What Now Democrats? #3
The third rail concerns our nationalistic fervor to start and expand
wars, especially now when we no longer care what the reasons are. We
will support our troops no matter what they do, Nuremburg and the rest
of the world be dammed.
We are a nation of war, in fact it has become so much a factor in our
psyche that when we are not in one, we will look for just about any
excuse to start one. Historically it is what most drives our
patriotism. The longest period of time we ever went without a war was
those few decades between the Civil War and the Spanish American War.
Looking back to that time period, I can't come up with anything that
happened. Well there was the killing off of all the buffalo, putting
all the Indians on reservations and the advent of the Ku Klux Klan and
Jim Crow.
So it is a given that we cannot win elections without posturing for
war or being in one. The problem is that wars on the other side of the
world get very expensive, moving all those troops and ordinance is
half the cost of it. So we need to get our wars closer to home and
constant.
Amendment #3
Congress shall make no war more than 2000 miles from our borders.
That leaves us with either Canada or Mexico, or perhaps New England.
Canada is a socialist state that could use a good bombing, but it
seems they have nuclear weapons and it is awful cold there. So it is
probably best to leave them alone and just watch them very carefully.
So that leaves Mexico. Our last war down that way went very well
indeed. We shipped some troops to Veracruz and marched them over to
Mexico City, and in a matter of a few days they surrendered without
much of a fight at all, and we got Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada
and California! Well we did lose a hundred guys in San Antonio who
gave their lives to ensure slavery in the new short lived nation of
Tejas.
The battle plan is simple enough, begin by sending a platoon down the
highway to Cabo San Lucas which we already own, and then send an
armored division on a slow 30 year blitzkrieg from Texas through the
deserts down to Mexico City. Being the most populated city in the
world, we would best be served by building a wall around it rather
than including it in our social services bill. The French Air Force
could fly over everyday and drop them croissants. All the desert
between Texas and Mexico city could be used to relocate any Mexicans
who have come too far North for their own good. Also keep in mind that
Mexico and most nations further on down through South America have a
good share of the world's oil. So with very little belt tightening,
and perhaps some drilling on the Lincoln Mall, we could leave the
Middle East behind and give our troops a slow ride down to Terra del
Fuego.
The bottom line is that war is always a good idea. It keeps the
populace politically engaged, dogmatically patriotic and easily
manipulated towards militaristic nationalism. If we keep the war
machine oiled and constantly firing, we can turn our red eyes blue in
no time.
[tomorrow the race amendment]
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"I suppose I can understand the selfish callous disregard of conservatives,
it's their pride in it that passes me by." http://rackjite.com
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