Hi.
ubiquity
really feel it so much as know it's there. Don't know what it is. Don't
know if it's even real. H*te this stupid body. Cry in session a lot
about it. I truely do h*te this broken messed up body.
We could've seen a psych nurse for meds on friday, but her only
appointment was during the time we see t for thrpy, and we used that as
an excuse to put it off until she was available again in january. Didn't
seem like a smart idea to go see someone with pink sheet power with so
many c*ts on us. Especially since she'd no doubt ask to take our blood
pressure.
Worried about people here who aren't posting or aren't posting much.
Hope everyone is at least safe. Last time we talked to EB, she was at
different points, asking us to help her find a referal for an ra
specialist thrpst there or asking if we knew anybody who could get her
"back in". *sigh* Hope she is at least safe even if not in a place she
can connect with folks in asd.
We are tired. Been hard weeks. Bought wife pots and pans set. She seemed
a little disappointed at first, she wanted aluminum and we got her
non-stick, but then we pointed out it *was aluminum with a coating and
she wouldn't like cleaning something non-stick.
She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our old
one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled on the
back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful gift. Ok,
we are crying. Need to end the post.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> Very very numb today. All I feel is really distant arm p*in, but don't
> really feel it so much as know it's there. Don't know what it is. Don't
> know if it's even real. H*te this stupid body. Cry in session a lot
> about it. I truely do h*te this broken messed up body.
:(
(hate ours too)
> We could've seen a psych nurse for meds on friday, but her only
> appointment was during the time we see t for thrpy, and we used that
> as an excuse to put it off until she was available again in january.
> Didn't seem like a smart idea to go see someone with pink sheet power
> with so many c*ts on us. Especially since she'd no doubt ask to take
> our blood pressure.
sigh
> Worried about people here who aren't posting or aren't posting much.
> Hope everyone is at least safe. Last time we talked to EB, she was at
> different points, asking us to help her find a referal for an ra
> specialist thrpst there or asking if we knew anybody who could get
> her "back in". *sigh* Hope she is at least safe even if not in a
> place she can connect with folks in asd.
yes, worried too
> We are tired. Been hard weeks. Bought wife pots and pans set. She
> seemed a little disappointed at first, she wanted aluminum and we got
> her non-stick, but then we pointed out it *was aluminum with a
> coating and she wouldn't like cleaning something non-stick.
>
> She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our
> old one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled on
> the back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful
> gift. Ok, we are crying. Need to end the post.
nice of her
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================
confuzzled
> Very very numb today. All I feel is really distant arm p*in, but don't
> really feel it so much as know it's there. Don't know what it is. Don't
> know if it's even real. H*te this stupid body. Cry in session a lot
> about it. I truely do h*te this broken messed up body.
regrets
>
> We could've seen a psych nurse for meds on friday, but her only
> appointment was during the time we see t for thrpy, and we used that as
> an excuse to put it off until she was available again in january. Didn't
> seem like a smart idea to go see someone with pink sheet power with so
> many c*ts on us. Especially since she'd no doubt ask to take our blood
> pressure.
>
hope you get to see her soon. think it would help
> Worried about people here who aren't posting or aren't posting much.
> Hope everyone is at least safe. Last time we talked to EB, she was at
> different points, asking us to help her find a referal for an ra
> specialist thrpst there or asking if we knew anybody who could get her
> "back in". *sigh* Hope she is at least safe even if not in a place she
> can connect with folks in asd.
>
yes. worried about her
> We are tired. Been hard weeks. Bought wife pots and pans set. She seemed
> a little disappointed at first, she wanted aluminum and we got her
> non-stick, but then we pointed out it *was aluminum with a coating and
> she wouldn't like cleaning something non-stick.
>
non-stick is nice
> She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our old
> one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled on the
> back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful gift. Ok,
> we are crying. Need to end the post.
>
> (t)
is a thoughtful gift
we have the book. the movie is n's favorite
ubiquity
> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>
>> Very very numb today. All I feel is really distant arm p*in, but don't
>> really feel it so much as know it's there. Don't know what it is. Don't
>> know if it's even real. H*te this stupid body. Cry in session a lot
>> about it. I truely do h*te this broken messed up body.
>
> :(
>
> (hate ours too)
We want a new one. T makes us cry. She tells everyone inside it's
impossible. We are stuck with it. We don't want it. Not fair. It isn't
even ours!
>> We could've seen a psych nurse for meds on friday, but her only
>> appointment was during the time we see t for thrpy, and we used that
>> as an excuse to put it off until she was available again in january.
>> Didn't seem like a smart idea to go see someone with pink sheet power
>> with so many c*ts on us. Especially since she'd no doubt ask to take
>> our blood pressure.
>
> sigh
and we have a feeling from the psych nurse's voice and name, we knew her
before. Think she used to work for the hsptl. Charge nurse night shift
on weekends for East ITU. We will know when we see her in january if
she's the same person.
>> Worried about people here who aren't posting or aren't posting much.
>> Hope everyone is at least safe. Last time we talked to EB, she was at
>> different points, asking us to help her find a referal for an ra
>> specialist thrpst there or asking if we knew anybody who could get
>> her "back in". *sigh* Hope she is at least safe even if not in a
>> place she can connect with folks in asd.
>
> yes, worried too
Wish we could help here better.
>> We are tired. Been hard weeks. Bought wife pots and pans set. She
>> seemed a little disappointed at first, she wanted aluminum and we got
>> her non-stick, but then we pointed out it *was aluminum with a
>> coating and she wouldn't like cleaning something non-stick.
>>
>> She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our
>> old one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled on
>> the back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful
>> gift. Ok, we are crying. Need to end the post.
>
> nice of her
Yeah, it was. She can be thoughtful sometimes. We knew she was getting
it before she got home. The store she bought it from called for an
authorization to charge our account for it. We didn't tell her that
though. We acted real surprised.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
ubiquity
> ubiquity wrote:
>> Very very numb today. All I feel is really distant arm p*in, but don't
>> really feel it so much as know it's there. Don't know what it is. Don't
>> know if it's even real. H*te this stupid body. Cry in session a lot
>> about it. I truely do h*te this broken messed up body.
>
> regrets
Is ok.
>> We could've seen a psych nurse for meds on friday, but her only
>> appointment was during the time we see t for thrpy, and we used that as
>> an excuse to put it off until she was available again in january. Didn't
>> seem like a smart idea to go see someone with pink sheet power with so
>> many c*ts on us. Especially since she'd no doubt ask to take our blood
>> pressure.
>
> hope you get to see her soon. think it would help
Her next appointments aren't until january, so it will be a couple
weeks. Will give us time to call insurance and authorize us to see her
because she's out of network and for t to talk to her beforehand like
she said she would.
>> Worried about people here who aren't posting or aren't posting much.
>> Hope everyone is at least safe. Last time we talked to EB, she was at
>> different points, asking us to help her find a referal for an ra
>> specialist thrpst there or asking if we knew anybody who could get her
>> "back in". *sigh* Hope she is at least safe even if not in a place she
>> can connect with folks in asd.
>>
> yes. worried about her
>
>> We are tired. Been hard weeks. Bought wife pots and pans set. She seemed
>> a little disappointed at first, she wanted aluminum and we got her
>> non-stick, but then we pointed out it *was aluminum with a coating and
>> she wouldn't like cleaning something non-stick.
>
> non-stick is nice
Yes, isn't teflon either. Is a newer kind that can be put in the
dishwasher and use metal spatulas on. She seems happier about them now,
and we got to throw out all our old scratched up ones too.
but we still saved the pot from our second apartment that an arc of
el*ctricity went through. (That was scary.) It has a big hole in it.
>> She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our old
>> one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled on the
>> back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful gift. Ok,
>> we are crying. Need to end the post.
>>
>> (t)
>
> is a thoughtful gift
> we have the book. the movie is n's favorite
We have all that author's books. Got the paperback series for ten cents
a piece at a yardsale. We also have a hardback copy of Outsiders we
never returned to the junior high.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2009-12-20, astri wrote...
>> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>
>>> Very very numb today. All I feel is really distant arm p*in, but
>>> don't really feel it so much as know it's there. Don't know what it
>>> is. Don't know if it's even real. H*te this stupid body. Cry in
>>> session a lot about it. I truely do h*te this broken messed up
>>> body.
>>
>> :(
>>
>> (hate ours too)
>
> We want a new one. T makes us cry. She tells everyone inside it's
> impossible. We are stuck with it. We don't want it. Not fair. It isn't
> even ours!
yeah, exactly
not fair
>>> We could've seen a psych nurse for meds on friday, but her only
>>> appointment was during the time we see t for thrpy, and we used
>>> that as an excuse to put it off until she was available again in
>>> january. Didn't seem like a smart idea to go see someone with pink
>>> sheet power with so many c*ts on us. Especially since she'd no
>>> doubt ask to take our blood pressure.
>>
>> sigh
>
> and we have a feeling from the psych nurse's voice and name, we knew
> her before. Think she used to work for the hsptl. Charge nurse night
> shift on weekends for East ITU. We will know when we see her in
> january if she's the same person.
is that good or not?
>>> Worried about people here who aren't posting or aren't posting
>>> much. Hope everyone is at least safe. Last time we talked to EB,
>>> she was at different points, asking us to help her find a referal
>>> for an ra specialist thrpst there or asking if we knew anybody who
>>> could get her "back in". *sigh* Hope she is at least safe even if
>>> not in a place she can connect with folks in asd.
>>
>> yes, worried too
>
> Wish we could help here better.
sigh
>>> We are tired. Been hard weeks. Bought wife pots and pans set. She
>>> seemed a little disappointed at first, she wanted aluminum and we
>>> got her non-stick, but then we pointed out it *was aluminum with a
>>> coating and she wouldn't like cleaning something non-stick.
>>>
>>> She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our
>>> old one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled
>>> on the back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful
>>> gift. Ok, we are crying. Need to end the post.
>>
>> nice of her
>
> Yeah, it was. She can be thoughtful sometimes. We knew she was
> getting it before she got home. The store she bought it from called
> for an authorization to charge our account for it. We didn't tell her
> that though. We acted real surprised.
heh
ubiquity
> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>> :(
>>>
>>> (hate ours too)
>>
>> We want a new one. T makes us cry. She tells everyone inside it's
>> impossible. We are stuck with it. We don't want it. Not fair. It isn't
>> even ours!
>
> yeah, exactly
> not fair
If we've got to have all these broken things in our mind, how come we
can't just have a healthy body? Would be so much easier we think. Our t
notices the spasms and jumps the body does. Is part of how she knows
when to change the subject. If there's gotta be so many people inside,
can't we just have a healthy body to stay in?
>> and we have a feeling from the psych nurse's voice and name, we knew
>> her before. Think she used to work for the hsptl. Charge nurse night
>> shift on weekends for East ITU. We will know when we see her in
>> january if she's the same person.
>
> is that good or not?
Think it's good. She was never very mad at us. Only once when we
scr*tched s*res in the right arm on her watch, but think she was more
frustrated than mad. She gave us hot packs wrapped in towels to try to
rest with too.
>>> yes, worried too
>>
>> Wish we could help here better.
>
> sigh
>
>>> nice of her
>>
>> Yeah, it was. She can be thoughtful sometimes. We knew she was
>> getting it before she got home. The store she bought it from called
>> for an authorization to charge our account for it. We didn't tell her
>> that though. We acted real surprised.
>
> heh
:)
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> If we've got to have all these broken things in our mind, how come we
> can't just have a healthy body? Would be so much easier we think. Our
> t notices the spasms and jumps the body does. Is part of how she
> knows when to change the subject. If there's gotta be so many people
> inside, can't we just have a healthy body to stay in?
gotta do stuff to make body healthy and keep it healthy
sigh
>>> and we have a feeling from the psych nurse's voice and name, we knew
>>> her before. Think she used to work for the hsptl. Charge nurse night
>>> shift on weekends for East ITU. We will know when we see her in
>>> january if she's the same person.
>>
>> is that good or not?
>
> Think it's good. She was never very mad at us. Only once when we
> scr*tched s*res in the right arm on her watch, but think she was more
> frustrated than mad. She gave us hot packs wrapped in towels to try to
> rest with too.
k
ubiquity
> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>
>> If we've got to have all these broken things in our mind, how come we
>> can't just have a healthy body? Would be so much easier we think. Our
>> t notices the spasms and jumps the body does. Is part of how she
>> knows when to change the subject. If there's gotta be so many people
>> inside, can't we just have a healthy body to stay in?
>
> gotta do stuff to make body healthy and keep it healthy
> sigh
Try to but it feels worse that way. If we sleep, we get really sick and
dizzy. It feels so yucky to have food inside our stomache. Bleh. How
come things good for the body make us feel worse like that?
>>> is that good or not?
>>
>> Think it's good. She was never very mad at us. Only once when we
>> scr*tched s*res in the right arm on her watch, but think she was more
>> frustrated than mad. She gave us hot packs wrapped in towels to try to
>> rest with too.
>
> k
Our t asked us that question too.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> On 2009-12-20, astri wrote...
>> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>
>>> If we've got to have all these broken things in our mind, how come
>>> we can't just have a healthy body? Would be so much easier we
>>> think. Our t notices the spasms and jumps the body does. Is part of
>>> how she knows when to change the subject. If there's gotta be so
>>> many people inside, can't we just have a healthy body to stay in?
>>
>> gotta do stuff to make body healthy and keep it healthy
>> sigh
>
> Try to but it feels worse that way. If we sleep, we get really sick
> and dizzy. It feels so yucky to have food inside our stomache. Bleh.
> How come things good for the body make us feel worse like that?
dunno
:(
>>>> is that good or not?
>>>
>>> Think it's good. She was never very mad at us. Only once when we
>>> scr*tched s*res in the right arm on her watch, but think she was
>>> more frustrated than mad. She gave us hot packs wrapped in towels
>>> to try to rest with too.
>>
>> k
>
> Our t asked us that question too.
heh
ubiquity
> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>> Try to but it feels worse that way. If we sleep, we get really sick
>> and dizzy. It feels so yucky to have food inside our stomache. Bleh.
>> How come things good for the body make us feel worse like that?
>
> dunno
>
> :(
T tries to tell us about how these things work, but after a very short
time, start feeling really s*ck or h*rt. Friday, she was talking about
gr**ming, and after a couple sentences, it felt like he had been h*t in
the face. :( H*rt a lot, so she stopped. Said we can talk about it more
next week.
>>>>> is that good or not?
>>>>
>>>> Think it's good. She was never very mad at us. Only once when we
>>>> scr*tched s*res in the right arm on her watch, but think she was
>>>> more frustrated than mad. She gave us hot packs wrapped in towels
>>>> to try to rest with too.
>>>
>>> k
>>
>> Our t asked us that question too.
>
> heh
:)
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
astri
> T tries to tell us about how these things work, but after a very
> short time, start feeling really s*ck or h*rt. Friday, she was
> talking about gr**ming, and after a couple sentences, it felt like he
> had been h*t in the face. :( H*rt a lot, so she stopped. Said we can
> talk about it more next week.
is scary stuff
confuzzled
> On 2009-12-20, confuzzled wrote...
>> ubiquity wrote:
<...>
>>> We could've seen a psych nurse for meds on friday, but her only
>>> appointment was during the time we see t for thrpy, and we used that as
>>> an excuse to put it off until she was available again in january. Didn't
>>> seem like a smart idea to go see someone with pink sheet power with so
>>> many c*ts on us. Especially since she'd no doubt ask to take our blood
>>> pressure.
>> hope you get to see her soon. think it would help
>
> Her next appointments aren't until january, so it will be a couple
> weeks. Will give us time to call insurance and authorize us to see her
> because she's out of network and for t to talk to her beforehand like
> she said she would.
>
k
>>> Worried about people here who aren't posting or aren't posting much.
>>> Hope everyone is at least safe. Last time we talked to EB, she was at
>>> different points, asking us to help her find a referal for an ra
>>> specialist thrpst there or asking if we knew anybody who could get her
>>> "back in". *sigh* Hope she is at least safe even if not in a place she
>>> can connect with folks in asd.
>>>
>> yes. worried about her
>>
>>> We are tired. Been hard weeks. Bought wife pots and pans set. She seemed
>>> a little disappointed at first, she wanted aluminum and we got her
>>> non-stick, but then we pointed out it *was aluminum with a coating and
>>> she wouldn't like cleaning something non-stick.
>> non-stick is nice
>
> Yes, isn't teflon either. Is a newer kind that can be put in the
> dishwasher and use metal spatulas on. She seems happier about them now,
> and we got to throw out all our old scratched up ones too.
>
somehow we always mess up those non-stick pans so they become stick pans
> but we still saved the pot from our second apartment that an arc of
> el*ctricity went through. (That was scary.) It has a big hole in it.
>
wow
>>> She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our old
>>> one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled on the
>>> back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful gift. Ok,
>>> we are crying. Need to end the post.
>>>
>>> (t)
>> is a thoughtful gift
>> we have the book. the movie is n's favorite
>
> We have all that author's books. Got the paperback series for ten cents
> a piece at a yardsale. We also have a hardback copy of Outsiders we
> never returned to the junior high.
>
> (t)
we have...
outsiders
tex
rumblefish
that was then, this is now
confuzzled
> On 2009-12-20, astri wrote...
>> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>>> On 2009-12-20, astri wrote...
>>>> :(
>>>>
>>>> (hate ours too)
>>> We want a new one. T makes us cry. She tells everyone inside it's
>>> impossible. We are stuck with it. We don't want it. Not fair. It isn't
>>> even ours!
>> yeah, exactly
>> not fair
>
> If we've got to have all these broken things in our mind, how come we
> can't just have a healthy body? Would be so much easier we think. Our t
> notices the spasms and jumps the body does. Is part of how she knows
> when to change the subject. If there's gotta be so many people inside,
> can't we just have a healthy body to stay in?
>
ubiquity
> On Sun, 20 Dec 2009, ubiquity wrote:
>
>> T tries to tell us about how these things work, but after a very
>> short time, start feeling really s*ck or h*rt. Friday, she was
>> talking about gr**ming, and after a couple sentences, it felt like he
>> had been h*t in the face. :( H*rt a lot, so she stopped. Said we can
>> talk about it more next week.
>
> is scary stuff
Can only spend a few minutes a week talking about that stuff.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
ubiquity
Sorry. Wish we could talk more about this. Would like to. Like talking
to you. Can't think right now, but didn't want to leave you with no
reply. Glad you've been trying to be here more lately.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
confuzzled
> On 2009-12-21, confuzzled wrote...
>> ubiquity wrote:
>>> On 2009-12-20, confuzzled wrote...
>>>> ubiquity wrote:
<...>
>>>>> She went to a party last night, came back with a wallet for us. Our old
>>>>> one was falling apart. The new wallet has "STAY GOLD" scrawled on the
>>>>> back, referencing The Outsiders. Thought it was a thoughtful gift. Ok,
>>>>> we are crying. Need to end the post.
>>>>>
>>>>> (t)
>>>> is a thoughtful gift
>>>> we have the book. the movie is n's favorite
>>> We have all that author's books. Got the paperback series for ten cents
>>> a piece at a yardsale. We also have a hardback copy of Outsiders we
>>> never returned to the junior high.
>>>
>>> (t)
>>
>> we have...
>> outsiders
>> tex
>> rumblefish
>> that was then, this is now
>
> Sorry. Wish we could talk more about this. Would like to. Like talking
> to you. Can't think right now, but didn't want to leave you with no
> reply. Glad you've been trying to be here more lately.
>
> (t)
is ok if you cant talk. know you having a hard time
and ty
ubiquity
> ubiquity wrote:
>> Sorry. Wish we could talk more about this. Would like to. Like talking
>> to you. Can't think right now, but didn't want to leave you with no
>> reply. Glad you've been trying to be here more lately.
>>
>> (t)
>
> is ok if you cant talk. know you having a hard time
> and ty
Ok. Felt kind of bad. Didn't reply to the six posts we were going to
last night either.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
confuzzled
we understand
we letting lots of posts go
some really good replies to wolfie, that she read but never replied back to