Selfish? ... I don't think so! (was: Slasher Identity (was Re: Rude Person...)
Christine Porter
total, but alas hubby only wants at a maximum two maybe three. I personally
believe...and this is just my opinion...that everyone should at least have
one child to pass on their genetic makeup and beliefs. Although, for those
who can not have children, there is nothing wrong with adopting or being a
babysitter to have their children. I have a child and I am very happy.
The only thing that urkes me to no end, is people who have one kid after the
other. Example, you have kid A April 2001, then 3 months later get pregnant
with kid B. That I can't stand. Do I hate the people? Nope, probably just
envious. I wish I had a husband that wanted a bunch of kids, but I don't.
I'd have to sneak around to get any from him. LOL
Although, I told him he's got 7 more years to decide cause when I hit 30 I'm
not taking the chance of having any. Being pregnant put a huge strain on me
at 20.
This is just my opinion and YMMV.
Christine who's got her flame proof shielding in place.
--
'Just one more fight about your leadership and I will straight up leave your
shit, cause I've had enough of this and now I'm pissed(yeah). This time I'm
a let it all come out, this time I'm a stand up and shout. I'm a do things
my way, it's my way, my way or the highway!'
-Limpbizkit, My Way
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Mark Stanley
>
> Thought I'd throw my two cents worth in here. I personally want five kids
> total, but alas hubby only wants at a maximum two maybe three. I personally
> believe...and this is just my opinion...that everyone should at least have
> one child to pass on their genetic makeup and beliefs.
They most certainly should not. *Nobody* should be forced to have a
child. And for many of us, "forced" is the key word there. I'm very
happy for you, that you have found happiness in having children. But you
cannot presume to impose your view of happiness on those of us who
disagree with you. I wouldn't tell you that you should get a sex change
and marry a gay man, so don't tell me that I should have a child. What
makes you happy is not what makes me happy.
Mark
--
I wouldn't know subtlety if it came up and bit me on the
ass. But then, that wouldn't be very subtle, would it?
--Olivia, Treksmut mistress
~~~
mrs...@sk.sympatico.ca
http://www.geocities.com/mrs260/
Greywolf the Wanderer
> --- In ASCEML@y..., "Christine Porter" <QsMistress23@h...> wrote:
> > Thought I'd throw my two cents worth in here. I personally want five kids total, but alas hubby only wants at a maximum two maybe
> three. I personally believe...and this is just my opinion...that everyone should at least have
> > one child to pass on their genetic makeup and beliefs.
>
> That "should" is the thing I don't understand. You say you have a child and you're happy. That's great. But it seems to be a pretty
> great leap from that to the idea that *everybody* would be made happier by having children-- or to the idea that everybody ought to have
> children even if it makes them unhappy.
I agree. Not to flame ye, Christine, but I'll have to respectfully disagree. My mate and I may choose to adopt someday or we may not --
but certes children are far far down on the list of what's important to us at the moment. I tell people I already have kids -- my dogs.
They might have four feet and fur, but otherwise it's just like having four rowdy kids about the place. Only these ones dinna need $150
shoes, nor college, nor do they get drunk and crash my car.
Not only that, but both of us have epilepsy and various sorts of brain troubles. And in my line, lots of strokes, alcoholism, heart
disease, depression, myopia... Passing on my genes wouldna be doing any child a favour. My mate's adopted, his heritage is anyone's
guess, though he's pretty obviously some sort of Celt. I endeavour instead to treat such children as may cross my path with honour and
respect, and thereby leave any mark 'tis for me to leave. And I write. A lot. All the time. <shrug> For some 'tis given to be
parents. For many, 'tis neither here nor there. Takes all kinds then, dunnit.
> Although, for those> who can not have children, there is nothing wrong with adopting or being a> babysitter to have their children. I
> have a child and I am very happy.
Bless ye then. Some of us have none, and are *also* quite happy. <smiles at you, not being pissed>
> > The only thing that urkes me to no end, is people who have one kid after the> other. Example, you have kid A April 2001, then 3 months
> later get pregnant> with kid B. That I can't stand. Do I hate the people? Nope, probably just
> > envious. I wish I had a husband that wanted a bunch of kids, but I don't.> I'd have to sneak around to get any from him. LOL
Mayhap thee should look into working as a childcare worker, or a teacher, or some such? Perhaps that's why thee has that drive...
> > Although, I told him he's got 7 more years to decide cause when I hit 30 I'm> not taking the chance of having any. Being pregnant put
> a huge strain on me> at 20.
Just the concept of being pregnant gi'es me the shivers. No thanks!
> Arrgh. This is the week everything conspires to make me feel old (this and a disasterous discussion with my freshmen that got onto the
> topic of the Reagan administration...) I'm 25 and doubt I'll even start considering whether or not to have a child for another decade.
> Ideally I wouldn't want to do it until I've got tenure somewhere. I can't even imagine having a child before getting a tenure track job.
It's amazing how *young* they all seem now, isn't it though? I'm 42 and dinna feel old most of the time -- until I look at high school and
college students, whereupon I feel most ancient indeed.
> Of course, the tenure track job is and always has been a *much* higher priority for me than the child. People's priorities differ. I
> can understand why, once a person has decided to have a child, that child's welfare would become a high priority for them, even if they'd
> been happy childless and content to stay that way. I *don't* understand why so many people who have children, and even many who don't,
> feel that
> having children should be a high priority for *everyone.*
Na. No more do I. <shrug> Can't see as it matters though. Them as wants kids has 'em, us as does not do not have 'em. I wish only that
them as wants kids and cannot have them should be granted what they desire. Me, I reckon my dogs are enough responsibility for me, thanks
anyway.
> > This is just my opinion and YMMV.
> >
> > Christine who's got her flame proof shielding in place.
>
> Well, this hasn't been meant as a flame, but my mileage certainly varies.
Aye. As does mine, also.
> Ellen, only daughter of an only daughter and quite happy to remain childless
Greywolf, convinced that the last thing the world needs is any more specimens of my family muckin' about the place. There's too many of us
as it is and most are crazy on their good days. The ones as aren't fucking crazy are usually drunk. Nah.
Selek
| children. For many, it is assumed that, when one gets married, one
| automatically will have children ... and if a couple is married for
| several years without the arrival of said children, they are either
| *selfish* for nor bringing children into their lives, or *unhappy*.
| My husband and I cannot have children (as with Selek and his wife, it
| is a medical condition) ... my biggest pet peave is those who, once
| they discover the reason for my lack of children, assume that I will
| be jelouse of my siblings or friends who *do* have them ... but as I
| tell them, I *do* have children in my life ... the difference is, I
| can send them back to their parents when they get whiney <BG>
|
| =====
| >:-]
| T'Lin
I love that line. Can I use it?
Selek
Check out my stories at:
Sarek and Amanda's Lair, http://www.geocities.com/selek3/
Blue Moon SweatShop, http://www.geocities.com/taitlu/bluemoon.html
Mary Ellen Curtin
> I endeavour instead to treat such children as may cross my path with honour and
> respect
-- which is the only "should" anyone has a right to give
out in this field.
Some people want children and can't have them, some don't
intend to have them and get them anyway, some are hoping for
one sort of child and get another entirely. It's just too damn
difficult a business to make any generalizations, except the ones
about respect and love.
Mary Ellen
Doctor Science, MA
http://www.eclipse.net/~mecurtin/au/
Alternate Universes: Fanfiction Studies
http://www.eclipse.net/~mecurtin/foresmut/
The Foresmutters Project
Jane.S
rationalised, is surely simply a result of the fact that genetic types who
have kids are represented in our genetic pool, while those who decided not
to, are not.
Jane (skazki) whose sons are being particularly pleasant this evening, so it
all seems like a good idea at this particular moment.
J. Juls
I personally
> believe...and this is just my opinion...that everyone should at least
have
> one child to pass on their genetic makeup and beliefs.
So, pedophiles and child-beaters and junkies should all have kids?
Eeeeesh, I feel sorry for those kids.
Julie
Pamela
----- Original Message -----
From: T'Lin <femme_f...@yahoo.com>
To: <ASC...@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, April 20, 2001 9:24 PM
Subject: [ASCEML] Selfish? ... I don't think so! (was: Slasher Identity
(was Re: Rude Person...)
> --- In ASCEML@y..., Ellen_Fremedon@h... wrote:
> > --- In ASCEML@y..., "Christine Porter" <QsMistress23@h...> wrote:
>
> > > Although, I told him he's got 7 more years to decide cause when I
> hit 30 I'm
> > > not taking the chance of having any. Being pregnant put a huge
> strain on me
> > > at 20.
> >
> >
> > Arrgh. This is the week everything conspires to make me feel old
> (this
> > and a disasterous discussion with my freshmen that got onto the
> topic
> > of the Reagan administration...) I'm 25 and doubt I'll even start
> > considering whether or not to have a child for another decade.
>
> Yeah, this is the week for feeling old (I just turned 40, I should
> know <BG>) Don't rush things ... if you decide to have a kid some
> day, great ... if you don't, that's great, too! Sounds like you have
> plenty of kids in your life if your a teacher <g>
>
I'm 40, and my 14 month old baby girl keeps me young. <g> And old.
<an even bigger grin>
She's my 3rd. The one thing I can say about kids with any amount of
certainty is they are time consuming. I applaud those couples who
decide not to have them, selfish? Nah, I'm selfish and I have them.
They aren't for everyone and as has already been said this is a personal
decision. My kids keep me from enjoying my Treksmut as much as I'd like
but I wouldn't trade them for the world. Which brings me to another
point, I'm VERY thankful for the archive cuz as the kids get older and
I get my personal time back I can play catch up on my reading. :-)
IDIC.
I love this place.
Pamela
The Roving Reporter
On Sat, 21 Apr 2001 19:49:27 +0100, "Jane.S"
<ja...@joking.fsbusiness.co.uk> took a very strange color crayon and
scribbled:
>The general existence of a desire to 'have kids', however justified or
>rationalised, is surely simply a result of the fact that genetic types who
>have kids are represented in our genetic pool, while those who decided not
>to, are not.
Doesn't count in my family. My parents had four kids of whom it
appears only one sister will carry on the family line in any
way...two daughters. My brother has resisted so far even getting
married, let alone have kids, and I and another sister are lesbians
with apparently no desire to have kids either. Personally, I really
can't stand kids until they start to become teenagers and hence have
issues that make them much more interesting to listen to.
--
Therese Shellabarger / The Roving Reporter
tls...@concentric.net / http://www.concentric.net/~tlshell