Re: Jesus, Savior of the Christian faith, will be appearing on the....

[Six String Stu]

"Latoya" <Lat...@example.com> wrote in message
news:jnut4510alk9j6a52...@4ax.com...
>
> Jesus, Savior of the Christian faith, will be appearing on the
> videophones of millions of Verizon Wireless customers this Friday at
> 9:00PM Eastern time. Christ has selected Verizon Wireless to
> communicate his message via the largest cellular network in North
> America because Verizon customers can "hear him now."
>
> In the first of a series of broadcasts Jesus will reiterate his message
> of loving God and loving each other. He will be revealing more truths
> to Verizon customers in the coming weeks, including one message to
> "avenge my death to those Jew bastards" which is certain to stir
> controversy in New York, Los Angeles, parts of southern Florida, and
> northern Ohio. According to industry insiders, the leader of the
> Christian faith will go on to say that "loving just a couple of your
> Protestant neighbors" will be sufficient to fulfill God's commands.
>
> Verizon officials acknowledge that they've signed an exclusive two year
> marketing deal with the Messiah in large part to combat the wildly
> popular iPhone by Apple. "Apples have a long history of mucking things
> up for religious followers, going back to the Garden of Eden. This is
> simply a way to give us a competitive advantage," sayeth Craig
> Bayerschmidt, Verizon Director of National Marketing, adding that "Jesus
> approached us first, not the other way around."
>
> The marketing deal, arguably the first of its kind, is almost certain to
> open the door for other religious figures to begin lending their names
> to corporate sponsors. Indeed, just hours after Verizon announced the
> Jesus deal, Tata Motors, the Indian automobile manufacturer, announced
> that Ganesh would be the new spokesperson for an upcoming 2010
> advertising campaign. Steve Lafferty, Ganesh's agent at CAA Los
> Angeles, could not be reached for comment.
> UPI New York
Your Bad!
Funny, in a sacrilegious way, but I wont be caught standing next to you when
bolts of lightening come from out of the sky and fry your rump on the
sidewalk. :)