Thoughts on Old Job
Dennis
two years ago...
I've been thinking obsessively a lot, waiting for new medication to
start working, and I've been thinking about my own role in all the
trouble I had there. I've never made that sufficiently clear here.
Everyone knows you don't hand the boss a nasty letter, right?
*I* did that - TWICE!!!!!! DUHHHHHHH! No wonder I got in
trouble!
In both cases it was because I had anxiety episodes and was too
afraid to just go in and talk to him. It would have saved me so much
trouble if I had.
The second time, it was demented. I was very tense from GAD. When
I saw his reaction, it snapped and I fell into a bad depression for a few
weeks. At least he didn't seem like an exagerrated threat, and I was
able to level with him about my GAD and why I'd done Nasty Letter Two.
He was understanding, saying he'd had trouble with depression.
As for Nasty Letter One,
He heard several exagerrated complaints about me, I gave an
unfortunate answer to his question, he ordered me not to have lunch with
the others (thinking I was making grossly inappropriate remarks and
coming on to young women).
Anyone with any sense would have just asked him what was going on.
We would have had a heated discussion, but we would have worked things
out.
However, I was so tense, I wrote Nasty Letter One, asking for a
conference to be mediated by someone else. I said, "I have not done
anything wrong, and I'm prepared to stand in front of the whole company
and say so."
A lot of people would have thrown me out. Instead, I got his
"intervention", a bizarre episode unless you consider Nasty Letter One.
The way you *really* do the letter exercise is, if there's someone
you have trouble talking to, you write a letter. However, you keep
rewriting it, taking the nastiness out, owning your share of the problem,
maintaining proper boundaries, using "I" talk from assertive
communication, not characterizing the other person or what they do at
all, and other things.
I'm now doing the letter exercise the right way.
Dennis
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V*nessa
"Dennis" <lion_heart_...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:Xns9CB7E88F0294Bl...@130.133.1.4...
Hi Dennis.
I can remember the problems you had with that job. It's good to reflect on
the past and learn how to improve. Well done. Just be careful not to over
analyse it. Writing with an assertive manner, using facts and removing the
emotion is the most effective way to communicate.
Well done. Hope you can move on.
V