Bipolar Recovery
Carol Ferman
this re my BP disorder. In five years I have never heard a pdoc use the
word recovery. Input appreciated. Thx
Hopper
<carol...@earthlink.net> let loose with this gem:
;<Anyone have a view on recovery from bipolar disorder? My new pdoc
;<
Carol,
To the best of my knowledge, no one becomes a un-bipolar, which is
what I think that you are asking. What you can do is find the right
combinations of meds to readjust your brain chemistry so that the
symptoms can disappear. The problem is, your natural levels change
over months and/or years. This means that you must constantly adjust
the meds so that the proper balance is returned, if indeed the proper
balance can ever be achieved. You will never get well, but you may get
better, although "better" is seldom at 100% of the level that you once
were. Indeed, I have found that for me to be at 100% again, I would
have to be sick again, because I have spent most of my life in that
perfect hypomanic state that caused life to be larger, happier, bigger
than I would normally have perceived it. To try and chase that state
down again is what I hope for, but do not think I will gain.
For other where bipolar has been defined as 80% depression and 20%
hypomania, a medication that changes the ratio just a little is an
improvement and allows them to function in the world again. If that is
recovery, then yes you can. If recovery is being superman again, well
I doubt it.
My Father in Law, bless his simple heart once quoted someone and said
that the bigger the horse you ride the harder you land when you fall
off.
I fell off a big horse.
I wouldn't have it any other way or it is better to burn out than to
fade away.
Burn baby burn.
Sorry for this post. I'm normally not this negative. Read "BP Shuffle"
for an explanation.
And Carol, I think that you are new here and perhaps newly diagnosed?
If you need a friend, I will be happy to be one, and introduce you to
some others here that can be good kind friends. When I first came
here, I was lucky to find them, or more precisely they grabbed me
before I started hanging around with the wrong crowd.:-] There is alot
that goes on behind the scenes here.
Be careful, this place is full of crazy people.
Hopper
ShatteredbyLife
I'd like to refer you to my kind of "inspirational" reading... see if you can
find "In Love With Daylight" by Wilfred Sheed...a cynic who has had polio,
prescription drug dependence, major depression and finally, now, cancer.
Maybe it's time for me to read it again, too.
It isn't soppy or full of quotable aphorisms... it's about that mythic beast
"recovery"...whatever that means.
Jim
"...sick of living unwilling to die"
Words scratched into a Riverside, CA library desk. Attributed to the Zodiac,
1967.
Kimbo
and adjusted to a new lifestyle of caution and moderation. It is true you
can't become un-bipolar, once properly diagnosed as bp. I also believe that
it isn't possible to return to 100% the way you were before bipolar hit,
with mental illnesss such as this it is a life changing event. The mere
experience, in my experience has changed me greatly I am not able to
function at a societal level that I was able to before especially due to the
impactful disruption the illness has had on my life, and the means of coping
I have had to adopt. In order to get better, know yourself, know your
illness, know your ups & downs, stay in close contact with your pdoc, find
the right meds and learn as much as you can about how to stay well. There
is a lot of information available to help us.
My opinion,
Kim
Carol Ferman <carol...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:guft5.22318$K4.9...@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
Jim
"Kimbo" <kim....@home.com> wrote:
"I also believe that it isn't possible to return to 100% the way you
were before bipolar hit, with mental illnesss such as this it is a life
changing event. The mere experience, in my experience has changed me
greatly I am not able to function at a societal level that I was able
to before especially due to the impactful disruption the illness has
I'm hoping that as I (or IF I) begin to get better that the maladaptive
lifestyle I adopted in compensation for the undiagnosed and untreated
bipolar and borderline disorders will begin to be replaced by a more
healthy way of dealing with the world. In other words, I think I have
been functioning at 10%...I hope that I can get a good 45% sometime
soon.
Jim
http://heimarmene.homestead.com/index.html
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Kimbo
things are in my life. That song "If you don't like what you've got, why
don't you change it", comes to mind. I've spent a lot of time "changing it"
and would suspect I always functioned at 100% of my abilities. The fact
that I'm happy in my life right now just seems to be a bonus, maybe
something I worked toward by eliminating the damaging influences in my life
and happening to find what I want, by just falling into it really.
Work is good, part-time, and that's all I can handle for now, probably
forever, etc. etc. this job that I have I happened to fall into and have
been there 3 years now. I know I've spent a lot of unhappy times mostly
because my life wasn't the way I wanted it, but by not giving up, by
believing in what you want and finding what you want you can attain "that
life", by reading a lot, and remembering all the little & big quirks (I
think a part of bp is that excellent memory), by remembering all the
"important" things others have told me, and "forgetting" the rest, life goes
on and finding the right balance is part of the challenge. Knowing that
life circumstances are only temporary, a full life (time) can be
justification for that and moving forward in right direction whenever
possible. A little tidbit I remember from a nurse is: "see your tremendous
up's and down's as character builders", all the time I thought the roller
coaster was bringing me through hell, only to find out that all that time I
was building character!!
We always function at 100% of our abilities, we are looking to achieve
happiness and even what seems happiness is in the distance, may not be. May
have to be happy with what we've got, and go from there.
Hoping that you achieve 100% happiness in the not too distant future.
~~Respectively,
Kim
Jim <shatter...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
news:8p6pra$if$1...@nnrp1.deja.com...
Irene Mazis
Hi Kim,
Thanks for the post. I have only once tried to go without lithium in my 20
years
of taking it. At that time, on the 3rd month, I experienced great depression,
and
I lost quite a bit of weight (welcome side effect). It got so bad I had to go
back
on the lithium. This is enigmatic for me, because I also take benzodiazepines,
which
apparently can bring on depression. It has been suggested to me that I was put
on lithium when I was coming off Valium. And the valium withdrawal was
mistaken for manic depression. This is a real bug in my diagnosis which by the
way has only been brought up by a group I belong to - not my doctor. I still
don't know which is right and life seems to short to find out.
Squiggles
Steven Guthrie
etc, after being told I was bipolar at 21 and stabling out. For those 13
years I have sat on the high side of normal(unipolar?)....but stable.
Now I am questioning that I am bipolar, certainly I have not required a drug
adjustment over 13 years. Recently I have had swing problems, at first it
was great to swing, but now I realise my swings are related to the same
problems I had when I was 20. 13 years without these problems = 13 years of
stability. So I ask myself am I bipolar or are my problems very much a
reactionary thing to a specific situation?
Regards,
Steven
"Kimbo" <kim....@home.com> wrote in message
news:6urt5.922$Ca3....@news1.rdc1.ab.home.com...
Linda Channell
13 years without a pdoc, that says to me (and I could be wrong) that
you have also been 13 years without bloodwork done. VERY not good.
Hie thee to a doctor and have tests done, and also find a pdoc.
Linda
On Fri, 22 Sep 2000 10:48:25 +0100, "Steven Guthrie"
<Ste...@SGu3.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>I take 1200mg of Lithium, for 13 years I have been stable, no pdoc contact
>etc, after being told I was bipolar at 21 and stabling out. For those 13
>years I have sat on the high side of normal(unipolar?)....but stable.
>
>Now I am questioning that I am bipolar, certainly I have not required a drug
>adjustment over 13 years. Recently I have had swing problems, at first it
>was great to swing, but now I realise my swings are related to the same
>problems I had when I was 20. 13 years without these problems = 13 years of
>stability. So I ask myself am I bipolar or are my problems very much a
>reactionary thing to a specific situation?
>
>Regards,
>Steven
>
>
>"Kimbo" <kim....@home.com> wrote in message
>news:6urt5.922$Ca3....@news1.rdc1.ab.home.com...
Manick Fantasie
Kimbo
If you are taking 1200mg of lithium a day for 13 years, you need to get
to see a pdoc, who will take blood levels to be sure that your levels are in
the right range. Who prescribes the meds to you if you haven't seen anyone
in that many years? If you have a good med doc they can treat bipolar
illness is well.
It sounds to me like you are not in a dangerous level of bipolar
compared to many of the people that frequent this newsgroup (including
myself) whereby the illness has to be monitered and med levels kept on top
of and adjusted according to the amount of difficulty we have with the
illness. (It can be quite obvious ~ and life disturbing.) I have been on
the same med more or less for 10 years, and it is what keeps me stable ~
tegretol. Yet, I still experience episodes where I need to go into the
hospital even in the last 5 years where I have been relatively stable. If I
lose any amount of sleep, illness induced or when I am under an untold
amount of stress, I can become unstable and require hospitalization, despite
the fact I stay well most of the time on my meds.
Unipolar is a diagnosis in the DSM-IV for depressive illness. If you
are tithering on the hi side of bipolar you would not be considered
unipolar. I know somebody very well who had one episode, a breakdown so to
speak, is what it added up to be. Years ago, they were under an extreme
amount of stress, as a result displayed nearly bipolar like symptoms, was
not hospitalized for the event but saw a pdoc who diagnosed him bp and put
him on depatoke. After 6 months or so of being on depatoke, he stopped
taking the medication and has been well ever since. (Reader's Digest
Version) He does not see a pdoc, he does not take meds and works
full-time. This must be an exception rather than a rule, he would have been
misdiagnosed, it is clear he is not bipolar and reacted to an extremely
stressful situation in his life. You should consider seeing a new pdoc and
find out why exactly you are on the meds, and explain the history of your
initial incident leading to lithium treatment, as well as the circumstances
of your life in these 13 years and how you have been coping.
A mood chart for the period of these 13 years can help to give you &
your new pdoc perspective. Start with a straight line accross the page, and
per year, document your life situation (working / not working, in a
relationship / not, looking for living accommodation / not) in a graph type
of manner, in a situation where you were coping poorly on the high side you
should make the line go way up for that year period, or where you were
poorly coping and depressed, the line should go down & intersect the
straight line accross the page. Go accross your page and do this for each
year in the last 13 years of so. (Even before your diagnosis can shed some
light). The degree of your difficulties should indicate how high up to go
with your line or how far down to go. This could help you a lot in your
assessment (and for your pdoc).
Also, I would highly consider reviewing the symptoms of bipolar disorder
and ask yourself if you fit into the proper diagnosis. Discuss your
findings with your new pdoc. Bipolar symptoms are often posted on this
newsgroup (LyndaNP) and can be found on the internet at bipolar sites
(through search engines).
For myself when I first started getting sick, the symptoms were more
severe. Back then I experienced grandiosity, starting many projects at once
and not finishing them, a feel for very little need for sleep, risk seeking
behaviour, spending more money than I have, a feeling of omnipotence with a
higher self-esteem during a mania, feeling 100% right in my thinking path
even if my thinking/behaviour is illogical, millions of thoughts at once,
loss of sleep, small appetite during mania. The lows are suffered in direct
proportion to the degree of the mania that preceeds it. If mania was highly
intense and hospitalization, with 3 months recovery or so I could expect the
lows to be just as intense. The illness has changed for me over the years,
I want to avoid the extreme hi's, so as soon as I see a sign (less need for
sleep), more energy than normal, ability to finish large projects with
little or no effort, taking on too much, not slowing down in between, I slow
myself down. Also have used the pdoc's help in this time, sometimes a good
vent helps to get things into perspective.
I can't say whether or not you are truly bipolar. Again, I highly
suggest you take the time to figure it out. It sounds possible to me that
you are on medication that you may not have to be on if you have not
experienced one re-occurance since your initial incident. Then again maybe
that's because you've stayed on the meds & your bipolar is a milder form but
still needs the medication to stay in coping levels!! This should be
re-evaluated and decided with the help of a pdoc. He/she can help you
determine the type of bipolar you are (one or two/I or II) and if you come
off meds, can get you through it. Also to consider, I've heard once you are
on a med and stop it, it may not be as effective when you re-start them.
That's worth looking into, and you should really get the help of a pdoc to
get your answers, and through this.
Good luck to you,
~~~Kim~~~ Any question is a good question!
Steven Guthrie <Ste...@SGu3.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message
news:8qf9t2$fmq$1...@news5.svr.pol.co.uk...
> I take 1200mg of Lithium, for 13 years I have been stable, no pdoc contact
<<<<snipped>>>>
Steven Guthrie
"Linda Channell" <lbri...@drsend.com> wrote in message
news:73hmsscuu692ji5ec...@4ax.com...
> You also need to ask yourself what else it COULD be. If you have gone
> 13 years without a pdoc, that says to me (and I could be wrong) that
> you have also been 13 years without bloodwork done. VERY not good.
> Hie thee to a doctor and have tests done, and also find a pdoc.
>
> Linda
>
>
> On Fri, 22 Sep 2000 10:48:25 +0100, "Steven Guthrie"
> <Ste...@SGu3.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >I take 1200mg of Lithium, for 13 years I have been stable, no pdoc
contact
> >etc, after being told I was bipolar at 21 and stabling out. For those 13
> >years I have sat on the high side of normal(unipolar?)....but stable.
> >
> >Now I am questioning that I am bipolar, certainly I have not required a
drug
> >adjustment over 13 years. Recently I have had swing problems, at first it
> >was great to swing, but now I realise my swings are related to the same
> >problems I had when I was 20. 13 years without these problems = 13 years
of
> >stability. So I ask myself am I bipolar or are my problems very much a
> >reactionary thing to a specific situation?
> >
> >Regards,
> >Steven
> >
> >
> >"Kimbo" <kim....@home.com> wrote in message
> >news:6urt5.922$Ca3....@news1.rdc1.ab.home.com...