Re: "Coming out"
fuzzy
> x-no-archive: yes
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> Hi!
>
> Kinda update, some of the stuff I've originally spoilered for still there,
> but the new stuff would probably be less much in need of spoilering
> in fact.
>
> Hannah <hu47121...@usenet.kitty.sub.org> wrote:
>> Spoiler for some specific kind of sp*r*tuality one might count as
>> alternative, for mention various type of ab*se (not really with details,
>> especially not graphic ones). I guess no splats or not many, let's
>> see. A few specific sra trigger mentions (not graphic) *are* splatted.
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>> Sub-spoiler to specify a bit more what the sp*r*t*ality stuff is about
>> so you can choose more specifically:
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>> It's about k*b*l*h (a,a,a), some details mentioned perhaps, mention of
>> t*r*t (a,o).
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> Just a few bits of what happened thereafter...
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<....>
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>> Now, that's most of that "outing".
>
>> The consequence is: Things are more "real". I seem to be closer to
>> feelings (and to some triggers *sigh*). The division between the
>> "world" where I've been through those various kinds of abuse (and thus
>> have consequences thereof - or rather: may *feel* them - and thus,
>> eventually *process* them), and the world where I've "not" been through
>> the abuse, i.e. the world of denial and mere functioning, at the cost of
>> not feeling, of losing part of myself/ourselves, that division has
>> become less.
>
>> Sometimes it's quite painful. But OTOH, it seems to be more vivid.
>
> Was a bit more remote now that I'm at my gf's, but a bit more close now
> that I'm revisiting this thread (and I'm keeping it marked unread as I
> might peruse it for my diary, I hope more sooner than later).
>
think that's a good idea
>> [...]
>
>> And perhaps even some kind of "coming out" that at least some part of
>> me seems to feel some reality to some kind of (s)ra. *sigh* (Difficult
>> to get that sentence out. Still a struggle between [possible] reality,
>> pain and some degree of denial still being there.)
>
> Posting the ra related bits here took a bit of courage here too, even
> after already having done the step with the study group before. And a
> bit, too, talking about (at least part of) my spirituality.
>
yes. understand that. we thought it was a brave post
>> And that I'm closer to the reality of all this anyway. And that I'm
>> trying to take charge on my own a bit more instead of making myself too
>> dependent on t'pists whose cost coverage might be declined or whose
>> abilities might have limitations, regardless of how competent they
>> *are*, or whatever. Eventually not doing all that for some sense of
>> "duty" or some sense of "one should do this", "it's written in books,
>> in FAQs or whatever", but for the sense of *wanting* it myself,
>> of wanting to live? Regaining an own will? Hmmm.
>
> Dunno, still much to do with that. But still hope I'll manage something
> like that eventually... *sigh*
>
there is time
think sharing and being able to hold on to it some is big steps already