www.jollyroger.com WHY BEING A YOUNG LIBERAL MUST BE LIKE SO DARN DEPRESSING
Drake Raft
THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
This is cool. I mean we have a perfect demonstration here of what goes on
on a daily basis in the liberal "there are no truths so let's make up
reality" publishing world. Like the one distinguishing feature of
liberal/socialist/slackademics is that they believe themselves to be
superior to everyone. And because they can't create words that mean
things to the people, they don't want you to either, because they are
superior to you, and if they can't see a way to do it, it logically
follows that you shouldn't be able to do it either. For as
aforementioned, they are superior to you. This is kinda like
outcome-based education, and they want us all to be equal in their
nihilism.
So like when you've got a good think going, like THE JOLLY ROGER, the
young socialist slackademicw devote themselves to
twisting the Truth, contorting Reality, and denying the Facts. They have
no shame, and rather than attempting to Create something cool,
artistically reflecting the Truth, they choose thunder their bold-faced
lies and pernicious innuendoes accross the usenet. They, like their
brethern in the liberal press, understand the power of unfounded lies to
paint a picture of Reality that suits their ambitious mediocrity.
But they will fail in their pitiful efforts to stall THE JOLLY ROGER. For
creating is more fun than destroying. If they want to grow old telling
the world on how THE JOLLY ROGER isn't real, that'll be cool, as speakers
of the Truth such as Socrates, Jesus, and Rush were all maligned
incessantly by the liberal elite on their way to Greatness. It is my
sincere honor to have John Scalzi hate me so much that he reads me every
day.
In order to succeed as a writer, one must respect Humanity, and thus the
Truth. The modern liberal condescends to the former, and disregards the
latter, and thus they're sinking in the ROGER's wake.
Not only did THE JOLLY ROGER get a sterling review in the Global Online
Directory (G.O.D), but we've also been ranked in the top 5% of all WWW
pages, we're a feature link at the Big Eye site, and we're featured in a
book entitled AMAZING WEB PAGES, published by maranGraphics, which happens
to be Canada's largest book publisher.
And in addition to that, check out what normal people are saying about us:
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/response.html
And check out what some more of them are saying about us:
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/responsem.html
THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
THE JOLLY ROGER-- To be featured in the upcoming AMAZING WEB PAGES.
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
THE JOLLY ROGER-- AS REVIEWD BY THE GLOBAL ONLINE DIRECTORY
The Jolly Roger
Go here. Do not pass go. Whatever your tastes or politics, it's
tough not to enjoy this smart-alecky, skillfully written and
provocative online magazine. Literary, generational and plain-old
politics take it on the chin from this threesome.
Serdar Yegulalp
dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>In order to succeed as a writer, one must respect Humanity, and thus the
>Truth.
Knowing how to spell doesn't hurt either. Crack that copy of Strunk & White
yet?
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com IRC: GinRei
http://www.io.com/~syegul another worldly device...
____________________________________________________________________________
Patrick Farley
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Nine diagnostic criteria
from DSM-IV (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders,
fourth revision). All pasted quotes courtesy of Elliot McGucken:
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior),
need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by
early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as
indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1.has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g.,
exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be
recognized as superior without commensurate
achievements)
>Dude-- as a marketing expert in this Great Country you have the moral
>responsibility to Market and Promote Literary Greatness. All I'm saying
>is that you'd be better able to serve Hotwired, the people, and thus
>yourself by doing so. I expect a permanent link on Hotwired's front page
2.is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success,
power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
> Dude-- we're like saving Western Civilization, navigating flawlessly
> through the postmodern fog, blowing slackademics out of the water with
> shots fired in the context of the Western Canon. We're like twenty-seven
> years old, and all the liberally-dominated tabloids like THE CHRONICLE OF
> HIGHER EDUCATION and WIRED are ignoring us, thereby lending us a supreme
> credibility. Make no mistake-- the next millenium, along with half of
> eternity, is ours.
3.believes that he or she is "special" and unique and
can only be understood by, or should associate
with, other special or high-status people (or
institutions)
> A year in print and already (Elliot's book) is not worth talking about!
> And yet it was compared to Huckleberry Finn by the New York postmodern
> literary elite!
4.requires excessive admiration
> Not only did THE JOLLY ROGER get a sterling review in the Global Online
> Directory (G.O.D), but we've also been ranked in the top 5% of all WWW
> pages, we're a feature link at the Big Eye site, and we're featured in a
> book entitled AMAZING WEB PAGES, published by maranGraphics, which happens
> to be Canada's largest book publisher.
5.has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable
expectations of especially favorable treatment or
automatic compliance with his or her expectations
> Avast there me merry maties on misc.writing! Many of you think that the largest
> literary journal in the world, THE JOLLY ROGER, has nothing to do with writing. It is
> exactly this prevalent liberal attitude which is preventing me from being hired at
> Princeton to teach sober poetry for only $30,000 a year.
6.is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage
of others to achieve his or her own ends
> Check out our new Jolly Roger public relations executive, Cathy from
> Germany.
> http://jollyroger.com/supermodel.html
7.lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify
with the feelings and needs of others
> Dude-- yer web page sucks.
>
> I haven't been there, but like I know it must, because you have a bad
> attitude.
8.is often envious of others or believes that others are
envious of him or her
> But they will fail in their pitiful efforts to stall THE JOLLY ROGER. For
> creating is more fun than destroying. If they want to grow old telling
> the world on how THE JOLLY ROGER isn't real, that'll be cool, as speakers
> of the Truth such as Socrates, Jesus, and Rush were all maligned
> incessantly by the liberal elite on their way to Greatness. It is my
> sincere honor to have John Scalzi hate me so much that he reads me every
> day.
9.shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
> We'll teach you how to think.
Nine out of nine, Elliot. Maybe it's time to tap your University's
mental health resources.
John Michael Scalzi, II
dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
> It is my
>sincere honor to have John Scalzi hate me so much that he reads me every
>day.
Oh, Elliot. Stop talking about me so much. People will think we're in
love.
-----------
John Michael Scalzi, II
Writer/Editor, America Online
We pay up to $250 for humor -- see "http://members.aol.com/DeliteEd"
Personal -- http://members.gnn.com/jscalzi
"Some folks are just a murder waiting to happen."
--- Kristine Blauser Scalzi
Drake Raft
Check out our fan mail:
THE JOLLY ROGER http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Date: Wed, 01 May 1996 22:02:01 -0500
From: Riad Wahby
To: bec...@jollyroger.com
Subject: The Beacon for Lost Mariners in the Seas of Politics
Ahoy JollyRoger!
As a freshman in high school I find your letter especially
enlighhtening. I find that the unfairness and incongruity imposed by
modern liberalism is being "eaten up" by people of my generation because
of class warfare and other social factors that, in my opinion, emulate
communism.
I'd like to personally thank you for the great letter that you
have created--I have a printed copy of every one that I have recieved
since joining the list. I'd also like to point out some interesting
lyrics that I think express the message that I agree with totally and that
you are trying to show in each and every one of your issues. They are
from a song by Coolio, a rapper, who says:
"Tell me why are we
so blind to see
that the ones we hurt
are you and me."
--(from Gangsta's Paradise, #3 on the Coolio Album "Gangsta's Paradise")
This is the question that I ask myself each time I am engaged in a
debate over politics and I am wondering if I am the only one that feels
the way I do--Conservatism is so obviously correct that we are "blind to
see" that liberalism (with a lower-case l) is bad for us and it hurts "you
and me".
and me".
This message also comes across in another way: Why is it that
liberals are so blind to the fact that handing out condoms to
schoolchildren is NOT the answer to our problems. The ones we are hurting
with our social programs, spending, and all other liberal
pseudo-intellectual crap are ourselves--we lessen our effectiveness and
endorse Paternalist ideals.
Therefore I'd like to sincerely congratulate you on, again, being
the one "lighthouse" in the night of liberalism.
Thank you once again,
Riad Wahby
John Michael Scalzi, II (JSc...@gnn.com) wrote:
Drake Raft
Hey there Dude-- Elliot's a good friend of mine, and like I'm getting
tired of y'all putting Becket's words into his mouth. Elliot's the humble
one, pretty much, while Becket doesn't mind talkin', now and then, but
like so what? If you can do it, it isn't boastin'. Anyway-- we're
self-made men, and because you didn't make us, ye'll never break us. THE
JOLLY ROGER's only getting bigger, dude. We own the new millenium.
Patrick Farley (pat...@organic.com) wrote:
: Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Nine diagnostic criteria
: 4.requires excessive admiration
: > incessantly by the liberal elite on their way to Greatness. It is my
: > sincere honor to have John Scalzi hate me so much that he reads me every
: > day.
: 9.shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
Dave Scocca
In article <56605s$1...@newz.oit.unc.edu>,
Drake Raft <dra...@email.unc.edu> wrote:
\ Hey there Dude-- Elliot's a good friend of mine, and like I'm getting
\ tired of y'all putting Becket's words into his mouth. Elliot's the humble
\ one, pretty much, while Becket doesn't mind talkin', now and then, but
\ like so what? If you can do it, it isn't boastin'. Anyway-- we're
\ self-made men, and because you didn't make us, ye'll never break us. THE
\ JOLLY ROGER's only getting bigger, dude. We own the new millenium.
I guess "self-made men" _could_ refer to one's fictional alter egos.
It's a new sense of the term, though.
D.
--
* The Minstrel in the Gallery http://sunsite.unc.edu/scocca/ *
* D. A. Scocca (sco...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu) "Heteroskedastic" *
* "My love does not, cannot _make_ her happy. My love can only *
* release in her the capacity to be happy." --J. Barnes *
Serdar Yegulalp
On 11 Nov 1996 02:32:44 GMT, sco...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu (Dave Scocca) wrote:
>In article <56605s$1...@newz.oit.unc.edu>,
>Drake Raft <dra...@email.unc.edu> wrote:
>\ Hey there Dude-- Elliot's a good friend of mine, and like I'm getting
>\ tired of y'all putting Becket's words into his mouth. Elliot's the humble
>\ one, pretty much, while Becket doesn't mind talkin', now and then, but
>\ like so what? If you can do it, it isn't boastin'. Anyway-- we're
>\ self-made men, and because you didn't make us, ye'll never break us. THE
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>\ JOLLY ROGER's only getting bigger, dude. We own the new millenium.
>
>I guess "self-made men" _could_ refer to one's fictional alter egos.
>It's a new sense of the term, though.
Well, calling Elliot a "self-made man" relieves the Almighty of a ghastly
responsibility.
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com EFNet IRC: GinRei
Patrick Farley
> Hey there Dude-- Elliot's a good friend of mine, and like I'm getting
> tired of y'all putting Becket's words into his mouth. Elliot's the humble
> one, pretty much, while Becket doesn't mind talkin', now and then, but
> like so what?
Elliot, maybe you can answer a question for me.
On Handelman's Real Audio radio show back in July, a caller named Eric
asked why you write under several pseudonyms. You admitted that you do
so, explaining, "I'm just having some fun," or something to that effect.
Now you yet again are claiming to be 5 people.
What are we supposed to infer from this? Does this mean that you:
a) aren't serious about any of this (in which case, we shouldn't take
anything you say seriously)
b) have a short memory
c) are hoping *we* have a short memory
d) are a pathological liar
e) suffer from dissociative personality disorder in addition to
narcissism
f) are really Thomas Pynchon?
????????????
As always, I await your cogent and extremely lucid response.
Patrick Farley
Elliot McGucken typed:
>
> Check out our fan mail:
<Possibly forged adulation snipped to conserve bandwidth>
Elliot, anybody with a page on the Web gets positive e-mail on a semi-regular basis.
The only difference between us and you is that the rest of us don't feel the need to wave
it in everybody's face.
<subtle hint> Continual self-congratulation is not only a symptom of Narcisstic
Personality Disorder, it's also a defining Boomer trait</subtle hint>
Your Number One Fan and Unpaid Personal Therapist,
Patrick Farley
Serdar Yegulalp
On 11 Nov 1996 17:30:45 -0500, mmc...@larry.cc.emory.edu (Malinda McCall)
wrote:
>Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
>: Yes, Elliot, it must get awful crowded in there. So many personalities for
>: such a tiny head.
>:
>: To get some extra room up there, I recommend liposuction.
>
>Oh, you saw this Sunday's _X-Files_ TOO? :)
>
>*GrrrrroooOOOOOOOOOuesome!*
That's the second time we've seen a fat-sucking monster on the X-files!
As Homer Simpson would say... "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Lipids!"
Tom Salyers
Drake Raft (dra...@email.unc.edu) wrote:
> Anyway-- we're self-made men, [...]
All together now, and let's make it *loud*:
"Thus demonstrating the dangers of unskilled labor."
--
Tom Salyers "Now is the Windows of our disk contents
IRCnick: Aqualung Made glorious SimEarth by this Sun of Zork."
Denver, CO --from _Richard v3.0_
Serdar Yegulalp
On 11 Nov 1996 01:40:12 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Hey there Dude-- Elliot's a good friend of mine, and like I'm getting
>tired of y'all putting Becket's words into his mouth. Elliot's the humble
>one, pretty much, while Becket doesn't mind talkin', now and then, but
>like so what? If you can do it, it isn't boastin'.
Okay. This is not a boast: I wrote six novels. You?
>Anyway-- we're
>self-made men, and because you didn't make us, ye'll never break us. THE
>JOLLY ROGER's only getting bigger, dude. We own the new millenium.
Yes, Elliot, it must get awful crowded in there. So many personalities for
such a tiny head.
To get some extra room up there, I recommend liposuction.
Serdar Yegulalp
dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Check out our fan mail:
1) This is the umpteenth time you've reposted this letter.
2) It contains Rap Music Lyrics, which if I'm not mistaken, is a Tool of
the Liberal Medicants to suck the gray matter out of the skulls of youth
and make them slacker welfare recipients who have to resort to shooting
heroin and playing guitars to be successful. (Did I miss any of your
favorite cliches?)
3) The song was originally about black-on-black violence, not "how bad
liberalism is for us", but it's not like you're terribly parched for a
thirst for factual truth, anyway.
Mr. Wahby, if you're out there, please get in touch.
* * *
Once again, for your convenience:
Books STILL Gathering Dust On Elliot's Shelf
1) Strunk & White's The Elements of Style
2) Webster's Collegiate Dictionary
3) The Diamond Age
4) Voltaire's Bastards
5) Moby-Dick, Brave New World, 1984, The Great Gatsby, and all those other
books Elliot CLAIMS to have read which he persistently shows an astonishing
lack of comprehension of.
And last but certainly not least:
6) MacGuffey's Primers, Vols. 1-10
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com IRC: GinRei
John Michael Scalzi, II
dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Check out our fan mail:
"Our"?
Elliot, you must stop leaping around everytime one of your folks shows
a spasm of literacy. Oh, sure, I know it's an unusual event, notable
for its rarity, but DO please try to keep yourself under control.
Back to your "Curious George" books, Elliot.
Drake Raft
Dude-- we're rocking the world with thought, and just because you've spent
two years hating us doesn't mean we're going to turn our back on this
generation and all generations to come.
Avast! Come help us pirate the Western Heritage which has been buried
'neath postmodernism, feminism, and grunge! Ye can sign aboard THE JOLLY
ROGER by sending join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com !
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyorger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
CHARTER: alt.culture.jollyroger will be a laid-back talk-parlor for the
over 10,000 fans and detractors who have signed aboard THE JOLLY ROGER,
the largest literary magazine on the net and the flagship of the WWW
literary revolution. Many subscribers have expressed that they would enjoy
having access to a forum supporting a free-for-all discussion pertaining
to current cultural and academic issues that are often discussed in the
literature and articles published aboard THE JOLLY ROGER. We thought this
would be a great idea, as THE JOLLY ROGER is unable to publish all the
cool e-mail we receive from all the interesting people scattered across
the globe. So we hope to open alt.culture.jollyroger to all our fellow
sailors who have at one time or another had their souls exalted by Great
Literature created in the context of our Western Heritage.
THE JOLLY ROGER can be read at
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Patrick Farley (pat...@organic.com) wrote:
: Elliot McGucken typed:
: >
: > Check out our fan mail:
: <Possibly forged adulation snipped to conserve bandwidth>
Drake Raft
Dude-- like this response makes no sense. Why don't ye say something
cool? That's teh thing with ye liberal nihilists. Like whenever somebody
starts talking about issues, and Greatness, and morality, you just respond
with a bunch of indecipherable crap, roll a joint, and vote for Clinton.
THE JOLLY ROGER http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jolyroger.html
Tom Salyers (tsal...@dimensional.com) wrote:
: Drake Raft (dra...@email.unc.edu) wrote:
: > Anyway-- we're self-made men, [...]
Drake Raft
Avast! I only wish I had more formidable enemies! But like y'all are
just a bunch of nihilisitic slackademic critics! If only one of ye
attempted Greatness, then perhaps we could serve to inspire one-another.
At least Jesse-Garon set up a website! Argrhrgrhr! C'mon there me
maties! Attempt to write a sonnet or a sentence that touches somebody's
soul! 'Tis what THE JOLLY ROGER is all about!
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Dave Scocca (sco...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu) wrote:
: In article <56605s$1...@newz.oit.unc.edu>,
: Drake Raft <dra...@email.unc.edu> wrote:
: \ Hey there Dude-- Elliot's a good friend of mine, and like I'm getting
: \ tired of y'all putting Becket's words into his mouth. Elliot's the humble
: \ one, pretty much, while Becket doesn't mind talkin', now and then, but
: \ like so what? If you can do it, it isn't boastin'. Anyway-- we're
: \ self-made men, and because you didn't make us, ye'll never break us. THE
: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
: \ JOLLY ROGER's only getting bigger, dude. We own the new millenium.
: I guess "self-made men" _could_ refer to one's fictional alter egos.
: It's a new sense of the term, though.
: D.
Serdar Yegulalp
On 13 Nov 1996 04:18:07 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Avast! I only wish I had more formidable enemies! But like y'all are
>just a bunch of nihilisitic slackademic critics! If only one of ye
>attempted Greatness, then perhaps we could serve to inspire one-another.
>At least Jesse-Garon set up a website! Argrhrgrhr! C'mon there me
>maties! Attempt to write a sonnet or a sentence that touches somebody's
>soul! 'Tis what THE JOLLY ROGER is all about!
Okay.
Here, then, is an excerpt from a short story of mine in progress, entitled
"The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura." (The title is derived from a Japanese legend, in
which the Heike clan, after clashing with their enemies, the Taira, died en
masse off the coast of Dan-no-Ura. The crabs in the region -- and this part
is true -- have markings on their carapaces that look eerily like the
scowling faces of samurai. Said image ties in with a deep-seated theme in
the story.)
The plot so far: Dr. Goh, a pre-eminent psychotherapist from Beijing, has
been called in to help Shun-min, a singer who has been threatened by
parties unknown and driven into hiding.. She has recently attempted
suicide, and the doctor is attempting to help her.
Enjoy.
(C) 1996 Serdar Yegulalp. Not-for-profit redistribution permitted with
copyright notice intact.
* * *
....There was no trust between Dr. Goh and Shun-min for a
solid month, and there was little progress in either of
their work. Expensive retakes in the studio ended in
vicious, tearful arguments with the other musicians. In Dr.
Goh's office overlooking the Taipei River, Shun-min either
castigated her manager or disparaged Goh's hair or costume
or objectivity -- anything to keep at bay the man's solemn
probing at her. Only one chink in both of their armors
appeared to either of them.
In his mind, Goh was certain that she had used her
creativity as a way of vaulting over the walls in her own
life -- a woman in a man's world; a woman with a mother who
did domestic chores and a father who welded; a host of other
things. According to her own tentative words to him on the
subject, she had started early and stayed with it, without
quite knowing why.
"It satisfied something in you," Dr. Goh ventured.
"It's not something I can explain," she said. "I... "
She licked her lips. "I think it'll only make sense if I
just demonstrate. If I sing."
For no reason he could discern, the inside of Dr. Goh's
mouth went dry on him. He nodded.
She installed an instrumental version of one of her
songs on the tape deck on a corner of the desk and pressed
PLAY.
"It's 'The Dress You Gave Me'," she said.
And sang.
In the closeness of the office her voice sounded worlds
different from the way it did in a concert hall or a record.
He could hear how careful her control over her breathing was,
how there was never a moment when she actually seemed to be
drawing breath, and never let it interfere with the music.
On a record there would be no end of opportunities to correct
such mistakes, but now it dawned on Dr. Goh that she never
made such mistakes in the first place. He let out his breath
in a hard spasm at one point and realized he had been holding it.
She could sustain a note perfectly for nearly a minute on
end, and when she did, Dr. Goh could not bring himself to
look directly at her at first. When he did, he saw her eyes
were closed, gently at first and then pinching down on
themselves tighter and tighter as her voice slid from a cry
to a near-scream at the end of the song.
Something that to Dr. Goh felt like a wave of warmth
and strength swept through the room and crashed into him.
If it was an emotional reaction, it was the most
profound and uncontrolled emotional reaction he had ever had
in his life. Parents dying and failures with patients were
all vague and distant next to it, like the phantom twinges
from an amputated limb. His fingers tightened on the sides
of the chair, as if he were in fear of being swept clear of
it.
Shun-min's eyes opened and she saw Goh with his mouth
slightly open and his fingers digging viciously into his own
thigh. She cursed and began to cry uncontrollably. Dr Goh
brought her gingerly over to the couch and phoned for a cab.
"I did it again," she whispered.
"Did what?"
"Same as with Sheh Chai."
"What is that?"
"I don't know."
There was no more from her. Not without trust, Goh said
to himself.
Later that night, alone and with the album version of
the same song on his tape player, Goh sat with theories and
possibilities chasing each other in his head like bees in a
jug. On the page in front of him was the key-word of his
theory, "rebellion": a protest by an individual, whether
conscious or unconscious, whether directed or undirected,
against the forces that contained it. Originally with her,
it had taken the form of effort expended on her music. With
her music nigh-perfect, he thought, maybe the music was now
just a carrier for the same rebellious instinct -- on
another level?
In his sleep he saw the crabs of Dan-no-Ura scuttling
across wet rocks....
* * *
And there's six-and-a-half novels, and plenty of other stores to choose
from.
I think I'm going to refute by example from now on...
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com EFNet IRC: GinRei
Drake Raft
Avast! Ahoy! Argrhrgrhrghr! The keel of me mighty ship is crushing yer
liberal canoes! Argrhrgrhr! While me friends keep on getting divorced and
passing out after drinking too much, ye yet deny God a place in academia
where one might seek an alternative to this spartan culture! Avast! But
we welcome God aboard the Good Ship, says I, and it is to Him that we owe
our smashing success! Avast! suck.com sucks!
THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
THE JOLLY ROGER-- To be featured in the upcoming AMAZING WEB PAGES.
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
THE JOLLY ROGER-- AS REVIEWD BY THE GLOBAL ONLINE DIRECTORY
The Jolly Roger
Go here. Do not pass go. Whatever your tastes or politics, it's
tough not to enjoy this smart-alecky, skillfully written and
provocative online magazine. Literary, generational and plain-old
politics take it on the chin from this threesome.
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: On 13 Nov 1996 04:20:33 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
: >Dude-- like this response makes no sense. Why don't ye say something
: >cool? That's teh thing with ye liberal nihilists. Like whenever somebody
: >starts talking about issues, and Greatness, and morality, you just respond
: >with a bunch of indecipherable crap, roll a joint, and vote for Clinton.
: Hm! Sounds like your strategy in reverse, actually You respond with a bunch
: of "Arrghs!" and "Ahoys!" and "Avasts!" and other such drivel, sneer at
: people rolling a joint, and vote for yourself.
: (If you want me to say something cool, see my other post in this thread.)
: ____________________________________________________________________________
Drake Raft
If ye wish to read a little bit here, and a little bit there, sample some
religion, and some nihilism, screw around, do some drugs, brown-nose a
liberal her and there, then relativism is fine for ye.
But if ye are going to Captain a Ship, then by God ye had better know
where ye are going! Ye had better keep the sails trimmed and the rudder
straight, and a sober mind will only help ye in this endeavor!
suck.com sucks
THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
THE JOLLY ROGER-- AS REVIEWD BY THE GLOBAL ONLINE DIRECTORY
The Jolly Roger
Go here. Do not pass go. Whatever your tastes or politics, it's
tough not to enjoy this smart-alecky, skillfully written and
provocative online magazine. Literary, generational and plain-old
politics take it on the chin from this threesome.
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
Serdar Yegulalp
On 13 Nov 1996 16:58:08 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Avast! Ahoy! Argrhrgrhrghr! The keel of me mighty ship is crushing yer
>liberal canoes! Argrhrgrhr! While me friends keep on getting divorced and
>passing out after drinking too much, ye yet deny God a place in academia
>where one might seek an alternative to this spartan culture! Avast! But
>we welcome God aboard the Good Ship, says I, and it is to Him that we owe
>our smashing success! Avast! suck.com sucks!
You sound like you've been drinking too much yourself, with all that
gargling going on.
Consdering the quality of discourse I get from you, I wouldn't be surprised
if the company you keep has a high partnership-turnover rate. Are they all
as insufferably boorish as you?
Serdar Yegulalp
On 13 Nov 1996 04:20:33 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Dude-- like this response makes no sense. Why don't ye say something
>cool? That's teh thing with ye liberal nihilists. Like whenever somebody
>starts talking about issues, and Greatness, and morality, you just respond
>with a bunch of indecipherable crap, roll a joint, and vote for Clinton.
Hm! Sounds like your strategy in reverse, actually You respond with a bunch
of "Arrghs!" and "Ahoys!" and "Avasts!" and other such drivel, sneer at
people rolling a joint, and vote for yourself.
(If you want me to say something cool, see my other post in this thread.)
Drake Raft
To criticize nihilism is to give it a compliment it does not deserve.
THE JOLLY ROGER http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: On 13 Nov 1996 16:53:41 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
: >If ye wish to read a little bit here, and a little bit there, sample some
: >religion, and some nihilism, screw around, do some drugs, brown-nose a
: >liberal her and there, then relativism is fine for ye.
: Meaning what?
: I just gave you a perfect chance to criticize my writing fair and square,
: and what do you come up with? More of the same.
: Come on, bucko. Even you can do better than that. If you can cough up a few
: thousand words to kick a dog like THE RULE OF THE BONE, then you can sure
: as God made little kids offer me something more substantial to chew on.
: I'm waiting.
Drake Raft
Dude-- THE JOLLY ROGER http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: On 13 Nov 1996 16:58:08 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
: >Avast! Ahoy! Argrhrgrhrghr! The keel of me mighty ship is crushing yer
: >liberal canoes! Argrhrgrhr! While me friends keep on getting divorced and
: >passing out after drinking too much, ye yet deny God a place in academia
: >where one might seek an alternative to this spartan culture! Avast! But
: >we welcome God aboard the Good Ship, says I, and it is to Him that we owe
: >our smashing success! Avast! suck.com sucks!
: You sound like you've been drinking too much yourself, with all that
: gargling going on.
: Consdering the quality of discourse I get from you, I wouldn't be surprised
: if the company you keep has a high partnership-turnover rate. Are they all
: as insufferably boorish as you?
Patrick Farley
Elliot "the Blob" McGucken typed:
>
> Dude-- we're rocking the world with thought, and just because you've spent
> two years hating us doesn't mean we're going to turn our back on this
> generation and all generations to come.
1. It's been 13 months.
2. I don't hate you; you are a source of constant entertainment
3. Ad populums are a sure sign you've lost the argument.
Well Elliot, as is your gelatinous nature, you oozed around the hard questions, and never
explained why you persist in lying/joking about your identity. I sure hope you make
another appearance on Handelman's show again, because I'll call up and core you a new
sphincter without remorse.
> Avast! I only wish I had more formidable enemies! But like y'all are
> just a bunch of nihilisitic slackademic critics!
Very well. I didn't want to do this -- natural modesty prohibits me from this kind of
self-promotion-- but here's what I've been doing on the web this last year:
a) My own personal homepage -- which contains an autobiography in progress. Several
months ago a Presbyterian minister e-mailed me and asked if he could use one of my
journal entries as a sermon in his church. This was probably the best validation of my
writing I've received to date. (Well, actually, there was one greater validation, but that's
personal and if you want to know about it you'll have to go to my page and read it for
yourself...) Also, my page has been written up and reviewed in several online directories.
Yippie skippie!
b) In Orbit Around the Web -- a little e-zine I've tinkered with for the last year and
half. IOATW has been selected as a Cool Site of the Day, the Hot Site of the Nite, and
garnered one of those Top 5% of the Web awards. It was also written up in a book called
The Coolest 1001 Websites. And you know -- BFD! Who cares? The reason this thing is
important to me at all is that it's given me a chance to exercise my essay-writing and
graphics skills. It's almost purely a creation of self-indulgence, but I've kept it alive
because of all the positive feedback I've gotten via e-mail.
c) The Prime8 Gallery -- some of my artwork online.
d) The Official Robert Anton Wilson Homepages -- a page done for and with my favorite
living author, Robert Anton Wilson. It would be inappropriate for me to brag about this
page, but how many people get to collaborate creatively with their teenage literary
heroes? I've been extremely lucky for this opportunity. I don't mean to pull a
"nyah-nyah" here, but by all means, Elliot, let me know when Rush's agent contacts you
to work on the official Limbaugh website.
Oh yeah -- the Official RAW page has won another Top 5% of the Web award, and a
five-star award from Internet Underground magazine, and, most importantly, it's DOBBS
APPROVED.
I didn't list the URLs for any of these sites because I didn't want you accusing me of riding
your spamtails. If you want to see them, you can search for them in AltaVista, or e-mail
me for the URLs.
And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go respond to some Doctress Neutopia posts. She's
not as consistently entertaining as you, Elliot, but the response threads she generates
sure are a laff riot.
Your Number One Fan,
Patrick Farley
Serdar Yegulalp
On 13 Nov 1996 16:53:41 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>If ye wish to read a little bit here, and a little bit there, sample some
>religion, and some nihilism, screw around, do some drugs, brown-nose a
>liberal her and there, then relativism is fine for ye.
Meaning what?
I just gave you a perfect chance to criticize my writing fair and square,
and what do you come up with? More of the same.
Come on, bucko. Even you can do better than that. If you can cough up a few
thousand words to kick a dog like THE RULE OF THE BONE, then you can sure
as God made little kids offer me something more substantial to chew on.
I'm waiting.
Serdar Yegulalp
On 13 Nov 1996 19:51:33 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Dude-- THE JOLLY ROGER http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Elliot -- http://www.io.com/~syegul.
Two can play.
Serdar Yegulalp
On 13 Nov 1996 19:48:50 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>To criticize nihilism is to give it a compliment it does not deserve.
Please describe how what I wrote was "nihilism".
Granted, maybe a snippet from the story isn't enough to give the flavor of
the whole work, but I'd be curious to see what you meant by this. If you,
in fact, have anything of substance to say besides one-line dismissals of
the issue.
Be specific: How is Dr. Goh a nihilist? How is Shun-Min a nihilist? How am
I a nihilist? How have I advocated nihilism in "The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura"?
And while we're at it, could you offer me your notion of what you consider
a nilihist? The way I understand it, a nihilist is someone who uses
whatever situational ethic presents itself for self-aggrandization, and
does not maintain any *consistent* philosophy.
Care to debate me?
No, of course you don't.
Drake Raft
The more ye talk, the bigger the Roger gets. Send me yer address, and
I'll send ye a free t-shirt.
suck.com sucks
SAILING INTO THE DAWN OF A BRAND NEW LITERARY ERA.
alt.culture.jollyroger
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
Check out why these poets own guns:
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Argrhrghr me merry maties! Check out our pistol gif animations at
THE JOLLY ROGER ANIMATION GALLERY
http://jollyroger.com/animation.html
Feel free to pirate them for yer own www pages, just as long as ye provide a
link back to THE JOLLY ROGER at
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html.
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: On 13 Nov 1996 19:48:50 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
: >To criticize nihilism is to give it a compliment it does not deserve.
: Please describe how what I wrote was "nihilism".
: Granted, maybe a snippet from the story isn't enough to give the flavor of
: the whole work, but I'd be curious to see what you meant by this. If you,
: in fact, have anything of substance to say besides one-line dismissals of
: the issue.
: Be specific: How is Dr. Goh a nihilist? How is Shun-Min a nihilist? How am
: I a nihilist? How have I advocated nihilism in "The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura"?
: And while we're at it, could you offer me your notion of what you consider
: a nilihist? The way I understand it, a nihilist is someone who uses
: whatever situational ethic presents itself for self-aggrandization, and
: does not maintain any *consistent* philosophy.
: Care to debate me?
: No, of course you don't.
Serdar Yegulalp
dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
> There can be only one, and there is:
Mercifully, there's only one.
You watch HIGHLANDER much, Elliot?
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com IRC: GinRei
http://www.io.com/~syegul another worldly device...
____________________________________________________________________________
you can crush me as I speak/write on rocks what you feel/now feel this truth
Serdar Yegulalp
dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>The more ye talk, the bigger the Roger gets. Send me yer address, and
>I'll send ye a free t-shirt.
Sorry, a t-shirt isn't an answer. I'll repeat my questions, and I'd like a
directed answer this time.
1) How is Dr. Goh a nihilist?
2) How is Shun-Min a nihilist?
3) How am I a nihilist?
4) How have I advocated nihilism in "The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura"?
5) And while we're at it, could you offer me your notion of what you
consider a nilihist?
Don't tell me you're afraid of a little intellectual debate, now.
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com IRC: GinRei
http://www.io.com/~syegul another worldly device...
____________________________________________________________________________
Drake Raft
netcruiser> Distribution: <56d8s5$7...@newz.oit.unc.edu> <328c5768...@nntp.netcruiser> <56e2t2$f...@newz.oit.unc.edu> <328b1b4...@nntp.netcruiser>
Distribution:
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
Dude-- this is Drake here. Get with it. You and Scalzi have gotten so
damn boring in your throughough, undeniable defeat. I have a feeling you
guys are going to grow old hating our Greatness.
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
ARGRHRHRGR! A beautiful weekend it was in Chapel Hill! Even though it's
raining right now, but hey-- the rain's cool too. Last night was the
perfect June night for a ride through the Carolina countryside with the
top down. A friend and I drove up to the deserted Duke University campus
and just sat on a bench and talked 'til about 2 AM. It was totally cool,
and I highly recommend it. Especially if she's totally pretty.
THE GRUNGESERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION
"We like the music, but we don't do the drugs."
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com to sign aboard!
The Jolly Roger is proud to not only be that largest literary publication
out of Chapel Hill, but it is also proud to be the largest literary
frigate in the world. We're happy to be serving over fifty countries
with Great Literature.
It is no coincidence that the WWW's most successful literary journal is
fabricated from planks of a conservative ideology, for all the frigates
built with the liberals' "words don't mean anything" philosophy don't
float. The resentniks will buoy 'em up with your tax dollars in the form
of NEA and NEH grants, but you can't pray a lie, even though the Sedyars
of the world will ceaselessly try. They ought to read up on the bible,
and then perhaps they'd realize that Cain was a sinner. I mean it's like
liberals are preparing for a naval battle by holding a conference in a
tax-funded hot-tub where they float paper boats and talk about how best to
write the legislation which will get them the money they'll need to build
a battle ship. What Roger's crew did is we just went right ahead and
built an aircraft carrier.
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Recently an article was picked up by the renowned journal DEOLOG which has
a print run of over 24,000. DEOLOG is an independant publication with no
ties to any religious or political groups. It's distibuted at
universities, places of worship, and businesses throughout New York and
California.
The article, part one of Mission Sacred Divinity, can be read in its
entirety at
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jr17.html
Here are some excerpts from the original piece:
Ahoy Black Hawk, House Plant Spanner, Terrible Ted, and Zachary B. Taylor!
Rig the sails to the truth's raging wind and weigh the anchor say I! Fire
the Western Canon as we sail forth, and may the resounding shot awaken the
moral imagination of this generation! It has been trampled upon,
corrupted, drugged, ravaged and denied it's Right to Life by the dervish
liberals and soulless advertising executives who have plundered the
publishing and educational institutions which were originally instituted
to protect and propagate the Permanent Things.
As the late Russel Kirk stated in the introduction of THE PERMANENT
THINGS:
"Another cause of literary decadence has been the centralization of
writing and publishing, which has tended to reduce diversity and
discussion in the realm of letters, has put powerful influence into the
hands of very small circles of writers, reviewers and publishers, has
ignored the literary interests of the great part of this population, and
has forced those outlanders to conform their tastes to the notions
prevalent in the literary capital. In these United States, the hegemony of
New York literary circles and publishing firms is nearly absolute. T.S.
Eliot said once that the worst form of expatriation for an American writer
is residence in New York City. Yet it is New York's book reviews in major
newspapers and magazines that determine the fate of nearly every new book
published in this country. A major reason why the writings of nihilists
and people possessed by the diabolic imagination sell well is that the New
York book-review media consistently puff up such books and authors,
apparently on principle, in part, a principle politically perverse."
We aboard THE JOLLY ROGER contend that the printed word, and thus
literature, reside at the root of culture. A decadent literature will be
reflected in a decadent culture. In the same way that liberals claim
character is of no significance in a President, so too is character
impossible to discern in their neon Novels. By the written word we
establish justice, by the written word we define character and moral
behavior, and by the printed word we acquaint ourselves with God. Thus to
say that words are meaningless, and to enforce this point of view upon
college campuses, is to deny the celebration of the Great God absolute.
And being that God is, "the centre and circumference of all democracy," to
deny God is to deny freedom.
It's not just that liberals are unable to write Great Literature, or that
they don't want to, but their primary objective is to prevent Great
Literature from reaching the people. Like the Biblical woman who would
rather have the baby cut in half rather than see it in the possession of
its rightful mother, the liberals would prefer that literature did not
exist. There is a reason for the liberal's abhorrence of the fundamental
vessel of Truth. There is no better way to maintain power, as President
Shapiro of Princeton well knows, than to muddy the waters, deceive the
people, and obfuscate reality to such a degree that the moral,
conscientious individual will feel repulsed and alienated, thus leaving
the nihilistic elite alone to perpetuate their power structure. By having
become so adept at this treacherous technique, liberals have ensured that
liberalism now possesses an unparalleled ability for self-propagation. By
writing and publishing pornographic, debased, nihilistic books that nobody
reads, the feminist is accomplishing several feats simultaneously. She is
making it harder to find good literature in the book store, she is
redefining literature so as to ensure rational people won't be inspired to
spend time contemplating it, and she is ensuring that her disciples will
be those who are attracted to professions but for the debased politics
alone. Thus the liberal agenda and institutionalized nihilism is
propagated, and 'tis why we say that as far as a liberal is concerned, it
is not important what gets written-- just as long as nobody reads it, and
that the author possesses an appropriate gender or sexual orientation.
Liberals buried the Greats and intentionally write books that suck, so as
to atrophy the Will to Read. And as the printed word wanes, so too does
the device which introduces the student to their moral imagination. The
academic liberals scramble for funds to finance programs that execute the
student's ability to think at a more fundamental level, with the hopes
that the student will resort to watching MTV to find out from heroin
addicts who one has to vote for to be cool. And MTV tells them to vote for
Clinton, because they can count on his administration to tax the people
and fund more liberal programs aimed at atrophying the young moral
imagination. And thus the vast amounts of money the liberals make by
tempting children of the world with indecency and pornography will
continue to pour in. As Elliot once wrote:
"Ahoy! Liberals strip kids down for ads, sell us pornographic nihilism to
erode our souls so we don't notice that feminist professors are destroying
the peaks of culture, thus eradicating the Way by which one might climb up
out of the postmodern fog. And the feminists destroy the peaks of higher
culture, making it ever more difficult to climb out of the postmodern fog,
so as to ensure that we remain numb to the fact that we have no
alternative to the alternative, nihilistic crap which the corporate
liberals erode our souls with. And the corporate liberals erode our souls
with their substance-inspired fog so that we won't notice that the
resentnik feminists are eradicating the peaks of our intellectual
heritage. Ahoy! This generation is assaulted on all sides I say! Thus this
generation enters into Holy Matrimony being told, Heads it shall prevail,
and Tails it won't. 'Tis a conspiracy so immense, 'gainst eternal love!"
But do not despair, for the reason why the liberals will ultimately fail
at their conscienceless campaign for power is the same reason why Marxism
never succeeded. At the base of each man's soul lies the notion of God.
And that is why the liberals are today being defeated, for though they can
tear down the external culture, and bury all the Great Books, it is far,
far more difficult to conceal a man's soul from himself, although that is
what liberal education is presently all about. I say God is resilient, and
as this generation matures we shall seek to assume the Divine
Responsibility of Adults. Ahoy! We sail forth upon the WWW to introduce a
generation to its moral imagination! And the Good Fight has just
commenced, me merry maties!
cccli.
Her softest expression caught in street light,
Wistful brown eyes, perceptive smiling mouth,
So warm for a first of December night,
Wispy clouds blew by-- sky winds from the south.
She has become something special to me,
In the way things were special yesterday,
When in a girl's face I saw but beauty,
And I could believe in the words I 'd say.
Oh but I became lost, drowned in the void,
It's hell to see but evil in a rose,
But there's something 'bout her, by which I'm buoyed,
There's an essence to her, more than a pose.
She touched me, I knew it would be alright,
My life was saved again on that starless night.
The ramifications of over fifty years of the liberally-led downward
cultural spiral has been the placement of socialist nihilists at the helms
of the presses and universities of this nation. And this has resulted in
the overall debasement of culture which affects all of us on a daily
basis. Even Harold Bloom, author of the Western Canon, erred in his
assertion that literature is ultimately an utterly useless thing. He
stated that literature exists but for aesthetic pleasure and
entertainment, and that it is wrong to view it as a source of moral
principles and platitudes. 'Tis not so. Great Literature embodies Great
Morality. For the creators of the Bible, from Moses to Amos to Jesus to
Matthew to Mark to Luke to John were all inspired by moral divinity. Bloom
states, "I am your true Marxist critic. . . I have been against, in turn,
the neo-Christian New Criticism of T.S. Elliot, and his academic
followers. . . and even more dubious moralities of the literary Canon." Ye
are a morbid individual, Harold, for in the opening of yer acclaimed book,
ye write a chapter entitled, "An Elegy for the Western Canon." Who gave
ye, a mere Marxist, the Authority to declare Dead that which Thrives in me
Eternal Soul!? Granted that the Canon is not being taught in the Academy,
but this signifies the death of the Academy, for the Canon is Immortal. Do
not confuse today's teacher's of the law with the Great God absolute! Ah
Harold! Are ye so quick to dismiss literature as an utterly useless thing
because ye yerself never created any? If ye don't feel the urge to express
the word of God, does that give ye the right to declare that God no longer
exists? It would seem that for the liberal this would be so. As for me, in
addition to hearing a man comment on what he thinks life meant to other
men, I would also like to hear what life meant to the man himself. And I
say that Harold Bloom's academically ubiquitous attitude has contributed
to the decline of the intellectual institutions of this nation. For he
himself laments that the career he enjoyed could not be pursued today, as
the resentnik culture has made the study of the Great Books impossible!
And where was ye, Mr. Bloom, when the feminist was attempting to murder my
soul in the creative writing class? Why were ye so content to let it die?
Instead of behaving like a religious bigot and discriminating against T.S.
Eliot because he was a Christian, ye would have done well to contemplate
the deeper significance of T.S. Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral:
Those who put their faith in worldly order,
Not controlled by the order of God,
In confidant ignorance, but arrest disorder,
Make it fast, breed fatal disease,
Degrade what they exalt.
Ahoy! Why did not the Marxist critic go to China or the Soviet Union to
pursue the career of a Marxist critic? Avast me maties-- this glaring
hypocrisy will only be reported aboard this Fine Frigate, for aboard this
deck we're not landlocked by liberalism's mountainous fallacies! To be
hired at a University, all ye liberals have to do is demonstrate
proficiency in hate towards some embodiment of Greatness! And Ahoy Bloom!
Dost ye pass judgment on me for stating that literature should be read and
taught with a moral purpose in mind? Ah yes, ye do, Captain Bloom! Ye
think ye are above me, in all your pedantry. Then ye too possess a
morality of yer own, which is rooted in the critic's snobbery, stating
that the critic's amorality should be held in higher esteem than the
artist's morality! Defund the liberal left academics, say I! For even
while appearing to serve greatness, ye are yet desecrating it!
Argrgrhrhrgrgrrhrgh!
But me faith is imperishable! For I think upon the moral Melville. Can ye
yet see Melville diligently laboring on BILLY BUDD after MOBY DICK had
been published and ignored by the literary experts of the day? Deep down
within the liberal critic is ashamed and embarrassed to receive a salary
to offer frivolous commentary on such holy scriptures as MOBY DICK, yet
their immense liberal ego prevents them from humbling themselves before
Greatness. And the Bible perpetually says unto the liberal critic: "Woe to
ye, teachers of the law and Pharisees, ye hypocrites! Ye build tombs for
the prophets and garnish the sepulchers of the righteous. Ye say, 'if we
had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with
them in the blood of their prophets.'" Ahoy! Ye write immense books on the
Western Canon, and simultaneously abandon the moral context in which the
Canon was written, and the moral aspect by which it was inspired. For the
enduring significance of Twain's, Shakespeare's, Melville's, and Conrad's
work is the fact that within it the moral character is enshrined in words.
The language derives its beauty from the subject. Tell me Bloom, that
Hamlet did not possess a moral conscience, nor did Ishmael, nor did
Huckleberry Finn, nor did Lord Jim, nor did Socrates, nor did Jesus, and
ye shall be a liar. The immortalization of the moral character is the
unifying aspect of all Great Literature.
Was Captain Melville out there petitioning the government for more money
to create, or writing eulogies for the Western Canon? Was he complaining
of oppression and discrimination or soliciting funds to offer his opinion
on other people's opinions? Nay! He was too busy serving God!
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
: > There can be only one, and there is:
: Mercifully, there's only one.
: You watch HIGHLANDER much, Elliot?
: ____________________________________________________________________________
Serdar Yegulalp
On 14 Nov 1996 17:08:10 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
>Dude-- this is Drake here. Get with it. You and Scalzi have gotten so
>damn boring in your throughough, undeniable defeat. I have a feeling you
>guys are going to grow old hating our Greatness.
Quite the contrary. You're the one refusing to answer a few simple
questions:
With regard to my short story "The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura":
1) How is Dr. Goh a nihilist?
2) How is Shun-Min a nihilist?
More generally:
3) How am I a nihilist?
4) How have I advocated nihilism in "The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura"?
5) And while we're at it, could you offer me your notion of what you
consider a nilihist?
You're not getting out of this one so easily.
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com EFNet IRC: GinRei
Drake Raft
suck.com sucks
Great Authors Don't Smoke Dope.
THE GOOD SHIP
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Twain, Melville, Shakespeare, Limbaugh, Einstein, Socrates, Jesus,
Jefferson, Mathew, Mark, Luke and John weren't heroin addicts.
Steven Tyler, at least half of Smashing Pumpkins, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt
Cobain, David Foster Wallace, a bunch of New York Models, Keith Richards,
Eric Clapton, and that Blind Melon dude were/are/will-be druggies.
I don't know about all of you socialist-slacker-entitlement types, but I'm
hangin' with the prior crowd, because I believe that life is far more
meaningful when lived in a rational manner.
You can do what you want, but like just don't get in the way of me
Frigate nor the Laws of the United States of America.
I say the wind's rising and things, and many of ye would be wise to learn
how to sail yer own frigate, for I say that the hulls of the postmodern
vessels ye are today shipping upon are filled with holes that are far too
vast to be filled by the postmodern soul. Aye-aye-- rumor has it ye have
not a Captain aboard yer ship.
Come aboard mine, and we'll teach ye Respect for the Truth.
--The Captain
Elliot Mcgucken (emcg...@email.unc.edu) wrote:
: THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
: JOIN OVER 5,000 ABOARD
: THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
: http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
: Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
: THE JOLLY ROGER-- To be featured in the upcoming AMAZING WEB PAGES.
: THE JOLLY ROGER
: http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
: THE JOLLY ROGER-- AS REVIEWD BY THE GLOBAL ONLINE DIRECTORY
: The Jolly Roger
: Go here. Do not pass go. Whatever your tastes or politics, it's
: tough not to enjoy this smart-alecky, skillfully written and
: provocative online magazine. Literary, generational and plain-old
: politics take it on the chin from this threesome.
: http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
: Below is the last letter I received from my girlfriend, just before the
: vindictive, mendicant liberals murdered her. The Pumpkin's Meloncolly
: was still playin' in the CD player when she was found.
: If this has happened to anyone out there, I would be interested in
: comiserating with you, or something. Please drop me a line at
: dr...@jollyroger.com
: Today I am seeking vengeance aboard THE JOLLY ROGER, the largest academic
: journal on the WWW and the cynosure of modern literature. You can sign
: aboard and get some too, or just sit back and relax on a deck-chair, and
: watch on as I deliver my Wrath.
: http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
: http://jollyroger.com http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/grungervative
: Windy believed in the eternal, in enduring love, and thus in the Truth.
: The Resentnik$, who long ago seized control of our intellectual
: in$titution$, punished her, and then abandoned her to the Hollywood
: vultures and pernicious postmodernists.
: The liberals fear the deeper Truths, for the subtle assaults the
: superficial, and the sober indicts the pornagraphic culture by which
: liberals derive their power.
: Ahoy! Liberals strip kids down for ads, sell us pornagraphic nihilism to
: erode our souls so we don't notice that feminist professors are destroying
: the peaks of culture, thus eradicating the Way by which one might climb up
: out of the postmodern fog. And the feminists destroy the peaks of higher
: culture, making it ever more difficult to climb out of the postmodern fog,
: so as to ensure that we remain numb to the fact that we have no
: alternative to the alternative, nihilistic crap which the corporate
: liberals erode our souls with. And the corporate liberals erode our souls
: with their substance-inspired fog so that we won't notice that the
: resentnik feminists are eradicating the peaks of our intellectual
: heritage. Ahoy! This generation is assaulted on all sides I say! Thus
: this generation enters into Holy Matrimony being told, Heads it shall
: prevail, and Tails it won't. 'Tis a conspiracy so immense, 'gainst eternal
: love! And thus Windy's Last Letter:
: Drake--
:
: I'm writing this letter to tell you that I can see you are looking
: for something I don't have. I know you gave a girl your sonnets (not
: because I was snooping but because I ran *so fast* up the hill & skipped
: dinner that I had free time so I decided to read Neitchez (spelling?) &
: instead I found that paper that made me so sad I cannot even describe it
: to you. I guess I'm just an all-or-nothing kind of girl & we had it all--
: I mean it was truly happy with you, but now it's time to end it all.
: There's still so much I want to say and do and talk about with you but it
: doesn't always work out (in fact it never really does) so I guess it's
: goodbye. I want you to know that I believe what we had was true love-- I
: don't think you could deny it although you may try (afterall, isn't that
: what we're supposed to do?) I also believe love is forever, so where does
: that leave me when you want someone else-- in the dumps that's where-- but
: enough about that-- I don't want you to feel bad or worry about me. I
: know you would because you're a nice guy. I just want you to remember
: happy times like in your words "the way we could play tennis for three
: hours, and how we played raquet ball one night, and then we played where's
: waldo, and how you came to Denver and woke me up a few times & how we went
: to Duke Gardens that one day-- the first time and you were wearing yellow
: shorts and a blue shirt, and how we tried rafting once this summer, and
: didn't get too far, and how you went over the waterfall on your own." Of
: course you said it so perfectly and what we shared was/is so vivid to me
: that I can't begin to look for anything else. All I can do is wait for the
: only one I'll ever love. The pain of loneliness is an indication of how
: close we are to the people we were last year. Every new person you're
: attracted to seems like the right one because there's potential for love
: and they exist as what you make of them and see in thembut we made it a
: long time and there's more to us and I can't imagine ever being happier
: with anyone else or ever loving anyone as much as you Drake. I love you
: so much and I'm sad because more than any memories I remember your words
: and your way and I can't explain to you why I love you so much but I'll
: still try. When I said, "you actually can love almost anyone-- it's the
: way we're made," I guess it was my justification for thinking I loved
: Jeff-- I mean you can have/make wonderful special memories with anyone and
: you can look forward to hearing voice or feeling anyone's touch-- it's not
: too hard to fill those shoes-- it is I believe honestly the way we're
: made. In saying that I was trying to make you understand that I
: appreciate something beyond that in you. Love's really about the person
: and how they make the world seem to you. And of course when I can feel
: you slipping away I convine myself you're cynical and rthat I don't need
: you but the truth is you're not and I do need you. I love you Drake.
: Please come back. I'm sorry, I know you don't owe me anything and please
: don't call unless you miss me so much you can't live without me. Quite
: frankly I can exist without you, but I just can't live without you. "I
: love you because you make the earth come alive for me, and you've got to
: believe me when I say I love you more than anyone else I've ever met,
: 'cause I've got no reason to lie." See, I can remember a poet's words when
: they speak to me the way yours did. I know some of your sonnets by
: heart-- did you ever know that?" did you ever know I cared so much that I
: did stupid things like join a sorrority in case you Drake, the most
: precious thing in the world were loosing interest. It's like your poems--
: they're so perfect and it's when it's all you have to go by the person
: seems perfect too, but you get to know them and they're not but you love
: them anyway because you know that they know what perfection is at least
: and they feel like you do. We just have these rotten conditions to
: survive in and how easy it is to prevail with just one human by your side
: who supports you and sees what's going on also. Love is so delicate
: because it's a constant battle with fear but we're young and we know just
: enough to want to fight the battle. Or maybe you're past the point. I
: don't want to make it a year or however long with someone-- develop a bond
: that can conquer fear-- that is true love-- only to give up at the
: beginning of the struggle and find someone new who I think I can find a
: stronger bond with-- that's not love-- it's fear plain and simple. Fear
: that love isn't enough because we're "young" fear that we could be missing
: out on someone or something better because we have a committment. I know
: it's wrong because I believed it at the beginning of the year and gave you
: up and now I know caring about a person and making it work is the most
: noble thing you can do on this Earth. I need to proove to myself that
: love is strongest in me and that this world can't get me down and so I
: will wait for you: Drake I'm only nineteen but the feelings I have are
: just as real and strong as I'll ever have so when I say I love you I know
: I'll love you when I'm forty, fifty and even when I'm not in this world
: anymore. Why give up? Will you find something better? Do you hope to?
: Do you hope to be happier than you were at the beach or even at home alone
: knowing someone loved you? Two hearts as one Drake-- we didn't even have
: to try. There was no fear. Now all I have is hope. I also have a very
: strong-will and idealistic view of love going for me so I'll never give up
: on you. Maybe all you'll ever feel for me is pity when you're 40 and
: maried and have a familyand read these words and know that I'm alone
: thinking of my youthful love and eternal hope that we will someday be
: together. Oh fooey. I'll probably be old and gray and living alone next
: door in secret and shuffling through your mail and spying on your family
: and I'll be so sad the rest of my life without you but I don't care
: because it's all so insignificant anyway and it's raining now and there
: are other things I love as much as you that keep me company like the rain
: and books (yes it's true) and like music. Drake whatever happens please
: be happy and smile a lot and show the world you're different and write
: beautiful paradoxes for men to ponder and ponder the paradox that you even
: wrote them. and think of me once in awhile and smile and wonder how I am
: and know I still love you Drake-- forever.
: --Windy
: To help us deliver Justice to the pernicious liberals, sign aboard The
: Jolly Roger by sending the message, join jollyroger , to
: jolly...@jollyroger.com.
: Or sign your soul aboard at http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
Serdar Yegulalp
You still haven't answered my questions.
With regard to my short story "The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura":
1) How is Dr. Goh a nihilist?
2) How is Shun-Min a nihilist?
More generally:
3) How am I a nihilist?
4) How have I advocated nihilism in "The Crabs of Dan-no-Ura"?
5) And while we're at it, could you offer me your notion of what you
consider a nilihist?
Is something as simple as this really beyond your ability?
I guess so.
____________________________________________________________________________
sye...@ix.netcom.com EFNet IRC: GinRei
http://www.io.com/~syegul another worldly device...
Cowardly Roger Flame Bait sold here
Drake Raft
There can be only one, and there is:
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Serdar Yegulalp (sye...@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
: On 13 Nov 1996 19:51:33 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
: >Dude-- THE JOLLY ROGER http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
: Elliot -- http://www.io.com/~syegul.
: Two can play.
: ____________________________________________________________________________
: sye...@ix.netcom.com EFNet IRC: GinRei
: http://www.io.com/~syegul another worldly device...
: ____________________________________________________________________________
Matuse
In article <328b1b4...@nntp.netcruiser> sye...@ix.netcom.com (Serdar Yegulalp) writes:
>
>You watch HIGHLANDER much, Elliot?
Such an excellent movie to spawn such a hideous show. Especially bearing
in mind that pretty much all the main characters will end up dead.
--
"I accept"
"To accept is to yield"
"To yield is to allow oncoming traffic the right of way"
Matuse
In article <56fjlq$8...@newz.oit.unc.edu> dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) writes:
>netcruiser> Distribution: <56d8s5$7...@newz.oit.unc.edu> <328c5768...@nntp.netcruiser> <56e2t2$f...@newz.oit.unc.edu> <328b1b4...@nntp.netcruiser>
>Distribution:
>X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
>
>Dude-- this is Drake here. Get with it. You and Scalzi have gotten so
>damn boring in your throughough, undeniable defeat. I have a feeling you
>guys are going to grow old hating our Greatness.
Hey drake there, would you care to explain why elliot has suddenly
dropped off the airwaves, and his email account vanished into the aether?
No, I don't suppose you would.
>ARGRHRHRGR! A beautiful weekend it was in Chapel Hill! Even though it's
>raining right now, but hey-- the rain's cool too. Last night was the
>perfect June night for a ride through the Carolina countryside with the
>top down.
Hey elliot, come close, and i'll share with you a secret:
I T I S N O V E M B E R N O W
Dave Scocca
In article <matuseE0...@netcom.com>, Matuse <mat...@netcom.com> wrote:
\ >Dude-- this is Drake here. Get with it. You and Scalzi have gotten so
\ >damn boring in your throughough, undeniable defeat. I have a feeling you
\ >guys are going to grow old hating our Greatness.
\
\ Hey drake there, would you care to explain why elliot has suddenly
\ dropped off the airwaves, and his email account vanished into the aether?
\ No, I don't suppose you would.
Not only that, but "drake-" showed up at exactly the time "emcgucke"
vanished. Not only that, but at that time the university was
migrating to a new email system, and offering folks the opportunity to
change userids during the move. (Generally, userids cannot be
changed.)
Mail to "emcgucke" still gets through of course--enough people changed
userids that some forwarding system was necessary. Most of them were
changing from silly names to more reasonable ones: trust Elliot to
swim upstream.
Drake Raft
Dude-- like you are such a total supersleuth. You ought to be in movies.
Let me know if this is cool. I've got a couple connections. Hollywood
likes me 'cause they know I don't take any crap, and New York is startin'
to catch on too.
THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
THE JOLLY ROGER-- To be featured in the upcoming AMAZING WEB PAGES.
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
THE JOLLY ROGER-- AS REVIEWED BY THE GLOBAL ONLINE DIRECTORY
The Jolly Roger
Go here. Do not pass go. Whatever your tastes or politics, it's
tough not to enjoy this smart-alecky, skillfully written and
provocative online magazine. Literary, generational and plain-old
politics take it on the chin from this threesome.
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Dave Scocca (sco...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu) wrote:
: In article <matuseE0...@netcom.com>, Matuse <mat...@netcom.com> wrote:
: \ >Dude-- this is Drake here. Get with it. You and Scalzi have gotten so
: \ >damn boring in your throughough, undeniable defeat. I have a feeling you
: \ >guys are going to grow old hating our Greatness.
: \
: \ Hey drake there, would you care to explain why elliot has suddenly
Drake Raft
Avast! THE JOLLY ROGER: ENTERTAINING THE WORLD WITH GREAT LITERATURE FOR
OVER 13 MONTHS!
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Patrick Farley (pat...@organic.com) wrote:
: Elliot "the Blob" McGucken typed:
: >
: > Dude-- we're rocking the world with thought, and just because you've spent
: > two years hating us doesn't mean we're going to turn our back on this
: > generation and all generations to come.
Dave Scocca
In article <56ikr6$s...@newz.oit.unc.edu>,
Drake Raft <dra...@email.unc.edu> wrote:
\ Avast! THE JOLLY ROGER: ENTERTAINING THE WORLD WITH GREAT LITERATURE FOR
\ OVER 13 MONTHS!
Does anyone actually know if Elliot knows what "avast" means?
Avast, Elliot!
Avast, Jolly Roger!
AVAST!
D.
[From American Heritage Dictionary, Second College Edition:
avast (interj. Naut.) Used as a command to stop or desist.]
Dave Scocca
\ Avast! THE JOLLY ROGER: ENTERTAINING THE WORLD WITH GREAT LITERATURE FOR
\ OVER 13 MONTHS!
Avast, Jolly Roger!
You know, once you know the actual meaning of the word "avast", it
becomes more interesting in this context.
Avast, Elliot!
D.
Jason Kodish
In article <56fsmq$3...@newz.oit.unc.edu> dra...@email.unc.edu writes:
>
>You can do what you want, but like just don't get in the way of me
>Frigate nor the Laws of the United States of America.
>
Avaste matey, eye've a got yer frigate in me gunsights and am set te
volley ye with Liberal torpedoes!
Surrender er eye board ye, take ye women and children and sail off into
the great litterary sunset to the jelly rogger's burning corpse!
Reb-beard is here matey!
Cower in ye boots!
--
Jason Kodish
Thirring Institute for Applied Gravitational Research
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/1659
-----------------------------------------------------
"Change everything. Change it all at once, right down to the dog
licenses. Don't give the citizens a chance to get their bearings. When
I see problems happening, I tell them, 'It's because you haven't
changed the dog licenses.'" -Roger Douglas
Jason Kodish
In article <56fjlq$8...@newz.oit.unc.edu> dra...@email.unc.edu writes:
>
>netcruiser> Distribution: <56d8s5$7...@newz.oit.unc.edu>> <328c5768...@nntp.netcruiser> <56e2t2$f...@newz.oit.unc.edu>> <328b1b4...@nntp.netcruiser>
>Distribution:
>X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
>
>Dude-- this is Drake here. Get with it. You and Scalzi have gotten so
>damn boring in your throughough, undeniable defeat. I have a feeling you
>guys are going to grow old hating our Greatness.
Avaste Ye land lubbing deck swabbing misencrant!
Prepare Ye to match swords with a real pirate!
We bring our torpedoes to yer jelly roller and will send 'er to a
watery grave!
Drake Raft
THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
THE JOLLY ROGER-- To be featured in the upcoming AMAZING WEB PAGES.
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
I think it's time to start seeing some cool literature which demonstartes
that this generation consists of free and independent people.
I think it's time for us to start standing up to the boomer-inflicted
"slacker-grunge-generation-x" postmodern nihilism.
I think it's time to start penning novels with plots and moral characters.
I think it's time for y'all to read The Drake Raft Field Trip. It'll
blow your mind or something:
THE DRAKE RAFT FIELD TRIP: PLOT SUMMARY
http://jollyroger.com/drft.html
On a late spring day in Chapel Hill, two teenagers, Cliff and Timber, hop
a freight train bound for Princeton so as to investigate the suspicious
suicide of Cliff's older brother, Drake Raft, and unearth the treasure he
had buried out in the Princeton woods. In addition to solving the mystery
surrounding Drake's alleged death, Cliff wants to get his hands on some
money so that he can set up a WWW server in his basement. Bored to death
with his band and the Chapel Hill grunge scene, and dismayed with all the
"neon-slacker-generation-x" books, Cliff feels it's time to start a
literary revolution.
At Princeton their investigation introduces them to the feminist
chairperson of the English department, Professor Sycorax. They discover
that she had murdered the former chair of the department, Uncle Walt, and
had made it look like he had killed himself.
Uncle Walt had been Drake's mentor, and with his death, Drake was cast
into a deep depression. Sensing that foul play was involved, Drake broke
into Professor Sycorax's home and found a manuscript which contained her
confession of Uncle Walt's murder. Ryan, the student who was having an
affair with Sycorax so as to get into the Harvard MFA program, found Drake
reading the manuscript. Ryan, made jealous by the fact that Drake had been
seeing Windy, a girl he himself had been pursuing, took the opportunity to
fire shots at the intruder. Drake escaped, dropping the confession.
Fearing for his life with the well-connected, ruthless Sycorax and the
Princeton bureaucracy after him, Drake feigned suicide and took to living
in the Princeton woods while plotting to avenge Uncle Walt's death. He
buried his book of sonnets, THE AFTER DARK FIELD BOOK, and he sent the
treasure map to Cliff.
On the way to digging up Drake's treasure in the Princeton Woods, Timber
and Cliff happen upon Ryan while he is burying Sycorax's confession
manuscript. They obtain it. Later on, while they are unearthing Drake's
Sonnets, Ryan apprehends them at gun point. Believing that Drake's sonnets
are Sycorax's murder confession, Ryan seizes them.
While investigating the mysterious suicides during their weekend stay at
Princeton, Cliff and Timber organize a Montana Freedom Rock Concert to
raise funds for their WWW server; they infiltrate Princeton's oldest
secret society, The Princetonians After Dark; and they found one of their
own, The Jolly Rogers. They declare war upon the Princetonians After Dark
so as to lend their society a noble cause, thus ensuring that they can
charge all the unsuspecting inductees exorbitant membership fees.
Cliff and Timber learn that Sycorax is planning on publishing Drake's
sonnets under her own name. The novel culminates with a secret society
show-down during which a fencing match between Drake (Princetonians of
Darkness) and Ryan (The Jolly Rogers) is arranged. It is agreed that if
Drake wins, he gets his sonnets back, and if Ryan wins, Sycorax reclaims
her confessional manuscript. Sycorax arranges for the tip of Ryan's foil
to be poisoned.
The novel is a salute to Shakespeare's HAMLET, and thus the ending
conforms to that of HAMLET, with Drake and Ryan both being poisoned by the
anointed foil. "Classics cannot stay closed upon the shelves," Drake says
as he finally avenges Uncle Walt by slaying Sycorax before being overcome
by the poison, "They shall forever re-enact themselves."
Cliff and Timber return to Chapel Hill with enough money to start a WWW
server, and on it they publish Drake's sonnets.
http://jollyroger.com/drft.html
Dave Scocca (sco...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu) wrote:
: In article <56ikr6$s...@newz.oit.unc.edu>,
Drake Raft
THE ROAD TO SERFDOM rocks.
And so do we.
THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
HATTERAS
by Drake Raft
I spent a year upon the stormy seas,
Going after what they said wasn't there,
Time after time it brought me to my knees,
And I would say this simple sailor's prayer.
I believe in Truth, I believe in Light,
I believe I was born to serve the Lord,
I will do no wrong, and I will do right,
And my simple sermon was not ignored.
For I say I have glimpsed a virgin land,
Have faith me maties, when yer feeling weak,
We're settling Hatteras, come lend a hand,
Know ye that ye become that which ye seek.
Ahoy! I'm looking for a few good men,
Loyal to the Truth, wicked with a pen.
A LITERARY BEACON
by Joshua P. Hochschild
The beginning and end of writing is an activity of the soul; that is, discourse is generated by and in
turn only appreciated by the individual who is intelligent and free. Most of my friends who write, write
only for those few free and intelligent souls that they know: themselves, and their friends. They
hesitate to write for a larger audience because they cannot trust that any larger audience will share
enough of the common experience or education necessary for words to achieve their intended effect.
Without a common context, they and I fear, all the mechanisms by which language can influence the
soul are rendered impotent; metaphors fail to strike home, allusions bear only false witness, and
potential oracles remain as lifeless and offensive as mere chicken innards.
In our world of "universal education," citizens are nearly universally uneducated, and any potential
Audience, to paraphrase Hamman and Nietzsche, is "the nobody whom everybody knows," that
ubiquitous Public which, through lack of wisdom, lack of taste, and lack of will, almost ceases to exist
altogether; I say almost because, as those of us who have dared address the Public know, it still
possesses just enough energy to call us names, to steal our literature, and to leave death-threats on
our answering machines.
The faceless Public is Liberalism; for no man, so long as he still has a mind and a soul, can deny
without contradiction that he intends the Truth with his words and seeks the Right with his actions. It
is only when his thinking is clouded with inhuman Theories, when his spirit is distracted by selfish
Ideologies, when his appetite is falsely stimulated by the temptation of the Agenda -- only, that is
to say, when he loses his soul -- that his freedom and intelligence can fade away and his voice can
join the mindless droning of the Public.
Now in this day, we can fairly expect all good writing to be as hard to read for any general audience
as good proverbs and aphorisms have always been to the most sophisticated thinkers: its truth will
be enigmatic, but because of the reader's limitations, not the writer's. Always, however, the truth
will be available. And this is why we write, and why we are willing to direct our ideas toward an
unfamiliar and often reluctant Public.
Of course, ideas being what they are, they cannot be received without some effort on the part of the
receptor, and so we hold no delusions about our ability to get people to think without their help. But
we at Hatteras have reason to believe that there are more than a few intelligent and free individuals
out there we haven't yet met, and still more waiting to strive towards intelligence and freedom --
against the best efforts of those powerful interests that would prefer a population so mild and
manipulable as would have no allegiances but to the crude economic and political products that are
offered for the day's consumption. At Hatteras, our allegiance is to our friends, and our friends are
those who share our further allegiance to the Light which can penetrate the Fog and dissipate the
Darkness. We hope that by providing a reflection of the Light we may increase the Friends of Light,
that the Light may guide more souls, strengthen them, and reassure them that they are not alone.
The Editors--
Joshua P. Hochschild & Elliot McGucken, 1996
Dave Scocca (sco...@gibbs.oit.unc.edu) wrote:
: In article <56ikr6$s...@newz.oit.unc.edu>,
: Drake Raft <dra...@email.unc.edu> wrote:
: \ Avast! THE JOLLY ROGER: ENTERTAINING THE WORLD WITH GREAT LITERATURE FOR
: \ OVER 13 MONTHS!
: Does anyone actually know if Elliot knows what "avast" means?
: Avast, Elliot!
: Avast, Jolly Roger!
: AVAST!
: D.
: [From American Heritage Dictionary, Second College Edition:
: avast (interj. Naut.) Used as a command to stop or desist.]
: --
Matuse
In article <56koan$f...@newz.oit.unc.edu> dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) writes:
> THE ROAD TO SERFDOM rocks.
Word #129486 out of #129486 in the english language that elliot does not
know the meaning of: Serf.
If you want to go and be a serf elliot, then use your self-proclaimed
knowledge of physics, invent a time machine, and go live in the 10th century.
We'll throw you a going-away party.
Koro
On 16 Nov 1996 15:58:15 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
> THE ROAD TO SERFDOM rocks.
> And so do we.
> THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
> THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
> http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
If, by conservative, you mean Libertarian (your message seems to be
liberty bassed, from what I gather), you've already been beaten to the
punch. And by nearly 15 years. Cult of the Dead Cow Communications
has been unleashing their anti-statist anti-religious and
anti-establishment sentiment upon the defenseless masses for quite a
while. It seems "The conservative literary revolution" has already
passed you by. ;-)
KORO
Drake Raft
It's only been about a year since the jollyroger.com website went up, and
like after an initial barrage of liberal lies launched by scalzi and
serdar, the young liberals have settled down and accepted the Reality that
this generation Will have Great Literature, even if it makes young,
uncreative liberal editors jealous. No longer will the Critic be
deemed superior to the Creator as has been done in the socialized
universities! Avast! Upon the immaculate deck of the Good Ship, honesty,
chivalry, good-cheer, and the Truth rule. Thus liberals are banned by all
means! Avast! But they can stow away and take notes, if they want.
Howard Roark was seen reading alt.culture.jollyroger
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
SPREADING THE WESTERN PRINCIPLES OF GOD AND FREEDOM ABOUT THE WATERY GLOBE.
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com to sign aboard.
Check out our new Jolly Roger public relations czar, Cathy from Germany.
http://jollyroger.com/supermodel.html
Here's a minute sampling of the fine, hard-working people who enjoy being
exalted by our Great Literature. We understand that it is John Scalazi's
and Ron Hogan's fantasy that we should stop serving them with Greatness so
that the insipidness of their liberal-pseudo-intellectual-hand-waving-
marketing or something-barbara-stresiand jobs won't be so apparent.
But like while the rest of this postmodern world's losing its sense of
Loayalty, Morality, and othe forms of Private Property, we're gonna keep
our Oak Keel upon its immutable course, and continue serving our over
10,000 wondrous fans. And just think about how huge we'd be now if the
liberal press had given us the accolades that we deserve. Actually that
might have hurt us-- people'd think we were just another Douglas Coupland
"slacker-submit-to-boomer's-idea-that this generation-sucks
and-will-buy-anything-neon with pictures."
Date: Wed, 24 Jul 1996 09:56:38 -0400
From: ---------@wow.com>
To: "bec...@jollyroger.com bec...@jollyroger.com" <BEC...@JOLLYROGER.COM>
Subject: Reply to: www.jollyroger.com LIVE VIA REAL AUDIO ON THE ALAN
HANDELMAN ROCK TALK SHOW
Thanks for message with synopsis of "field trip". I finished reading it.
Very good. I was interested in how the plot unfolded, and wound round and
round. Would love to do a word count on number of times "like" was used ,
ho, ho. Regards,
Katie
THE DRAKE RAFT FIELD TRIP: http://jollyroger.com/drft.html
Date: Tue, 23 Jul 1996 14:35:15 -0700
From: --------@.mindspring.com
To: bec...@jollyroger.com
Subject: why just read?!!!!
Friends,
First, let me tell ya that I think what your doing is great!!
There has to be a point where someone says, what in the hell are flannel
shirts all about. A way to keep warm in the cold winter, yes, but a
lifestyle??!! It has gotten to a point where the world is converging
into monotany and the worst part is, most are accepting this. Why do you
think this is?
We beleive that these people are misdirected by no fault of their
own (well, kinda). The only things they know are MTV and Must See Tv.
With this, it is understandable why the intellectual few may
strive for depth by immursing themselves in real literature to escape
from the downfall of the norm.
ARGRHRRGGRHRR! These messages are like from people who have friends in
other places than the USENET, so like that's kinda cool.
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
THE LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE ON THE WWW
Matuse (mat...@netcom.com) wrote:
: In article <56koan$f...@newz.oit.unc.edu> dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) writes:
: > THE ROAD TO SERFDOM rocks.
: Word #129486 out of #129486 in the english language that elliot does not
Drake Raft
UNITING CONSERVATIVES IN GREAT CONTEMPORARY LITERATURE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Argrhgrhr! These posts are not to be disputed! So like cut it out,
y'all unimaginative liberals who are confusing corporate
editorial/marketing jobs at AOL with Great Literature.
A record number of people signed aboard The Roger this weekend-- like over
fifty. And this is our off season dudes. Just wait 'til school starts
and all the Great-Culture-starved students are back infront of their
computers typing their papers for their feminist theory courses! The
sight of the skull'n bones shall come as a vast relief say I! Argrhgrhr!
Ahoy there! Somebody just signed aboard this second!
THE WORLD'S LARGEST LITERARY FRIGATE
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com
THE UNSTOPPABLE, IMMUTABLE GOOD SHIP
THE JOLLY ROGER
Howard Roark was seen reading alt.culture.jollyroger
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
SPREADING THE WESTERN PRINCIPLES OF GOD AND FREEDOM ABOUT THE WATERY GLOBE.
Send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com to sign aboard.
Check out our new Jolly Roger public relations czar, Cathy from Germany.
http://jollyroger.com/supermodel.html
ARGRHRGHRRHG! We're Wired's best kept secret because Ron Garon hates us.
But like hating the Truth is a bad move for any young editor in this world
which is yearning for It to Rise Again. Avast! Yer postmodern ship is
sinking!
THE LARGEST, MOST TALKED-ABOUT, MOST READ LITERARY FRIGATE ON THE WWW
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Writing new books in the sublime context of the Western Canon.
To sign yer soul aboard, send join jollyroger to jolly...@jollyroger.com !
Ahoy! 'Tis a gallant breeze blowin' from aft upon this immaculate
June afternoon. So rig ye the sails there Captain Blood and Billy Rones,
and let's be on our merry way! There's peril before us, but 'tis nothing
new for those who seek to signify something profound. All adventure comes
with peril, but it is this peril which guards the greatest treasures. For
it keeps the aging elite at bay, and preserves the freedom of the open
ocean!
Avast then! We shall venture forth and find anew all that the
academic and editorial elite have pillaged, plundered, desecrated, burned
and buried! But then there shall be even greater perils when returning
home with our holds filled with treasures. For while the tumultuous
ocean is at heart indifferent, the contemporary liberal bureaucrat is
governed by malicious tendencies. For know ye that the modern liberal
academic believes not in the Truth, and thus their life is dedicated to
eradicating its existence, so that Reality might match their soul. While
the true scientist and artist seeks to match their soul and their divine
work to Reality, the uncreative socialist and feminist writer seeks to
subjugate Nature to their will.
Check out the rest of this cool article at
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jr25.html
Koro (ksa...@best.com) wrote:
: On 16 Nov 1996 15:58:15 GMT, dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
: > THE ROAD TO SERFDOM rocks.
: > And so do we.
: > THE CONSERVATIVE LITERARY REVOLUTION.
: > THE WORLD'S LARGEST, MOST-FEARED LITERARY FRIGATE
: > http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
: If, by conservative, you mean Libertarian (your message seems to be
Ron Hogan
dra...@email.unc.edu (Drake Raft) wrote:
> We understand that it is John Scalazi's
> and Ron Hogan's fantasy that we should stop serving them with Greatness so
> that the insipidness of their liberal-pseudo-intellectual-hand-waving-
> marketing or something-barbara-stresiand jobs won't be so apparent.
Actually, I haven't been doing the pseudo-intellectual handwaving
marketing job for over a month now, Elliot. Lately, I've been spending
my time reading books by queer people and then talking to them. The
queer people, that is, not the books. You don't talk to books, unless
you want people to stare at you. And I do want people to stare at me,
just not for reading books.
I got to meet Candace Gingrich, too. It was really neat. (BTW, you can
see my stuff about queer people at http://www.planetout.com/kiosk/shout/
if you're so inclined; it's not archived fully yet, but watch!)
Ron Hogan Freelance Writer and Media Consultant
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Grifter Information Technologies San Francisco, California
*********************************************************************
gri...@primenet.com http://www.primenet.com/~grifter/home.html
Drake Raft
THE JOLLY ROGER
http://jollyroger.com/beaconway/jollyroger.html
Avast! For those of you who missed our RealAudio show, I had a pretty
cool chat with Patrick Farley, and I'm glad he called in to Allan and I.
There was a problem with the phone lines, so like many people might've
gotten a busy signal while trying to call in. Like Patrick and I were
able to have a cool conversation about how we're both concerned about the
direction of the educational and cultural institutions of this country.
While I view it in a liberal vs. conservative context, Mr. Farley prefers
to view in a context where those two labels are absent. I get the feeling
that many of you out there think that my politicization of literature only
serves to mirror what the liberals have done with literature. But I
contend that there is an assymmetry as flagrant as the difference between
nihilism and Shakespeare.
Allan Bloom said that literature whould never be taught with a moral or
political objective in mind, but I disagree with him. I disgree with him
because literature is never written without a moral or political objective
in mind. All Great Literature is the Author's effort speak the Truth, and
thus in creating the Artist is possessed with the ultimate moral
imperative.
I'm a writer who believes in ideals that I found to be reviled, belittled
and slandered by certain famous professors I had at Princeton. I believe
that the Truth exists, and that it can be obtained via physics and
literature. I believe that there is a God who created us and gave us our
inalienable rights. I believe that an individual's Natural State is that
of Freedom. I believe that the two-parent family is the ideal institution
for raising children. I believe that words mean things, and that
artistic, cultural and literary decadence have an adverse effect on
society. I believe that moral works of literature are beneficial for
society, and should be given to our children in the schools which we pay
for with our tax dollars. I believe that an absolute morality exists, and
that it is embodied in the ten commandments. I believe that Thomas
Jefferson made a good point when he said, "If man cannot be trusted to
govern himself, can he be trusted to govern others?" And thus I believe in
smaller government and more personal responsibility. I believe that
everyone can be taught to take care of themselves, and that they should
be. I believe in tomorrow and the vast opportunities that await this
unfairly-named "slacker/generation-x".
I contend that my beliefs in these Ideals and Absolutes make me a
conservative in this day and age.
And even though he wouldn't want to be described by the word conservative,
I think that Patrick harbors many of the same ideals I've listed above. I
don't understand his often vehement objections to the label, but I suspect
that our fundamental disagreements are rooted in the unmoored definitions
of words, while our hearts are anchored firmly by what we were born
knowing to be Right. I think that this mooring is coming into view for
many in our generation, as the postmodern fog continues to lift.
It's cool to think how man once existed without the Bible.
He wrote it because he needed it.
I think it's cool that this generation is going to have a literary
renaissance on the WWW, and I'm looking forward to continuing to serve
y'all with my exalting and entertaining posts.
I'll see y'all aboard THE ROGER.
All the best,
Red Avenger
Ron Hogan (gri...@primenet.com) wrote: