Rave and t today
Puddles
was confused for awhile. he not know who we were. he kept saying 'you
are different'. we kept trying to tell him who but cure not allowed us
to. so we kept making t try to guess.
finally, t figured it out. he scoot his chair up closer when he talk
with us. he listened and asked lots of questions. he even understanded
when we shook head cause we not did know big words.
at end t said thank you for coming out and talking to him. i thought
that was nice thing to say to rave.
oh ya, he was half hour late for session. made it hard to get settled.
thas it. he only asked if once about evl. t asked if he was back in
house. no, evl not back.
rave didnt know how to gets big so we could leave. had to ask t 3 times
to help be big. finally he understood and did a time line with us to go
forward and it helped.
but now worried for hope and lilpddle. lilpddle use to having lil time
with t. lil fraid everyone is leaving her and wanted to talk to t.
glad rave finally gots to be ok to talk to t. she talks funny too. she
talks different. with higher sometimes. is funny but kinda cute. we not
did know she talked like that.
k, done.
astri
> today, was first time rave really came out and talk to t all session.
> t was confused for awhile. he not know who we were. he kept saying
> 'you are different'. we kept trying to tell him who but cure not
> allowed us to. so we kept making t try to guess.
>
> finally, t figured it out. he scoot his chair up closer when he talk
> with us. he listened and asked lots of questions. he even
> understanded when we shook head cause we not did know big words.
>
> at end t said thank you for coming out and talking to him. i thought
> that was nice thing to say to rave.
>
> oh ya, he was half hour late for session. made it hard to get settled.
>
> thas it. he only asked if once about evl. t asked if he was back in
> house. no, evl not back.
good
> rave didnt know how to gets big so we could leave. had to ask t 3
> times to help be big. finally he understood and did a time line with
> us to go forward and it helped.
>
> but now worried for hope and lilpddle. lilpddle use to having lil
> time with t. lil fraid everyone is leaving her and wanted to talk to
> t.
lil can get time with t too
maybe next time
> glad rave finally gots to be ok to talk to t. she talks funny too.
> she talks different. with higher sometimes. is funny but kinda cute.
> we not did know she talked like that.
>
> k, done.
k
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
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======================
cometz
is good. maybe let t know that a few minutes needs to be given at the
end for lilpddle to be able to at least say hi. t used to do that, or
if no time he would tell kat that he would talk with her next time so
she knows he still aware of her and cares. maybe you can tell her she
gets some time next visit. or she can draw him a picture or write
something for him. just to reassure about connection.
t being late so much is very wrong. sorry. we think he needs to fix.
either make later appt. or be on time. our pdoc is always late,
chronically. for us is not big deal cause she only does meds. isn't
about us or needing time for talking. is short, catch up on how meds
working, get script, leave. but other her clients not happy. very not.
isn't really ok, except in special emergency or very bad traffic or
something out of person's control.
sorry. hope that isn't trigger. don't mean to. just think is not
fair.
betsy only not cause we all jumbled and not sticking together too well
astri
> betsy only not cause we all jumbled and not sticking together too
> well
hi
cometz
hi.
we going out soon for a hol. party at friends. are ppl we like and
also take care of their dogs. feel at home there. still won't stay
long cause not too good inside.
every day is all tension so much i realize the shoulders are scrunched
up and head is down. not feel good.
sorry. you didn't ask for that. is all that is on our mind these days.
makes us feel like big loser. sigh.
betsy
Emerging Butterfly
so glad she got to talk and hope others can keep connection with him
too.
and he needs to be on time. is this a chronic thing?
astri
> we going out soon for a hol. party at friends. are ppl we like and
> also take care of their dogs. feel at home there. still won't stay
> long cause not too good inside.
k
> every day is all tension so much i realize the shoulders are scrunched
> up and head is down. not feel good.
:(
> sorry. you didn't ask for that. is all that is on our mind these days.
> makes us feel like big loser. sigh.
is k you tell
confuzzled
> today, was first time rave really came out and talk to t all session. t
> was confused for awhile. he not know who we were. he kept saying 'you
> are different'. we kept trying to tell him who but cure not allowed us
> to. so we kept making t try to guess.
>
> finally, t figured it out. he scoot his chair up closer when he talk
> with us. he listened and asked lots of questions. he even understanded
> when we shook head cause we not did know big words.
>
> at end t said thank you for coming out and talking to him. i thought
> that was nice thing to say to rave.
>
> oh ya, he was half hour late for session. made it hard to get settled.
>
<sigh>
> thas it. he only asked if once about evl. t asked if he was back in
> house. no, evl not back.
>
good he's not back
> rave didnt know how to gets big so we could leave. had to ask t 3 times
> to help be big. finally he understood and did a time line with us to go
> forward and it helped.
>
> but now worried for hope and lilpddle. lilpddle use to having lil time
> with t. lil fraid everyone is leaving her and wanted to talk to t.
>
is hard to give everyone a turn maybe. we not even having people really
coming out with t yet, but seems like there's already worries about
people getting their turn
> glad rave finally gots to be ok to talk to t. she talks funny too. she
> talks different. with higher sometimes. is funny but kinda cute. we not
> did know she talked like that.
>
:)
> k, done.
thanks for sharing
Emerging Butterfly
can talk about all that hear. can even check in on your body from your
head to your toes and if there's that ache in your chest where it gets
lonely and sad and how it feels when the animals come close. it all
matters here. it does.
>
> betsy
cometz
thank you. i get tired of hearing the stuff in my head and then when i
put it out in public i begin to feel like i am wallowing and it adds
to all the bad feelings. don't want to only be complaining just this
year has gotten worse and worse on the outside and we are getting more
messed up inside so it is very hard to be other these days. do try.
did go to two nice party's yesterday and did have a good time. so i
guess i'm not wallowing really.
also extremely stressed about money. think i have to apply for food
stamps. feels shameful cause i look at body and think it can work and
function ok. but thinking does not. does not worse than ever. thinking
of trying to work in regular job, even part time, makes insiders get
wildly upset. work store one day a week and come home feeling like we
want to d*e. i know it is the right thing to not make us worse and is
ok to utilize program that helps but still feel like i should be more
healthy by now. increases that belief in being loser and being
hopeless.
is just a not very good year. maybe new one will be better. hoping.
betsy
cometz
yes. thank you for reminding. talking helps sometimes. helps relieve
some pressure.
have gone back to t. is ok. have to work some things out. but is good
decision. have talked recently about asd being the only place we can
exist and not feel fear of constant shame and rejection.
our ache in chest becomes unbearable pressure. wakes us up at night
gasping and frozen. is most terrible feeling. awake is only relief.
even with meds still have the pressure. like a boulder on our chest.
animals do help. they don't judge. they like our love. is relief.
betsy
astri
> thank you. i get tired of hearing the stuff in my head and then when i
> put it out in public i begin to feel like i am wallowing and it adds
> to all the bad feelings. don't want to only be complaining just this
> year has gotten worse and worse on the outside and we are getting more
> messed up inside so it is very hard to be other these days. do try.
> did go to two nice party's yesterday and did have a good time. so i
> guess i'm not wallowing really.
hard to tell from middle
from middle is forever
> also extremely stressed about money. think i have to apply for food
> stamps. feels shameful cause i look at body and think it can work and
> function ok. but thinking does not. does not worse than ever. thinking
> of trying to work in regular job, even part time, makes insiders get
> wildly upset. work store one day a week and come home feeling like we
> want to d*e. i know it is the right thing to not make us worse and is
> ok to utilize program that helps but still feel like i should be more
> healthy by now. increases that belief in being loser and being
> hopeless.
:(
those thoughts make it harder
(understand)
(keep whining that know the words just need to *do*)
> is just a not very good year. maybe new one will be better. hoping.
hope too
astri
> yes. thank you for reminding. talking helps sometimes. helps relieve
> some pressure.
yes
if you can
> have gone back to t. is ok. have to work some things out. but is good
> decision. have talked recently about asd being the only place we can
> exist and not feel fear of constant shame and rejection.
sigh
> our ache in chest becomes unbearable pressure. wakes us up at night
> gasping and frozen. is most terrible feeling. awake is only relief.
> even with meds still have the pressure. like a boulder on our chest.
sure is not health problem?
> animals do help. they don't judge. they like our love. is relief.
yes
confuzzled
> On Dec 12, 4:09 pm, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>> On Sat, 12 Dec 2009, cometz wrote:
>>> betsy only not cause we all jumbled and not sticking together too
>>> well
>> hi
>>
> hi.
>
> we going out soon for a hol. party at friends. are ppl we like and
> also take care of their dogs. feel at home there. still won't stay
> long cause not too good inside.
>
hope party was ok
> every day is all tension so much i realize the shoulders are scrunched
> up and head is down. not feel good.
>
regrets
> sorry. you didn't ask for that. is all that is on our mind these days.
> makes us feel like big loser. sigh.
>
we think you hurting
we think you sharing is good. think it can help you not have such big
feelings. helps us too. makes it more easy for us to maybe talk. also,
we cant read long big posts much right now but we can read yours
usually. gives us something to focus on.
Puddles
ya, t late is issue and he is very much know it gets me upset inside.
when i showed mad on outside about him being late, he got very defensive
and then we went through several weeks of little hiding behind a chair
afraid of t. t tries, i know he does, i know he cares about being on
time. I just think he has a busy life.
I think thats a good idea about telling t that lil needs to say a quick
second to say hi each session. I am not sure how to tell t, but I think
i want to try.
thanks jumble betsy who thought she was unsticking but, wrote a really
helpful post, as if she is *very* together. :)
Puddles
I like betsy! :)
Juniper
Puddles <allthe...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> ya, t late is issue and he is very much know it gets me upset inside.
> when i showed mad on outside about him being late, he got very defensive
> and then we went through several weeks of little hiding behind a chair
> afraid of t. t tries, i know he does, i know he cares about being on
> time. I just think he has a busy life.
It's his job to manage his time so that his busy life doesn't have an
impact on his time with his clients. It's unprofessional of him not to
do that.
Juniper
Puddles
HI HI HI Juniper. Today was cleaning basment and found a little box. it
was empty. it was in my special tub of things. lots of different things
in tub like pictures, baby shoes, stuff.. couldn't understand why i had
box.
looked at label.... it was from you! have the shells in magic wooden box
on my desk right next to my puter with t magic rock and magic clean
shells that cleansed my clothes when i got physical therapy. saved the
mailing box cause i rememember how special that someone is that would
take the time to send me gift of sense of safeness and cleanliness.
you are special juniper. your act of kindness will always be very very
dear to me.
confuzzled
cometz wrote:
> On Dec 13, 12:58 am, astri <as...@invalid.invalid> wrote:
>> On Sat, 12 Dec 2009, cometz wrote:
>>> we going out soon for a hol. party at friends. are ppl we like and
>>> also take care of their dogs. feel at home there. still won't stay
>>> long cause not too good inside.
>> k
>>
>>> every day is all tension so much i realize the shoulders are scrunched
>>> up and head is down. not feel good.
>> :(
>>
>>> sorry. you didn't ask for that. is all that is on our mind these days.
>>> makes us feel like big loser. sigh.
>> is k you tell
>>
> thank you. i get tired of hearing the stuff in my head and then when i
> put it out in public i begin to feel like i am wallowing and it adds
> to all the bad feelings. don't want to only be complaining just this
> year has gotten worse and worse on the outside and we are getting more
> messed up inside so it is very hard to be other these days. do try.
> did go to two nice party's yesterday and did have a good time. so i
> guess i'm not wallowing really.
>
we don't think you are
is maybe important to remember that "normal" people get depressed and
struggle when lots of life stuff happens.
> also extremely stressed about money. think i have to apply for food
> stamps. feels shameful cause i look at body and think it can work and
> function ok. but thinking does not. does not worse than ever. thinking
> of trying to work in regular job, even part time, makes insiders get
> wildly upset. work store one day a week and come home feeling like we
> want to d*e. i know it is the right thing to not make us worse and is
> ok to utilize program that helps but still feel like i should be more
> healthy by now. increases that belief in being loser and being
> hopeless.
<sigh>
>
> is just a not very good year. maybe new one will be better. hoping.
>
we also hope it will be better for you