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Message from discussion (OT) That funny Vader - Luke post
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Eric  
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 More options Feb 17 2000, 3:00 am
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.vs.starwars
From: guild12NO.SPAM.DAM...@tx3.com (Eric)
Date: 2000/02/17
Subject: Re: (OT) That funny Vader - Luke post
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On Thu, 17 Feb 2000 03:40:20 -0000, "Talon Karrde"

<Kar...@imperial-centre.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>Who was it that posted that alternative Cloud City conversation between Vader &
>Skywalker?  If you have it can you mail it to me please.
>I remember it had the line,

>Luke: 'I used to bullseye womp rats in my t-16 back home.'

>Vader:  'I won the boonta eve open, the only human to ever fly a pop racer.'

>or something like that.

>Karrde

INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:

A furious lightsaber duel is underway.

DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A
quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into
the
ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes
there's
nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader:  Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke:  He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader:  No... I am your father!

Luke:  No!  That's not true!  That's impossible.

Darth Vader:  Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke:  NOOOOOOO!

Darth Vader:  Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that
        protocol droid of yours?

Luke:  Threepio?

Darth Vader:  Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 9 years
old...

Luke:  No...

Darth Vader:  Nine years old! And what have you done? Look at
yourself,
        no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own
        ship out of the swamp...

Luke:  I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader:  When you were 20!  When I was 10, I single-handedly
        destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke:  Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader:   Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me
what
        I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord
of
        the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

Luke:  Shut up!

Darth Vader:  You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had
                         exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke:  I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon.

Darth Vader:  Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner
of
                         the Boonta Eve Open!  Only human to ever fly
a
                         Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft.  Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader:  Go ahead and jump.  I was wrong... You're not my kid.
                        I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't
mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the
shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader:  And get a haircut!

Eric
remove NO.SPAM.DAMMIT to mail

"Sufficiently advanced technology is often indistinguishable
 from magic." - Clarke's Third Law

"My ethicator machine must've had a built-in moral compromise
spectral release phantasmatron!  I'm a genuis!"


 
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