100 KIDS [sic] SONGS
Gaspidistra
Time-Life offering which features sproggen singing with a cheesy pianoesque
accompaniment. They have apparently received no special training in choral
singing. If you don't reach for your mute button in time, you will hear
10-second snippets from every annoying kiddie song ever written. Be warned.
Gaspidistra
PrairieDog
to me and said, "You know, if I ever write a screenplay with some sort
of psychotic maniac killer in it, those kiddie CDs are all he's going to
listen to in his car. Imagine him driving away from some sort of bloody
scene and singing 'B-I-N-G-O..."
And yeah, you can't change the channel fast enough when it does come on.
PrairieDog
In article <20000831104855...@ng-df1.aol.com>,
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Tom Tom Harrington
Haven't seen it, but it reminds me of a story from "This American
Life" a while ago. Someone had done research to determine which
styles of music are most, and least popular. Then to make it
interesting, they had recorded songs combining multiple styles from
the "least popular" end of the scale. The song that would be most
hated, according to him, featured multiple kids all basically
shouting a song about Labor Day (with tuba accompaniment). It was
absolutely horrifying, bt given the context was also kind of funny.
This CD sounds like it'd be basically the same thing, but without the
humor.
The second worst, BTW, featured an opera singer, not doing opera
music, but rap, and it was a cowboy song.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get there?" -- Talking Heads
Watch this space, spiffy home page, "Toast Talk" coming soon
Rat & Swan
Yes, that is one of the most HIDEOUS adverts on television!! I always
say that NOBODY projectile vomits like my Rattie, but THAT commercial
would induce Mother Teresa to break tempered GLASS with her hurl! My
mere mortal stomach muscles would simply melt under the strain.
BL wrote:
> That is the most annoying commercial on the planet.
Tie with the most annoying... I leap for the remote whenever that cheesy
one with old Propeller-Brain comes on singing about the Colorado
Rockies! Sorry, but John Denviant gives me the screaming shits! Talk
about a "singer" who should have been force fed broken glass and Krazy
Glue in a mouthwash...! UGH!
> Some of the songs are ok, but lordy, couldn't they find someone who could sing?
Sounds like they got the Vienna Sausage Boy's Choir out of hock and
shoved happy pills up their recta with cattle prods! I wanna see a tag
team electrified death cage match between the Trapp Family, the Osmonds,
the Jackson 5, Hansen and THESE puerile mewling pussfruits! I wanna
see 'em all impaled on gigantic guitars, a-la Vlad Tepes!
> What's wrong with having an adult sing the children songs?
Adults would be too tempted to change the lyrics. Kids haven't YET
learned all the dirty words to some of the most popular songs.
> Kids singing are even worse
> than kids screeching (oops, I guess that's the same thing).
Shove a firecracker up Tiny Tim's ass, set it off and hit 'Record'! Same
thing.
Swan
Who's swearing off the Glass Teat until THAT abortion is sloughed off
the airwaves in favor of the next Ginsu Chia Automatic in-car Douche
and Breast Pump Kit!
CL55logan
>
>> That is the most annoying commercial on the planet.
I really really hate this, too-- especially the woman watching the kids sing
with that glazed over look in her eyes that promises "every penny of your
purchase price refunded if you're not 100% satisfied"....she looks like she's a
stepford mom waiting to blow a curcuit.
Cathy
P.S. at least they use stuffed animals during the portion of "How much is that
doggie in the window"...No real dogs were annoyed in the shooting of this
commerical....
progrocktv
PrairieDog <cuprai...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> When my partner and I saw this commercial for the first time, he
turned
> to me and said, "You know, if I ever write a screenplay with some sort
> of psychotic maniac killer in it, those kiddie CDs are all he's going
to
> listen to in his car. Imagine him driving away from some sort of
bloody
> scene and singing 'B-I-N-G-O..."
I've always thought that CD would make a GREAT (and twisted) soundtrack
for a porn film!
Overandout!
P.S.
Gutterboy
>Sounds like they got the Vienna Sausage Boy's Choir out of hock and
>shoved happy pills up their recta with cattle prods!
This may be the best sentence I ever read.
>I wanna see a tag
>team electrified death cage match between the Trapp Family, the Osmonds,
>the Jackson 5, Hansen and THESE puerile mewling pussfruits!
Or maybe not.
Gutterboy
-----------------
"It is a sin to refus to bare children for your husband." -- Posted to
themommies.com
Joy
BL <edla...@newstand.syr.edu>
>
> That is the most annoying commercial on the planet. Some of the songs are
> ok, but lordy, couldn't they find someone who could sing? What's wrong
> with having an adult sing the children songs? Kids singing are even worse
> than kids screeching (oops, I guess that's the same thing).
After suffering through that commercial for the 3rd time (it was hypnotic -
I couldn't turn away!) I was at a loss to decide which more horrifying; the
over-produced chorus of talent-free sproggen, or the relentless "boom-chuck"
arrangements of the accompaniment. On every song.
There is a special level of hell for those responsible for foisting this
musical abortion on the general public.
~ Joy
H. Riesen
Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote in message ...
>Haven't seen it, but it reminds me of a story from "This American
>Life" a while ago. Someone had done research to determine which
>styles of music are most, and least popular. Then to make it
>interesting, they had recorded songs combining multiple styles from
>the "least popular" end of the scale. The song that would be most
>hated, according to him, featured multiple kids all basically
>shouting a song about Labor Day (with tuba accompaniment). It was
>absolutely horrifying, bt given the context was also kind of funny.
>This CD sounds like it'd be basically the same thing, but without the
>humor.
>
>The second worst, BTW, featured an opera singer, not doing opera
>music, but rap, and it was a cowboy song.
>
>--
OT, I know but...
The art museum at the University of Washington had an exhibit along similar
lines a few years ago. They took a poll of the public to determine what
kinds of paintings they liked best, and least. The "favorite" painting was a
very large dark old-fashioned oil painting in a simple but lovely wood
frame, depicting George Washington near a river, with a hippo! Apparently
the American public likes presidents, landscapes, and wildlife.
The "least popular" painting was a very tiny abstract-geometric piece with a
hideous gilt frame. Fun exhibit!
HAR
Rat & Swan
progrocktv wrote:
> PrairieDog <cuprai...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> > of psychotic maniac killer in it, those kiddie CDs are all he's goingto
> > listen to in his car. Imagine him driving away from some sort of bloody
> > scene and singing 'B-I-N-G-O..."
> I've always thought that CD would make a GREAT (and twisted) soundtrack
> for a porn film!
*shudder* The horror!
Actually, I've always WANTED to do a hardcore S/M video with whips,
clips chains and stains... to a soundtrack of Spike Jones and His City
Slickers!! Can you imagine a whipping scene done to 'You Always Hurt the
One You Love'? Then there's 'Feetlebaum', the lead-in music which I'm
blanking on, but I think is the Dance of the Hours.
BLAM! da da da da da da BANG! da da da da da da POP! dada HONK! dada
WHAP da da da da da da da!
Does ANYONE have ANY idea just HOW hard it is to do a serious scene with
Spike Jones running around in your head?! BTDT, Fringies!
Swan
Sick in more than ONE way!
Rat & Swan
Joy wrote:
> After suffering through that commercial for the 3rd time (it was hypnotic -
> I couldn't turn away!) I was at a loss to decide which more horrifying; the
> over-produced chorus of talent-free sproggen, or the relentless "boom-chuck"
> arrangements of the accompaniment. On every song.
Remember when electronic synthesizers *first* came into being? When the
Hammond Organ fellows incorporated them into their instruments and you
could 'cha cha' or 'rhumba' or 'Dixieland' any song you wanted? Even
Chopsticks sounded like the player was an amped up refugee from a
Lawrence Welk Dance-Your-Flab-Off fat farm?
Methinks that's where they got their arrangements! Someone dusted off
his mom's old keyboard and they did some *serious* boogying! :/
Swan
Records like these convince me that music critics do NOT have cyanide
capsules hidden in hollow teeth. If they had, there'd be mounds of dead
bodies!
Joy
Rat & Swan <lab...@pacbell.net> wrote in message
news:39AFD85F...@pacbell.net...
> Remember when electronic synthesizers *first* came into being? When the
> Hammond Organ fellows incorporated them into their instruments and you
> could 'cha cha' or 'rhumba' or 'Dixieland' any song you wanted? Even
> Chopsticks sounded like the player was an amped up refugee from a
> Lawrence Welk Dance-Your-Flab-Off fat farm?
Oh gawd! I had a sproghood friend that had one of these, and when we'd have
sleepovers, we'd play every piece of piano music we knew (there must have
been dozens of 5 note wonders we learned in our obligatory year of piano
lessons) once each with each "tempo" and "style". I'm surprised her mom
never killed us.
> Methinks that's where they got their arrangements! Someone dusted off
> his mom's old keyboard and they did some *serious* boogying! :/
It's the kind of thing I could play (and I'm hopeless at the keyboard) - the
tonic note on the bass line, and then a regular I, IV or V chord on the
treble line. I think there is perhaps some sweatshop where destitute
musicians work, forced to produce cut-rate arrangements for the masses.
<shudder>.
The thing about kids is (forgive me if this sounds in any way pro-sprog)
that between a few years of toddler-hood and early childhood, they are
tremendously suggestible. Their little brains are like sponges for
everything. They don't have any of their own musical taste yet, so the
parent gets to warp him or her with whatever they like. I was raised on a
combination of Creedence Clearwater Revival, Barry Manilow, the Doobie
Brothers, and a mess of classical music. The classical music "stuck". They
never allowed that "kiddie" crap into the house. If parents are driven
slowly insane because their sproggen demand this kind of music (or Disney
dreck, or Barney) they have only themselves to blame for bringing it into
the house. Serves 'em right for not introducing them to "proper" music.
~ Joy
... opinionated
Karlyn Brown
So I'm really not the only one who calls them the Vienna Sausage Boys.
Hmmm. I'm not alone.
Karlyn
(who is reminded of bizarre things when she sees cans of Little Boy
Wieners in stores)
...................................................
"Networking, I'm user friendly,
Networking, I install with ease,
Data processed, truly Basic,
I will upload you,
You can download me."
-Networking, Warren Zevon
Veronique
> The thing about kids is (forgive me if this sounds in any way pro-sprog)
> that between a few years of toddler-hood and early childhood, they are
> tremendously suggestible. Their little brains are like sponges for
> everything. They don't have any of their own musical taste yet, so the
> parent gets to warp him or her with whatever they like. I was raised on a
> combination of Creedence Clearwater Revival, Barry Manilow, the Doobie
> Brothers, and a mess of classical music. The classical music "stuck". They
> never allowed that "kiddie" crap into the house. If parents are driven
> slowly insane because their sproggen demand this kind of music (or Disney
> dreck, or Barney) they have only themselves to blame for bringing it into
> the house. Serves 'em right for not introducing them to "proper" music.
Oh man, does that bring me back! I was raised on classical music, with
time out in the late sixties for Simon & Garfield, Rolling Stones, Dylan,
and the Beatles. Right about the time of Kent State, music went back to
classical. I did take time out for one year as a high school freshman to
listen to the popular top-40s radio station. To this day, if I recognize
a song popular in the 1970s, it was played remorselessly in 1975.
Ever since, a series of S.O.'s have done their best to broaden my musical
palette.
(Oddly enough, I ran my college radio station a few years later. Thank
heavens I never set the format.)
//back to topic// I was forced to take piano lessons all through
elementary school. It was a drag. I was never exceptional. OTOH, only
twenty years later, I am deeply thankful of my ability to play classical
pieces on the piano (the originals, not the one-hand versions!)
V.
--
Veronique Chez Sheep
Love will get you like a
case of anthrax
JesterKat
<veroniq...@my-deja.com> inscribed, in words of cybernetic fire:
>Ever since, a series of S.O.'s have done their best to broaden my musical
>palette.
lol! Mine too. I've had five what-I-would-call-"major" relationships,
and have retained, from each one, one group or artist that I still
listen to...
Peter Gabriel
Shriekback
Jimmy Buffett (yeah, well... I'm in Florida)
Rare Air
Barenaked Ladies
---JesterKat, who managed to bond with Sting and the Dave Matthews
Band all by her little self ;-)
Judy
Joy wrote:
>
> The thing about kids is (forgive me if this sounds in any way pro-sprog)
> that between a few years of toddler-hood and early childhood, they are
> tremendously suggestible. Their little brains are like sponges for
> everything. They don't have any of their own musical taste yet, so the
> parent gets to warp him or her with whatever they like. I was raised on a
> combination of Creedence Clearwater Revival, Barry Manilow, the Doobie
> Brothers, and a mess of classical music. The classical music "stuck". They
> never allowed that "kiddie" crap into the house. If parents are driven
> slowly insane because their sproggen demand this kind of music (or Disney
> dreck, or Barney) they have only themselves to blame for bringing it into
> the house. Serves 'em right for not introducing them to "proper" music.
This is certainly true in my case! I had a Mickey Mouse phonograph
(with the Mickey arm) and my mother gave me all her records to listen
to. I was the only kid who dug Randy and the Rainbows and Neil
Diamond. The only album I had that was geared to kids was K-Tel's "Fun
Rock". It had a cartoon cat on the front, but the songs were "The Lion
Sleeps Tonight" and "Purple People Eater". (Scary truth: I still have
that record). Because I started playing the piano at 7 and learned
nothing but classical and movie tunes, that shaped my tastes too. Where
my love of 80's glam rock came from, I dunno. But at least I wasn't fed
crappy, jingly kiddie songs.
-Judy
--
Drive carefully: 90% of people are caused by accidents.
starcat
>
> : From a remote bunker, Gaspidistra issued the following manifesto:
> : > Has anyone else suffered through the TV commercial for this heinous CD? It's a
> : > Time-Life offering which features sproggen singing with a cheesy pianoesque
> : > accompaniment. They have apparently received no special training in choral
> : > singing. If you don't reach for your mute button in time, you will hear
> : > 10-second snippets from every annoying kiddie song ever written. Be warned.
>
oooh, oooh, there's a commercial around these parts that rivals this
CD one, but in different ways. The Fox station out of Rockford plays
the following almost exclusively between 10 and midnight (at least on
the nights I'm watching): charity ads for the Xtian Children's Fund.
"only 80 cents a day can save this child's life <zoom in on skinny,
large-eyed sprog>"
AAAARRRRRRRRRRG! They run it every f*cking commercial break!!!!!!!!!
Now, I'm not as heartless as some would have the world think - I think
America is the land of excess, and it wouldn't kill us to cut some of
the fat, so to speak - but this ad bugs me to no end. I have to
wonder how much money this group is spending on air time alone.
Probably more than 80 cents. Just think of how many sproglets they
could "save" (in all its meanings) for the money they spend on just
one slot of air time, not to mention the 10+ slots each and every
night. Once an hour... OK, maybe, they gotta pull some suckers in
somehow, and I could see where the station might donate a slot or two
each night. But no station is going to donate as much air time as
these commercials get.
It's also about this time of night that said CD commercial has been
aired. Never seen them both in the same commercial break. Starcat's
crappy ol' TV would be hurled off the balcony at that point...
starcat
Kent
: oooh, oooh, there's a commercial around these parts that rivals this
: CD one, but in different ways. The Fox station out of Rockford plays
: the following almost exclusively between 10 and midnight (at least on
: the nights I'm watching): charity ads for the Xtian Children's Fund.
: "only 80 cents a day can save this child's life <zoom in on skinny,
: large-eyed sprog>"
: AAAARRRRRRRRRRG! They run it every f*cking commercial break!!!!!!!!!
Gawwwwwd, yes! However, I think these 'commercials' are actually
considered "public service announcements" and stations must run X hours
per day of PSAs, so they stack 'em all up at late night. Nevertheless, it
makes it SO annoying to watch Nick at Nite and be bombarded with them.
Another PSA I always change the channel from is the one about spousal
abuse, with the husband screaming at (and apparently hitting) the wife
while the cyoot sprog listens in. I appreciate the awareness brought up by
the ad but the ads REALLY give me the creeps. And those are one PSA I
think NEED to be shown during Prime Time.
Kent
Anthony J. Bryant
Thank you, God, yes! This one creeps me out so badly that I actually dive for
the remote and the mute button when it comes on. I can handle seeing the
sprog huddling on the stairs; I can't handle the All-too real sounding
violence in the kitchen and the mother sobbing. It makes me want to dive into
the TV screen and go kill the man.
I HATE that commercial.
Tony
RobertsonChai
>From: Rat & Swan
wrote,
[snipping the S/M whipping scene]
>
>Does ANYONE have ANY idea just HOW hard it is to do a serious scene with
>Spike Jones running around in your head?! BTDT, Fringies!
>
Spike Jones!!!!!
Now THAT's the music I grew up on. And my parents' big band music and mambo
music by Xavier Cugat.
Spike Jones...I even had some of the 78s from the early 1940s, along with a
1960s LP re-issue.
"Cocktails for Two", William Tell Overture (Feedlebaum was featured there),
"Der Fuhrer's Face", etc.
There were many more songs which I don't have now in my collection. Do you
remember "Leave the Dishes in the Sink, Ma" ? How about one of my all-time
favorites, "Serenade to a Jerk"?
"Laura", with its glamorous Hollywood intro score, was always good for
springing on unsuspecting people.
---Bob
j...@gurevitz.org
> Actually, I've always WANTED to do a hardcore S/M video with whips,
> clips chains and stains... to a soundtrack of Spike Jones and His City
> Slickers!! Can you imagine a whipping scene done to 'You Always Hurt the
> One You Love'? Then there's 'Feetlebaum', the lead-in music which I'm
> blanking on, but I think is the Dance of the Hours.
> BLAM! da da da da da da BANG! da da da da da da POP! dada HONK! dada
> WHAP da da da da da da da!
What you're thinking of is the Indy 500 done to the tune of "Dance
Of The Hours". They threw in "Beetle Baum" at the very end as a
self-reference; they did an *earlier* skit of the Kentucky Derby
done to the "William Tell Overture". Both feature Doodles Weaver
as the announcer...
> Does ANYONE have ANY idea just HOW hard it is to do a serious scene with
> Spike Jones running around in your head?! BTDT, Fringies!
oh the horror...
--
Jim Paradis "Oh no, not another
j...@gurevitz.org Learning Experience!"
http://www.gurevitz.org/jim/index.html
Gutterboy
>> Another PSA I always change the channel from is the one about spousal
>> abuse, with the husband screaming at (and apparently hitting) the wife
>> while the cyoot sprog listens in. I appreciate the awareness brought up by
>> the ad but the ads REALLY give me the creeps. And those are one PSA I
>> think NEED to be shown during Prime Time.
>>
>
>Thank you, God, yes! This one creeps me out so badly that I actually dive for
>the remote and the mute button when it comes on. I can handle seeing the
>sprog huddling on the stairs; I can't handle the All-too real sounding
>violence in the kitchen and the mother sobbing.
This must be the "Dinner is Pizza??" ad. I guess I'm hard-hearted...or maybe
just annoyed at being manipulated by the commercial expecting me to feel sorry
for the eavesdropping sprog while the mother is getting the crap beat out of
her.
Whatever the reason, it's become a running joke between me and a woman friend.
Sometimes, out in public, one of us will say to the other "Dinner? DINNER IS
PIZZA?" and the people around us just cringe.
(Disclaimer: Real domestic violence is Not Funny, and I speak from experience.
That manipulative commercial, however, is -- at least to me. But I'm twisto.)
Judy
Angelmoon wrote:
> x-no-archive:yes
> It makes me angry. It's as though abuse doesn't count unless it's
> overheard/seen by a kid. There are some laws that treat women that way,
> too.
In my experience working at a dv shelter, most of the women only got the
hell out of the situation because their kid was hurt in the melee, or
because the kid was the one calling the police, etc. As if it doesn't
matter that they (the adult) are being hurt, but when a _child_ is
affected, well then, it's time to go.
starcat
> In my experience working at a dv shelter, most of the women only got the
> hell out of the situation because their kid was hurt in the melee, or
> because the kid was the one calling the police, etc. As if it doesn't
> matter that they (the adult) are being hurt, but when a _child_ is
> affected, well then, it's time to go.
>
A twisted alternative to that mentality is to stay in an abusive
relationship *for the sake of the children, the rationale being that a
two-parent household is better for the family than is a single-parent
one, no matter how bad the two-parent situation is. This came from a
woman who had it instilled in her that kids need both parents in their
lives lest they be scarred for life. Lemme tell you, it's equally, if
not more, damaging to children to be witness to/victims of abuse than
to be without the father who does it. This woman's lack of action in
itself is child abuse, if you ask me.
starcat