Coping Strategies dealing with Fear

Grace

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Apr 26, 2003, 9:54:25 PM4/26/03

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Okay, we've talked about it - Now how do you overcome it.

For some people medicine helps. Paxil is suppose to be great for social
anxiety. I'm not on any meds.

I avoid confrontation - which only makes me eat my own anger and feel like more
of a failure.

In a store It depends on the store - sometimes I will ask for what I want - the
key being I have to know what I want. For a store like a meat market or the
fish counter at the grocery store - those places I just avoid and don't aske
for what I want.

I went to some stupid luncheon at work this week - felt like a complete idiot.
It was mandatory or I would not of gone.

This has nothing to do with the topic but I feel very depressed tonight.

What can you do to combat fear?

Grace

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Apr 27, 2003, 12:12:45 AM4/27/03

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>I'm afraid to talk to people in stores and ask for what I
>want or voice my opinion that the price is wrong. Its silly. But its a
>fear. I don't know how to counterbalance that.

sometimes I ask about the price - it depends on the amount of people waiting.
I use to ask about it even when the price on the merchandize was more than what
they were charging me - but everytime I did that - they'd say they would just
go with the lower price - so I quit.

Here is something to try.

You need to find batteries and you can't find them so you have to ask someone.

Think about the options. If you don't ask you go home and your flashlight
won't work and then if the power goes out you are in trouble.

If you do ask - the clerk might say - I don't know -if you can't find them we
don't have them

or she might look at you like you are an idiot and say aisle 8

or she might be polite and direct you to the place.

In all 3 of those last situations - it might be a little unpleasant but there
will be no last ill - effects. You will survive.

if you don't ask - you might be in darkness.

So if you way the pros and cons and the results of them - you can see that the
worst thing you think could happen is really not something you can't handle -
even the person who looks at you like an idiot. They are the ones who are the
failures cause it is there job to be nice and wait on you and they can't manage
that. And when we imagine the worst case sceniro that rarely actually
happens so if you think it out and realize that the worst thing that can
happen to you is survivable - then maybe you can get someting done despite the
fear. Then the next time you have to do something you remember this little
victory and you realize you can conquer it.

night,

Grace

harakiri

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Apr 27, 2003, 1:39:32 AM4/27/03

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i use my anger

"Grace" <grace...@aol.comerase> wrote in message
news:20030426215425...@mb-m17.aol.com...

harakiri

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Apr 27, 2003, 2:05:46 AM4/27/03

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i think of Sarah Connor from Terminator and T2. i liked her in the end on
T2 where she resets the weapon with the one arm because the other arm was
injured. back of one leg was injured. but that determined look in her
moves. i'd rather look like that than look like Hedy Lamarr in her prime.