Friends:

Just wanted to take a moment to thank Brian Scott for all of his hard work in
putting together the first annual "ASHCAN" herf. Basically, we spent a day at
the races at historic Saratoga Springs Race Track, and then enjoyed dinner at a
local microbrewery.

The weather was spectacular, the company was grand, the horses were fast (go,
Jersey Girl!) and the prizes were multitudinous. Of course, Herf Dog's running
documentation was just icing on the cake. (Mike-Don't forget--I need an 8 X 10
of the shot of the Future Ex-Mrs. Goldstone's "better side!")

It was a great time, and I'm already handicapping next year's races!

Thanks so much, Brian. It was a blast!
Marc Goldstone
Paramedic and Attorney Extraordinaire (Both. Really.  Just ask my mom!)
"I don't have to chase ambulances ... I get to ride in them!"

Let me add my thanks too, to Brian, Mike, and everyone else who worked
to make it happen.  Let's also thank the sponsors who sent humidors,
cutters, ashtrays and, of course, cigars; enough that everyone left
with more than they brought.  

---
Vegetarians please note: Cigars contain no meat.  

Dave Hitt
hitt...@bigfoot.spamblocker.com (Remove "spamblocker" to reply)

On 2 Aug 1998 20:32:41 GMT, mdg...@aol.com (MDG Esq) wrote:

 gEE I MISSED OUT ON A CRAWL ????  HOW WAS THE HORSE LAP DANCERS ?????

jOHN kING  = SEALGAIRE

I've been thinking about this, and it's not fair for one man to have *two*
ASHCAN-commemorative Rudy ashtrays.  I won the ASHCAN '98 ashtray in an
unrigged, impartial drawing -- my name was drawn by no less a celebrity than
our favorite Malt River Brewing Company waitperson, Allison the Cigar Vixen.
What can I say?  Allison is clearly mad about me.  Call her the future
ex-Mrs. Original Herfosaurus.

Shortly thereafter, Mike Perry (the Herf Dog) presented me with *another*
Rudy original, the "ashcan" (see below).  Therefore I will be conducting a
re-drawing for the ASHCAN '98 commemorative ashtray, probably at the
upcoming Matt Joslin Birthday Herf (tentatively 8/14/98).

Anyway, thanks to all for the kind words -- once we got the weather to
cooperate, I knew everything else (except that damn #5 horse) was going to
work out.  I just hope I don't have to ship the ASHCAN '98 ashtray to
Jersey -- it may be too heavy for UPS ;-).

Speaking of which, thanks to Marc and Adam Goldstone for making the long
drive from Jersey -- these guys make any herfing event special!

Thanks to everyone for getting lunch, securing the picnic area, and
generally taking care of a zillion details that could have fallen through
the cracks.

And thanks especially to our sponsors -- the businesses and fellow ASCers
who donated a pretty decent array of very nice prizes.  The only downside is
that Matt j won a really nice Xikar cigar cutter -- now we can't give him a
hard time about that cheesy Zino knock-off he's been using!

Highights of the day:

-- Adam "I've Never Been to the Racetrack" Goldstone picking winner after
winner -- and Marc "I've Never Been to the Racetrack Either" Goldstone
making winning bets on every one.

-- Karen Starke arriving with lunch (*excellent* subs from Bacca's Italian
Deli), then disappearing from view as the Hittman, the Herf Dog, and myself
converged on the food.  I think she heard the stampede of very large herfers
and ducked under the table just in time!

-- getting mooched within minutes of arriving at the track by a lady who
wanted to buy a cigar for her husband -- and having brought along a "mooch
bag" for just such an occurrence.  Of course, we gave her a couple cigars
(Tabantillas, I think), and she went away happy.

-- Matt j hanging out in his lawn chair, his El Rey de Florez threatening to
burn a hole in his Racing Form, as he and I debated Dosage numbers.  Instead
of which we shoulda just asked Adam what he was playing.

-- Me confidently playing exactas that finished first and third, second and
third, etc.  Also a great trifecta that finished second, third, and fourth
(I think Marc had the winner in that race).

-- Watching Mike Perry (the Herf Dog) attempt to be inconspicuous while
shooting pictures of the future ex-Mrs. AtO.  If you know Mike, you know
that he does many things well -- but "inconspicuous" ain't one of them.

-- the incredible "Ashcan" that Rudy Salazar made as a gift to me -- it's a
machined-aluminum can with a removable top that is an ashtray.  This thing
is truly a work of art!  Thanks, Rudy, and thanks to the Herf Dog for coming
up with such a wonderful idea.

-- And generally, spending a great day with a great bunch of friends.
Thanks, everyone.

BYS

P.S. We've got a year to plan ASHCAN '99 -- it'll still be a "pay as you go"
kind of thing, but we want to do more in the Saratoga area.  With any luck,
we'll have enough lead time to be able to get reservations and make plans to
have most of the event in and around Saratoga.

On 2 Aug 1998 20:32:41 GMT, mdg...@aol.com (MDG Esq) wrote:

I'll second Marc's shout-out to Brian.  The Original Herfosaurus hooked
everybody up big time, not only by organizing the crawl, but by coming up
with a great idea, following through with it, and soldiering on despite not
feeling 100% during the weekend.  I have a feeling that he DID feel ALOT
better after Allison the cigar vixen MYSTERIOUSLY drew HIS name in the
raffle for the Rudy Salazar "ASHCAN '98 Commemorative Ashtray"...

Enquiring minds want to know Brian, was the fix in?  HMMMMM?

The pics from the digital camera go up tonight, and there are a couple
shots which truly show off the Future Ex-Mrs. AtO's ummm, "assets"...I'm
getting the photos developed after work, so I'll get those scanned and up
(and 8x10s in the mail) tomorrow.  Will the pictures of the FEMAtO be put
in a place of honor in the Smoking Section of the Goldstone Taj Mahal
Boardwalk Casino and Arms Locker?
===============================================
If you can't run with the Big Dog,
stay on the porch with the Puppies.

ASHCAN '98 - A Ramos Free Zone
http://www.netheaven.com/~bluto/index.html
===============================================

Uhhh, it only got posted, like 15 or 20 times, starting 3 months ago.  Ya
coulda been there.  Actually you might have been; I think I got a picture
of you - hard to tell if it was you or a horse's ass.  

Hey Adam, is your hand twitching?  I want to get out of the splatter zone
of this guy.

I will apologize in advance if John was attempting to be funny.  If not,
then glad you DIDN'T make it,
===============================================
If you can't run with the Big Dog,
stay on the porch with the Puppies.

ASHCAN '98 - A Ramos Free Zone
http://www.netheaven.com/~bluto/index.html
===============================================

On 4 Aug 1998 00:42:48 GMT, bl...@nospam-netheaven.com (Mike Perry)
wrote:

SURE MIKE
  , I LIVE IN THE SOUTH NOW AND WE JUST DONT GET THEM MSG. AS FAST AS
YOU DO IN THE NORTH , AND YOU CAN TELL THE GUY WHO RAN THIS .BRIAN
SCOOOT , HE HAD BATTER NEVER COME TO SC , OR TO CALLAWASSIE OR ELSE,
DEATH BY ALLIGATORS, VERY SLOW,
JOHN KING  = SEALGAIRE

I got bit by one of your raggedy-ass Callawassie gators this spring -- it
took a couple steps, barfed, and died.

BYS, definitely an acquired taste

P.S. Please excuse my friend Mike Perry -- he's never met anyone with a
South Carolina Boston accent before. Actually, come to think of it, neither
had I.

Mike wrote

If on the other hand, it is intended as a threat/insult, which is how I am
interpreting your clever banter, then I'm once again going to ask Adam
Goldstone if I'm out of the splatter zone.  Not that I'd get any grey
matter on me anyway...

Mike, sticking up for BYS, who's a really cool guy, and wishing I could
smack Sealgaire with a steel chair.<

Mike,

Sealgaire/Sean/John King is truly a good guy. This entire thread is his attempt
at a joke, gone array.  He is a nice person with a "line of shit that won't
quit."  Just ask the girls at Delilahs Den.

As far as his computer comments, he is computer illiterate like me:-)  So, no
harm was meant.

Believe me when I tell you he didn't mean anything he wrote as an insult or
even a threat.

He likes Brian as much as you and I do.  Give him a chance.  I think you will
like "The King" almost as much as I do.

As far as the "splatter zone" is concerned.  No you are not in the zone,
because Sealgaire/Sean/John  is not and will never be in my sights.

All my best

Adam, just trying to clear the air of confusion.

Sealgaire is a Patriots fan so he must be a good guy.  

Matt j

To my supporters & Dsitractors,

I just love the Ramos free event in the bumpkin/pod lands. What is it your
lack of style!, a bunch of guys self gratifying themselves (DMA didn't
visit the coeds at Skimmer College). I am disappointed, while you were
hiking it in Saratoga many cigar dinners was held in Toronto (for the
dragon from NYC) in which I was gifted a Cuban ashtray by style filled
people. DMA, Mike cannot imagine living in NYC.

Once again do not think I in the least bit your corneal event was missed
(please come to cigar exp. in NYC in October). Please come into the
dragon's lair (Manhattan) and receive a dose of life, style etc. After all
Jerry Sniffled is another Ramos after the articles this week in which he
said all things start in NYC nowhere else (just think another Ramos in the
public eye) and talk about flaming hew.

Well thought I would drop a line prior to leaving Toronto to Vancouver
BBC/Portland OR. Please spare us you bumpkin/pod expressions of little
people & little town.

PS Hey Renegade why didn't you call me in Toronto. A lovely post card was
sent you way. I will be posting pictures of my style filled life on
alt.smokers.glamor in a couple of weeks.

Remember Ramos loves each and every one of you.
--
Esq, Flaming Dragon of the Queens Court
Achy 98
B.S Free ASC
To the Little Country People Known As The Bumpkins/Pods The Word Of Your
Almighty Is Upon Thy Ears, Prepare My Throne For Thy Mystical Presence. I
Will Bear Truth Onto Thy Eyes Of Style, Life And The Pursuit Of Finer
Things For This Is The Supreme Being Of Flame, Overseer Of Trolls, And
Poser Extravagant In Which No Iniquity Will
Be Forgiven.

Your Lord
Ramos

ASGDC <as...@aol.com> wrote in article
<1998080613160700.JAA07...@ladder03.news.aol.com>...

What the hell language is this guy communicating in?
Is my universal translator broken?

"corneal event"? Is that where a stripper pokes an eye out?

snip bla bla>

--
Mark
<<< I never let my schooling get in the way of my education>>>
    Mark Twain

Does not the flaming queen realize that out of the three NYRA racetracks the
one in Saratoga (main attraction of ASHCAN) is at the very top, far beyond the
two downstate tracks.
Saratoga is historically the August destination of those with style and means
that live in NYC.  This makes it clear that you have no knowledge of style and
elegance and that at best you are poser that needs to bring external things to
compensate for your lack of  genuine internal class.

Matt j riding dis-tractor

Mike,

Glad to see your back to posting.  I needed a good laugh and your
sottish and moronic twaddle was just the ticket.  You never fail to
amuse me.

Tim.

On 6 Aug 1998 14:34:07 GMT, "Michael Ramos"

On 6 Aug 1998 15:19:51 GMT, mattjos...@aol.com (MattJoslin) wrote:

Matt,

As I have said before, Mike has no knowledge of anything, let alone
cigars or style.  However, he does amuse me.

Tim.

PS:  get off dat-tractor.

Is this luser still alive? I guess my filters work real well! In that case:
hey ramouse...... bite this <>!!
<1998080615195100.LAA19...@ladder03.news.aol.com>...
|>From: "Mxxxxx Rxxxx
|
|
|
|>To my supporters & Dsitractors,
|>
|>I just love the Ramos free event in the bumpkin/pod lands.
|
|Does not the flaming queen realize that out of the three NYRA racetracks
the
|one in Saratoga (main attraction of ASHCAN) is at the very top, far beyond
the
|two downstate tracks.
|Saratoga is historically the August destination of those with style and
means
|that live in NYC.  This makes it clear that you have no knowledge of style
and
|elegance and that at best you are poser that needs to bring external things
to
|compensate for your lack of  genuine internal class.
|
|Matt j riding dis-tractor

Ramos wrote

From: "Michael Ramos" <flamertrollerpo...@worldnet.att.net>
Date: Thu, Aug 6, 1998 10:34 EDT
Message-id: <01bdc125$d7bd4ca0$a605440c@mramos.reidplastics.com>

To my supporters & Dsitractors,

I just love the Ramos free event in the bumpkin/pod lands. What is it your
lack of style!, a bunch of guys self gratifying themselves (DMA didn't
visit the coeds at Skimmer College). I am disappointed, while you were
hiking it in Saratoga many cigar dinners was held in Toronto (for the
dragon from NYC) in which I was gifted a Cuban ashtray by style filled
people. DMA, Mike cannot imagine living in NYC.

Once again do not think I in the least bit your corneal event was missed
(please come to cigar exp. in NYC in October). Please come into the
dragon's lair (Manhattan) and receive a dose of life, style etc. After all
Jerry Sniffled is another Ramos after the articles this week in which he
said all things start in NYC nowhere else (just think another Ramos in the
public eye) and talk about flaming hew.
<

Michael,

One correction please.  I am neither a bumpkin nor a pod,  I am from Joisey.

As for lack of style, you must be mistaken.  This ASHCAN crew has plenty of
style.  As opposed to the large amount of class you have.  That being all
"LOW."(class that is)

"Self Gratifying, " why yes.  I like to gratify myself whenever and however
posssible:-)  I know you expect others to do it for you, but I find it but a
dream that I will ever attain the "level of class" you demonstrate.  I am heart
broken and must deal with my "poor, undereducated, low finance, slum living"
self<g> .  Sorry.  Oh how I wish I was you, if there was only a god, I could be
you.  Then I would kill myself and put everybody out of your misery!!!!!!

Lastly, You show your true lack of cigar knowledge and industry insight by
inviting people to NYC for the "Cigar Expo."  Probably the worst cigar event
ever planned.  And most definitely the worst reason to go to NYC.  You and the
Cigar Expo deserve each other.  Two Posers in a Pod.

I remain

Adam of the Joisey Pod/Bumpkin Chapter

P.S.  Mike, how in the world can you claim any sort of style or class with all
those "jailhouse" tattoos on your body.  If you are so "upscale" and
"highclass" go and spend the  $1000 per square inch to get them removed.  Bye
Bye Pod Boy.

"Brian Y. Scott" <bysc...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:

Brain, if you're really thinking about marrying her, or anyone else,
you can save a lot of time by just finding a woman you hate and buying
her a house.  

Hey, make it a double!  My birthday is 8/17.  

---
Vegetarians please note: Cigars contain no meat.  

Dave Hitt
hitt...@bigfoot.spamblocker.com (Remove "spamblocker" to reply)

What school you went?   Grammar not be taught there?  

Boy, you said an eye full.  

Does he have a head cold?

Jerry is cool enough to know that all the cool people leave NYC in
August and head to Saratoga.  That is *the* center of coolness and
class in the eighth month of the year.  Sorry you're not cool or
classy enough to know this.  

Somehow, I doubt that Jerry would be pleased to find you're trying to
compare yourself to him.  Wattsa matta, don't you have any of your
*own* accomplishments to brag about?  

There's that there grammar you ain't got none of again.  Your momma
must be so proud.  

Next time, save up for a few more months and you can afford to send a
letter.  

---
Vegetarians please note: Cigars contain no meat.  

Dave Hitt
hitt...@bigfoot.spamblocker.com (Remove "spamblocker" to reply)

On 6 Aug 1998 14:34:07 GMT, "Michael Ramos"

We bumpkin/pods loved the Ramos Free event as well.  OH, that was SARCASM!
Sorry, I'm just a distractor I guess.

If I may be so bold as to ask: While the many cigar dinners "was held" in
Toronto, who was protecting the posing style of the flaming queens of the
Megatroplis?  Mike, Mike, Mike, you've been neglecting your duties...

Does the corneal event cause all of your poor grammar, or is that coming
from the Middle Manager with a big travel account Handbook and style
manual?  And does Jerry Sniffled know about the excellent over the counter
cold and allergy remedies available?  I'm sure someone of your excellent
posing and stylism could help him get rid of that horrible runny nose.

Mike, one thing I am NOT is a little person.  Believe me, NO ONE has ever
accused me of being little.  I think the only thing bigger than me at the
track was The Bud Clydesdales.  And while Saratoga is NOT "The
Megatropolis" I wonder why it is that so many people of style and substance
spend the summer here, attending the Track, NYC Ballet performances,
concerts by the Philadelphia Philharmonic, and the like.  If they are all
here to spread the lifestyle among the bumpkins and pods, where is their
flaming lord, the master of all that is stylish and poserly?  I guess not
having clients in this area so as not to be able to sponge off the company
expense account for your entertainment would curtail that sort of thing,
huh?  So solly.

Maybe next year you can come up to Saratoga for a visit, that is if you do
enough business to earn that bonus, rather than having your travel account
eat up your entire profit margin.

And the HerfDog loves you too, baby.  It's really great to have a flaming
poser to show me the path to enlightenment.  Thank you.
===============================================
If you can't run with the Big Dog,
stay on the porch with the Puppies.

ASHCAN '98 - A Ramos Free Zone
ASHCAN '99 - A Ramos Free Zone Again
http://www.netheaven.com/~bluto/index.html
===============================================

On 6 Aug 1998 15:19:51 GMT, mattjos...@aol.com (MattJoslin) wrote:

Oh, Matt, you have to be gentle with Ramos these days.  He's probably hurt
and upset that we didn't send a chauffeured limo so that he could attend
ASHCAN in the style to which he is accustomed.  After all we are mere
bumpkins who could do nothing but suffer through a corneal event because
Mike couldn't attend.

I think we ought to raffle off the ASHCAN '98 Commemorative Ashtray to
raise money so that we poor pods can bring Ramos to spread the lifestyle of
grace and posing to our poor wasteland.

Besides, how dare you attempt to refute him with logic and facts?  HE IS
THE RAMOS!
===============================================
If you can't run with the Big Dog,
stay on the porch with the Puppies.

ASHCAN '98 - A Ramos Free Zone
ASHCAN '99 - A Ramos Free Zone Again
http://www.netheaven.com/~bluto/index.html
===============================================

The only tractor Matt was riding was the one grooming the track...
===============================================
If you can't run with the Big Dog,
stay on the porch with the Puppies.

ASHCAN '98 - A Ramos Free Zone
ASHCAN '99 - A Ramos Free Zone Again
http://www.netheaven.com/~bluto/index.html
===============================================

On 6 Aug 1998 14:34:07 GMT, "Michael Ramos"

Hey Mikey!

        Glad to see you didn't drop off the face of the earth.  God
knows in NYC anything can happen.  LOL!   Just remember - both Word
and Word Perfect have grammar and spell check function......

Rick
--
Richard Wicker
Fredericksburg,  VA
rwic...@1bigred.com

After seeing Palma and the absolutely *HUGE* BCM dance club in Magaluf, I'm
even more convinced that NYC is where style goes to die.

--

Brian R Pack                     (remove nospam. to reply)
909 Orlando St.
Morgantown, WV 26505
http://www.labs.net/bpack/arsenal/
Montani               Semper               Liberi
ARSENAL 1997-98 DOUBLE CHAMPIONS