more (making up for the days of not being here?)
EB
apartment.
something about the broken stuff makes me think....um. no, it can't be
an alter would do it without my knowing. i know what happens every
minute. i'm just being overdramatic.
and the sa advocate from years ago and i are talking some more in
depth about what my life has been like.
and um.
i got up looked around. and an alter said, "um, i need help."
said, "i know....but i don't know where i could get that right now,
who i could talk to this time of night."
it used to be the therapist's organization. i would call them when the
night got too scary and talk with someone.
then it was going to virginia.
then it was steven? and the therapeutic community?
i'm alone now. maybe more alone than i've ever been in this living
situation.
and i need help. i need help.
i need a place to call late at night when it's all too frightening.
EB
now the meds are kicking in and i'll sleep. maybe that's what life is
all abour right now? waiting for the meds to kick in so i can sleep?
astri
are there any decent phone services there?
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================
EB
not really, no. J and I have both tried a couple of em. hit and miss.
she said we can call her any time of the night though. she said she
gets back to sleep easily and right away.
she's a good friend.
tonight we just took the seroquil earlier than usual in hopes we can
avoid the whole crisis.
we need our therapist to come back. um, now! :)
astri
> On Jul 8, 10:05 pm, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>> On Wed, 8 Jul 2009, EB wrote:
>>> um. so was just getting set to go to bed. got up -- looked around the
>>> apartment.
>>> something about the broken stuff makes me think....um. no, it can't be
>>> an alter would do it without my knowing. i know what happens every
>>> minute. i'm just being overdramatic.
>>> and the sa advocate from years ago and i are talking some more in
>>> depth about what my life has been like.
>>> and um.
>>> i got up looked around. and an alter said, "um, i need help."
>>> said, "i know....but i don't know where i could get that right now,
>>> who i could talk to this time of night."
>>> it used to be the therapist's organization. i would call them when the
>>> night got too scary and talk with someone.
>>> then it was going to virginia.
>>> then it was steven? and the therapeutic community?
>>
>>> i'm alone now. maybe more alone than i've ever been in this living
>>> situation.
>>> and i need help. i need help.
>>> i need a place to call late at night when it's all too frightening.
>>
>> are there any decent phone services there?
>
> she said we can call her any time of the night though. she said she
> gets back to sleep easily and right away.
> she's a good friend.
> tonight we just took the seroquil earlier than usual in hopes we can
> avoid the whole crisis.
> we need our therapist to come back. um, now! :)
is good you have j
Emerging Butterfly
yes, is very good. some of the stuff she says frightens us -- like her
suspicions that stuff happened with steven that we blocked, or the
idea we aren't very co-aware.
but she's gentle and a good friend. and helpful and honest and
just....neat.
:)
astri
> On Jul 8, 11:24 pm, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>>
>> is good you have j
>
> her suspicions that stuff happened with steven that we blocked, or
> the idea we aren't very co-aware.
it does seem like you're not as co-aware as would be good to be
> but she's gentle and a good friend. and helpful and honest and
> just....neat.
> :)
:)
Emerging Butterfly
> On Wed, 8 Jul 2009, Emerging Butterfly wrote:
> > On Jul 8, 11:24 pm, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>
> >> is good you have j
>
> > yes, is very good. some of the stuff she says frightens us -- like
> > her suspicions that stuff happened with steven that we blocked, or
> > the idea we aren't very co-aware.
>
> it does seem like you're not as co-aware as would be good to be
hmm. do we seem un coaware enough that steven coulda done something i
literally have no idea about or recollection of? i don't mean just
*me* -- i mean all the me that has presented here might not know?
astri
> hmm. do we seem un coaware enough that steven coulda done something i
> literally have no idea about or recollection of? i don't mean just
> *me* -- i mean all the me that has presented here might not know?
really don't know that
Emerging Butterfly
> On Thu, 9 Jul 2009, Emerging Butterfly wrote:
> > hmm. do we seem un coaware enough that steven coulda done something i
> > literally have no idea about or recollection of? i don't mean just
> > *me* -- i mean all the me that has presented here might not know?
>
> really don't know that
i tend, i guess, to trust J's perceptions on this one some, because
she's talked with me so much on the phone and she checked on me a bit
when I was at steven's and noticed things.
but i do remember her checking on me. i do. and i remember talking to
her and telling her things were okay.
i remember that.
but she's around me a lot a lot, and i don't think she'd make up that
we seem really un co-aware or that some of us seem very very
traumatized by steven.
i don't know.
astri
> On Jul 9, 12:40 pm, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>> On Thu, 9 Jul 2009, Emerging Butterfly wrote:
>>> hmm. do we seem un coaware enough that steven coulda done something
>>> i literally have no idea about or recollection of? i don't mean
>>> just *me* -- i mean all the me that has presented here might not
>>> know?
>>
>> really don't know that
>
> i tend, i guess, to trust J's perceptions on this one some, because
> she's talked with me so much on the phone and she checked on me a bit
> when I was at steven's and noticed things. but i do remember her
> checking on me. i do. and i remember talking to her and telling her
> things were okay. i remember that. but she's around me a lot a lot,
> and i don't think she'd make up that we seem really un co-aware or
> that some of us seem very very traumatized by steven. i don't know.
k
could some of that traumatization be re-enactment of earlier
relationships?
EB
absolutely.