Reminders of Them
Lynn Lynn
you go?
I'm sure it will pass some with time.
Mom loved Bread & Butter pickles, tuna cakes, the salads I made for her,
etc. I was making me a salad last night and just started crying. Saw a
jar of the pickles in the store and tears came to my eyes. I've hardly
been able to make a piece of toast for breakfast because that was her
favorite thing to have in the morning.
Just have to get through all the holidays and perhaps I can get myself
straightened out!
Lynn
Steve...has tiger firmly by tail
Yes Lynn,
I would sometimes cry when I saw a reminder. Sometimes I would
totally zone out and pick up two steaks instead of just one, then by
the time they hit the shopping cart it would dawn on me that Mom had
passed and I was only cooking for myself. I am not sure that we ever
"get over" loseing a loved one, I think maybe we just get use to
walking around with part of us missing. It does get better tho, now I
walk by a lobster tank and kinda smile just thinking how much Mom
enjoyed the claws(especially if I would crack them out for her). There
will come a time when you will enjoy the toast and the happy times you
had with your mother with tuna cakes and bread and butter pickles.
It's different for everybody and I suspect different losing a
mother is different from losing one's father. As the time comes nearer
I can't help but wonder what emotions there will be when Dad passes.
Sadness, relief, guilt at feeling relieved?
Strobe
<istev...@cox.net> wrote:
> It's different for everybody and I suspect different losing a
>mother is different from losing one's father. As the time comes nearer
>I can't help but wonder what emotions there will be when Dad passes.
>Sadness, relief, guilt at feeling relieved?
There's no place for guilt - ANYONE normal person would feel relief.
Caregiving is a huge physical and emotional burden, no matter how willingly
undertaken.
And sadness and grief is appropriate when anyone dies.
But Alzheimers is like death in slow motion, we lose a bit more of our loved one
every day, and it goes on for years.
I believe that we've all done a lot of our grieving long before the actual
death, so don't be surprised if you do not feel as bad as you (or others) think
you should.
And with Alzheimers, death marks the final end of an inevitable sequence of
painful events, so relief that you and your loved one have finally reached the
end of that long and difficult road is also totally normal.
As to the constant little reminders of the one who's gone, I can only say that
these get easier to handle with time.
As a caregiver, your whole life revolves around your Dad; there'll be a huge
upset in all your routines when he passes. But you'll build another daily life,
with other interests gradually taking over that big empty space where you Dad
used to be.
When my wife died, she'd been the center of my life for 25 years, everything I'd
hoped for and planned included her.
Tomorrow, she'll have been gone for 7 years.
Now, I've resumed my photography and political interests and can happily think
of her every day, remembering all the fun times we had.
All it takes is time. . .
June
"Strobe" <Str...@nyc.Beep!Beep!.com> wrote in message
news:io7pe55sblfip48bt...@4ax.com...
You are so right. My neighbor lost his mother to Alzheimer's a few months
ago. We went to the funeral home to pay our respects. He was smiling and
very happy for her. This man is well known and respected in the community
and an active member of his church. His whole life is based on his
religious beliefs. Maybe others wouldn't have understood his almost
grateful mood but I did. He knows she's in a better place. But whatever
your faith, you know the suffering is over. Grief is different for
everybody. Sometimes the grieving is before death and sometimes
after.......June