OTP: A Funny for us Southerners
DeeTee
sure does fit just about any of the states in the south. I was raised
in Florida by two Georgia crackers so it certainly applies to me!
Things I've learned about Kentucky .....
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Kentucky.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Kentucky, plus a
couple no one's seen before.
Squirrels will eat anything.
Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are
ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Fixinto is one word.
There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then
there's supper.
Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're
2.
'Backards and forwards' means I know everything about you.
'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You know you're from Kentucky if:
1. You measure distance in minutes. [It was 40 minutes to Gramma's
house. To this day I don't know how many miles that turned out to be.]
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks. [I still ask Bob to get me
a paper sack when I need a brown bag. He snickers at me and gets what
I want.]
4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one
in it, no matter what time of the year.
5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
9. You know what "cow tipping" is. [blush - guilty]
10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, chili powder, and catsup.
11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page
but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer,
and Christmas. [First time I saw snow I was an adult in the Army.]
15. You know whether another Kentuckian is from east, west, or middle
Kentucky as soon as they open their mouth.
16. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin
wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
18. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor. Example "What kinna coke you want?"
[The first time my sister-in-law (from Ohio) asked me if I wanted a
pop, I thought she was crazy. When I realized what she was asking, I
asked her what kinna cokes she had. She tried to give me a Coke, when
EVERYBODY knows I only drink Pepsi! LOL]
19. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
There are lots more, but you get the picture.
Gwen Love
also have lived in Mississippi, Florida, and now in Alabama.
Gwen
