Tebow 5: Revenge of the Jedi Who Wish They Were Tebow

[mr dude@harvarduniversity.edu]

# Tim Tebow wrote a book called "The Tim Tebow Experience". Readers
opened the book and received a pop-out stiff arm to the face.
# Tim Tebow can eat five times his body weight in tigers.
# Tim Tebow won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance
Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
# Tim Tebow could drink 24 gallons of milk in an hour without throwing
up if wanted. He chooses not to because the calcium would make his
bones so strong he would instantly kill anyone he touched.
# Tim Tebow' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
# What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not
bleed.
# Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
# Tim Tebow is helping Santa this year, no reindeers needed and he'll
be finished before midnight.
# When Tebow scores a touchdown it's worth 7 points without the extra
point kick, but he always gives one back in the spirit of being a
missionary.
# Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
# Companies that produce solar powered products are studying Tim Tebow
because he can always find daylight.
# If at first you don't succeed...you are not Tim Tebow.
# Michigan players have been caught around campus running into brick
walls and trying to bring down lampposts. Unfortunately they will
still not be prepared to tackle Tim Tebow.
# When Tim Tebow does push ups, he isn't lifting himself up, he's
pushing the world down.
# When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet
for Tim Tebow.
# People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.
# Tim Tebow's family once threw him a surprise party. Once.
# The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't
stiff-armed you in the face.
# When Tim Tebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.
# Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman
for even HAVING a weakness.
# Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.
# Tim Tebow counted to infinity. Twice.