NEW TOS The Peeps from the Peach Lagoon [PG-13]
Ventura33
TOS: Uhura: rated PG-13
By Ventura33 mev...@gemair.com
http://www.gemair.com/~bwhite/ventura33/index.html
Summary: When Peeps get into a peach bubble bath on the
Enterprise, the result is not a pretty sight.
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount. Peeps are
manufactured by Cadbury. Neither of them had any involvement
in the creation of this bit of Halloween lunacy.
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In all the universe, there were few sights more terrifying, few life
forms that exhibited such single-minded and fiendish concentration as
Lieutenant Nyota Uhura in a chocolate frenzy.
She rummaged through every drawer in her quarters before she was
forced to acknowledge the dreadful truth. There wasn't so much as a
scrap of chocolate left. Not anywhere. And her peach bubble bath,
in which she had planned to luxuriate while nibbling chocolate bon
bons, was getting cold. The only candy she had found was a package
of Peeps.
Stale pink Peeps, minus their plastic wrapper, to be precise. In
disgust, Uhura went back into the bathroom and reached for the
faucet, intending to add a bit more hot water to her bath. She was
still holding the Peeps, which she planned to throw away in just a
moment.
To her misfortune (but then, we wouldn't have had a story otherwise,
would we?) the Peeps slipped out of Uhura's hand, landing with muted
splashes throughout the tub. The little marshmallow candies all sank
instantly through the thick mass of fragrant bubbles, which, of
course, made it impossible for Uhura to see where they were.
On the assumption that anything so stale would have to be at the
bottom, Uhura bent over the tub and reached in with both hands,
figuring that it wouldn't take long to scoop them all up. Not long
at all . . .
Something in the depths of the tub suddenly grabbed her forearms and
dragged her into the water. Bubbles completely covered her face
before she had time to scream.
And just below the level of the bubbles, small pink ghostly shapes
drifted in the water. They might have been normal Peeps once, but
now their demonic eyes glowed with an evil light. Just as Uhura
became convinced that they were intent on drowning her, whatever had
seized hold of her arms let go of her almost as suddenly. She lifted
her head out of the bubbles, gasping for air.
Only to find a large and vaguely reptilian face, adorned with clown's
makeup, gazing down at her from a point just below the ceiling. For
some reason, it didn't seem to have a body. It grinned delightedly,
its big red clown's nose waggling.
"Welcome to the Greatest Show in the Interstellar Void! Step right
up, girls and boys, don't be shy! Yes, believe it or not, it's
really me, the amazing entity known as -- OUCHY THE CARDASSIAN!"
Uhura blinked peach bubble bath out of her stinging eyes. In
response, Ouchy grinned again, the smile appearing far wider than
anything a mere mortal could manage.
"Don't be shy, I said! Go ahead and scream -- I know you want to! A
few good screams make the show ever so much more fun, especially when
we get started with all your favorite ouchies! And I know what ALL
of them are. How 'bout we start with that fantasy you have about
Captain Kirk and the Spanking List? Your pal Ouchy is the galaxy's
very best when it comes to those smackie-whackies!"
A scaly hand appeared in mid-air and gestured toward the water. In
obedience to Ouchy's command, the Peeps all began to levitate, their
tiny, slitted eyes still glowing wickedly. Within seconds, they had
assembled themselves into what looked like a pink paddle.
"Now, I'm sure you've never had your cute little tuckus warmed by one
of THESE! It'll get you shrieking in a hurry! Or, if you'd rather,
we can change them into a string of beads." Ouchy's disembodied hand
waved again, and the Peeps rearranged themselves. "You know what
kind of beads I mean, don't you? The kind that go in a certain
intimate orifice. Remember, there's no need to be shy here, Nyota!
I know EVERYTHING that you fantasized about doing with Spock and his
meditation beads!"
Ouchy's chuckle filled the room, seeming to echo from everywhere.
"Yeah -- well, you can just shove them up yours!" Uhura lunged
toward the mocking reptilian face. Her fist went right through it,
and her knuckles scraped the ceiling as the laughter continued,
without a pause.
The Peeps came apart and then flew at Uhura from all sides, biting
voraciously at her flesh like piranhas on the hunt. Pink sugary
piranhas. She crushed one against the wall, but it just popped back
into its original shape an instant later and came at her again.
Drops of her blood spattered all over the peach-scented bubbles as
the monsters tore her to shreds, devouring her alive. The last sound
Uhura heard was Ouchy's jeering laughter all around her.
Then there was only silence, and cold.
But it didn't feel like the chill of the underworld. Actually, it
felt rather like cold water, with a cool smooth surface under it.
Uhura opened her eyes. She was alone in her bathtub, the water
completely cold, without a trace of bubbles. A few half-melted Peeps
were stuck to the sides of the tub here and there.
"I must have fallen asleep," she muttered, looking down at herself as
she climbed out of the tub, just to verify that she was still in one
piece. Well, of course she was. Marshmallow candy couldn't possibly
come to life and attack her. It had all been a dream, brought on by
chocolate withdrawal, probably.
All the same, the first thing Uhura intended to do was to beam every
one of those Peeps out into space, on a wide-beam molecular
dispersion setting. Just to be sure.
J. Juls
I'm glad!
Julie
monkee
Thank you - that was entertainingly bizarre! Loved it!
monkee
Rabble Rouser
This was a hoot, Meg. Especially the ending.<eg>
- - - - - - - - - -
Rabble Rouser
Story Page:
http://www.geocities.com/rabble_rouser_st/
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The test of courage comes when we are in the minority.
The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.
Jungle Kitty
>
> The Peeps from the Peach Lagoon
Oh my. So many of my favorite things in one funny yet spooooooky story.
Poor Uhura. Let this be a lesson to all of us. Never run out of
chocolate.
--
Jungle Kitty
http://www.invisibleplanets.com/
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"It's not dirty, it's the way I say it."
- Lypsinka
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Cait N.
wrote:
>The Peeps from the Peach Lagoon
>
>TOS: Uhura: rated PG-13
>
>By Ventura33 mev...@gemair.com
>http://www.gemair.com/~bwhite/ventura33/index.html
>
>Summary: When Peeps get into a peach bubble bath on the
>Enterprise, the result is not a pretty sight.
Ah! lol You have one strange imagine Ventura. :-) And I mean that in a
good creative writing kind of way. <g>
Thanks for writing and sharing,
Cait N.
Cait's Endless Trek
http://www.asstr.org/~CaitN/
"A man's vanity tells him what is honour, a man's conscience what is is justice."
- Walter Savage Landor