Happy 70th Birthday Chuck Norris!!!
mr dude@harvarduniversity.edu
-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot
broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart
while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
yelling, "Bang!"
-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat
on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they
died? His shoe.
-If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
-The following is a short list of things Chuck Norris cannot do: .
-If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will
appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
-Chuck Norris once taught a class called "Ass Kicking 101". There were
no survivors.
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for
Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
-The Big Bang was actually Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking God in the
face.
-Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50
states in order to legally wear pants.
-Chuck Norris has an unbeatable poker face, concealed beneath an even
more unbeatable poker beard.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and
includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
-Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first
to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone
standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
mr dude
Galen Boyer
> The Chucko is 70 today! Some Chuck Norris facts:
[...]
Chuck Norris once got his butt kicked by Bruce Lee.
--
Galen Boyer
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mr dude@harvarduniversity.edu
> "mr d...@harvarduniversity.edu" <foster...@gmail.com> writes:
> > The Chucko is 70 today! Some Chuck Norris facts:
>
> [...]
>
> Chuck Norris once got his butt kicked by Bruce Lee.
>
> --
> Galen Boyer
Interesting that you bring that up.
MANY notable fighting experts say that Steven Segall would have kicked
Bruce Lee's ass twice a day and thrice on Sundays.
This is not my opinion but FACT!!!
It cannot be disputed.
mr dude
Galen Boyer
Steven Seagal once got his butt-kicked by Jeffrey Speakman. Does that
mean Jeffrey Speakman would have beaten the piss out of Chuck Norris?
extremeone
> "mr du...@harvarduniversity.edu" <fost...@gmail.com> writes:
>
>> On Mar 11, 8:37 pm, Galen Boyer <galen_bo...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>>> "mr d...@harvarduniversity.edu" <foster...@gmail.com> writes:
>>>> The Chucko is 70 today! Some Chuck Norris facts:
>>> [...]
>>>
>>> Chuck Norris once got his butt kicked by Bruce Lee.
I once kicked Bruce Lee's chink ass