The Annotated Julia Allison: Monster Coc…er ‘my good friend’ edition
Shelton Bumgarner
average person in their early 20s, I was struck by the wording of the
following caption over at the blog of America’s Sweetheart ™.
with my good friend from college, Alexander Marquardt, now an
unbelievably talented anchor on Channel One.
The wording leads me to believe one of two things. Either olde
Alexander banged Julia every which way, leaving both of them so
overstimulated that they could barely hold a cogent conversation the
next day…or… He’s really, really gay.
“my good friend from college”
Seems like she wants to say
“OMG, HE WAS INCREDIBLE! We were both drunk and my friend Manhattan —
the cutest girl (problem with pills, though) — told me that she had
hooked up with him a few nights before and it was IN-CRE-DI-BULE! So,
like, I starting thinking I wanted a piece of that action. So when he
started getting really intense about his childhood in Ecuador helping
the homeless, I let his hand creep up my leg. Then I we went into a
dark corner of the frat house and…well, you know. Then we decided to
follow it up back at his place. It was really intense. Too bad we
didn’t think to record it, it would have been like that Croatian girl
and that married guy! HOT HOT HOT!”
And yet…
there is the
“unbelievably talented anchor on Channel One”
means…
“Anderson Cooper helped him get his job.”