Anxiety
ubiquity
slunkette infected the desktop computer she's allowed an hour a day on
with 112 malwares. Have to reinstall. Guess she knew something was wrong
because she chewed through the charging cable for our mp3 player. *sigh*
Won't be able to use that until the new cable comes around January
Eighth.
Baby cried all night. He wanted his m*m, but she was refusing to let him
sleep in bed with her, so he screamed at us from 11pm until an hour ago
when he fell asleep because she's up. She said she wouldn't let him
sleep there because she had work today and it would keep her up. She
stayed home from work anyways because his crying kept her awake. (she
says, we heard her snoring for quite some time last night)
Got two more text messages last night. Vague and didn't make any sense.
Scared us though. A little worried for session. Our t said she would
pick us up today because we are scared to wait outside for a bus. She
said she could drive us home if we want too. She's been concerned about
how we keep getting really lost and disoriented and losing time after
sessions. There's also another six inches of snow from last night.
Hope we can start feeling calmer soon.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
jill
ubiquity <ubiq...@aftertragedy.us> wrote:
>Lots and lots of anxiety the past sixteen hours or so. Yesterday,
>slunkette infected the desktop computer she's allowed an hour a day on
>with 112 malwares. Have to reinstall. Guess she knew something was wrong
>because she chewed through the charging cable for our mp3 player. *sigh*
>Won't be able to use that until the new cable comes around January
>Eighth.
Gak! Our kids have done similar. Of course they already know more
about computers than I do so it's worth it to let them 'experiment'.
>Baby cried all night. He wanted his m*m, but she was refusing to let him
:P~
>sleep in bed with her, so he screamed at us from 11pm until an hour ago
>when he fell asleep because she's up. She said she wouldn't let him
>sleep there because she had work today and it would keep her up. She
Hmm, then maybe he should sleep on his own regularly to be in the
habit.
>stayed home from work anyways because his crying kept her awake. (she
>says, we heard her snoring for quite some time last night)
Still probly not very restful sleep as I recall what it's like to
try to sleep while babies are yelling. At one point kidlette was up
often at night and the SO and I took turns dealing with her and
_allegedly_ the other one of us got to sleep. Not possible to actually
sleep while a baby is screaming though :P
>Got two more text messages last night. Vague and didn't make any sense.
>Scared us though. A little worried for session. Our t said she would
>pick us up today because we are scared to wait outside for a bus. She
>said she could drive us home if we want too. She's been concerned about
>how we keep getting really lost and disoriented and losing time after
>sessions. There's also another six inches of snow from last night.
>
>Hope we can start feeling calmer soon.
>
>(t)
>--
> -ubiquity constellation
We are getting the snow from you now. We have three to four inches on
the ground and it is still snowing. They keep extending the length of
time it will snow. It was supposedly going to end on Thurs and now
it might not end until Sunday. I figure we'll have about 10 inches by
the time it's done. Not too much for around here.
I really like your t'pist. I'm also very glad you can let her in and
let her help you. That is brave and strong of you all :)
Rainbow Colors (Jill)
--
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The colors blend, the edges soften. Swirling and mixing
we are becoming white light.
ji...@tuells.org
Hannibal
I hope you are feeling better today.
Peter
ubiquity
> Hi ubiquity constellation,
>
> I hope you are feeling better today.
>
> Peter
Thanks. Other than a little physical p*in in our arms, we are doing a
little better. Anxiety is down quite a bit right now.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> Lots and lots of anxiety the past sixteen hours or so. Yesterday,
> slunkette infected the desktop computer she's allowed an hour a day
> on with 112 malwares. Have to reinstall. Guess she knew something was
> wrong because she chewed through the charging cable for our mp3
> player. *sigh* Won't be able to use that until the new cable comes
> around January Eighth.
oops
> Baby cried all night. He wanted his m*m, but she was refusing to let
> him sleep in bed with her, so he screamed at us from 11pm until an
> hour ago when he fell asleep because she's up. She said she wouldn't
> let him sleep there because she had work today and it would keep her
> up. She stayed home from work anyways because his crying kept her
> awake. (she says, we heard her snoring for quite some time last
> night)
sigh
> Got two more text messages last night. Vague and didn't make any
> sense. Scared us though. A little worried for session. Our t said she
> would pick us up today because we are scared to wait outside for a
> bus. She said she could drive us home if we want too. She's been
> concerned about how we keep getting really lost and disoriented and
> losing time after sessions. There's also another six inches of snow
> from last night.
she's nice
> Hope we can start feeling calmer soon.
yes
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================
ubiquity
> On Wed, 23 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>
>> Lots and lots of anxiety the past sixteen hours or so. Yesterday,
>> slunkette infected the desktop computer she's allowed an hour a day
>> on with 112 malwares. Have to reinstall. Guess she knew something was
>> wrong because she chewed through the charging cable for our mp3
>> player. *sigh* Won't be able to use that until the new cable comes
>> around January Eighth.
>
> oops
Yeah, wish we could figure it out. Why she chews and eats non-foods.
>> Baby cried all night. He wanted his m*m, but she was refusing to let
>> him sleep in bed with her, so he screamed at us from 11pm until an
>> hour ago when he fell asleep because she's up. She said she wouldn't
>> let him sleep there because she had work today and it would keep her
>> up. She stayed home from work anyways because his crying kept her
>> awake. (she says, we heard her snoring for quite some time last
>> night)
>
> sigh
Is ok now. We got home a little while ago. Seems they've all napped. :)
>> Got two more text messages last night. Vague and didn't make any
>> sense. Scared us though. A little worried for session. Our t said she
>> would pick us up today because we are scared to wait outside for a
>> bus. She said she could drive us home if we want too. She's been
>> concerned about how we keep getting really lost and disoriented and
>> losing time after sessions. There's also another six inches of snow
>> from last night.
>
> she's nice
Yeah, it was an ok session. Talked like regular session while the pizza
was being delivered. The pizza place is upstairs. Then mostly stared at
the pizza and finally had some. Then vicki played rummikub with her
which was mostly good until someone inside panicked. Lots of p*in. It
was ok though, eventually. We were ok. We won the game, and we didn't
even have to do anything afterwards. She cleaned the office a little and
drove us home. It was ok. We are home now, and it is ok other than some
body p*ins. :)
>> Hope we can start feeling calmer soon.
>
> yes
Not so overwhelming anxiety right now.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2009-12-24, astri wrote...
>> On Wed, 23 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>
>>> Lots and lots of anxiety the past sixteen hours or so. Yesterday,
>>> slunkette infected the desktop computer she's allowed an hour a day
>>> on with 112 malwares. Have to reinstall. Guess she knew something
>>> was wrong because she chewed through the charging cable for our mp3
>>> player. *sigh* Won't be able to use that until the new cable comes
>>> around January Eighth.
>>
>> oops
>
> Yeah, wish we could figure it out. Why she chews and eats non-foods.
didn't you say she has some nutritional deficiencies?
>>> Baby cried all night. He wanted his m*m, but she was refusing to let
>>> him sleep in bed with her, so he screamed at us from 11pm until an
>>> hour ago when he fell asleep because she's up. She said she wouldn't
>>> let him sleep there because she had work today and it would keep her
>>> up. She stayed home from work anyways because his crying kept her
>>> awake. (she says, we heard her snoring for quite some time last
>>> night)
>>
>> sigh
>
> Is ok now. We got home a little while ago. Seems they've all napped. :)
k
>>> Got two more text messages last night. Vague and didn't make any
>>> sense. Scared us though. A little worried for session. Our t said she
>>> would pick us up today because we are scared to wait outside for a
>>> bus. She said she could drive us home if we want too. She's been
>>> concerned about how we keep getting really lost and disoriented and
>>> losing time after sessions. There's also another six inches of snow
>>> from last night.
>>
>> she's nice
>
> Yeah, it was an ok session. Talked like regular session while the pizza
> was being delivered. The pizza place is upstairs. Then mostly stared at
> the pizza and finally had some. Then vicki played rummikub with her
> which was mostly good until someone inside panicked. Lots of p*in. It
> was ok though, eventually. We were ok. We won the game, and we didn't
> even have to do anything afterwards. She cleaned the office a little and
> drove us home. It was ok. We are home now, and it is ok other than some
> body p*ins. :)
glad it was good
>>> Hope we can start feeling calmer soon.
>>
>> yes
>
> Not so overwhelming anxiety right now.
:)
ubiquity
> On Wed, 24 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>> Yeah, wish we could figure it out. Why she chews and eats non-foods.
>
> didn't you say she has some nutritional deficiencies?
Yeah, but still don't understand why a charge cable of all things.
>> Yeah, it was an ok session. Talked like regular session while the pizza
>> was being delivered. The pizza place is upstairs. Then mostly stared at
>> the pizza and finally had some. Then vicki played rummikub with her
>> which was mostly good until someone inside panicked. Lots of p*in. It
>> was ok though, eventually. We were ok. We won the game, and we didn't
>> even have to do anything afterwards. She cleaned the office a little and
>> drove us home. It was ok. We are home now, and it is ok other than some
>> body p*ins. :)
>
> glad it was good
Yes.
>> Not so overwhelming anxiety right now.
>
> :)
We maybe spoke too soon. Need to go lay down. Wife is eating the pizza
we brought home. Icky sounds. Not feeling ok anymore. *sigh*
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2009-12-24, astri wrote...
>> On Wed, 24 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>> Yeah, wish we could figure it out. Why she chews and eats non-foods.
>>
>> didn't you say she has some nutritional deficiencies?
>
> Yeah, but still don't understand why a charge cable of all things.
maybe ask t about it?
>>> Yeah, it was an ok session. Talked like regular session while the
>>> pizza was being delivered. The pizza place is upstairs. Then mostly
>>> stared at the pizza and finally had some. Then vicki played
>>> rummikub with her which was mostly good until someone inside
>>> panicked. Lots of p*in. It was ok though, eventually. We were ok.
>>> We won the game, and we didn't even have to do anything afterwards.
>>> She cleaned the office a little and drove us home. It was ok. We
>>> are home now, and it is ok other than some body p*ins. :)
>>
>> glad it was good
>
> Yes.
>
>>> Not so overwhelming anxiety right now.
>>
>> :)
>
> We maybe spoke too soon. Need to go lay down. Wife is eating the
> pizza we brought home. Icky sounds. Not feeling ok anymore. *sigh*
regrets
jill
ubiquity <ubiq...@aftertragedy.us> wrote:
>On 2009-12-24, astri wrote...
>> On Wed, 23 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>
>>> Lots and lots of anxiety the past sixteen hours or so. Yesterday,
>>> slunkette infected the desktop computer she's allowed an hour a day
>>> on with 112 malwares. Have to reinstall. Guess she knew something was
>>> wrong because she chewed through the charging cable for our mp3
>>> player. *sigh* Won't be able to use that until the new cable comes
>>> around January Eighth.
>>
>> oops
>
>Yeah, wish we could figure it out. Why she chews and eats non-foods.
You've had her tested for metabolic deficiency? For example, if you
find you are eating stuff like chalk it means you are deficient in
one thing. Can't remember exactly what though. Sometimes people chew
on stuff to relieve anxiety and/or because of tooth issues. Has she
been checked by a dentist? Maybe she has something going on that
chewing is relieving (like when babies teethe). And if it's anxiety
then talking to her and being reassuring about what is bugging her
might help.
Sounds like a great way to spend a session! :)
>>> Hope we can start feeling calmer soon.
>>
>> yes
>
>Not so overwhelming anxiety right now.
>
>(t)
>--
> -ubiquity constellation
Good.
ubiquity
it on to check for texts from our t. She sent one, we replied and waited
for her to reply back. During that ten minutes we had three calls from
local numbers we don't know. Texted t and said we were changing cell
numbers, and we'd call when they activated it. She said that's a good
idea. We're waiting for it now.
Lots of chest p*in today. We are really panicky about changing numbers.
*sigh* We are scared tonight. The neighbor across the hall moved out
today. Kind of wondering if it would be ok to get in that apartment for
the night. Just to have some rest from buzzes and ringing and fear.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> Much much anxiety tonight. Had phones shut off most of the day.
> Turned it on to check for texts from our t. She sent one, we replied
> and waited for her to reply back. During that ten minutes we had
> three calls from local numbers we don't know. Texted t and said we
> were changing cell numbers, and we'd call when they activated it. She
> said that's a good idea. We're waiting for it now.
hope no one gives out the new number
> Lots of chest p*in today. We are really panicky about changing
> numbers. *sigh* We are scared tonight. The neighbor across the hall
> moved out today. Kind of wondering if it would be ok to get in that
> apartment for the night. Just to have some rest from buzzes and
> ringing and fear.
:(
prolly not a good idea to go into the other apartment
if you got caught, they might kick you out of yours
ubiquity
> On Wed, 31 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>
>> Much much anxiety tonight. Had phones shut off most of the day.
>> Turned it on to check for texts from our t. She sent one, we replied
>> and waited for her to reply back. During that ten minutes we had
>> three calls from local numbers we don't know. Texted t and said we
>> were changing cell numbers, and we'd call when they activated it. She
>> said that's a good idea. We're waiting for it now.
>
> hope no one gives out the new number
Hope not either. T was saying yesterday, isn't helping someone's telling
them about sessions, said it's spinning the wheels. Can't get traction.
Our phone isn't reactivated yet. Can't call or send messages from it.
Having lots of anxiety. Wish we could call. Even if it activated right
now, probably too late to call. She doesn't have the new number yet or
anything. Probably wouldn't answer.
>> Lots of chest p*in today. We are really panicky about changing
>> numbers. *sigh* We are scared tonight. The neighbor across the hall
>> moved out today. Kind of wondering if it would be ok to get in that
>> apartment for the night. Just to have some rest from buzzes and
>> ringing and fear.
>
> :(
>
> prolly not a good idea to go into the other apartment
> if you got caught, they might kick you out of yours
Ok, yes. Could be. Most likely nobody from management works until monday
now, other than emergency maintenance. That's what the bulletin they
posted today said, but we probably shouldn't. We just want to feel safe.
Think being somewhere that feels safe would do that.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2009-12-31, astri wrote...
>> On Wed, 31 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>
>>> Much much anxiety tonight. Had phones shut off most of the day.
>>> Turned it on to check for texts from our t. She sent one, we
>>> replied and waited for her to reply back. During that ten minutes
>>> we had three calls from local numbers we don't know. Texted t and
>>> said we were changing cell numbers, and we'd call when they
>>> activated it. She said that's a good idea. We're waiting for it
>>> now.
>>
>> hope no one gives out the new number
>
> Hope not either. T was saying yesterday, isn't helping someone's
> telling them about sessions, said it's spinning the wheels. Can't get
> traction.
:(
> Our phone isn't reactivated yet. Can't call or send messages from it.
> Having lots of anxiety. Wish we could call. Even if it activated right
> now, probably too late to call. She doesn't have the new number yet or
> anything. Probably wouldn't answer.
would need to leave a message then
>>> Lots of chest p*in today. We are really panicky about changing
>>> numbers. *sigh* We are scared tonight. The neighbor across the hall
>>> moved out today. Kind of wondering if it would be ok to get in that
>>> apartment for the night. Just to have some rest from buzzes and
>>> ringing and fear.
>>
>> :(
>>
>> prolly not a good idea to go into the other apartment
>> if you got caught, they might kick you out of yours
>
> Ok, yes. Could be. Most likely nobody from management works until
> monday now, other than emergency maintenance. That's what the
> bulletin they posted today said, but we probably shouldn't. We just
> want to feel safe. Think being somewhere that feels safe would do
> that.
dunno
ubiquity
> On Wed, 31 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>> Our phone isn't reactivated yet. Can't call or send messages from it.
>> Having lots of anxiety. Wish we could call. Even if it activated right
>> now, probably too late to call. She doesn't have the new number yet or
>> anything. Probably wouldn't answer.
>
> would need to leave a message then
Phone company messed up. Didn't have service until 1pm today. Texted t
the new number, she called but we couldn't pick up. She left a
voicemail, but didn't say our name. Called her back, and she picked up.
We made a plan to stay safe for tonight. Hard. We are having very hard
times, but we aren't inpatient this year this day. Hope to not be.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> Phone company messed up. Didn't have service until 1pm today. Texted
> t the new number, she called but we couldn't pick up. She left a
> voicemail, but didn't say our name. Called her back, and she picked
> up. We made a plan to stay safe for tonight. Hard. We are having very
> hard times, but we aren't inpatient this year this day. Hope to not
> be.
you doing a good job then
jill
You have managed to stay not inpt a lot this year! I think that
is a great sign of progress. Of course if you need to go inpt then
you do so (not trying to say that inpt is wrong) but that you are
learning _other_ things to try before going inpt and using that
option less often is a sign of progress and growth. Reminds me of
a little kid. First they use crying cause that is all they know.
Then they use babbling and pointing and crying and then move to
talking and pointing and use crying less often as other skills
work better/faster. Baby steps :)
ubiquity
> On Thu, 1 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>
>> Phone company messed up. Didn't have service until 1pm today. Texted
>> t the new number, she called but we couldn't pick up. She left a
>> voicemail, but didn't say our name. Called her back, and she picked
>> up. We made a plan to stay safe for tonight. Hard. We are having very
>> hard times, but we aren't inpatient this year this day. Hope to not
>> be.
>
> you doing a good job then
Lots of work and we feel worse and worse. Blocked seven numbers from the
home phone today, after a long night of door buzzing. Buzzing today
around noon. We saw someone recognisable from the window. Called the
police again. They were delayed because of a backlog from last night,
but eventually came after a half hour of knocking and yelling at our
door. We turned the music up so loud we couldn't hear. Police said they
must have just missed him. They said call again if we need to. T called
us while he was at the door knocking and yelling. She heard him. Wife is
really freaked out. Think we might need to sit down with her and talk
finally when she's a little calmer. (She's ranting to her m*m on the
phone which always seems to help her. Glad she has support.) We are
watching the kids trying to stay calm while scared sh*tless.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
ubiquity
> In article <slrnhjr6kr....@asus.zero>,
> ubiquity <ubiq...@aftertragedy.us> wrote:
>>Phone company messed up. Didn't have service until 1pm today. Texted t
>>the new number, she called but we couldn't pick up. She left a
>>voicemail, but didn't say our name. Called her back, and she picked up.
>>We made a plan to stay safe for tonight. Hard. We are having very hard
>>times, but we aren't inpatient this year this day. Hope to not be.
>>
>>(t)
>
> is a great sign of progress. Of course if you need to go inpt then
> you do so (not trying to say that inpt is wrong) but that you are
> learning _other_ things to try before going inpt and using that
> option less often is a sign of progress and growth. Reminds me of
> a little kid. First they use crying cause that is all they know.
> Then they use babbling and pointing and crying and then move to
> talking and pointing and use crying less often as other skills
> work better/faster. Baby steps :)
>
> Rainbow Colors (Jill)
Think having a most knowledgeable t helps too. She knows what we think
about the hsptl, and she believes us we don't like it. Only once has she
asked us if we think we need it. She understands more that we do have
sui feeling everyday. She treats it like just another day, which is what
it is. Feels more respectable that way.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> Lots of work and we feel worse and worse. Blocked seven numbers from
> the home phone today, after a long night of door buzzing. Buzzing
> today around noon. We saw someone recognisable from the window.
> Called the police again. They were delayed because of a backlog from
> last night, but eventually came after a half hour of knocking and
> yelling at our door. We turned the music up so loud we couldn't hear.
> Police said they must have just missed him. They said call again if
> we need to. T called us while he was at the door knocking and
> yelling. She heard him. Wife is really freaked out. Think we might
> need to sit down with her and talk finally when she's a little
> calmer. (She's ranting to her m*m on the phone which always seems to
> help her. Glad she has support.) We are watching the kids trying to
> stay calm while scared sh*tless.
is scary stuff
wife knows that
seems police are taking this seriously
ubiquity
> On Fri, 1 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>
>> Lots of work and we feel worse and worse. Blocked seven numbers from
>> the home phone today, after a long night of door buzzing. Buzzing
>> today around noon. We saw someone recognisable from the window.
>> Called the police again. They were delayed because of a backlog from
>> last night, but eventually came after a half hour of knocking and
>> yelling at our door. We turned the music up so loud we couldn't hear.
>> Police said they must have just missed him. They said call again if
>> we need to. T called us while he was at the door knocking and
>> yelling. She heard him. Wife is really freaked out. Think we might
>> need to sit down with her and talk finally when she's a little
>> calmer. (She's ranting to her m*m on the phone which always seems to
>> help her. Glad she has support.) We are watching the kids trying to
>> stay calm while scared sh*tless.
>
> is scary stuff
So so scary. Want to run away.
> wife knows that
Yeah, she gave us a big hug because she knows how much we don't like
talking to police.
> seems police are taking this seriously
They are very busy today. Probably tired.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2010-01-01, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 1 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>
>>> Lots of work and we feel worse and worse. Blocked seven numbers
>>> from the home phone today, after a long night of door buzzing.
>>> Buzzing today around noon. We saw someone recognisable from the
>>> window. Called the police again. They were delayed because of a
>>> backlog from last night, but eventually came after a half hour of
>>> knocking and yelling at our door. We turned the music up so loud we
>>> couldn't hear. Police said they must have just missed him. They
>>> said call again if we need to. T called us while he was at the door
>>> knocking and yelling. She heard him. Wife is really freaked out.
>>> Think we might need to sit down with her and talk finally when
>>> she's a little calmer. (She's ranting to her m*m on the phone which
>>> always seems to help her. Glad she has support.) We are watching
>>> the kids trying to stay calm while scared sh*tless.
>>
>> is scary stuff
>
> So so scary. Want to run away.
think isn't any place to run from this :(
hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
think they just trying to terrify you
(and doing a good job)
:(
>> wife knows that
>
> Yeah, she gave us a big hug because she knows how much we don't like
> talking to police.
k
>> seems police are taking this seriously
>
> They are very busy today. Probably tired.
still good you called
ubiquity
> On Fri, 1 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>> So so scary. Want to run away.
>
> think isn't any place to run from this :(
That's what t said. She said if we took greyhound where we said we would
go it would only be temporary relief like c*tting is.
> hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
Think so. Hope so. No phone calls since this morning blocking seven more
phone numbers and with the changed cell number. Only people we've talked
to on the phone today are our t and our cousin.
Cousin said she's missing us. Said she wants to come visit next week.
She has a baby a little older than our baby. Would be fun for them.
Would be nice to see her again too.
> think they just trying to terrify you
> (and doing a good job)
> :(
Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently? Don't
these people have jobs?
T had asked us early on what the man did. Where he worked. We don't
know. He didn't seem to ever leave for work. T said from all we've told
her, it's likely he could afford what he could, house, cable, car, food,
everything, from selling the movies and bad things like that.
>>> wife knows that
>>
>> Yeah, she gave us a big hug because she knows how much we don't like
>> talking to police.
>
> k
>
>>> seems police are taking this seriously
>>
>> They are very busy today. Probably tired.
>
> still good you called
Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our mouth
to cops.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
Shiyiya
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 1 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> So so scary. Want to run away.
>> think isn't any place to run from this :(
>
> That's what t said. She said if we took greyhound where we said we would
> go it would only be temporary relief like c*tting is.
>
>> hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
>
> Think so. Hope so. No phone calls since this morning blocking seven more
> phone numbers and with the changed cell number. Only people we've talked
> to on the phone today are our t and our cousin.
>
> Cousin said she's missing us. Said she wants to come visit next week.
> She has a baby a little older than our baby. Would be fun for them.
> Would be nice to see her again too.
:)
>
>> think they just trying to terrify you
>> (and doing a good job)
>> :(
>
> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently? Don't
> these people have jobs?
might be employed by people like the man.
>
> T had asked us early on what the man did. Where he worked. We don't
> know. He didn't seem to ever leave for work. T said from all we've told
> her, it's likely he could afford what he could, house, cable, car, food,
> everything, from selling the movies and bad things like that.
Yuck :(
>
>>>> wife knows that
>>> Yeah, she gave us a big hug because she knows how much we don't like
>>> talking to police.
>> k
>>
>>>> seems police are taking this seriously
>>> They are very busy today. Probably tired.
>> still good you called
>
> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our mouth
> to cops.
>
> (t)
They told you not to because they knew that was something that could get
them in trouble. They're trying hard to sccare you because *they're*
scared of getting in trouble. Bullies are always scared. When you do
what they don't want you to anyway you're denying their power over you :)
jill
Yes, it's in layers or levels or something. There is the 'I think
about this every day *shrug*' level and then there is the 'ok,
I have x in my hand RIGHT THIS MINUTE' level and several inbetween
as well. It's good to have a t'pist who knows which level is serious
and which one is just the same old same old. That way you feel more
understood and able to tell her when the levels change.
For us it meant the different levels were more managable as well,
come to think of it. Having the t'pist freak out made it hard for
us to talk about it and not talking about it made it go up in
intensity sometimes.
astri
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 1 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> So so scary. Want to run away.
>>
>> think isn't any place to run from this :(
>
> That's what t said. She said if we took greyhound where we said we
> would go it would only be temporary relief like c*tting is.
yeah
sigh
>> hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
>
> Think so. Hope so. No phone calls since this morning blocking seven
> more phone numbers and with the changed cell number. Only people
> we've talked to on the phone today are our t and our cousin.
good
> Cousin said she's missing us. Said she wants to come visit next week.
> She has a baby a little older than our baby. Would be fun for them.
> Would be nice to see her again too.
:)
>> think they just trying to terrify you
>> (and doing a good job)
>> :(
>
> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently?
> Don't these people have jobs?
maybe that is their job? :(
think they doing it to try to get you to shut up again
they know their power over you now is just by making you scared
>>>> seems police are taking this seriously
>>>
>>> They are very busy today. Probably tired.
>>
>> still good you called
>
> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our
> mouth to cops.
that's what they're hoping for
is good you calling the cops
ubiquity
> In article <slrnhjspt7....@asus.zero>,
> ubiquity <ubiq...@aftertragedy.us> wrote:
>>Think having a most knowledgeable t helps too. She knows what we think
>>about the hsptl, and she believes us we don't like it. Only once has she
>>asked us if we think we need it. She understands more that we do have
>>sui feeling everyday. She treats it like just another day, which is what
>>it is. Feels more respectable that way.
>>
>>(t)
>
> about this every day *shrug*' level and then there is the 'ok,
> I have x in my hand RIGHT THIS MINUTE' level and several inbetween
> as well. It's good to have a t'pist who knows which level is serious
> and which one is just the same old same old. That way you feel more
> understood and able to tell her when the levels change.
Yes, the other night, that's why she said she wanted to see us the next
day. It was close. Our t said we can tell her. We told her we don't like
talking about sui. Feels like attention seeking after all that DBT
stuff.
> For us it meant the different levels were more managable as well,
> come to think of it. Having the t'pist freak out made it hard for
> us to talk about it and not talking about it made it go up in
> intensity sometimes.
>
> Rainbow Colors (Jill)
Yes, and we
Wrote this much and things got hectic real quick. Can't remember at all
what I was going to write. Sorry.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
ubiquity
> On Fri, 2 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>>
>> That's what t said. She said if we took greyhound where we said we
>> would go it would only be temporary relief like c*tting is.
>
> yeah
> sigh
Feels like there is no escape. The quickest way to end a conflict is to
lose it.
>>> hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
>>
>> Think so. Hope so. No phone calls since this morning blocking seven
>> more phone numbers and with the changed cell number. Only people
>> we've talked to on the phone today are our t and our cousin.
>
> good
Think so too. We want it to last. At least until this anxiety can fade a
little. We might be able to enjoy a little phoneline quietness.
>> Cousin said she's missing us. Said she wants to come visit next week.
>> She has a baby a little older than our baby. Would be fun for them.
>> Would be nice to see her again too.
>
> :)
She has always been our favorite r*lat*ve. She was born the same year as
we were.
>>> think they just trying to terrify you
>>> (and doing a good job)
>>> :(
>>
>> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently?
>> Don't these people have jobs?
>
> maybe that is their job? :(
That's scary. :(
> think they doing it to try to get you to shut up again
> they know their power over you now is just by making you scared
*sigh* We don't want them to have power, but how can we not be scared of
this? How can we keep littles from getting scared and going out when
they honk, buzz, ring, k*ck and sl*m our door, yell, throw bits of
asphault at windows, and get others inside to booby trap our safe inside
places? We don't even really know what's going on. How can we not be
scared of something like that? Is it hopeless? Should we just submit to
them so we can get scraps of rest? We really can't fight all this. We
can't go on like this for long. We aren't some incredibly strong person.
We are just a nothing who's been lucky enough to live this long.
>>> still good you called
>>
>> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our
>> mouth to cops.
>
> that's what they're hoping for
> is good you calling the cops
Won't they just think we're crazy just because we aren't on meds
anymore? Will they arrest us for making up stories and wasting their
time?
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
Shiyiya
But you are strong, to have held on so long in such conditions.
> We are just a nothing who's been lucky enough to live this long.
>
>>>> still good you called
>>> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our
>>> mouth to cops.
>> that's what they're hoping for
>> is good you calling the cops
>
> Won't they just think we're crazy just because we aren't on meds
> anymore? Will they arrest us for making up stories and wasting their
> time?
>
> (t)
You said they've seen evidencec of what's going on. And if they thought
you were wasting their time, they'd ignore you, not come help.
astri
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 2 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>>>> think isn't any place to run from this :(
>>>
>>> That's what t said. She said if we took greyhound where we said we
>>> would go it would only be temporary relief like c*tting is.
>>
>> yeah
>> sigh
>
> Feels like there is no escape. The quickest way to end a conflict is
> to lose it.
that wouldn't end this one
it would maintain it
>>>> hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
>>>
>>> Think so. Hope so. No phone calls since this morning blocking seven
>>> more phone numbers and with the changed cell number. Only people
>>> we've talked to on the phone today are our t and our cousin.
>>
>> good
>
> Think so too. We want it to last. At least until this anxiety can
> fade a little. We might be able to enjoy a little phoneline
> quietness.
yes
>>> Cousin said she's missing us. Said she wants to come visit next
>>> week. She has a baby a little older than our baby. Would be fun for
>>> them. Would be nice to see her again too.
>>
>> :)
>
> She has always been our favorite r*lat*ve. She was born the same year
> as we were.
heh
>>>> think they just trying to terrify you
>>>> (and doing a good job)
>>>> :(
>>>
>>> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently?
>>> Don't these people have jobs?
>>
>> maybe that is their job? :(
>
> That's scary. :(
yes
>> think they doing it to try to get you to shut up again
>> they know their power over you now is just by making you scared
>
> *sigh* We don't want them to have power, but how can we not be scared of
> this? How can we keep littles from getting scared and going out when
> they honk, buzz, ring, k*ck and sl*m our door, yell, throw bits of
> asphault at windows, and get others inside to booby trap our safe
> inside places? We don't even really know what's going on. How can we
> not be scared of something like that?
is definitely scary
but best thing to do is not give in to them
> Is it hopeless? Should we just submit to them so we can get scraps of
> rest?
not hopeless
don't submit
> We really can't fight all this. We can't go on like this for long. We
> aren't some incredibly strong person. We are just a nothing who's
> been lucky enough to live this long.
:(
>>>> still good you called
>>>
>>> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our
>>> mouth to cops.
>>
>> that's what they're hoping for
>> is good you calling the cops
>
> Won't they just think we're crazy just because we aren't on meds
> anymore? Will they arrest us for making up stories and wasting their
> time?
no
wife has experienced it, too
she can tell them that
jill
ubiquity <ubiq...@aftertragedy.us> wrote:
>On 2010-01-02, jill wrote...
>> In article <slrnhjspt7....@asus.zero>,
>> ubiquity <ubiq...@aftertragedy.us> wrote:
>>>Think having a most knowledgeable t helps too. She knows what we think
>>>about the hsptl, and she believes us we don't like it. Only once has she
>>>asked us if we think we need it. She understands more that we do have
>>>sui feeling everyday. She treats it like just another day, which is what
>>>it is. Feels more respectable that way.
>>>
>>>(t)
>>
>> Yes, it's in layers or levels or something. There is the 'I think
>> about this every day *shrug*' level and then there is the 'ok,
>> I have x in my hand RIGHT THIS MINUTE' level and several inbetween
>> as well. It's good to have a t'pist who knows which level is serious
>> and which one is just the same old same old. That way you feel more
>> understood and able to tell her when the levels change.
>
>Yes, the other night, that's why she said she wanted to see us the next
>day. It was close. Our t said we can tell her. We told her we don't like
>talking about sui. Feels like attention seeking after all that DBT
>stuff.
*Sigh* It's the hardest balance to find. Get help, don't draw
attention, take it seriously, ignore it and don't give it power.
As a survivor, as a t'pist, as a parent. And we (survivors) always
have to overcome what we were taught in childhood, that what we
need/want doesn't count :P
>> For us it meant the different levels were more managable as well,
>> come to think of it. Having the t'pist freak out made it hard for
>> us to talk about it and not talking about it made it go up in
>> intensity sometimes.
>>
>> Rainbow Colors (Jill)
>
>Yes, and we
>
>Wrote this much and things got hectic real quick. Can't remember at all
>what I was going to write. Sorry.
>
>(t)
>--
> -ubiquity constellation
Don't worry about it *grin* I remember that too. The CLICK or POOF
and the brain is empty, in mid word even. No big deal. Stuff is
being processed inside. Not necessarily by _you_, but someone is
mulling this over.
ubiquity
> On Fri, 2 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>> Feels like there is no escape. The quickest way to end a conflict is
>> to lose it.
>
> that wouldn't end this one
> it would maintain it
Not if we are d*ad.
>> Think so too. We want it to last. At least until this anxiety can
>> fade a little. We might be able to enjoy a little phoneline
>> quietness.
>
> yes
Was quiet all night. We even slept a little.
>> She has always been our favorite r*lat*ve. She was born the same year
>> as we were.
>
> heh
We lived with her in Idaho for a bit when my m*m didn't want to deal
with us anymore.
>>> maybe that is their job? :(
>>
>> That's scary. :(
>
> yes
:(
>> *sigh* We don't want them to have power, but how can we not be scared of
>> this? How can we keep littles from getting scared and going out when
>> they honk, buzz, ring, k*ck and sl*m our door, yell, throw bits of
>> asphault at windows, and get others inside to booby trap our safe
>> inside places? We don't even really know what's going on. How can we
>> not be scared of something like that?
>
> is definitely scary
> but best thing to do is not give in to them
I try not to. Lots of us do, but we get so panicked, and then switchy,
and they say things that don't make any sense. T says they call them
out with phrases. That scares us.
>> Is it hopeless? Should we just submit to them so we can get scraps of
>> rest?
>
> not hopeless
> don't submit
Can't we just get a little rest? Maybe we can work harder if we give in
and we can rest first. So hard.
>> We really can't fight all this. We can't go on like this for long. We
>> aren't some incredibly strong person. We are just a nothing who's
>> been lucky enough to live this long.
>
> :(
>
>> Won't they just think we're crazy just because we aren't on meds
>> anymore? Will they arrest us for making up stories and wasting their
>> time?
>
> no
>
> wife has experienced it, too
> she can tell them that
She talked to the police first yesterday. We were still on the phone
with t until we knew it was them she was talking to. Had to talk to more
police today. Car crashed into the side of the bus. The police asked us
questions. They took our picture. :( They wouldn't let us off the bus
for forty-five minutes.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
fuzzy
think you are being very strong. wish you didnt have to go through this
fuzzy
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 1 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> So so scary. Want to run away.
>> think isn't any place to run from this :(
>
> That's what t said. She said if we took greyhound where we said we would
> go it would only be temporary relief like c*tting is.
>
yes :(
>> hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
>
> Think so. Hope so. No phone calls since this morning blocking seven more
> phone numbers and with the changed cell number. Only people we've talked
> to on the phone today are our t and our cousin.
>
> Cousin said she's missing us. Said she wants to come visit next week.
> She has a baby a little older than our baby. Would be fun for them.
> Would be nice to see her again too.
>
something to look forward to then
>> think they just trying to terrify you
>> (and doing a good job)
>> :(
>
> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently? Don't
> these people have jobs?
>
> T had asked us early on what the man did. Where he worked. We don't
> know. He didn't seem to ever leave for work. T said from all we've told
> her, it's likely he could afford what he could, house, cable, car, food,
> everything, from selling the movies and bad things like that.
>
that is probably true :(
>>>> wife knows that
>>> Yeah, she gave us a big hug because she knows how much we don't like
>>> talking to police.
>> k
>>
>>>> seems police are taking this seriously
>>> They are very busy today. Probably tired.
>> still good you called
>
> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our mouth
> to cops.
>
> (t)
that's old rules. that's his rules. you are breaking free from him and
is really scary but if you can stick with it you can be truly free
fuzzy
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 2 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
<...>
>>> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently?
>>> Don't these people have jobs?
>> maybe that is their job? :(
>
> That's scary. :(
>
>> think they doing it to try to get you to shut up again
>> they know their power over you now is just by making you scared
>
> *sigh* We don't want them to have power, but how can we not be scared of
> this? How can we keep littles from getting scared and going out when
> they honk, buzz, ring, k*ck and sl*m our door, yell, throw bits of
> asphault at windows, and get others inside to booby trap our safe inside
> places? We don't even really know what's going on. How can we not be
> scared of something like that? Is it hopeless? Should we just submit to
> them so we can get scraps of rest? We really can't fight all this. We
> can't go on like this for long. We aren't some incredibly strong person.
> We are just a nothing who's been lucky enough to live this long.
>
think there's two questions there.
first question is how can you not be scared. think the answer to that is
that it's reasonable for you to be scared. it's scary stuff. being
scared means you are paying atttention and don't want to get hurt. that
makes sense
the other question is how do you manage the fear. that's harder. there's
things you can do when you are scared like calling t, talking to asd,
calling the police. you can also do some self-soothing stuff like
wrapping in blankets. it's a hard hard lesson but one of the things is
that even though you are scared you don't have to do what they say. the
scared feels awful but it goes away. it's a feeling. it's not a command
for you to follow what they told you to do
you are strong. you are someone. we also understand, you are afraid and
v*lnerable and you don't feel strong. sometimes it's the small and weak
that are the most brave. sometimes surviving isn't about being strong
it's about desperation and knowing when to hide and having others to
help you
>>>> still good you called
>>> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our
>>> mouth to cops.
>> that's what they're hoping for
>> is good you calling the cops
>
> Won't they just think we're crazy just because we aren't on meds
> anymore? Will they arrest us for making up stories and wasting their
> time?
>
no wife has seen
and there's been evidence
ubiquity
> ubiquity wrote:
>> Lots of work and we feel worse and worse. Blocked seven numbers from the
>> home phone today, after a long night of door buzzing. Buzzing today
>> around noon. We saw someone recognisable from the window. Called the
>> police again. They were delayed because of a backlog from last night,
>> but eventually came after a half hour of knocking and yelling at our
>> door. We turned the music up so loud we couldn't hear. Police said they
>> must have just missed him. They said call again if we need to. T called
>> us while he was at the door knocking and yelling. She heard him. Wife is
>> really freaked out. Think we might need to sit down with her and talk
>> finally when she's a little calmer. (She's ranting to her m*m on the
>> phone which always seems to help her. Glad she has support.) We are
>> watching the kids trying to stay calm while scared sh*tless.
>>
>> (t)
>
> think you are being very strong. wish you didnt have to go through this
We must have done something very bad to deserve this.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
ubiquity
> ubiquity wrote:
>> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>>
>> That's what t said. She said if we took greyhound where we said we would
>> go it would only be temporary relief like c*tting is.
>
> yes :(
*sigh*
>>> hope if you can stick this out they'll start leaving you alone
>>
>> Think so. Hope so. No phone calls since this morning blocking seven more
>> phone numbers and with the changed cell number. Only people we've talked
>> to on the phone today are our t and our cousin.
>>
>> Cousin said she's missing us. Said she wants to come visit next week.
>> She has a baby a little older than our baby. Would be fun for them.
>> Would be nice to see her again too.
>
> something to look forward to then
Yeah, think we were more hopeful last night. She has said this before,
and never come over.
>>> think they just trying to terrify you
>>> (and doing a good job)
>>> :(
>>
>> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently? Don't
>> these people have jobs?
>>
>> T had asked us early on what the man did. Where he worked. We don't
>> know. He didn't seem to ever leave for work. T said from all we've told
>> her, it's likely he could afford what he could, house, cable, car, food,
>> everything, from selling the movies and bad things like that.
>
> that is probably true :(
Bad.
>> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our mouth
>> to cops.
>>
>> (t)
>
> that's old rules. that's his rules. you are breaking free from him and
> is really scary but if you can stick with it you can be truly free
If they're his and old rules, how come bad things still happening?
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
Shiyiya
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 2 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> Feels like there is no escape. The quickest way to end a conflict is
>>> to lose it.
>> that wouldn't end this one
>> it would maintain it
>
> Not if we are d*ad.
but then baby and slunkette won't have their d*d.
:(
>
>>> Is it hopeless? Should we just submit to them so we can get scraps of
>>> rest?
>> not hopeless
>> don't submit
>
> Can't we just get a little rest? Maybe we can work harder if we give in
> and we can rest first. So hard.
if you give in, they'll know they can get you to and be less likely to
give up ever.
>
>>> We really can't fight all this. We can't go on like this for long. We
>>> aren't some incredibly strong person. We are just a nothing who's
>>> been lucky enough to live this long.
>> :(
>>
>>> Won't they just think we're crazy just because we aren't on meds
>>> anymore? Will they arrest us for making up stories and wasting their
>>> time?
>> no
>>
>> wife has experienced it, too
>> she can tell them that
>
> She talked to the police first yesterday. We were still on the phone
> with t until we knew it was them she was talking to. Had to talk to more
> police today. Car crashed into the side of the bus. The police asked us
> questions. They took our picture. :( They wouldn't let us off the bus
> for forty-five minutes.
>
> (t)
That picture I bet just going to be for their records so they know who
was in the accident.
Shiyiya
bad things happen to good people sometimes :/
the people who d*e in t*rr*r*st att*cks didn't do anything to deserve it
neither did you
is just bad luck and unfair world :/
Shiyiya
He is bad. :(
>
>>> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our mouth
>>> to cops.
>>>
>>> (t)
>> that's old rules. that's his rules. you are breaking free from him and
>> is really scary but if you can stick with it you can be truly free
>
> If they're his and old rules, how come bad things still happening?
>
> (t)
because they're scared of getting in trouble for the bad things they did
and are trying to scare you into not telling so they can keep h*rting
people without consequences.
astri
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 2 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> Feels like there is no escape. The quickest way to end a conflict
>>> is to lose it.
>>
>> that wouldn't end this one
>> it would maintain it
>
> Not if we are d*ad.
slunkette and baby need you
>>> Think so too. We want it to last. At least until this anxiety can
>>> fade a little. We might be able to enjoy a little phoneline
>>> quietness.
>>
>> yes
>
> Was quiet all night. We even slept a little.
good
>>> She has always been our favorite r*lat*ve. She was born the same
>>> year as we were.
>>
>> heh
>
> We lived with her in Idaho for a bit when my m*m didn't want to deal
> with us anymore.
glad you have her
>>>> maybe that is their job? :(
>>>
>>> That's scary. :(
>>
>> yes
>
> :(
>
>>> *sigh* We don't want them to have power, but how can we not be
>>> scared of this? How can we keep littles from getting scared and
>>> going out when they honk, buzz, ring, k*ck and sl*m our door, yell,
>>> throw bits of asphault at windows, and get others inside to booby
>>> trap our safe inside places? We don't even really know what's going
>>> on. How can we not be scared of something like that?
>>
>> is definitely scary
>> but best thing to do is not give in to them
>
> I try not to. Lots of us do, but we get so panicked, and then switchy,
> and they say things that don't make any sense. T says they call them
> out with phrases. That scares us.
bet you're trying not to have to hear those phrases
>>> Is it hopeless? Should we just submit to them so we can get scraps
>>> of rest?
>>
>> not hopeless
>> don't submit
>
> Can't we just get a little rest? Maybe we can work harder if we give
> in and we can rest first. So hard.
you got a little rest today
>>> We really can't fight all this. We can't go on like this for long.
>>> We aren't some incredibly strong person. We are just a nothing
>>> who's been lucky enough to live this long.
>>
>> :(
>>
>>> Won't they just think we're crazy just because we aren't on meds
>>> anymore? Will they arrest us for making up stories and wasting
>>> their time?
>>
>> no
>>
>> wife has experienced it, too
>> she can tell them that
>
> She talked to the police first yesterday. We were still on the phone
> with t until we knew it was them she was talking to. Had to talk to
> more police today. Car crashed into the side of the bus. The police
> asked us questions. They took our picture. :( They wouldn't let us
> off the bus for forty-five minutes.
:(
fuzzy
> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>> On Fri, 2 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> Feels like there is no escape. The quickest way to end a conflict is
>>> to lose it.
>> that wouldn't end this one
>> it would maintain it
>
> Not if we are d*ad.
>
slunkettes and baby's life. wife too and your t
fuzzy
no. it doesn't work that way
fuzzy
> On 2010-01-03, fuzzy wrote...
>> ubiquity wrote:
>>> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>>>> think they just trying to terrify you
>>>> (and doing a good job)
>>>> :(
>>> Why? and how can they be here 3am and 1pm and call so frequently? Don't
>>> these people have jobs?
>>>
>>> T had asked us early on what the man did. Where he worked. We don't
>>> know. He didn't seem to ever leave for work. T said from all we've told
>>> her, it's likely he could afford what he could, house, cable, car, food,
>>> everything, from selling the movies and bad things like that.
>> that is probably true :(
>
> Bad.
yes :( and terribly unfair to you and all the other people he hurt
>
>>> Scared though. We aren't supposed to be blabbing and running our mouth
>>> to cops.
>>>
>>> (t)
>> that's old rules. that's his rules. you are breaking free from him and
>> is really scary but if you can stick with it you can be truly free
>
> If they're his and old rules, how come bad things still happening?
>
because you haven't completely broken free yet. you getting close so
those people trying to scare you back to them
ubiquity
your wrong. you don't know them. we give them mixed messages because
we're borderline. not his fault.
--
-ubiquity constellation
Shiyiya
"Mixed messages" isn't any kind of reason for people to do illegal
things. You cannot make someone do something illegal/bad, they have to
choose to do it themselves. And harrassing you like they are *is*
illegal. And your wife and children haven't done anything to them and
certainly don't deserve to be harrassed, not that you do either. "mixed
messages because borderline" sounds a h*ll of a lot like an excuse they
gave to not own what they did. They are responsible for their own
actions. Not you.
ubiquity
> On Sat, 3 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>>> it would maintain it
>>
>> Not if we are d*ad.
>
> slunkette and baby need you
So hard to maintain a pulse just for them. :(
>> Was quiet all night. We even slept a little.
>
> good
Still quiet on the phone front. :) Didn't sleep though.
>> We lived with her in Idaho for a bit when my m*m didn't want to deal
>> with us anymore.
>
> glad you have her
Kind of. She doesn't talk to us much. We used to e-mail a lot, but that
got messed up.
>> I try not to. Lots of us do, but we get so panicked, and then switchy,
>> and they say things that don't make any sense. T says they call them
>> out with phrases. That scares us.
>
> bet you're trying not to have to hear those phrases
Don't know lots of them. T knows more. T has apoligised for things I
don't even remember hearing. She said it was trigger phrases. She said
we talk about pennies a lot when in that garbled speaking state. Other
things. Things that should just be normal. Don't know lots. Don't want
to post them here. That's ok, right?
>>> not hopeless
>>> don't submit
>>
>> Can't we just get a little rest? Maybe we can work harder if we give
>> in and we can rest first. So hard.
>
> you got a little rest today
Then a car h*t the bus. :/
>>> wife has experienced it, too
>>> she can tell them that
>>
>> She talked to the police first yesterday. We were still on the phone
>> with t until we knew it was them she was talking to. Had to talk to
>> more police today. Car crashed into the side of the bus. The police
>> asked us questions. They took our picture. :( They wouldn't let us
>> off the bus for forty-five minutes.
>
> :(
They even stood at the enterance and blocked it. It wasn't fair. We
didn't do anything. Why did they take pictures of our face? Why were
they holding us captive on a bus?
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2010-01-03, astri wrote...
>> On Sat, 3 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> On 2010-01-02, astri wrote...
>>>> that wouldn't end this one
>>>> it would maintain it
>>>
>>> Not if we are d*ad.
>>
>> slunkette and baby need you
>
> So hard to maintain a pulse just for them. :(
understand
but necessary
>>> Was quiet all night. We even slept a little.
>>
>> good
>
> Still quiet on the phone front. :) Didn't sleep though.
sigh
>>> We lived with her in Idaho for a bit when my m*m didn't want to deal
>>> with us anymore.
>>
>> glad you have her
>
> Kind of. She doesn't talk to us much. We used to e-mail a lot, but that
> got messed up.
:(
>>> I try not to. Lots of us do, but we get so panicked, and then switchy,
>>> and they say things that don't make any sense. T says they call them
>>> out with phrases. That scares us.
>>
>> bet you're trying not to have to hear those phrases
>
> Don't know lots of them. T knows more. T has apoligised for things I
> don't even remember hearing. She said it was trigger phrases. She said
> we talk about pennies a lot when in that garbled speaking state. Other
> things. Things that should just be normal. Don't know lots. Don't want
> to post them here. That's ok, right?
you don't have to post them
>>>> not hopeless
>>>> don't submit
>>>
>>> Can't we just get a little rest? Maybe we can work harder if we give
>>> in and we can rest first. So hard.
>>
>> you got a little rest today
>
> Then a car h*t the bus. :/
:(
> They even stood at the enterance and blocked it. It wasn't fair. We
> didn't do anything. Why did they take pictures of our face? Why were
> they holding us captive on a bus?
doing an investigation of the accident, prolly
ubiquity
> On Sun, 3 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>> So hard to maintain a pulse just for them. :(
>
> understand
> but necessary
:(
>> Still quiet on the phone front. :) Didn't sleep though.
>
> sigh
Is ok.
>> Don't know lots of them. T knows more. T has apoligised for things I
>> don't even remember hearing. She said it was trigger phrases. She said
>> we talk about pennies a lot when in that garbled speaking state. Other
>> things. Things that should just be normal. Don't know lots. Don't want
>> to post them here. That's ok, right?
>
> you don't have to post them
Ok, thank you.
>>> you got a little rest today
>>
>> Then a car h*t the bus. :/
>
> :(
Oh well. Funny thing is we were on the way to buy a bus pass. Then we
took a cab home anyways.
>> They even stood at the enterance and blocked it. It wasn't fair. We
>> didn't do anything. Why did they take pictures of our face? Why were
>> they holding us captive on a bus?
>
> doing an investigation of the accident, prolly
Ok. Will they destroy the picture later? We ask them to do that at the
hsptl. They would rip up the one from the chart in front of us when we
got discharged.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2010-01-03, astri wrote...
>> On Sun, 3 Jan 2010, ubiquity wrote:
>>> So hard to maintain a pulse just for them. :(
>>
>> understand
>> but necessary
>
> :(
>
>>> Still quiet on the phone front. :) Didn't sleep though.
>>
>> sigh
>
> Is ok.
understand having to make it ok
>>> Don't know lots of them. T knows more. T has apoligised for things
>>> I don't even remember hearing. She said it was trigger phrases. She
>>> said we talk about pennies a lot when in that garbled speaking
>>> state. Other things. Things that should just be normal. Don't know
>>> lots. Don't want to post them here. That's ok, right?
>>
>> you don't have to post them
>
> Ok, thank you.
you never have to post anything you don't want to post
>>>> you got a little rest today
>>>
>>> Then a car h*t the bus. :/
>>
>> :(
>
> Oh well. Funny thing is we were on the way to buy a bus pass. Then we
> took a cab home anyways.
sigh
>>> They even stood at the enterance and blocked it. It wasn't fair. We
>>> didn't do anything. Why did they take pictures of our face? Why were
>>> they holding us captive on a bus?
>>
>> doing an investigation of the accident, prolly
>
> Ok. Will they destroy the picture later? We ask them to do that at the
> hsptl. They would rip up the one from the chart in front of us when we
> got discharged.
dunno what they'll do with it when they'r done
Shiyiya
they had to have records of who was in the accident.
fuzzy
i don't believe that