[MSTing] Mos Eisly/Ten Forward

[Zach Wilson]

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For those of you who know what MSTings are, hope you enjoy this one. For
those of you that don't... Well... Read ahead and find out.

This is a MSTing of a Star Trek/Star Wars crossover that's well...
Crappy. It involves a few made up characters and Q. Plus it's written by
Clare Mosely, who's main fan fiction area was the "Jedi Lover"
chronology.

Oh, yes, if you like this, check out the rest of my MSTings at
http://sqx.simplenet.com/mstings

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MSTing by "DStalker"
Mail responces to ro_...@hotmail.com
To fully enjoy this MSTing, make sure you can see this entire line on your monitor. Enjoy!
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(SOL)
(Crow is just lying on the desk with a comic book "Archie" next to him He appears to be asleep.)
CROW: Snores.
(Appearances are right, Crow is asleep. Mike and Servo walk in, realize he's asleap.)
CROW: No, no, I'll never join you!! Your not my-
(Jolts to alertness)
CROW: What? Where's the ship?
MIKE: What do you mean where's the ship? We're orbiting over Deep 13.
CROW: No apes? No monkeys? Any makacks?
(Tom and Mike look at each-other)
TOM: Nooo...
CROW: Good, I just had a bad dream.
MIKE: Tell us about it. I have a couple of minutes to spare.
CROW: There were these apes, and Dr. F's mom and explosions and Roger Corman movies and these
brain guys with white skin and spoons and some relative of yours named Lydmilla.
BOTH: What?
CROW: And you were there, and you were there, and you too and you and-
MIKE: Stop that thought Crow, the Menendezes are calling.

(D13)
DR F: Just Lyle Mike. Remember the incident with Torgo and....

(SOL)
CROW: Oh, yeah, no star children there are there?

(D13)
DR F: What? I don't have time for witty banter today, I've got a broken tailbone.

(SOL)
MIKE: How'd you?

(D13)
DR F: Completely ignoring my 'mums advise, I leaned back in a chair. It kinda slipped.
Anyway, your fan fic this today is a Star Wars/Star Trek fan fic by one of the most
painful writers I can find, Clare Mosely. Followed by the sequel to Coruscount/Earth.
Read it and weep Nel-stone!!!

(SOL)
MIKE: Fan fic sign!!!!
CROW: What's with the Capt. Janeway- Oh yeah! AHHHH!

*.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1....

>Mos Eisley/ Ten Forward
>A Star Wars/ Star Trek: The Next Generation crossover
>By: Clare Moseley

TOM: Dr. F was right, I already fear her name.

>Disclaimer: Well, here it is. The disclaimer. Okay, I don't own any of the
>characters in this story.

CROW: She'd like to think she does though.

> Except maybe the first name and the personality of Myna
>Skywalker.

CROW: Yet another fake relative of a main character brought to you by the self
called Clare "Myna Skywalker" Mosely.

> The other characters are either own by Lucasfilm Ltd.
>and Paramount Pictures. I have nothing to give to the people who made
>these universes. All I can give you is my stories.... and my name on a
>contract for a book deal......

(Mike and the bots snicker)
TOM: Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

> Warning! There is spoilers in here from my
>stories Jedi Lover, Skywalker Legacy and Bonds of a Family. Read with
>caution!____________________________________________________

MIKE: I wonder how long it will take Dr. F to find those.
DR F's voice: I already have!

>Luke Skywalker sipped his Earth brandy. It was a lot different than the
>Corellian Brandy he was used to having Han Solo, his brother in law, give
>him.

TOM: This is after Return of the Jedi.
MIKE: That means we won't have a vague Vader-like character in this.

> Luke was on the USS Enterprise, on a mission for his sister and Han's wife,
>Leia Organa Solo. Leia was leader of the New Republic and she hoped to ally the
>Federation with them.

TOM: We have a plot right off the bat, we might actually be better than the other ones.

> Thought the galaxies were far apart, if an
>alliance could be made the remains of the Empire could be destroyed. At first
>Luke didn't understand why HE had to go. He had many other important things to do.

CROW: Like laundry, and buying corn holders.

> Like running his academy and spending time with his new
>family. He and Leyta had only been married eleven months ago. But Leyta
>said it would be like the honeymoon they never had. Yeah, sure, their sixteen
>year old daughter, Myna came along.

MIKE: Married eleven months, yet they had a sixteen year old daughter? Explain that one Clare.

> Myna came along for obvious reasons.

TOM: What are those exactly?

> She had only entered it
>timeline a month ago. Myna had been sent back in time fifty six years when she
>was a month old. She then aged sixteen years and was sent back to the future.

MIKE: And that's supposed to explain why she's going along?

> In this timeline she was only two months old. But her body and mind were sixteen.

CROW: Well of course... what?!

> It was hard to explain and Luke would usually just not tell
>people. Luke took another sip of his brandy. Boy, this stuff tasted more
>disgusting then the stuff Han gave me.

MIKE: The stuff Han gave Clare?

> Data walked slowly into Ten Forward. He nodded to Guinan, the
>bartender,

TOM: If we're reading this, don't you think we would no that already?

> then noticed there were no seats available. Except for one. It was
>at a table with a blond man wearing all black. The man seemed to be engrossed
>in a small holo on the table. He had just turned it on.

CROW: Turned it on?
MIKE: Ahem.
CROW: I won't.

> Data
>couldn't hear what the holo was saying, but he saw lush, green land from the holo. He
>may of heard the words 'Princess, Leyta and Jedi' but he had no idea what any
>of the words but Princess mean. Data bent over to whisper to Guinan

MIKE: (Data) Who's the hot individual over there?
TOM: Are you insinuating that Data is gay?
MIKE: Yes.
TOM: Just making sure.

> "Who is that blond man sitting at that table?'

MIKE: That was bloody close to what I just said.

> Guinan replied
> "His name is Luke Skywalker. He is a representative of the New Republic
>in Lucasin Galaxy. He is here to try and start an alliance with the Federation."

CROW: Lucasin galaxy? That's... actually fairly clever.

> Data nodded, "Oh, well. That information in quite satisfactory,
>Guinan, Thank you."
> Data walked towards the table. He said to Luke. "Hello, I was
>wondering if I could sit here."

MIKE: <Luke> Sure you can sit here. If you touch the right leaf in front of the
gold Buddha. Don't pick the one with the virus on it!

> Luke turned off the holo, which Data could now tell it was about the
>history of an ancient planet called Janaya. Luke shrugged and said, Why not?"

TOM: You know, Data can tell, but the READERS CAN'T!!

> Data sat down then said, I forgot to tell you my name. I am
>Commander Data."

CROW: (Data) I'm an android, if I freeze up. Put this disk in me and boot me up.

> Luke smiled. "Well, it's nice to meet you Data. I'm Luke Skywalker.
>I'm glad to meet a HRD under more pleasant circumstances."

TOM: HRD of cattle?
CROW: Ya, I've HRD of cattle, aren't they plant eating mammals used to make beef?

> Data looked puzzled, the new emotion chip was really working

MIKE: He looked puzzled all the time. It's nothing new!

> "An HRD? What ever do you mean? I am afraid I do not understand."

TOM: (Data) Technically it's a gaggle of androids.

> Luke hit his forehead. He exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry Data. You must
>just call yourself a droid, right? In my galaxy we call you type of Droid a Human
>Replica Droid."

CROW: (Data) Well in my galaxy we're called Mandroids.
MIKE: Wasn't that a bad guy in a Mega Man game? (shakes head) I played to many video
games before being shot into space.
CROW: You play a lot now!

> Data looked puzzled. He then said, "I do not call myself a "droid" Mr.. Skywalker.
>I call myself an android."
>
> Luke shrugged,"Well, they mean the same things. But you are
>probably the nicest HRD I have ever met."
> Data asked, "Why is that, sir?"

CROW: (Data) I'm not bad, I was just programmed that way.

> Luke sipped his drink. "The first HRD I ever met was named Guri,
>she tried to kill me. Then the second HRD I met was named Carolyn
>Millimen. She tried to kill my wife. Then, I met you."

TOM: Yup, this is a sequel.
CROW: Let's get out of here..

6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. *..

(SOL, Mike and the bots are playing Chinese Checkers when suddenly the ship rocks.)
MIKE: Woah. Cambot give me rocket number nine!
(Outside shot of the SOL a big LA City bus is floating into space colliding with them)
MAGIC VOICE: Call coming in on Hexfield.
(Hexfield opens to reveal a bus. There is only one person on it, Keanu Reeves.)
KEANU: Um.. like hello?
MIKE: Yes?
KEANU: Okay dude, there was like this bus, and it had people on it, and they were saved.
MIKE: Yeah...
KEANU: But like the bus didn't stop, and I needed a ride to like, my job at Carl's Jr's.
TOM: Uh, huh.
KEANU: Then I got a call that said if I went under fifty, It'd like explode... So I
figured I could have some fun, so I hit this ramp a little too hard.
MIKE: And you name is....
KEANU: Oh, I forgot I'm like Bill. I was in a movie or two.
CROW: I remember. They weren't very good.
KEANU: Anyway, I'd like want some fuel, other wise I'm gonna like... die.
MIKE: Sorry we can't spare it.
KEANU: But Dude I-
(SOL rocks with explosion.) CROW: It's to late for that know.
(Suddenly a phone booth crashes down, barely missing Mike. It opens to reaveal..)
KEANU: Hey Dude, I asked for help and didn't get any. What's your problem dude?
(Keanu belts Mike in the jaw, dropping him, then takes of in the phone booth)
CROW: Well, that was interesting. (Movie sign)
TOM: Movie sign!!!!

*.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6..

TOM: You need some ice for that honey?
MIKE: No, I'll be fine.

> Data nodded.
> "Fascinating."

MIKE: Well, no.

> Just then a tall, blond teenager entered Ten Forward. She also did
>not wear a starfleet uniform. From what Data could tell it was the uniform of
>a New Republic pilot.

MIKE: He just met his first person from the new Republic!
CROW: Just as bad a See-Threepio in that Sliders/Star Wars one by Clare.
MIKE: Don't remind me.

> The girl spotted Luke and walked over.
> "Hi, Dad."
> Luke smiled. He then looked at Data and said, "Oh, Commander
>Data, this is my daughter, Myna Skywalker.

TOM: a.k.a. Clare the Flare.

> Myna, this is Commander
>Data." Myna nodded in recognition.
> Data asked, "Are you a member of a fleet, Myna.

CROW: Yes! You just knew that she was of the New Republic military! Yeesh!

> I see you wear the
>uniform of some type of military from the New Republic."
> Myna shook her head. "I was the captain of a space fleet from the
>planet Alderaan a long time ago."

MIKE: Ouch, that's gotta hurt. She... She still wears her uniform? That's like
losing somebody in a flood then becoming a swimming instructor!

> Then a voice came out of nowhere.
> "Yes, a very long time. Its probably been sixty years since I saw the
>illustrious Myna with no last name."

TOM: I have a feeling we're not being let in on something.

> Myna closed her eyes and mouthed the words "Not again."
> "Q, I should have noticed your foul stench when I entered this
>galaxy."

ALL: Q?!? NOOOOOOO!!!!!

> The form of Q appeared next to Myna. He wore what looked to be a
>cross between a Starfleet uniform and a New Republic pilot's uniform.
>
>"Well, well, well. If it isn't Myna the Mortal Q."

TOM: She's a Q? Oh, man....

> Myna put her hands on her hips. "Q, I told you once, now I'll tell you again.
>I'm not a mortal Q. I am a Jedi. Which I must say, is a little more respectable
>than a Sith "like Q."

CROW: What? I think those are the missing quotation marks from earlier.

> "Sith" like!" Q exclaimed. "I am far from a Sith like Q. I'm the most powerful
>being in the universe. You Mortal with no last name."

MIKE: I still don't get it. Is Q a Sith? Or Myna, or Data? I'm really confused.

> "You only think you are the most powerful being in the universe. And at least
>I have a name, and not an initial, Q!"
> Q clutched his heart in sarcasm.

TOM: I wish he'd clutch it in pain!

> "I'm hurt deeply Myna! I can not
>believe you would think some cheap shot at my title would hurt me."
> "And for your information Q. I have a last name. It happens to be Skywalker."
> Q laughed, "Skywalker! You meant like that pitiful guy who blew up
>your "all powerful" Death Star!"

CROW: So it was Myna's Death Star? Wasn't it Darth Vader's?

> Luke got up out of his seat. "I'm that pitiful guy."
> Q laughed again . "You sir, are laughable. Especially for siring this
>excuse for a powerful being."

MIKE: <Q> My English accent comes in and out you bloody git!

> He pointed at Myna. Myna yelled "Okay, Q! That's it.

CROW: <Myna> It's butt kickin time!
MIKE: <Q> You wanna take it outside Jedi?

>Let's see who really greater. Me or you. If I win you got to stop with this
>Greater than thou attitude of yours. And if you win you can make fun of me all
>you want. For a week." She turned to the group of people who was looking
>at her. It included Dr. Beverly Crusher, Commander William Riker and Deanna Troi.

TOM: The Professor and Mary Ann. Here on Gilligan's Isle!!

> Myna said, "What, he's immortal. I don't want him bugging me the
>rest of my life."

TOM: Who's immortal?

> Deanna turned to Beverly and whispered,
> "It's about time. I'm getting so sick of Q."

TOM: Q58? I love Hogan's Hero's. (Authors note: Let's see how many Sacromentens
read these things)

> "Sure, Myna. Let's go."
> Riker yelled, "Q!"

CROW: Just when she stopped using the word said, it got even more confusing!

> Just as Luke yelled, "Myna!"
> Q turned to Riker and said, "I guess you want me to leave the
>pathetic kid alone, eh, Billy Boy?"

TOM: Bill Clinton? In ten forward? Set phasors to shake & bake!

> Myna whined, much like her father, "Oh Dad! Why can't I kick his
>butt?"
> Q turned to Myna, "It's been sweet, Mortal. But I have to go help
>Jean'Luc. He is on the planet Tatooine right now, negotiating an alliance
>with your Princess Leia. See you."

MIKE: Why would he be on Tatooine? Coruscount is the capital of the New Republic.
CROW: He's probably avoiding the Sliders.
MIKE: Good point.

> Q snapped his fingers. He disappeared and Myna swiveled around
>and left Ten Forward. Data looked at Luke, "Mr. Skywalker, how did you
>know I was an android? I did not tell you."
> "I can see many thing other can't, Data. Plus, Guinan told me."

ALL: Wah, wah, waaaaahh.

> Luke finished off the last of his Brandy and got up and left.

CROW: (Luke) Exit, stage left.
MIKE: Let's exit too.

6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. *...

(Before reading this, keep in mind that this took place before season 7 began, hence late
1995)
(SOL Crow is sitting on a bunch of cushions with a strange hat on)
TOM: Hello all, welcome to the SOL. Due to his dream, Crow thinks he's
phycic.
MIKE: So, Crow, predict the movies of the future.
CROW: Gotcha Mike. (Concentrates) The top movie of ninety-six will be directed by the guys
who made "Star Gate" (Servo and Mike Snicker) It will star the fresh Prince of Bel Air.
MIKE: What about the Oscars?
CROW: The Oscars will be swept by a three hour long foreign film. It's competition
will be.... a Australian film about a pianist, a Tom Cruise comedy, a British movie
about adoption.... and something called Fargo.
TOM: Sure Crow, what ever you say. (To Mike) Can you believe this?
MIKE: Nope. Crow, how about TV?
CROW: Brooke Shields will get her own show... So will Arsinio Hall....
Buffy the Vampire Slayer "The Series"....
TOM: I don't believe a single- (Alarms)

MIKE: Fan fic sign!
CROW: A cartoon about a Texas propane seller will- movie sign!

*.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6..

CROW: People will be dissapointed that Madonna did not get an Oscar.
MIKE: Sure Crow what ever you say..

> Jean Luc could not see why Leia Organa Solo wanted to met here.
>The small space cantina filled with all different kind of strange and
>dangerous creatures.

TOM: Strange and non-human looking aliens.

> He had to stop some small creature called a Jawa
>from taking his blaster. Jean Luc couldn't say anything good about the
>climate either, Tatooine was close to the twin suns of Tatoo I and II.

MIKE: Groan.

>Jean Luc decided to try some of the local drinks. He discovered that the most
>expensive drink on Tatooine ended up being water! The desert planet's main
>profession was moisture farmers.

CROW: But other products include sugar cane, wheat, and rum.
MIKE: Come to Tatooine, Progress Planet, USA

> Jean Luc chose some Hapan Spiced Ale. It was supposed to be
>good. And it was cheap. Only half a credit. He had to be careful how many
>credits he spent. Jean Luc sipped his drink as a petite brunette walked in. She
>wore a white dress. Leia Organa Solo. Leia spotted Picard and slide into the spot
>across from him.

TOM: (Leia) Is that a phaser is your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

> "I'm sorry Captain Picard that we could not meet on the capital,
>Coruscant, but I am trying to get Tatooine to join the New Republic. And
>Tatooine is a bit closer to your own galaxy."
> Picard nodded as he heard a man in the corner yell, "I won again,
>Kersan. That's five thousand credits!"

CROW: You know, I have the feeling that this is the sequel to many things.

> Leia shook her head in dismay. The man from the corner walked
>over to the table. He slipped into the spot next to Leia.

TOM: (Han) Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

> "Captain Picard, this is my husband, Han Solo."
> A voice said, "Jean'Luc! I'm glad I finally found you!"
> Then a man wearing a starfleet uniform appeared.

MIKE: Out of a cloud of smoke. He was Ensign Rando!

> Jean Luc said, "Q! I'm busy trying to make an alliance with this
>galaxy. Would you kindly leave!"
> Q sat down right in the spot next to Jean'Luc.

CROW: Boy, this is a big table!

> "But, Mon Capitain! I'm trying to help you from making a great
>mistake. You do not want to make an alliance with these people. I just
>finished being heckled by a young hell cat from this galaxy that is one the
>Enterprise. I think the niece of the Head of State of the New Republic should
>have more respect for a person of my stature."

TOM: (Q) I was voted head of the Q Elk Lodge!

> Jean Luc was furious .
> "What stature, Q! You are the most annoying being in this
>universe!"

MIKE: (under breath while coughing) Wesley..

> Q shook is his and wagged his finger at Picard.
> "Tut, Tut, Jean Luc! Temper, Temper!"

TOM: Q has suddenly turned into a stereotypical gay guy!

> Han leaned over to his wife and whispered , "I can see why Myna
>would try and give this guy a hard time."
> Leia laughed softly and Q heard.
> "Well, isn't everybody a critic!"

CROW: I bet they're all better than Joe Baltake. (Sacramento ref)

> Picard yelled, "Q! Get out of here right now!"
> Q sighed. "Well, I must really go now. I must visit Worf down on the Deep
> Space Nine station. He's missed me so much."

MIKE: This is turning to be very Ratliff esqe.

> He then turned to Han and Leia and said "My sincere condolences
>on you having Myna as a niece." Q snapped his fingers and disappeared. Picard
>and the Solos finally got down to business.

MIKE: (Singing) Taking care of buisness, every day!

> Epilogue

TOM: Myna Skywalker was charged with jaywalking, indecent exposure, and
intent to annoy. In a moment, the results of that trial.

> The alliance between the New Republic and the Federation was a
>success. Even thought the alliance did not help get rid of the remains of
the Empire, they are still working on it.

CROW: The Alliance is experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by.

> Q and Myna went through with their challenge. Myna won when she
>sent Q to Yavin Four when they were on the Enterprise. Q has stopped his
>Greater than thou attitude only around Myna. Myna was seen in Ten Forward
>with Wesley Crusher right before she left for Coruscant.

ALL: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

> Commander Data has been seen talking to Luke Skywalker's droid,
>See Threepio a few times. It is rumored that when she comes back to his
>galaxy Data and See" Sixea, Leyta Kenobi's droid, have a hot date.

MIKE: This is getting worse by the paragraph. I'm glad it's almost over.

> Commander William Riker visited the Lucasin galaxy where he won
>the Lady Luck from Lando Calrissian and has been seen flirting with Mara
>Jade.

TOM: If I was human, I'd be vomiting right now. (Mike vomits) See?

> Captain Picard went back to the Enterprise. He regained
>Command of the ship. He and Leia will be attending a seminar on being the
>boss.

CROW: (Luke) Your not the boss of me!

> Luke and Leyta Skywalker never got their honeymoon. They decided
>to travel to Earth alone. But had several run in with Q. Who is still
>ticked off at both of them for having Myna.

MIKE: Let's go guys...

6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. *..

(SOL)
CROW: Well, that was just horrible.
MIKE: You know, if Clare wrote Star Trek, I have a feeling she'd be
bloody close to Ratliff.
TOM: Well, Clare does one thing good that Ratliff doesn't.
CROW: What?
TOM: She doesn't even try action scenes. She knows they'd be crappy.
MIKE: That's good, I suppose.
CROW: Yeah.... (long science)
CROW: We're doomed!!!!
TOM: There's no hope!!!
MIKE: Calm down guys... She couldn't of possible wrote much more than this! Right Dr. F?

(D13)
DR F: Your dreaming rat-boy. Next time I'm sending the sequel to Coruscount/Earth, then I
start you out on the "Jedi Lover" chronology. Have fun!!! (pushes button)

Insert button ASCII here.

This is purely in fun, don't sue me. All characters belong to whoever they belong too.

> Q shook is his and wagged his finger at Picard.
> "Tut, Tut, Jean Luc! Temper, Temper!"

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