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Ruth's Year End ASCEM Test

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Dec 6, 1997, 3:00:00 AM12/6/97

From:
Ruth Gifford <eres...@cyberg8t.com>
Subject:
Ruth's Year End ASCEM Test

In the "emotional connection to the characters thread" Robin asked if I was
giving a year end test to see who has been paying attention. Well that
made me think and I started this as a bit of a joke. Then I wondered if I
could put something together based on what I know of ASCEM and see how many
people know a *lot* about this ng, from its history, to its writers, and
the reason for its existence. As I look at it now, this is actually a very
hard test. You have to be pretty up on your TrekSmut to do the author
recognition section, but that part was supposed to be hard.

I'll post the answers in a couple of days.

Ruth
can we say writing avoidance boys and girls? It's hard to write smut when
your throat feels like you've been swallowing ground glass.

Ruth's Year End ASCEM Test

Multiple Choice Questions (2pts each). Some of these have more than one
correct answer.

1. Which writer had to correct Ruth's misspelling of hir name the most?

A) Robin Lawire
B) Gryewolf
C) OddGoddess

Note: two of these are misspellings from actual Ruth posts; and the other
was deliberately misspelled. I apologize to all of you.

2. What ASCEM risk paid off with the best results?

A) Buying stock in a battery company just before we went online.
B) Ignoring all the evidence to the contrary and assuming that K & S *are*
gay.
C) The fact that, back in May (June?), Ruth got a note from someone she'd
never heard of who offered to moderate ASCE. She vaguely pointed the
person in the direction of some web sites, and by July the creation of a
TrekSmut ng was well underway.

3. What is the saddest ASCEM irony?

A) That we start up ASCEM, have a lot of stories posted, and a troll pops
up on ASC are suggesting that Fanfic is dead.
B) That we started off with a small flame war over slash
C) That we see a huge resurgence of K/S only to read on ASC that they're
*not* gay.

4. What is ASCEM's most unique contribution to 'net TrekSmut

A) Greywolf's promise to write a P/Q story.
B) Our very existence.
C) The amazingly large amount of TOS smut that's been posted since we went
online.

5. Who do US TrekSmut fans like the most in the morning?

A) Robin Lawrie -- because, damnit! coffee is better when it's drunk
through the nose.
B) Anne in Chicago -- because she posts ASCEML in the middle of the
freakin' night so that your TrekSmut is there, piping hot, along with your
oatmeal.
C) Ruth Gifford -- because, if you're tying to get back to sleep, nothing
will work so well as reading the FAQ.

6. What's the biggest justification for the creation of ASCEM?

A) 198 posts to ASCEM in one day; 150 of them ad-spam.
B) It keeps an unemployed Ruth busy and off the streets.
C) It's fun, by golly!!

Short Answer Questions (2pts each)

7. Of the stories posted to ASCEM, which version of Trek is most
represented?

8. Who is Anne in Chicago's backup List Mom?

9. As of December 6, which ASCEM thread has garnered the most responses? (2
pts extra credit if you can tell me who started it)

10. Which ASCEM writer and frequent poster has had recent dental work and
has talked about it on ASCEM?

Author Identification Section (5 pts). Below are the opening paragraphs
from a random sampling of TrekSmut stories posted to ASCEM. They have been
reformatted in various way to fit one posting style (mine actually,
although I didn't write any of them), but the content has remained the
same. Who wrote them? A hint: Each of these authors has posted at least
two stories to ASCEM. [Note: Thanks to Mercutio for the idea; we played
this game on afq a few months ago.]

11.
Picard lay very still, not wanting even a breath to move Q inside him.

Q was moving only enough to press his kisses onto Jean-Luc's shoulder. The
rest of his body lay still on top, along, and inside his lover, warm and
deliciously heavy. The only sounds were quiet breaths and the hum of the
engines as the Enterprise sped at warp six to the Klingon supply station on
Pa'Quon IV. Once there, they would offload fourteen IPS series plasma
conduits, eighty-five crates of self-sealing stem bolts, over seven hundred
kilos of various medical supplies, including five alpha-rated medkids, and
thirty-two baffling plates for standard warp manifolds.

There was a concert scheduled for tonight, featuring Data's performance of
the Paganini First Violin Concerto. Riker and Troi were to turn in their
crew evaluations the following morning. Astrophysics would be testing
their new display modules the following afternoon.

Carefully, Q shifted his hips, and the man beneath him sighed as he was
caressed so gently inside. Q was just starting to get hard again, and the
slight pressure was delectable. The man felt boneless as a Changeling,
completely surrounded and sheltered and...

12.
It was all attributable to Worf, everything that happened, happened as a
result of his actions.

Julian could remember how it began clearly. He'd been in a holo-suite
playing against tennis a 20th Century Tennis Champion, John Newcombe, when
he heard it. Jadzia was going nuts screaming in Klingoneze in the next
suite and it put him right off his game.

At first he thought it was another one of her sex-sessions with Worf, he
refused to call it love making, in his mind you didn't beat up the one you
love inflicting the sort of injuries they inflicted on each other and call
it making love.

It had taken him a few minutes to realize that Worf wasn't with Dax in the
suite next door, he wondered what she was doing. Practicing some Klingon
Ritual no doubt.

13.
Eyes opened, to darkness and pain. It was nothing new; he was in the
world of pain now, and had been for a long time. Sometimes he still dreamed
of bright-lit rooms, where it was always warm, and there was always enough
to eat. He'd had a name, then, and duties. He'd still had pride, then,
and strength to spare for other things besides simple existence. That
world was his home; he remembered that, sometimes -- but when he opened
his eyes, it was always this one that he saw.

He hadn't always been alone like this. There had been companions, once,
comrades -- one he called t'hy'la -- but that was long ago, and now he was
no longer entirely certain that any of it had been real. In that world he
was whole, and healthy; he walked easily on strong, undamaged legs. In
that world, he was a free man, among free men. In that world, the light
didn't burn his eyes. In that world, pain was a stranger, seldom seen and
easily vanquished. Surely that last was only a dream. How could the pain
be vanquished, when it reached to the very core of his bones? It was the
first thing he knew each morning, and the last he knew each night. Its
continued presence reassured him that he yet lived.

It was himself, his own dark twin, bound to him more strongly than
battlesteel to a hull, closer than any lover; deeper than life itself. He
would never be free of it; he no longer even dreamed of that. The cost of
such dreams was simply too high.

14.

*Damn, damn, DAMN!* Garak cursed mentally, sprinting through the Promenade
like a wild Tarkalean beast and clutching his hand tightly against his
chest. Strolling civilians gasped and stepped out of his way as they noted
the dark blood which seeped through his fingers, leaving a crimson trail
behind him.

Quickly, he rounded a corner and entered the infirmary, out of breath.

"Doctor!" he bellowed, looking around frantically as he searched for the
young man.

Bashir's nurse was promptly at his side. "Can I help yo--" She interrupted
herself when she caught his wounded hand, her eyes widening fractionally.
"Oh dear . . . Doctor Bashir!" she cried, this time louder than Garak's
previous call.

15.
"Bridge to Janeway. Captain, you've got to..I mean, we've detected a
derelict Kazon ship."

"I'm on my way." Better. He really is trying now.

The Captain finished tucking the last wisp of hair in place, straightened
her uniform and strode purposefully out of her quarters.

"Thanks for the warning, Commander. And our course is..?"

"Still the same Captain. Mr Kim has been studying the vessel with the long
range scanners. As he detected no life forms aboard, I did not regard it as
a threat." Chakotay stood straight and spoke firmly. He'd got it right this
time.

"Maybe not a threat, but certainly an opportunity. This will give us a
chance to assess the level of their technology accurately, and maybe even
salvage some power cells. Just how far away is it?"

16.
Jean-Luc Picard moaned, turning in his bed, startling the woman who
monitored him from her bed-side chair. Beverly Crusher was very worried
about him, despite having released him from Sickbay three
days before, he was still weak, occasionally disoriented and suffered from
severe, draining nightmares.

The Enterprise was docked at Earth Station McKinley undergoing a complete
refit after what was being termed "The Borg Incident", and as the Recovery
Task team began their job of restructuring and
rebuilding Starfleet fleet, Captain Jean-Luc Picard was fighting to regain
his health, both mental and physical.

His worst problem was the debilitating nightmares which left him helpless
as an infant, a situation he loathed. Appalled at his weakened emotional
state, he persisted in working out his difficulty in the privacy of his
cabin, with only Bev Crusher and Deanna Troi's assistance.

He had utterly refused sedatives or sleeping pills and Troi had concurred;
the nightmares were traumatic enough without him having to fight his way to
consciousness when they grew too stressful. Unfortunately he had also
refused to undergo directive dream therapy, stating he would consider it
only if he still had problems in a few weeks time.

17.
"Barrows to Janeway."

I started. My padd skidded across the desk to the floor. Before I
answered, I gently massaged my temples.

"Mistress... How may I help you?"

"When are you bringing her to me? You've taken her to that... that..."

"Workshop?"

"Yes... we're wasting time, pet. With those implants I could be crawling
around her lovely mind and introduce her to all that body is capable of
feeling," she purred.

18.
"McCoy? Well, yes, he's here, but visiting hours are over, sir. If you'd
like to leave a message ... "

Spock sized up the peculiar woman, who, in her loose white tunic, looked
like an experienced healer-priestess. Her mannerisms and post, however,
betrayed her as an apprentice thrust headlong into high action by the
recent war.

"No, miss. I am not here as a visitor. I have come to take the
Lieutenant-Commander home."

She looked annoyed. "You can't just walk in here and ... just ... take
people away, sir. The treaty clearly states that no agents of either side
shall ... "

He cut her off, pulling out the thin wallet that contained his Starfleet
identification. "I am not an enemy agent, and neither, for that matter, is
Dr. McCoy. He is a Starfleet officer, and I have been given orders to
return him to the Federation."

The nurse paled. "I -- I can't just let you do this -- you've got to talk
to the Director. I don't have any say in these military matters."

19.
The reception was a blast. He had been to fun parties before, but
this...this one took the cake. Not only was he celebrating his friend's
wedding, which almost didn't take place, but he was doing it with the most
bizarre mix of people. Starfleet personnel. Klingons. Trills. Ferengi.
Humans. Humanoids. And everything else in between. The unusual crowd
made for an unusual evening, and he noted that the word 'party' was an
understatement for the affair. It barely described the evening's decorum,
which was now turning a bit rowdy. And he felt right in his element.

Commander William T. Riker, having made his typical rounds scanning for a
playmate, settled in among a group of three gregarious individuals. All
women, who took sudden interest in the tall, dark addition to their clique.
All immediately competing for his attention, hoping to be the prize the
handsome Starfleet officer would claim for the night. The XO of the
Enterprise had grown accustomed to such outright female ambition over the
years, knowing his reputation literally preceded him wherever he went. He
didn't have to try. Didn't even have to say a word. The opposite sex just
flocked to him like a magnet, much to the disdain of any other man in his
company.

"Looks like some things never change," Worf announced mockingly as he
approached, taking stock of the repartee unfolding before him.

Riker welcomed the intrusion and extended his arm to the new groom,
beaming. "Congratulations Worf. I wish you both all the happiness in the
universe." He turned to look at Dax, hands still locked in a firm shake.
"You're a very lucky man. She's quite the catch," he added, admiring the
lines of her long, red gown.

20
Promptly at 1000 hours, Commanding Admiral Heihachiro Nogura called the
holocom conference to order. The images of the other six members of the
General Staff already had solidified in his office; each held copies of the
material for today's meeting.

Admiral Sengumba materialized directly across from Nogura--*a harbinger of
impending confrontation?* Nogura wondered. Tall, black and bristling with
impatience, like a lion wanting to spring from his chair, the African
seemed larger than life in holographic projection. *An illusion,* Nogura
told himself. After all, he himself had been told that holographs smoothed
out the wrinkles in his own parchment-like skin, emphasized his well-kept
white hair, made him seem slim and courtly rather than merely thin. But it
was uncanny how much of one's personality could be transmitted through
those literal electronic beams.

Nogura girded himself for the feat of strategy that lay ahead: managing
today's meeting. Looking around the room, he counted votes: Rao and
Krasnovsky, with him; Sengumba and Mendez, against; Yuval and Abd
al-Hamid--wavering. Deliberately, he picked up the agenda and, after a
perfunctory greeting, directed the other admirals' attention to the first
item: "*U.S.S. Enterprise,* post-Five-Year-Mission assignment."

Slightly Longer Answer Questions. (5 pts each)

21. What are the two way you can post to ASCEM?

22. Where did the fanfic term slash come from and what does it refer to?

23. You are posting the first part of a new three part story called "The
Whip Trip," which is about Commander Riker traveling through space and time
to indulge in wild kinky sex with Lt. Sulu. What does your subject header
look like?

24. What does asfs stand for and how does it relate to ASCEM?

25. To which other USENET newsgroups can you post TrekSmut? (2 pts extra
credit if you list the one isn't connected to Trek)

26. How do you account for free will in a deterministic universe? Oops
sorry, wrong exam. How would you feel if I told you that the answer to
question #1 was A?

Extra credit assignment: Write a P/Q story. :-)

__________________________________________________________________________

Posting to ASCEM is easy--just send your messages to as...@earthlink.net

To subscribe or unsubscribe to the mirror list--and for all other
list-related inquiries, write to asc...@aol.com

ASCEM

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Dec 18, 1997, 3:00:00 AM12/18/97

From:
Ruth Gifford <eres...@cyberg8t.com>
Subject:

Answers to: Ruth's Year End ASCEM Test

Two people (Red and Greywolf) actually posted their answers on this
particular test. As I said it was meant in fun and was something I don't
know that I could pass.

Answers

1. Which writer had to correct Ruth's misspelling of hir name the most?

A) Robin Lawire
B) Gryewolf
C) OddGoddess

A -- I've been corrected by Robin for misspelling her name on two different
occasions. I know I've misspelled Greywolf's name once, but to my
knowledge I've never mangled OdoGoddess' moniker.

2. What ASCEM risk paid off with the best results?

A) Buying stock in a battery company just before we went online.
B) Ignoring all the evidence to the contrary and assuming that K & S *are*
gay.

C) The fact that, back in May (June?), Ruth got a note offering to
moderate ASCE from someone she'd never heard of and gave the person a vague
point in the right direction. By July the creation of a TrekSmut ng was
underway.

C -- This is the utter truth: I got a note from Alexas and thought 'Alexas?
Who's that?' She seemed to be willing to do the work and I'm damn glad she
did.

3. What is the saddest ASCEM irony?

B (although the other answers can be argued and would be accepted) -- The
first storm we weathered was an embittered P/C writer complaining that
there was a conspiracy on ASCEM to favor the slash writers.

4. What is ASCEM's most unique contribution to 'net TrekSmut

A) Greywolf's promise to write a P/Q story.
B) Our very existence.
C) The amazingly large amount of TOS smut that's been posted since we went
online.

C -- (the other answers are acceptable, as is "all of the above") I was
looking for C as the answer because the assumption has always been that TOS
in general (and K/S in particular) is strictly a 'zine fandom and people
like Killa were just oddballs. Well maybe they are, but we've suddenly got
a lot of TOS TrekSmut out here on the wires. This is a Good Thing!

5. Who do US TrekSmut fans like the most in the morning?

C) Ruth Gifford -- because if you're tying to get back to sleep, nothing

will work so well as reading the FAQ.

B -- Despite Greywolf's insertion of his paw into his mouth, this was a
serious pat on the back to Anne.

6. What's the biggest justification for the creation of ASCEM?

A) 198 posts to ASCEM in one day; 150 of them ad-spam.
B) It keeps an unemployed Ruth busy and off the streets.
C) It's fun, by golly!!

A (once more the other answers are acceptable) -- The day I wrote this test
I really did have 150+ pieces of ad-spam. If we hadn't moderated this news
group, we'd be drowning in posts from WILMA'S FARMSEX (screaming by Wilma
herself, I assume), and buried under adverts for "Soft Penis Collection."

7. Of the stories posted to ASCEM, which version of Trek is most
represented?

Voyager -- Goddess bless you people, but you're a prolific bunch. Keep 'em
(and us) coming, OK?

8. Who is Anne in Chicago's backup List Mom? -- Silent Shadow Watching --
and isn't it good to know she's there?

9. As of December 6, which ASCEM thread has garnered the most responses? (2
pts extra credit if you can tell me who started it)

Which Trek Character Turns You On? -- and we certainly learned a lot about
one another, didn't we? ;-) extra credit: Shannara -- Thanks, Shannara!

10. Which ASCEM writer and frequent poster has had recent dental work and
has talked about it on ASCEM?

Greywolf -- This was put in to see if anyone had a memory for really
trivial details. If only I could remember the important stuff! :-)

Author ID

11 Varoneeka -- "License to Q"

12 Red Skye -- "Jouer Les Amoureux"

13 Greywolf -- "Deep Elem Blues"

14 BGM -- "Fortuitous Accident"

15 Robin Lawrie -- "Love Potion No. 9"

16 Judith Medina -- "Old Pain, New Memories"

17 NovaD -- "Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway; Chapter 32 -- Campaigns"

18 angie tallahassee -- "To Life"

19 Teri Ponce -- "Times Two"

20 Judy Gran -- "Treminus"

21. What are the two way you can post to ASCEM? -- mailing your post to
as...@earthlink.net, or posting to ASCEM through USENET -- and you all know
this now, don't you?

22. Where did the fanfic term slash come from and what does it refer to? --
this is the long version from the ASCEM Glossary: Slash: the term slash
does not refer to a violent story per se (although slash can involve
violence). In the terms of TrekSmut, slash refers to same sex fiction.
The term originates from the / used between names or initials. More
specifically, it started out referring to Kirk/Spock stories and then with
the advent of the three other series grew to be a broader term meaning all
same sex stories. This is not a set in stone definition, I've heard some
people assert that slash is *only* K/S or only m/m. Then again some people
say that *all* TrekSmut is slash regardless of the sex of the parties
involved. For most people however, the word means same sex fan fiction.

look like? -- NEW: The Whip Trip 1/3 (TOS/TNG, R/Su, NC-17) (instead of
NC-17 you could use bdsm, and you could write out Riker/Sulu).

24. What does asfs stand for and how does it relate to ASCEM? --
alt.sex.fetish.startrek, which was the first TrekSmut ng. ASCEM is its
third incarnation (ASCE was between the two groups).

25. To which other USENET newsgroups can you post TrekSmut? --
alt.startrek.creative, and alt.fan.q if your story is about a Q. (2 pts
extra credit if you list the one isn't connected to Trek) --
alt.sex.stories.moderated.

26. How do you account for free will in a deterministic universe? -- I
don’t know about any of you, but I don't believe in a deterministic
universe. The Goddess is alive and She's laughing Her ass off, but it's
cool; She's laughing with us, not at us.

Oops sorry, wrong exam. How would you feel if I told you that the answer

to question #1 was A? -- Like Ruth ran out of questions and realized that
question #1 was the only question that required reading Ruth's personal
e-mail.

ASCEM

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Dec 19, 1997, 3:00:00 AM12/19/97

Date:
Thu, 18 Dec 1997 12:01:08 -0500
To:
<as...@earthlink.net>
From:
data...@aol.com (DataLaur)
Organization:
AOL http://www.aol.com
Subject:
Re: Answers to: Ruth's Year End ASCEM Test

Ruth:

>The day I wrote this test
>I really did have 150+ pieces of ad-spam. If we hadn't moderated this
news
>group, we'd be drowning in posts

I can only send my heartfelt thanks to those of you who spend so much
time screening out spam and doing all the other work that makes ascem
function. I doubt I would have the time to weed through a spammy ng.
::big round of applause::
Laur

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