[OT-Denizens] My Trip to New York
Aron Kerkhof
of hard drinkin', trash movie watchin', and poker playin', here you
go:
http://www.codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0199.JPG
http://www.codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0200.JPG
For reference, Rob has the chip in his mouth, and I have the Strong
Bad shirt on. If you're interested in the details and what the
largest Renaissance Fair in North America looks like, read on for an
incredibly long winded account of my mini-adventure.
If you want to download and look at all the RenFest pics, you can at
http://codefu.com/nytrip/nytrip.zip (17 mb), or you can browse them
individually at http://codefu.com/nytrip.
So, a couple of weeks ago, I got the hair brained idea to go on a bike
(vroom-vroom, not pedal-pedal) trip to NY to see one of my best IRL
friends and one of my best digital friends. My wife and I are
planning a longish, two week trip for our anniversary this year, so I
was wanting to get a handle on what kind of range I could get out of
my butt in an extreme case. I figured that we'd average 400-500 miles
per day on our trip, so the 800 miles to NY would be a worst case
scenario.
Not so bad, really. It was an interesting experience spending 17
hours or so, totally alone, with nothing but the sound of wind
whipping past your helmet. Very sensory deprivation-like, I'd
imagine. I might have gotten a bit loopy during the last hour, as the
song that I'd come up with to remind me of the final sort of complex
sequence of exits and backroads I'd have to take slowly but surely
became operatic in nature. ("EXITTT NINETEEEEEEEEN! OH EXIT
NINETEEEEEEN! YOU KICK THE SHIT OUT OF EXIT EIGHTEEN, CAUSE YOU, YOU
ARE THE EXIT FOOORRRRR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!") I was a bit sore and
stiff, but no worse than if I had done any other all-day physical
activity.
Anyway, arrived safe and somewhat sound, and spent the next day with
said friend, who I will label "B", and his wife, who I'll label "BW".
We decided to go to the RenFaire and do some people watching. Oh,
what people watching you can do.
There are quite a few kinds of people that go to Ye Olde Faires like
this, as far as I can tell. The die hards who mostly get their
costume period right and have weapons, armor, and wardrobe that look
very WETA-ish in its psuedo-authenticity
(http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0135.JPG and
http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0126.JPG), you have girls and guys who
want to be Ye Olde whores (http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0135.JPG,
http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0069.JPG,
http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0083.JPG,
http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0112.JPG), same but who pull it off badly
(http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0074.JPG, ladies, corsets can only do so
much), and the truly confused that have obviously read too much
"Vampyre, the Masquerade" and their hangers on
(http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0135.JPG).
Then, there are the rest of us that are there to enjoy the show.
If you ever go, expect lots of role playing, truly bad cockney
accents, incredibly pushy merchants hawking some ridiculous wares
(http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0198.JPG, though the brass jaberwocky
was kewl, if expensive: http://codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0081.JPG).
The human chessboard was amusing, the jousting very fakey but fun (it
was called by the Three Musketeers who spoke with 'outrageous french
accents' and counted score "in french" by saying "le one! le two! le
three!", etc. The glass blowing and blacksmithing was interesting.
If I were a single geek, I'd definitely make it a point to go, because
man, there are some hot girls in skimpy outfits. I didn't take many
pictures of these, as one, it made me feel creepy, even if I was just
trying to document the experience for my wife, and two, if I had too
many of them said wife would get "medieval" on my ass. But seriously,
there is some quality geek sisters up there, and a shortage of guys
with the balls to hit on them. If you can successfully make the DC10
saving fortitude throw to approach one, you could probably clean up.
Next day was my meeting with Mr. Dalton. After a few attempts at
finding his place, and getting flipped off at least twice, I arrived
at Chateau Rob. Nice place! It was here that I read over his
shoulder some of the hilarity with Mike3, and it was those brief
glances that have lured me back here.
We decide to venture forth to see AvP. Rob, of course, drives like a
man possessed, which is a point of pride to NYers. No worries, I've
already been inoculated with "B"'s driving and the survival sport that
is motorcycling through NYC, so I take it in stride.
The movie going experience was a bit of a culture shock. I had to
redefine what I considered obnoxious behavior (like, walking in 15
minutes late and screaming "Yo Bob! Where the F*$% are ya?" "OVER
HERE!" "WHERE?!?" "HERE, DUMBASS!"), and that was after nearly 45
minutes of commercials and previews. In Indiana, Bob would be
pitchforked, and the theater burnt to the ground. At the theaters I
frequent, a single ad is sometimes tolerated, but is usually booed.
Anyway, the movie was cool, if you didn't think much about it at any
one time and if you tried to forget the utter disregard of cannon from
P1, Alien, and Aliens. The movie would probably be far cooler if you
only knew about P2 and A3-4. As it was, it was merely a good action
movie, instead of the mind blowing geek out it could have been.
Afterwards, we headed out for dinner and drinks. I sheepishly asked
for a Long Island Iced Tea, and the waitress thought I was a complete
dumb ass, which I am. I don't know what I was thinking. It was the
old "do Canadians call Canada Geese just 'geese'?" sort of over
thinking. But I had my two LIIT's, and a really great philly cheese
steak, and had a good time catching up with Rob.
Then we go back to his place and play poker with his brother and
quasi-sister-in-law, which was awesome. There were at least two epic
showdowns between Rob and his bro, in which their crazy brand of wild
cards enabled royal flushes to be done in with a five of a kind.
Tragically, in the end, Rob was vanquished. I lost six bucks, but
counted myself lucky.
It was hilariously cool though. Rob's bro and his SO are almost
exactly like the boston teenagers from the Jimmy Falon / Rachael Drech
SNL skit, only with different accents. Though apparently, I sound
like a cowboy to them, which I found hysterical, ya'll. I piled on a
couple of beers and rum and cokes, or maybe whisky and cokes? to my
previous BAL, played terrible poker, and laughed a lot. A LOT.
I then passed out on Rob's couch. Thanks again, bro! Seriously, Rob
is one of the nicest guys IRL as he is online.
I headed out early next morning, got caught in rain and accidents for
about four hours, then was pulled over by Pennsylvania's finest after
I got a bit ham-fisted with the throttle in a backfired attempt to
make up lost time. The bastard had the nerve to chat me up about my
bike for a few minutes after he handed me the $120 ticket. But after
that final bit of bad luck, the streak was snapped, and the rest of
the ride home was uneventful.
NY and Penn are absolutely beautiful to ride through, and I found that
people treat you really nice when you're on a bike that's packed down
like the clampett's truck and you're obviously hundreds of miles from
home. A cop in NYC pulled up to me as I was sitting still in
semi-inspired traffic jam and said he'd look the other way if I lane
split about a quarter mile and used a three foot break in the dividing
wall to get off the expressway and on to the local route. That
probably saved me two hours of being wet.
C.S.Strowbridge
> First, if all you're interested in seeing is Rob and me after a night
> of hard drinkin', trash movie watchin', and poker playin', here you
> go:
>
> http://www.codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0199.JPG
> http://www.codefu.com/nytrip/DSCF0200.JPG
>
> For reference, Rob has the chip in his mouth, and I have the Strong
> Bad shirt on.
You could have warned us the images were so huge. I don't download images
that big unless I get to see a naked chick, and all I saw here was a pair
of boobs.
C.S.Strowbridge
Dalton
Asssssssssss-hoooooooooooooole!
--
Rob "Uncle Roby" Dalton
http://daltonator.net
"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the
line is drawn and cross it deliberately." --George Carlin
Dalton
Great writeup. Glad you enjoyed yourself sucka.
The Baron
That's the best joke you've ever made.
Aron Kerkhof
>that big unless I get to see a naked chick, and all I saw here was a pair
>of boobs.
Burn! Anyway, who's still looking at static p0rn? You're a big boy
with bandwidth. If you're going to waste time downloading stuff with
nekkid chicks, head over to the multimedia section...
Aron Kerkhof
bit more notice this time.
C.S.Strowbridge
>>You could have warned us the images were so huge. I don't download
>>images that big unless I get to see a naked chick, and all I saw here
>>was a pair of boobs.
>
> Burn!
It was so easy I felt embarrassed as I was typing it.
> Anyway, who's still looking at static p0rn? You're a big boy
> with bandwidth. If you're going to waste time downloading stuff with
> nekkid chicks, head over to the multimedia section...
You need a bit of both. Even with broadband, static images will always be
of higher quality than multimedia. I've got images that are 2400 x 3000,
you're never going to find a movie with a res that high.
C.S.Strowbridge
Aron Kerkhof
<csstro...@shaw.ca> wrote:
>You need a bit of both. Even with broadband, static images will always be
>of higher quality than multimedia. I've got images that are 2400 x 3000,
>you're never going to find a movie with a res that high.
Not for another, oh... five years anyway. My question is, where do
you find a display with a res that high? Lordy! And if you're
printing it out, you might as well buy it pre-wrapped in cellophane at
the local truck stop.
Dalton
> Yup! Next time I'm in town, I'll drop you a line, and try to give a
> bit more notice this time.
Yeah, could have gotten more than myself in the bargain :)
Dalton
> On Thu, 02 Sep 2004 18:14:03 GMT, "C.S.Strowbridge"
> <csstro...@shaw.ca> wrote:
>
>
>>You need a bit of both. Even with broadband, static images will always be
>>of higher quality than multimedia. I've got images that are 2400 x 3000,
>>you're never going to find a movie with a res that high.
>
>
> Not for another, oh... five years anyway. My question is, where do
> you find a display with a res that high?
Times Square.
C.S.Strowbridge
> Aron Kerkhof wrote:
>> "C.S.Strowbridge" wrote:
>>>You need a bit of both. Even with broadband, static images will
>>>always be of higher quality than multimedia. I've got images that are
>>>2400 x 3000, you're never going to find a movie with a res that high.
>>
>> Not for another, oh... five years anyway. My question is, where do
>> you find a display with a res that high?
>
> Times Square.
I like the way you think.
C.S.Strowbridge
Dalton
Graham Norton beat me to it already :)
C.S.Strowbridge
> C.S.Strowbridge wrote:
>> Dalton wrote:
>>>Aron Kerkhof wrote:
>>>>>You need a bit of both. Even with broadband, static images will
>>>>>always be of higher quality than multimedia. I've got images that
>>>>>are 2400 x 3000, you're never going to find a movie with a res that
>>>>>high.
>>>>
>>>>Not for another, oh... five years anyway. My question is, where do
>>>>you find a display with a res that high?
>>>
>>>Times Square.
>>
>> I like the way you think.
>
> Graham Norton beat me to it already :)
Then I like the way you steal ideas from other people.
C.S.Strowbridge
Dalton
That's you/
Graeme Dice
> Afterwards, we headed out for dinner and drinks. I sheepishly asked
> for a Long Island Iced Tea, and the waitress thought I was a complete
> dumb ass, which I am. I don't know what I was thinking. It was the
> old "do Canadians call Canada Geese just 'geese'?" sort of over
> thinking.
Well, usually you only add the Canada if you need to make the
distinction between them and Snow geese. Or else you can always call
them "Honkers".
Graeme Dice
--
Newsgroup:rec.humor.funny
From: lar...@imsi.com (Larry Martell)
Actual listing in the TV section of the Marin (CA) Independent-Journal:
Movie "The Wizard of Oz": Transported to a surreal landscape, a young
girl kills the first woman she meets, then teams up
with three complete strangers to kill again.