OTP You might be a New Englander
sweetp...@spamknology.net
Forget Rednecks ... here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say
about New Englanders...
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through
May, you live in New England.
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and
they don't work there, you live in New England.
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live
in New England.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City
for the weekend, you live in New England.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than
once, you live in New England.
If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
and back again, you live in New England.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but
leave both unlocked, you live in New England.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows
how to use them, you live in New England.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit, you live in New England.
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going
80, and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow, you live in New England.
If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter, and road construction, you live in New England.
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
you live in New England.
If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly," you live in New
England.
If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to
all your New England friends, you live in New England.
Received from Peggy Buss.
********************************************************
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it
empties today of its strength."
(Corrie Ten Boom)
Adelle
Comments interspersed.
<sweetp...@SPAMknology.net> wrote in message
news:63b60$48ad9d0f$45491df5$22...@KNOLOGY.NET...
> You Might Be a New Englander if...
>
> Forget Rednecks ... here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say
> about New Englanders...
>
> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through
> May, you live in New England.
Don't they all?
>
> If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and
> they don't work there, you live in New England.
You mean they don't do that everywhere?
>
> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live
> in New England.
Not personally, but my daughter...
>
> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
> who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.
>
> If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City
> for the weekend, you live in New England.
Or North to Canada.
>
> If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
Well, not really. Maybe in the more rural areas. We are in suburbia.
>
> If you know several people who have hit a deer more than
> once, you live in New England.
Uh huh!
>
> If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
> and back again, you live in New England.
Yuppers. More than once.
>
> If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
> raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
Maybe white knuckled, but not flinching.
>
> If you install security lights on your house and garage, but
> leave both unlocked, you live in New England.
Sorry, haven't bothered with lights.
>
> If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows
> how to use them, you live in New England.
Yup, know how to use them and have on more than one occassion.
>
> If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
> snowsuit, you live in New England.
Done this.
>
> If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going
> 80, and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
And the problem with that is...?
>
> If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
> filled with snow, you live in New England.
Of course!!!!
>
> If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still
> winter, and road construction, you live in New England.
Or - If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter/mud
season/sugaring time, and road construction/allergy season, you live in New
England.
>
> If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
> you live in New England.
Not really. Unless you live in a major city, there is no reliable public
transit, so we do have to drive - a lot!.
>
> If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly," you live in New
> England.
Haven't you guys heard of dry wit/understatement?
Adelle
Nann Bell
(in message <6eidnX1t34uGLTDV...@comcast.com>):
> Oh, how true!!
and all apply to the upper Midwest, also - except anything with "New York
City" in it!
>
> Comments interspersed.
same here!
>
> <sweetp...@SPAMknology.net> wrote in message
> news:63b60$48ad9d0f$45491df5$22...@KNOLOGY.NET...
>> You Might Be a New Englander if...
>>
>> Forget Rednecks ... here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say
>> about New Englanders...
>>
>> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through
>> May, you live in New England.
>
> Don't they all?
not down south - hey, there i actually can get a DQ buterscotch milkshake
during the pollen off-season! here the pollen count is always so high during
DQ season, I can't afford adding my milk allergy to the mix.
>
>>
>> If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and
>> they don't work there, you live in New England.
>
> You mean they don't do that everywhere?
agreed. had a major discussion with another woman who, like me, was getting
wood cut at HD a couple of days ago.
>
>>
>> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live
>> in New England.
>
> Not personally, but my daughter...
maybe should have yesterday morning, but the sun got it up above 50 fairly
quickly.....
>>
>> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
>> who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.
hmmmm, haven't had calls for "Sam" in a while. S/he must have graduated and
moved away. We got so many calls for Sam from other teen-sounding voices
that I started a) asking the callers just what Sam's number IS so i could
give it to the folks who called (that really confused them! LOL) and b)
asking folks around town if they had any idea who this Sam might be. It's
all a mystery, but the calls have stopped.
>>
>> If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of New York City
>> for the weekend, you live in New England.
>
> Or North to Canada.
>
>>
>> If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
>
> Well, not really. Maybe in the more rural areas. We are in suburbia.
Actually, we do miles too - weather conditions and time of day make such a
difference in how long it takes. If i have to see a doc in Petoskey in the
winter, I try to schedule it so we aren't driving in dusk or dark because the
route is major deer territory. It takes much longer when you have to drive
slower to watch for & hopefully avoid deer!
>
>>
>> If you know several people who have hit a deer more than
>> once, you live in New England.
>
> Uh huh!
see above......... Mike's hit 2 since we moved up here. (97% of my driving
is daytime when they are much easier to see & avoid. We see them all the
time.
The skunks though are an even bigger hassle...................
>
>>
>> If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
>> and back again, you live in New England.
>
> Yuppers. More than once.
well, we don't always have the window unit in, so don't have that option.
and we're stubborn about not turning on heat May-Sept unless it gets TRULY
cold inside. We've learned most natives around here turn their heat on - and
heat to a warmer temp, than we 2 southerners do!
>
>>
>> If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
>> raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
>
> Maybe white knuckled, but not flinching.
not 75, not these days - driving that fast is lousy for your gas mileage!
>
>>
>> If you install security lights on your house and garage, but
>> leave both unlocked, you live in New England.
>
> Sorry, haven't bothered with lights.
the security lights are to keep from tripping over the animals in the
driveway when walking from your car to the door. Or in our case, to turn on
when we want to know what critter Puddin' is hissing at outside!
And if I keep the door locked, then the UPS guy has to leave my packages
outside rather than inside - and the same for the USPS. Or they have to
bother me by ringing the doorbell instead of just opening hte door and
putting the package in the breezeway.
>
>>
>> If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows
>> how to use them, you live in New England.
>
> Yup, know how to use them and have on more than one occassion.
hell, we've always had jumper cables, wherever we lived. Up north, we also
carry a snow shovel & road salt!
>
>>
>> If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
>> snowsuit, you live in New England.
>
> Done this.
no kids......................
>
>>
>> If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph, you're going
>> 80, and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
>
> And the problem with that is...?
the problem is fuel economy! We drive folks nuts now because we drive 52 on
2 lane highways & 60 on four lanes, but our fuel economy has really improved!
None of the other drivers complaining about the gas prices seem willing to
slow down around us, though.
>
>>
>> If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
>> filled with snow, you live in New England.
>
> Of course!!!!
oh, yeah - and the washboarded gravel roads have that nice smooth layer of
packed ice and snow.
>
>>
>> If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still
>> winter, and road construction, you live in New England.
>
> Or - If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter/mud
> season/sugaring time, and road construction/allergy season, you live in New
> England.
Here it's a bit different - "early winter, mid-winter, late winter/mud
season/sugaring time (yes, Michigan has lots of maple sugaring, including
folks we know who keep us supplied!) - & road construction season actually
lightly overlaps early & late winter or they wouldn't get anything finished.
It's amazing how a road project that takes 2 years down south will be done in
4-5 months here.
>
>>
>> If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car,
>> you live in New England.
>
> Not really. Unless you live in a major city, there is no reliable public
> transit, so we do have to drive - a lot!.
snow blower??!?!?!?! We shovel - it's great exercise! Sometimes shovel for
the older widows in the two houses across from us also.
>
>>
>> If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly," you live in New
>> England.
>
> Haven't you guys heard of dry wit/understatement?
Mike & I now call the down-state region "sub-tropical southern Michigan".
Winter is just so much shorter down there.......... (it really is, about 2
weeks on each end. We drive down there enough to notice!)
--
Nann
remove the Gator cheer to email me
Change everything. Love & forgive.
ANN M
in time rather than miles. Best Friend: "How far is it to Foxwoods?"
Me: "Well, it's one hour to Dotty's house and another 20 minutes after
that".
I forwarded this to a couple of former New Englanders.
Ann
d'huit
"If you know several people who have hit a deer more than
once, you live in New England."
hmmmm . . . a new england "superdeer" that survives being hit once and then
gets hit by more people more than once! or it's a super-depressed deer that
doesn't know how to jump off a cliff.
either of those, or this is really about a michigander who will run over a
deer more than once to make sure it's dead and then, stock his freezer with
it.<g>
kate
<sweetp...@SPAMknology.net> wrote in message
news:63b60$48ad9d0f$45491df5$22...@KNOLOGY.NET...