of my
> > life is spent collecting bits and pieces, observing, taking in,
> starting all
> > sorts of transformations with those collectibles from reality in
> order to
> > turn them into whatever artworks suit them, whatever artwork finds
> them
> > suitable. Of course, I don't need to be the one in charge when I
> do all this,
> > passenger seat does perfectly fit, too.
> >
> > Anyway, you know what the reason is I am writing all this (and I
> hope I am
> > not stealing your precious time)? I longed to be me. I longed to
> feel my
> > fingertips gliding over the keyboard. I longed to write even if I
> cannot
> > start the story I want to write tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning, I
> hope so,
> > but I wouldn't bet on it.
> >
> > Thanks for letting me be here and be what I am.
> >
> > Mashora
> >
> > p.s. you know what I am going to write about? about a woman who
> has
> > hate-love-relationship with her body. seems fitting. but I cannot
> tell you
> > why. I forgot the reason. which seems a bit like hope for the
> story - cuz I
> > don't reasons when I truly write. ;-)
> >
I enjoyed reading this very much, Mashora, and didn't want to snip or
interrupt a single sentence. What a beautiful description of how the
creative process works for you....I sense an exhilarating sense of
freedom in it for you. I do hope you start your story soon, and that
you will tell more about it.....the topic is of great interest to me.
dove
--
For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:
he...@anon.twwells.com -- for an automatically returned help message
ad...@anon.twwells.com -- for the service's administrator
ano...@anon.twwells.com -- anonymous mail to the administrator
mischa bach
dunno why today its easier to stay upfront than to go back insude so I end up
replying to posts which weren't really written to me but to others in this
bunch. just wanted to say you made mashora smile happy I think when she got
this mail.
also the story got written. I think its complicated and triggery but then, I
aint a writer anyway. ;-)
thanks on behalf of mashora
terry
Ravensong
speaking of replying to posts that aren't written to me. :-)
just one comment, down below in-between...
>dunno why today its easier to stay upfront than to go back insude so I end up
>replying to posts which weren't really written to me but to others in this
>bunch. just wanted to say you made mashora smile happy I think when she got
>this mail.
>also the story got written. I think its complicated and triggery but then, I
>aint a writer anyway. ;-)
i think that you're full of feeling, and express yourself very well in writing.
there's all kinds of writing, and you do yours the best. *smile*
diane, of Ravensong
>thanks on behalf of mashora
>terry
>
>On Sat, 6 Apr 2002 19:23:05 +0000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you feel bad, blow bubble stuff or watch the snails after it rains. That
always makes me feel better."
- Katy, of Ravensong
mischa bach
On 16 Apr 2002 02:04:36 GMT, Ravensong wrote:
>hey terry,
>speaking of replying to posts that aren't written to me. :-)
Punk says thats the good thing bout ng's like this one. :-)
>just one comment, down below in-between...
kay
>>dunno why today its easier to stay upfront than to go back insude so I >>end up replying to posts which weren't really written to me but to >>others in this bunch. just wanted to say you made mashora smile >>happy I think when she got this mail.
>>also the story got written. I think its complicated and triggery but then, >>I aint a writer anyway. ;-)
>
>i think that you're full of feeling, and express yourself very well in >writing. there's all kinds of writing, and you do yours the best. *smile*
*blush*
okay if you think me feeling and writing bout feelings makes me a writer,
thats right. but I aint no writer who comes up with stories and really works
on language and all that. thats beyond me. but then there are others in this
bunch who are really good at this. ;-9
oh, and I like reading lots. hehe I picked my name from two books or rather
one book and a series of books. *g*
so I like sharin the body with writers/storytellers even if I dont
like/understand all of what they come up with. *g*
terry