ADD Newspaper Artical from Toronto, Ontario Canada
Lynda
Just thought I would share this article to the NG for everyone to read. This
article was in the Toronto Star Newspaper (in Toronto, Ontario), but I don't
know the date it was printed.
The friend that forwarded this to me, has NOT met my 2 step-daughters. Amanda is
13 with ADD and Audrey is 8 with ADHD, so personally *I* feel this person has NO
reason to even comment on this situation because they've never been through it.
When I received this article, I phoned the person who sent it to me from
Toronto. I said, "First, thanks for thinking of me and sending this article, but
I have to tell you it's mainly BS. I guarentee you if you came to my house on a
Friday and had planned on staying until late Sunday night, with the ADD/ADHD,
she wouldn't last, and be packing her bags to leave Saturday morning!
ADD/ADHD in my books can NOT be solved over night, and the lack of attention
they get from their parents????? Give me a break!!!! My DH and I do whatever we
can to spend time with the girls, but it's hard because they don't appreciate
it.
Anyway, here's the article. Have a good laugh, I did, and we all deserve it =)
Lynda
(lyn...@erols.com)
This is the article:
MORE THAN MERE SPERM DONORS
Fathers are important to the well-being of daughters. In a recent study,
Canadian scholars made the
earth-shattering discovery that positive attention from dads makes
daughters more open to intimacy
and more comfortable with their sexuality.
Gee, and to think the pervasive feminist belief of the past 30 years - that
fathers are disposable, if not
downright evil- might actually be a myth. How will all those ill-adjusted
daughters handle the news?
The findings of the study, published in the current issue of "The Canadian
Journal of Human Sexuality"
and compiled by Dr. Peter Naus, a social psychologist, and Tanya Scheffler,
a researcher, concluded
the impact of fathers on the emotional, social and sexual development of
their daughters is significant.
Imagine that. Fathers are significant.
We have allowed the pervasive live-and-let-live philosophy to so skew how
we look at the world it's
almost become taboo to say " traditional " families are best ( traditional
being, mom, dad, and 2.3 kids )
To add to the dismay of certain woman, her comes another killer revelation:
Sons need fatherly
support too. In his 1988 book, " Raising Boys ", psychologist Steve
Biddulph makes some
startling revelations.
Following one of his lectures, Bidulph writes he was approached by a man
called Don, who told him
this story:
Don was a truck driver, and for a year earlier, his son, 8, had been
diagnosed with attention deficit
disorder (ADD)
" Don read the diagnosis and, for want of better information, decided it
meant his son Troy wasn't
getting enough attention. That, surely , was what 'attention deficit ' meant!"
Don started spending more time with his son. During school holidays he took
Troy for rides in his
trick with him and on weekends, when Don had often spent the time away with
friends who
collected and rode classic motorcycles, Troy now came along too.
" The good news : Troy calmed down so much in a couple of months that he
came off his Ritalin
medication - he wasn't 'ADD' any longer."
This is not to say every instance of ADD is really " dad-deficit disorder,"
says Biddulph-
but quite a lot are.
Biddulph gives a few more remarkable examples of fathers getting more
involved with their
sons with remarkable results.
This is also not to say those who grew up without fathers around are bound
to screw up.
It's just saying fathers have a positive role to play in the upbringing of
their kids- be they male or female.
If it's impossible for dad to be around, then it's important for all
children - both male and female -
to have loving mentors or role models around, and that doesn't mean
watching Michael Jordan drop
balls into hoops on TV.
Teri Nygaard
is almost 6. He has not been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, but I do have
ADD. We do have suspicians that our son may have it. But his preschool
teacher did not have any concerns after 2 years (we didn't even bring it up
to her). We are keeping an eye on him and will see how kindergarten goes
starting in September. Anyway.........He has been a little stinkweed this
last week. ( And I was off of my depakote during most of this time, and that
definitely does not help! ) There have been extra kids around, and he
does not deal well with that. He loves to have company, but even if we have
a friend for him and a friend for his twin sister, he has an awful time.
The other kids always drift to my daughter because she is so very easy to
get along with. My son on the other hand, has definite ways he wants things
done, and if the child is not willing, he doesn't understand and gets upset.
The child will go off with the others, and my son will not want to join
them. He gets so upset and says that no-one likes to play with him, they
only like his sister, etc. It has really been getting me down this summer,
because I feel so sad for him. I am trying to teach him skills to deal
with it better, but when you are 5, it is just sooooooo hard. Consequently,
I told my husband that he just needs some good one-on-one with him(he is a
perfect angel when he is with Daddy) for some self esteem boosting, etc.
Well, with the fair in town, it has been easy to have them do a lot of that
the last few days. Today, Dad was at work all day and son gave me a few
fits. Dad came home and said,"but he was perfect last night." Yes, of
course, I said. He had your undivided attention. Get him back into the
"daily grind", and he still struggles with groups and numbers of children,
adults, etc.
I agree with you 100%. That kid's ADD did not go away, when he does not
have someone there beside him to keep him on task, help with skills, etc.
The sypmtoms will come glaring back.
Just my 2-cents ,
Teri
Lynda wrote in message <37acf2e4...@news.erols.com>...
SumBuny4Me
to the well being of both sons and daughters), Somehow I do not belive that
the son in the latter part of the article was properly diagnosed with ADD.
Either that, or he had such a mild case of it that the extra attentional
intervention by Dad may have been enough( I have two ADHD sons-one *was* on
meds while learning coping techniques(from age 6 to 10), his brother has a
more intense version of ADHD and is still on a higher dosage than big bro
ever was).
It is possible to have varying degrees of ADHD-sometimes it can be managed
with non-medical interventions, if mild enough. Sometimes(more often)
medical intevention is a necessary *part* of the management techniques. And
a few *might* outgrow it(or simply become proficient at handling a mild
case?)
Buny
Squeaky
longer.", I am testimony to the loving attention BOTH parents gave to
me, especially my ADD parent.
I'm in my 30's and recently got married, sadly not long after the
death of my father. My mom was very much a linear thinker and I just
got along with my father much better. I'd like to think that because
he was ADD, we could connect better emotionally. After college, and me
moving across the U.S., we talked weekly, obviously, there were times
when we disagreed and I really didn't "Appreciate" his input. But
most of the time he was my guiding light as well as my anchor in a
mostly linear world.
It's been over a year since his death and I can tell you that his
guidance is sorely missed. And my husband is now very interested in
learning how to work with an ADD spouse.
All I wanted to say is no matter if they show appreciation or
not...keep expecting their individual best from them and praise,
praise, praise them when they do what is simply expected of them. I
can't emphasize that enough.
Squeaky
P.S. My father learned the hard way...many step fathers...so he just
gave us the attention he wished he had had from a parent or family.
Lynda <lyn...@erols.com> wrote in message
news:37acf2e4...@news.erols.com...