MSTed: Dear Isabella III [Ratliff]
Adam Cadre
> Dear Isabella,
> Marrissa finally broke down.
Crow: Guess we'll have to have her destroyed.
Mike: Off to an awfully dark start, aren't we?
Crow: Hey, I could've said we'd have to put her out to stud.
[all shudder]
> After speending two months acting like a Vulcan,
Tom: You mean wooden and showing no trace of personality? All
Ratliff's characters act like that!
> she suddenly started crying when Captain Picard complimented her
> prize winning science project.
Crow [as Marrissa]: "Daa-aa-aad! You're making me look like a geek
in front of the whole school! Now I'll never be
popular!"
> Poor Captain. He gives glowing praise to his adopted dauther
> and she breaks out in tears.
Mike: "Good job, daughter" is "glowing praise"?
Tom: Sure. Remember, we're dealing with Ratliff here. He thinks "your
latest story was marginally less mind-bogglingly awful than usual"
is a rave review.
> To make matters worse, Marrissa fell asleep while he held her on his
> lap,
Mike: Uh, boy. Ratliff once again lives out his fantasies through
ol' Jean-Luc.
> attempting to comfort her and having no idea why she was crying.
Tom: Makes sense. Humbert could never figure out why Dolly was
crying either.
> While it was obvious that the Captain cares for her, I don't think he
> ever thought that he'd have Marrissa cry herself to sleep in his lap.
Crow: Yeah, usually you'd have to pay an extra $50 for something like
that.
> Any way, Marrissa is returning to normal now.
Tom: Wiping out alien races, obsessively recounting her accomplishments,
crushing all who stand in her way...
> She's laughing at Shayna's practical jokes again,
Mike: Ha. Whoopee cushion. Fun-nee.
> and woe to the crewman whose holodeck adventure extends into her
> training time.
Crow: Just yesterday she threw a naked and disoriented Geordi LaForge
out into the hall!
> She still hesitates when mentioning someone's parents, and has a sad
> look in her eyes,
Mike: Sad, psychotic, same difference.
> but she is no longer hiding it.
> Now if I could get her to get out some more ...
Tom: Out? Out where? Into the screaming vacuum of space?
Crow: We can only hope.
> ____
> / |/ / Your Friend,
> / / _ _
> | / / | /_ / |
> \___/ /\_/\/\/ /_/\/\/
Mike: Dear Clara, Why do your letters always revolve around Marrissa?
Don't you have a life of your own? Please, don't write back
till you've gotten over this dangerous fixation. Your friend,
Isabella. PS: There's no such thing as strawberry juice.
-----
Adam Cadre, Durham, NC
http://www.duke.edu/~adamc
JAREK
One word: brilliant!
Stephen Ratliff
My traditional respons to the story. It's directed out of ASC.
Adam Cadre (ad...@acpub.duke.edu) wrote:
: > Dear Isabella,
: > Marrissa finally broke down.
:
: Crow: Guess we'll have to have her destroyed.
: Mike: Off to an awfully dark start, aren't we?
: Crow: Hey, I could've said we'd have to put her out to stud.
: [all shudder]
:
: > After speending two months acting like a Vulcan,
:
: Tom: You mean wooden and showing no trace of personality? All
: Ratliff's characters act like that!
:
: > she suddenly started crying when Captain Picard complimented her
: > prize winning science project.
:
: Crow [as Marrissa]: "Daa-aa-aad! You're making me look like a geek
: in front of the whole school! Now I'll never be
: popular!"
:
: > Poor Captain. He gives glowing praise to his adopted dauther
: > and she breaks out in tears.
:
: Mike: "Good job, daughter" is "glowing praise"?
: Tom: Sure. Remember, we're dealing with Ratliff here. He thinks "your
: latest story was marginally less mind-bogglingly awful than usual"
: is a rave review.
I've put you in for a commendation is as much praise as it gets. The
later doesn't fit, so the former has to do. (I sat though 30 hours
of TNG to determine this... if you think I need to do more let me know,
I'll stay up and watch more)
:
: > To make matters worse, Marrissa fell asleep while he held her on his
: > lap,
:
: Mike: Uh, boy. Ratliff once again lives out his fantasies through
: ol' Jean-Luc.
Nope, just following real life expreince again. I was an aide in 4th
grade Sunday School when an girl who shall remain nameless was told of
her mother's death, by the parish priest (Her father was in a coma)
:
: > attempting to comfort her and having no idea why she was crying.
:
: Tom: Makes sense. Humbert could never figure out why Dolly was
: crying either.
:
: > While it was obvious that the Captain cares for her, I don't think he
: > ever thought that he'd have Marrissa cry herself to sleep in his lap.
:
: Crow: Yeah, usually you'd have to pay an extra $50 for something like
: that.
Crow really should spend some time in time out.
:
: > Any way, Marrissa is returning to normal now.
:
: Tom: Wiping out alien races, obsessively recounting her accomplishments,
: crushing all who stand in her way...
:
: > She's laughing at Shayna's practical jokes again,
:
: Mike: Ha. Whoopee cushion. Fun-nee.
:
Hey, they're 12 and 10 years old ... a whoopie cushion fits with that
age. Of course that's not Shayna's only joke.
: > and woe to the crewman whose holodeck adventure extends into her
: > training time.
:
: Crow: Just yesterday she threw a naked and disoriented Geordi LaForge
: out into the hall!
ROTFL
:
: > She still hesitates when mentioning someone's parents, and has a sad
: > look in her eyes,
:
: Mike: Sad, psychotic, same difference.
:
: > but she is no longer hiding it.
: > Now if I could get her to get out some more ...
:
: Tom: Out? Out where? Into the screaming vacuum of space?
: Crow: We can only hope.
:
: > ____
: > / |/ / Your Friend,
: > / / _ _
: > | / / | /_ / |
: > \___/ /\_/\/\/ /_/\/\/
:
: Mike: Dear Clara, Why do your letters always revolve around Marrissa?
: Don't you have a life of your own? Please, don't write back
: till you've gotten over this dangerous fixation. Your friend,
: Isabella. PS: There's no such thing as strawberry juice.
:
Humm... 3 letters and you see a pattern. Well forget about it. The
next one is about Alexander.
Stephen
--
Stephen Ratliff CS Major, Radford University.
srat...@runet.edu Radford, Virginia 24142-7496
rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc's polite target. Marrissa Stories Author
http://www.cs.runet.edu/~sratliff/
FAQ Maintainer for alt.startrek.creative FAQs/
Index Maintainer as well index/
http://aviary.share.net/~alara/
ASC Awards run from 2/02/97 to 3/19/97 see alt.startrek.creative for
details.
"I assure you that at the first sign of betrayal, I will kill him
(Garak). But I promise to bring the body back intact."
"I assume that's a joke."
"We'll see."
-Worf and Sisko, DS9's "In Purgatory's Shadow"