they thre*ten all kinds of bad stuff, to*ture, and as they talk i get
all fuzzed out and start seeing it happening. in the dream i know they
are serious and it is going to happen. pure panic fear fills me. then
in my head there is voice saying really loudly and terrified "we have
to wake up now! we have to wake up now!
so we do. and it makes me wake up feeling sick sick. so much fear.
just had to get it out some.
betsy
Scary dream.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
More spoiler for v*olent nightmare
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We have recurring nightmares. If they aren't memories, then they usually
involve being in the hsptl and being bound down and starved and c*tting
the body open if we can get loose and eating the our own intestines.
Believe it or not, we prefer that to dreams that really did happen
replaying at night.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
yes.
betsy
oh dear. poor kiddo. want to make it better like a mom should do. our
heart hurts for you.
> Believe it or not, we prefer that to dreams that really did happen
> replaying at night.
>
i do believe and understand well. is sad tho.
betsy
> (t)
> --
> -ubiquity constellation
regrets fear. bad dreams are yuck. don't have them too often, very glad
about that. just have very strange dreams. last night dreamed was sort
of battle of wills/power with a d*mon and his mother (they looked pretty
much human I think) and was supremely confident because I knew I was
stronger, but was frustrated because my friends weren't as strong and
kept getting overwhelmed and blanking out and I had to wake them up.
oh, that's painful. sounds so isolated. but also like that you know
you are stronger. that's pretty neat, actually.
betsy
We really don't like dreams. Even good dreams, while nice, make us sad
when we wake up because we never have what we had in the dream. We know
someone with one arm. He said when he dreams, he dreams he still has
both arms, and every morning he wakes up and has to realise he only has
one arm again. Every morning since he lost it. Is very sad.
>> Believe it or not, we prefer that to dreams that really did happen
>> replaying at night.
>>
>
> i do believe and understand well. is sad tho.
Yes.
(t)
--
-ubiquity constellation
reminds us of your daytime struggles with being and needing to escape
from that fog of despair
-- astri
======================
to email send to astri
======================
at volcano dot org
======================
hmm, yes. good point. makes me feel heavier tho. but is good to make
connections. they are steps.
gone back to old t. needed help. working on memory stuff. very slowly.
i avoided it for years. makes problems. of course makes problems to
avoid.
sigh.
betsy
yes
it was an interesting dream. Woke up wondering if it symbolized
something that I knew I was more powerful than the d*mons. (And also
wondering why a girl i went to school with five years ago and haven't
seen since was in my dream.)
it is certainly what i understand of it. is a message to yourself
about your own strength.
> (And also wondering why a girl i went to school with five years ago and haven't
> seen since was in my dream.)
maybe about missing being in school? or maybe she is someone you felt
connected to? even if connections aren't positive there are ppl who
impact the thinking/feeling and can pop up unexpectedly in dreams.
dunno. like to be able to be safe enough to talk about dream
representation. don't know book knowledge ideas cause never read about
this topic. but often find they make clear sense if i open my eyes to
them.
betsy
could it be related to stuff with eb?
Might be so. Trying to remember who the friends were. One was Sophie I
went to middle school with and I think one was Audrey I went to midle
school with and I think the other one was named Bad Apple, which seems
utterly bizarre in the light of day but made perfect sense then. D*mons
were a giant humanish dude and his m*ther was sitting in a chair and Bad
Apple was blanked out on the ground next to her and I had to mental
shout to wake her up from a distance. And I tried the shouting out on
waking up Sophie first (to see if I could) and she was like ow. :P
I think it was in my gr*ndma's backyard, too...
> Believe it or not, we prefer that to dreams that really did happen
> replaying at night.
>
> (t)
yes, we believe that. regrets
you still thinking at all about finding another t?
> sigh.
>
yes. is draining hard work
> betsy