Behavior Modification for ADD

[Warm Fuzzy]

For all the parents who keep looking for "non-medication"
help for their kids, this site does not advocate
unmedicating kids, nor do they say this is a an alternative,
but they do offer alternatives that can be used in
combination with medication or (I suppose without - it is a
free country, after all)

They have a multimedia tape/ workbook, no idea if it is any
good at all. But they also have these parent/child tips I
thought were good. Info on the site is below, and the url,
if you want to go there.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A PARENT, NEVER BEEN ONE AND
DON'T HAVE AN ADD KID. I ALSO AM NOT ASSOCIATED
WITH THIS DOCTOR, BUT HEY, IT LOOKED GOOD TO ME!
;-)

Fuzzy

(Don't you love it when non-parents tell you how to raise
your kids???) :-) Those who can't do, teach!

Guidelines For Parent Child Relationships

•Try to set a side time on a regular basis to do something
fun with your child.
•Never disagree about discipline in front of the children.
•Never give an order, request, or command without being able
to enforce it at the time.
•Be consistent, that is, reward or punish the same behavior
in the same manner as much as possible.
•Agree on what behavior is desirable and not desirable.
•Agree on how to respond to undesirable behavior.
•Make it as clear as possible what the child is to expect if
he or she performs the undesirable behavior.
•Make it very clear what the undesirable behavior is. It is
not enough to say, "Your room is messy." Messy should be
specified in terms of exactly what is meant: "You’ve left
dirty clothes on the floor, dirty plates on your desk, and
your bed is not made."
•Once you have stated your position and the child attacks
that position, do not keep defending yourself. Just restate
the position once more and then stop responding to the
attacks.
•Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too
much. Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired
goal.
•Remember that your behavior serves as a model for your
children’s behavior.
•If one of you is disciplining a child and the other enters
the room, that other person should not step in on the
argument in progress.
•Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal
praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy, food or
money.
•Both of you should have an equal share in the
responsibility of discipline as much as possible.

The "3 Fs" of Positive Parenting

Discipline should be:

•Firm: Consequences should be clearly stated and then
adhered to when the inappropriate behavior occurs.
•Fair: The punishment should fit the crime. Also in the case
of recurring behavior, consequences should be stated in
advance so the child knows what to expect. Harsh punishment
is not necessary. Using a simple Time Out can be effective
when it is used consistently every time the behavior occurs.
Also, use of reward for a period of time like part of a day
or a whole day when no Time Outs or maybe only one Time Out
is received.
•Friendly: Use a friendly but firm communication style when
letting a children know they have behaved inappropriately
and let them know they will receive the "agreed upon"
consequence. Encourage them to try to remember what they
should do instead to avoid future consequences. Work at
"catching them being good" and praise them for appropriate
behavior.

The Parent As Teacher/Coach

See your role as that of a teacher or coach to your
children. Demonstrate in detail how you would like them to
behave. Have them practice the behavior. Give them
encouragement along with constructive criticism.

•Try to set a side time on a regular basis to do something
fun with your children.
•Rather than tell them what not to do. Teach and show them
what they should do.
•Use descriptive praise when they do something well. Say, "I
like how you ____ when you ____" Be specific.
•Help your child learn to express how he feels. Say: "You
seem frustrated." "How are you feeling?" "Are you up set?"
"You look like you are angry about that." "It’s O.K. to feel
that way."
•Try to see a situation they way your children do. Listen
carefully to them. Try to form a mental picture of how it
would look to them.
•Use a soft, confident tone of voice to redirect them when
they are upset.
•Be a good listener: Use good eye contact. (Physically get
down to the level of smaller children). Don’t interrupt. Ask
open ended questions. Repeat back to them what you heard.

•Make sure they understand directions. Have them repeat them
back.

•When possible give them choices of when and how to comply
with a request.

•Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too
much. Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired
goal.

•Develop a nonverbal sign (gesture) that your children will
accept as a signal that they are being inappropriate and
need to change their behavior. (This helps them to respond
to your prompt without getting upset).

The Use of Reward In Positive Parenting

When ever possible try to use reward and praise to motivate
your child to improve their behavior.

For younger children you can use "grandma’s rule." Say,
"When you have picked up all your clothes, you may go out
and play." Be sure you use "when" rather than "if."

Combine reward with time out for serious disruptive or
defiant behaviors. Say, "Every time you ____, you will have
a ____ time out. If you can go the whole (day, afternoon,
etc.) without getting a time-out, you will earn ____..

The First Time Club

If you are having trouble getting your child to do something
when you ask, have him become a member of "The First Time
Club."

Make up a chart with 30 squares.

Tell the child that each time the do something the first
time he is asked, a happy face will be placed in a square.
When all the squares are completed, he will earn a reward.

Mutually agree on the reward. For younger children, you can
place a picture of the reward on the chart, for older
children you can write it on the chart.

Then practice with the child, how he is to behave. "Each
time I ask you to do something, I want you to: (1) Use good
eye contact, (2) Listen quietly, (3) Say OK I will ____.
then (4) Do it." Practice this, making a number of requests.

Then start the program.

Be sure to praise him for each success during practice as
well as when the program starts. By the time the squares are
filled, he will have developed a new habit. When he
completes the program, provide the reward immediately. Take
the chart down and let him have it as part of the reward.
Continue to use praise and encouragement to make sure this
new habit remains and becomes even stronger.

The Family Chip System

If your child is having a lot of difficulty getting along at
home consider using the "Family Chip System." This is a very
powerful tool. When used consistently, most children will
show great improvement within just a few weeks. The program
provides immediate reward for appropriate behavior and
immediate consequences for inappropriate behavior. By the
way, if you have other children around the same age as the
child for whom you are designing this program, put them on
the program as well. Children really like this system.
Parents love the system. Here are the steps to follow to use
this program with your child:

Purchase a box of poker chips from the drug store.

Hold a family meeting to discuss the need for the program.
Tell the children that it will help them to learn to be in
charge of themselves. You can tell older children that this
system is similar to what adults experience: (1) Adults earn
money for working; (2) Adults have to pay fines for breaking
rules like speeding or make a late payment; (3) Adults spend
their money on things they need as well as a few things they
want.

Develop a list of behaviors they will earn chips for. Start
with the morning and then go through out the day looking for
behaviors to reward. These can include positive attitude,
self-help behaviors and chores. If you are using a behavior
modification program for school you can given them chips for
each point earned on that system. Some possibilities are:
getting up on time, brushing teeth, getting ready for school
on time, playing nicely with brother or sister, completing
chores such as feeding a pet or taking out the trash, saying
please and thank you, doing things the first time they are
asked, doing homework without a fuss, getting ready for bed
on time, going to bed on time, cleaning bed room.

Agree on a list of behaviors that result in a loss of chips.
These can include behaviors that are oppostional, defiant or
disruptive. Some examples are: tantrums, yelling, screaming,
fighting, arguing, throwing things, jumping on the
furniture, getting up after bed time, swearing, putting
others down. (Some more serious behaviors will receive a
Time Out as well as a fine).

Agree on a list of privileges they will earn and pay for
with chips. Some privileges will be bought for the day,
others will be bought for a period of time (usually 1/2
hour). These can include: watching TV, playing outside,
computer time, renting their bike or other large toy,
playing a game with a parent, etc.
See Suggestions of Rewards For Kids.

Assign point values to each item on the list. See the sample
bellow:

Earn Chips For

Making Bed        2Picking up bedroom2Brushing teeth
   2Setting the table    4Ready for bed on time    2Going to
bed on time 2Doing things first time asked  1Saying please
and thank you  1

Lose Chips For

Throwing things 4 + Time OutTantrums   4 + Time OutArguing
      2Interrupting        2Running in the house      2

 Privileges To Spend Chips For

Watching TV    5 chips per 1/2 hrPlaying outside  5
chipsRent Bike          5 chips for the dayGoing to friends
 10 chipsPlaying game with parent 5 chips

Practice giving and receiving chips before starting the
program. The practice should be based on the rules for
parent and children provided below:

Rules for Parents When Giving Chips

Be near your child and able to touch him (not 20 feet or two
rooms away).

Look at your child and smile.

Use a pleasant voice tone.

Make sure your child is facing you and looking at you.

Praise your child "Hey that’s great. You’re really doing a
nice job. That’s really helping me." Reward you child with
chips "Here’s 2 chips for doing a great job."

Describe the appropriate behavior for your child so he know
exactly what behavior he is being praised and rewarded for.

Hug your child occasionally or use some other form of
positive touch.

Have your child acknowledge you such as, "Thanks Mom" or
"O.K."

Rules for Parents When Taking Away Chips

Be near you child and able to touch him.

Look at your child and smile.

Use a pleasant voice tone.

Make sure your child is facing you and looking at you.

Explain what was inappropriate such as "Remember you are not
allowed to run in the house because it is not safe." "You
need to learn not to yell and scream so we can enjoy being
together at home."

Be sympathetic. "I know it’s hard to lose chips but that’s
the rule."

Give your child the chip fine.

Make sure your child gets the chip appropriately.

Prompting the appropriate responses will sometimes be
necessary, for example, "Come on, give me a smile--That’s
right."

If a chip loss is taken very well by your child, it is a
good idea to give him back a chip or two.

If your child is too mad or upset to give you the chips,
don’t force the issue. Place your child in time out (to cool
off) and then get the chips.

Rules For Children When Getting Chips

You should be facing your parents, looking at them and
smiling.

You should acknowledge the chips by saying "O.K.," "Thanks,"
or something else pleasant.

The chips should be put in a specified container. (Any chips
left lying around are lost.)

Rules For Children When Losing Chips

You should face your parents, look at them and smile (not
frown.)

You should acknowledge the chip loss with "O.K." or "All
right," "I’ll get the chips," etc. (You must keep looking at
them and be pleasant).

You should give the chips to your parents pleasantly

Post the list of behaviors and chips earned in a convenient
place.

Let your child decorate a paper cup in which to keep their
chips. Place the "bank’s" chips is a jar or bowl and put it
in a place that is out of reach of children.

Start using the program. Feel free to modify the program at
any time by holding a meeting. Sometimes point values need
to be raised or lowered to achieve a goal. You may add or
remove items from the list as well.

After about 6 weeks, you may be able to start short trials
off the system. Say, "Today we are going to try not using
the chip system. If things go well we will try it again the
next day." If the trial is successful continue for about a
week. If things continue to go well, hold a meeting and
celebrate all that you and your child have both gained from
the system. If your child is not ready, continue with the
program.

Note: If your child runs out of chips, have a list of extra
chores they can do to earn chips so that they remain on the
system.

For more information on discipline with children along with
other useful information on parenting, we recommend SOS For
Parents. It is a complete handbook for raising children from
3 to 12 years of age.

the Child Development Institute, which seems to be a
doctor's site who sells behavior modification services,
tapes, training, that kind of thing. from their site: Child
Development Institute was founded by Doctor Robert Myers.
Dr. Myers is a Clinical Child Psychologist with 20 years of
experience working with children, adolescents, families and
parents.

http://www.cdipage.com/adhd.htm

Here are the table of contents

About
Attention Deficit Disorder
(ADD)

What is ADD
Diagnosis of ADD
Causes of ADD
Treatment of ADD
Social Problems & ADD
Long Term Outlook for ADD
Focus: A Non Medical Treatment
Learning DisabilitiesDyslexia & Reading Disorders
Effective Use of Time Out
Communication With Children
Behavior Modification
Famous People with ADD & LD
ADD Support Organizations
ADD Bibliography
Classroom Management of ADD
Neuropsychological Treatment
Cognitive Behavioral Treatment