A Yankee fan sent this to me
Paul Krause
Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the New York Yankees
Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently
processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Met fans.
Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Met
requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based
on the current backlog of requests.
Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help
us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to
recover from your previous fan experience.
Name:
_______________________________________________________________________
Last (Please Print) First MI
Address:
_____________________________________________________________________
# Street
_____________________________________________________________________
City State Zip
1. Please indicate the last time you watched the NY Mets win the World
Series:
[ ] 1969 (Please leave this form at the front desk of your nursing home)
[ ] 1986
[ ] Have never witnessed this event
2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Mets history: (Check all
that apply)
[ ] Nolan Ryan traded for Jim Fregosi
[ ] Timo Perez forgets to run in the World Series
[ ] Scott Kazimir traded for Victor Zambrano
[ ] Al Leiter allowed to throw 164 pitches in a World Series game
[ ] Joel Pinero(American League reject) shuts the Met's out 3-0
[ ] Knocked out of 1st place With 17 games remaining & a 7 game lead
[ ] Bobby Valentine thrown out of the game comes back with fake mustache
& glasses
[ ] Armando Benitez cracks under pressure
[ ] Paul Loduca caught with 19 year old Huntington girl
3. Reasons you believe the Mets have not won a World Series since 1986:
[ ] Lack of Pitching
[ ] Lack of Hitting
[ ] Poor Management
[ ] Lack of Defense
[ ] Bad calls by Umpires
4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable
Mets loss: (Check all that apply)
[ ] Headache [ ] Uncontrolled Anger
[ ] Heartache [ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea [ ] Smashed TV screens
[ ] Depression [ ] Avoided Yankee fans for days or weeks
5. Is October your least favorite time of year?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
6. Are you tired of saying "Wait till next year?
[ ] Yes [ ] No
7. Are you ready to admit that:
a) Joe Torre is a better manager than Booby V or Willie.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b) Derek Jeter is better than Jose Reyes.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
c) The Rocket never intentionally threw at Piazza.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
d) The American League is far superior to the National League.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
e) The DH Rule is a great thing.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
Once you have completed this form, please forward to Yankee Stadium.
Then burn all your remaining Mets clothing, memorabilia, and associated
reminders. After reviewing your request, the Yankee Fan Club will
contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.
If accepted, you will receive:
* A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of
Frank Sinatra singing "New York, New York" over and over again
* An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2007 World Series at
Yankee Stadium
* Posters of Jeter & Rodriguez in Yankee uniforms wearing their
championship rings
* A dart board sporting a picture of Omar
* A copy of our popular handbook, "Harassing Met Fans for Fun
and Profit"
* A coupon for a future poster of Johan Santana in a Yankee uniform
* A special DVD of Jose Reyes defensive highlights and a never-
before-seen video of his audition for the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz
singing "If I Only had a Heart"
* A one-year subscription to a weekly support group for ex-Met
fans in your area
If rejected, you will receive:
* Our pity and condolences, plus a 26 second video capturing the
past 30 years of Mets highlights in head-to-head competition
against the Yankees narrated by Tom Seaver.
I hereby renounce the NY Mets for all eternity on this the
_______day of_________________, 200__
__________________________________
(Signed)
(Office Use Only)
[ ] Approved
_________________________________________
George M. Steinbrenner
[ ] Declined
