Pet Peeves in Trek Writing

Randy Landers

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Jun 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/28/98

to

I've been catching up on my Classic Trek pro-fiction reading, and I
was wondering if anyone else notices the little things that always jar
me out of a good story:

1) Use of the word PHASER in any story set prior to Star Trek. In
VULCAN'S FORGE and in several other pieces, the word PHASER pops up
even though they haven't been invented yet. Heck, even in Captain
Pike's day, it was HAND LASERS and "We'll transmit the ship's power"
without any mention of PHASERS.

2) Use of the ROMULANS in any story set prior to "Balance of Terror."
Remember, we don't know what the Romulans look like (they apparently
blow their ships up to avoid capture), yet here they are again in
VULCAN'S FORGE jeopardizing a teenaged Spock and David Rabin. Heck, we
didn't even know that the Romulans are expatriated Vulcans. So having
your villain, SERED, conspire with his "distant cousins" to disrupt
the proceedings at Gol with teenaged Spock and Rabin simply is such a
major continuity error that it practically ruins the story for me.

3) Multiple ranks and renamed ships: several novels lately have shown
themselves to be rewritten for a different time period than they were
originally written. It's Uhura who suffers the most from this. I think
it was in RECOVERY when she went from a Lieutenant Commander to a
Lieutenant to a full Commander. And it's also in RECOVERY that the
name of a starship changes back and forth repeatedly.

I'm not trying to be overly critical, but it seems to me that these
sort of things should be caught. I realize that editing is not an easy
task (hell, I've been editing Trek fan fiction since 1979), but
someone at Pocket Books needs to realize that the errors in VULCAN'S
FORGE absolutely are so distracting that the book is ruined. It's
obviously a wonderful work of two fans who love Star Trek (and Spock,
in particular), but it's obvious that the book was so poorly edited
that the authors (and readers) deserved better attention to detail.

Just venting some plasma...

Randy Landers
ORION PRESS
----------------------------------------------------------------------
---
For 11MB of quality Classic Trek fan fiction, go to:
http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/oaindex.html
For 2MB of quality Next Gen fan fiction, go to:
http://www.mindspring.com/~lindamarcusky/eridani/index.html
For information on ORION PRESS and its fanzines, go to:
http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders

Randy Landers

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Jun 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/28/98

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Just found another one!! ARGHH!! Spock tells Rabin that Sarek's
parents chose not to bond Sarek. Oh, really? Geez... 1) Vulcans do not
speak of such things with Outworlders and 2) Where do you guess that
Sybok came from?

GRRRR.

I think I need to go read "Keeper of the Katra" again.

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives7/katra.html

--

Laura Jacquez Valentine

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Jun 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/28/98

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also, mmm...keeper of the katra. one of the finest pieces of fanfic
I've ever encountered.

--laura

Laura Jacquez Valentine

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Jun 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/28/98

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The "excuse" (pitiful as it may be) that I've seen for fanfic that
involves Vulcans and Romulans prior to Balance of Terror is that the
Vulcans knew who/what the Romulans were...and simply didn't tell.

Given the Vulcan closeed-mouthedness, I can believe them not telling.
But I would like to know how they knew...

--laura

Randy Landers

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Jun 28, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/28/98

to

Three people have asked whether or not I would recommend Vulcan's
Forge despite my criticisms of it. The answer is Yes, but the
distracting errors are pretty danged annoying.

As far as Spock and Vulcan stories on our website, I'd recommend the
following:

"The Killer Instinct" - Spock as a child on Vulcan

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives8/killer.html

"Popcorn" - young Spock visits Earth

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives6/popcorn.htm
l

"Blood Is Thicker" - Spock as a vampire

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives6/thicker.htm
l

"I Grieve with Thee" - Spock deals with the loss of Zarabeth

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives4/grieve.html

"Dignity" - Sarek is gravely injured and appears insane; Spock
considers tal shaya

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives7/dignity.htm
l

"Only the Sound Remains" - Spock as a mer-Vulcan
http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives1/sound.html

"The Human Equation" - Xon (Spock's protege) deals with Human emotions

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives1/equation.ht
ml

"You Are Not Alone" - Saavik and David

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives5/notalone.ht
ml

"On My Mind" - Spock finds Chapel has changed

http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives4/mymind.html

"Keeper of the Katra" - Spock and Sybok and Sarek EXPLAINED!!!
http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives7/katra.html

Just tap on the highlighted links and you're off and running. This is
a free site! Just sit back, download and enjoy!

Randy Landers
ORION PRESS
----------------------------------------------------------------------

--------

SONIC FAN

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Jun 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/29/98

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In article <6n602j$squ$1...@camel15.mindspring.com>,
randyl...@mindspring.com says...

> Randy Landers
> ORION PRESS
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
> For 11MB of quality Classic Trek fan fiction, go to:
> http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/oaindex.html
> For 2MB of quality Next Gen fan fiction, go to:
> http://www.mindspring.com/~lindamarcusky/eridani/index.html
> For information on ORION PRESS and its fanzines, go to:
> http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders
>
>

Okaaayyyy..... but what did you think of ALIEN ATTACK?

KIRNEH

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Jun 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/29/98

to Randy Landers

On Sun, 28 Jun 1998, Randy Landers wrote:

> I've been catching up on my Classic Trek pro-fiction reading, and I
> was wondering if anyone else notices the little things that always jar
> me out of a good story:
>
> 1) Use of the word PHASER in any story set prior to Star Trek. In
> VULCAN'S FORGE and in several other pieces, the word PHASER pops up
> even though they haven't been invented yet. Heck, even in Captain
> Pike's day, it was HAND LASERS and "We'll transmit the ship's power"
> without any mention of PHASERS.
>
> 2) Use of the ROMULANS in any story set prior to "Balance of Terror."
> Remember, we don't know what the Romulans look like (they apparently
> blow their ships up to avoid capture), yet here they are again in
> VULCAN'S FORGE jeopardizing a teenaged Spock and David Rabin. Heck, we
> didn't even know that the Romulans are expatriated Vulcans. So having
> your villain, SERED, conspire with his "distant cousins" to disrupt
> the proceedings at Gol with teenaged Spock and Rabin simply is such a
> major continuity error that it practically ruins the story for me.

Yeah, I noticed this too. Ordover doesn't, apparently, keep a TOS
library on his video shelf or he'd tell the writers to fix it. OTOH
Berman, who obviously *never* cared for Trek continuity, rewrites Trek in
his own image no matter what we say; this really shows up in the ep with
O'Brien-as-secret-agent (title anyone?) trying to crack into the "Orion
Syndicate". If this was the Orion Syndicate, WHERE WERE THE FLUFFING
ORIONS!!!!????? They showed up previously at least twice; once in TOS
Journey to Babel, and again in TAS Pirates of Orion (basically Andorians
without the antennae). Seems to me that Orion pirates would be *prime*
characters to run a syndicate-type organization. If it's not them, don't
name it after them.

> > 3) Multiple ranks and renamed ships: several novels lately have shown
> themselves to be rewritten for a different time period than they were
> originally written. It's Uhura who suffers the most from this. I think
> it was in RECOVERY when she went from a Lieutenant Commander to a
> Lieutenant to a full Commander. And it's also in RECOVERY that the
> name of a starship changes back and forth repeatedly.

Don't even get me started here. If anyone else in America bought
the audio 4pack
of "New Frontier" (the biggest waste of $30 in my life), you'll notice
that throughout most of the story Calhoun commands the Excalibur, but
close to the end he suddenly commands the Excelsior-- has anyone told
Captain Sulu he's out of a job yet? (OTOH that might be a good subject
for a short story in SNW 2 or 3, or maybe we'll have to wait for volume 20
-- "Sorry, Hikaru; we're cutting back on
experienced officers. You'll be commanding an Asian-food cafeteria ship
from now on. We're giving Excelsior to an inexperienced, battle-scarred
Xenexian zombie with a chip on his shoulder. Don't look at me-- it's
Admiral David's idea. Oh, and make sure the pot stickers are hot, okay? I'm
bringing some of Calhoun's crew over for lunch.") :>

> > I'm not trying to be overly critical,

Why not? Mistakes need to be brought to the editors' attention, yes? It's
called "unsolicited quality control". :>

but it seems to me that these
> sort of things should be caught. I realize that editing is not an easy
> task (hell, I've been editing Trek fan fiction since 1979), but
> someone at Pocket Books needs to realize that the errors in VULCAN'S
> FORGE absolutely are so distracting that the book is ruined. It's
> obviously a wonderful work of two fans who love Star Trek (and Spock,
> in particular), but it's obvious that the book was so poorly edited
> that the authors (and readers) deserved better attention to detail.
>

Mr. Ordover-- are you listening? :>

Laura Jacquez Valentine

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Jun 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/29/98

to

I haven't read all the Vulcan-oriented stories on the Orion archives
yet, but I've read a lot of them. And I must say that Keeper of the
Katra is simply *incredible*. This novel gave me more insight into
Sarek than anything else I've read.

--laura

F.B.& M.A.C.

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Jun 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/29/98

to Randy Landers

Randy Landers wrote:
>
> "Dignity" - Sarek is gravely injured and appears insane; Spock
> considers tal shaya
>

I tried acsessing this one, but kept getting an error message.

MAC

Randy Landers

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Jun 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/29/98

to

I've said repeatedly that Keeper of the Katra is probably the best fan
novel ever written. Chris Dickenson did an absolutely perfect job with
it.

--

Randy Landers

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Jun 29, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/29/98

to

Blame Outlook Express. Add an L to the URL and it should be fine.

Sovak

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Jun 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/30/98

to Randy Landers

Randy Landers wrote:

Just found another one!! ARGHH!! Spock tells Rabin that Sarek's
parents chose not to bond Sarek. Oh, really? Geez... 1) Vulcans do not
speak of such things with Outworlders

I thonk this was the authors attempt to show the close relationship with Rabin (closer than he had with Kirk? Not likely!)

and 2) Where do you guess that
Sybok came from?

Some people do not consider Sybok to be Cannon. GR opposed every aspect of that movie (except the Yosemittee sequence) and many fans respect his opinion. Not only did he dislike the plot (was there a plot?), but back in the early days of TOS, GR stated "Spock has no brothers" because he kept getting stories for spock's brother. Shatner and Co knew this and chose to ignore it (or rather go around it wit the half brother idea)

GRRRR.
I think I need to go read "Keeper of the Katra" again.
http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/archives7/katra.html

LOL

--
Randy Landers
ORION PRESS
----------------------------------------------------------------------
---
For 11MB of quality Classic Trek fan fiction, go to:
http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders/archives/oaindex.html
For 2MB of quality Next Gen fan fiction, go to:
http://www.mindspring.com/~lindamarcusky/eridani/index.html
For information on ORION PRESS and its fanzines, go to:
http://www.mindspring.com/~randylanders

--
Sovak
<sov...@usa.net>
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Sovak

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Jun 30, 1998, 3:00:00 AM6/30/98

to Randy Landers

Randy Landers wrote:

> I've been catching up on my Classic Trek pro-fiction reading, and I
> was wondering if anyone else notices the little things that always jar
> me out of a good story:
>
> 1) Use of the word PHASER in any story set prior to Star Trek. In
> VULCAN'S FORGE and in several other pieces, the word PHASER pops up
> even though they haven't been invented yet. Heck, even in Captain
> Pike's day, it was HAND LASERS and "We'll transmit the ship's power"
> without any mention of PHASERS.

I assume that the author just assumed that they hadn't made up the term
yet. That they had just changed the name. In "what are little girls made
of" Dr Korby had this old style weapon and I think (don't quote mo on
this) he called a Phaser.

>
>
> 2) Use of the ROMULANS in any story set prior to "Balance of Terror."
> Remember, we don't know what the Romulans look like (they apparently
> blow their ships up to avoid capture), yet here they are again in
> VULCAN'S FORGE jeopardizing a teenaged Spock and David Rabin. Heck, we
> didn't even know that the Romulans are expatriated Vulcans. So having
> your villain, SERED, conspire with his "distant cousins" to disrupt
> the proceedings at Gol with teenaged Spock and Rabin simply is such a
> major continuity error that it practically ruins the story for me.

This has been going on for years.

>
>
> 3) Multiple ranks and renamed ships: several novels lately have shown
> themselves to be rewritten for a different time period than they were
> originally written. It's Uhura who suffers the most from this. I think
> it was in RECOVERY when she went from a Lieutenant Commander to a
> Lieutenant to a full Commander. And it's also in RECOVERY that the
> name of a starship changes back and forth repeatedly.

I've read Recovery and didn't catch that. However, I feel the need to
point out that it is perfectly acceptable for Uhura (who was a Lt Cmdr at
the time) to be called Commander. It happens all the time.

>
>
> I'm not trying to be overly critical, but it seems to me that these

> sort of things should be caught. I realize that editing is not an easy
> task (hell, I've been editing Trek fan fiction since 1979), but
> someone at Pocket Books needs to realize that the errors in VULCAN'S
> FORGE absolutely are so distracting that the book is ruined. It's
> obviously a wonderful work of two fans who love Star Trek (and Spock,
> in particular), but it's obvious that the book was so poorly edited
> that the authors (and readers) deserved better attention to detail.

Did you read the Hard Cover one or Paperback? I haven't actually read the
whole book yet (just a few interesting scenes) but I haven't come across
this stuff yet. Of course that doesn't meam that I won't.

You know a few months ago, I answered some questions for a prospective
Voyager writer, and one of them was "what episodes are important enough
that I should watch them?"

I gave him a couple but told him that if he really wanted to do his
research right, he should watch ALL of them. He wrote back all insulted
"I don't need to see them all to write a good voyager story."

So mayn of the errors in ST stories could be corected if the authors had
actually wathched all of the epps of their genre.