HOUR OF SLACK #555 plus NEWS
Rev. Ivan Stang
Dallas is about to be hit by the Mother of All Ice Storms (I HOPE!!). This
may be my last communication for a while. (I HOPE!!)
FIRST: NEWS.
WELCOME TO MY SOFTMARE
A hell of a lot of SubGenius artists are on a "tear." I am getting from 5
to 30 pieces of art a day by email. Most of it's GREAT. How to deal with
the DISPLAYING of all this material is a challenge I'd never expected to
face. Rev. Morvus Thenu is helping with the fancifying of the html on
SubSITE but... we're about to need an "art department"!! I sent some
samples of what Sterno and I have been up to to alt.binaries.slack. I'll
be interested to know if the QTVR files worked for ya'll.
HATE MAIL
During the last 2 months we've been getting more and more "love mail" from
Christians who want to kill us. It's all email and it's all due to
SubSITE. This almost NEVER HAPPENED during the snailmail days of the
Church. It seems to me the best proof ever that "moving to the Internet"
was a WISE MOVE for the Board of Directors.
JESUS NEEDS SOFTWARE
It is surely a sign of the end times that when Rev. Ivan Stang begs, he
receives, yet when Jesus Christ begs, he is IGNORED. Jesus has posted to
alt.slack his crying need for certain basic key programs that he needs to
operate The New SubGenius Foundation Products Division from his Windows
3.1.1.1 PC. He's not asking for bootlegged, pirated software; that would
be illegal. The little Lord Jesus asks only for DONATED EXTRAs you might
have of well-gotten gains (with registration numbers). And yet His pleas
have gone unanswered.
JESUS (sl...@metronet.com) NEEDS:
EUDORA PRO (for Windows 3.11)
ANY news reader!!!
(Currently has Trumpetel software)
QUICKBOOKS 2.1 DOS
IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?? His involvement is ONLY the only thing that kept
me from shutting down the Foundation in despair last February. His office
is ONLY the only interface between the Church HQ and the Conspiracy, AND
ALL SUBGENII, now that I have been FREED to build little ants in Bryce.
How come, I, on that hated minority platform the Macintosh, have been able
to gather THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS worth of advanced 3D graphics animation
programs, NOT TO MENTION a vast number of hacked SubGenius-specific games
and dingleberries and screensavers, all of which are available at SubSITE,
while ALL PC USING SUBGENII are left PRACTICALLY BEREFT by comparison???
(Although there should be some PC versions of Noah Stewart's Mac
dingleberries at SubSITE's FUNHOUSE any day now.)
So you PC snobs -- HELP OUT A FELLOW PC SNOB! Help out the CHURCH! Sure...
Jesus Christ is the "new guy" around the hierarchy. But He's the ONLY ONE
who ANSWERS THE FUCKING MAIL!!! Sure his spelling is terrible. BUT HE HAS
POWER OF ATTORNEY!!! Sure he occasionally forgets the exact time of
X-Day. BUT HE DOUBLED OUR SALES! All us alt.slackers can razz on and on
all day about our Hate and be all artistic, but JESUS is the one who's
HOLDING THE CORE SHIT TOGETHER!! Which is exactly WHY He doesn't have time
to be all charming and sweet on IRC night or alt.slack. He's HOLDING DOWN
THE DAMN FORT!!
So OFFER your every programmic donation to:
What the Lord has to spend on software comes out of MY POCKET!! (WHEW --
THAT'S a sentence I never would've dreamed I'd type.) And MY POCKET is
where... well you don't even want to KNOW what's trying to push its way
out of my pocket, BELIEVE ME!!
ESPECIALLY QUICKBOOKS!!
HOUR OF SLACK #555
I was too busy building ants to sleep Friday night, so it wasn't until
Saturday afternoon that I remembered there was supposed to be a new RADIO
SHOW! Luckily I had been dubbing old shows for a customer and heard a
particularly deranged Side One squeak out of the headphones across the
room... old HoS #394. It had some GREAT "media barrage" edits of clipsound
by St. Joe Riley and others, and there was a rant by me that I DIDN'T
RECALL DOING AT ALL that was unusually hateful and heartfelt. So I let
Side One be a RERUN. Side 2 is all new stuff.
SIDE ONE (from HoS 394)
KILLER Joe Riley audio collage/ Francis E. Dec
KPFA Show "SubGenius store" sequence
"Potty Time" song from children's housebreaking record
Rev. Ott's media barrage... amazing Xian preacher clips
KPFA Dr. Howll "Beginning of the Universe"
More very good MB
Stang: "MAGGOT" rant (from roadrant to Palmer)... REALLY fried
John Bartles song: "THE HILL WHERE THEY HIDE ALL THE MONEY" (anti-con anthem)
Stang EASTER ISLAND rant (from old Revelation X notes, Philo)
SIDE TWO
Stang explains rerun vs. new stuff, credits
ESO RADIO from WCSB Cleveland 10-25-96, Einstein's Secret Orchestra,
Stang, Lonesome Cowboy Dave. Chas Smith, Princess Wei:
"Hound Dog" Elvis/ESO version, Dave & Stang do short-lived rule-less game
show, discuss the Texas State Fair and the freak show denizens of the
past, spout on Yeti Women, alt.binaries.hirsute-women.crucifixion.photos;
Stang quizzes Dave re his Burning Stones and his bowels, spout on Whupping
It or Going Down, "Everybody is a loser compared to Dobbs," Perot
routines, Dave sings song, "I'm Not Your Father Confessor"; Dave tries to
get Princess Wei to confess; Chas plays sleazy Peter Gunn type music while
Dave and Princess Wei do bulldada routine re: Baby Heads
Song "PAIN" by PINKO PUNKO
KPFA "Desert Scene" with Stang overdub from HoS Intro Collection tape
ESO "Baby Heads" brief cut, Wei & Dave
Stang does PO box, credits
ESO continued: Bobbie type calls the station and rudely expects Stang to
make himself available to all fans while he's in Cleveland. Stang berates
the Bobbie for not kissing the asses of Dave, Chas and Wei as well (while
actually announcing exactly where the after-show party will be: the WCSB
parking lot at Case Western). Detailed discussion of the parking lot.
Aimless, fairly perverted spouting about Mud Pics and Wallowing, while
waiting for the Next Show host to come in and take over... stalling
brilliantly, spew re: mind control, Elvisian eggshell-like brain
convolutions, heavy philosophical discussions about childhood sex. "Been
there, done that. I already died on the toilet. If only it was that easy.
When I signed my soul over to J. R. Bob"Dobbs..." (tape runs out)
--
Copyright 1996 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://sunsite.unc.edu/subgenius -- SubSITE of Slack
Jack Nutting
Rev. Ivan Stang (i.s...@metronet.com) wrote:
: HATE MAIL
: During the last 2 months we've been getting more and more "love mail" from
: Christians who want to kill us. It's all email and it's all due to
: SubSITE. This almost NEVER HAPPENED during the snailmail days of the
: Church. It seems to me the best proof ever that "moving to the Internet"
: was a WISE MOVE for the Board of Directors.
I think it would be wise to post some of this e-mail, Ivan.
--
\\ // Rev. Jack Nutting, jnut...@is.com (MIME/NeXTMail)
\// $ubvert Chief Doktor of Forbidden Sciences
//\ Integrity Solutions Software Engineer
// \\ http://www.is.com/Users/jnutting
Modemac
i.s...@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>During the last 2 months we've been getting more and more "love mail" from
>Christians who want to kill us. It's all email and it's all due to
>SubSITE. This almost NEVER HAPPENED during the snailmail days of the
>Church. It seems to me the best proof ever that "moving to the Internet"
>was a WISE MOVE for the Board of Directors.
If you're too busy to put this love mail on SubSITE, Stang (and you
probably are, seeing how the Time Control Labs require you to work 82-hour
days), how about dumping some if it here onto alt.slack for everyone's
amusement?
Posting email is generally considered a no-no. HOWEVER there are a few
general exceptions to this rule that are usually accepted by the public at
large:
1) Delete the name and email address of the sender so that no one knows who
it is.
2) If it's something truly abusive to the point where it's more than just a
mere flame, such as a gen-you-whine death threat, then posting the email is
considered a public service. So is reporting the death threat to the
system administrators of the ISP where it came from.
3) And of course, if the sender says "You can post this if you wish," then
you can post it if you wish.
So here's a proposal: When anyone on alt.slack wants to post Christian Love
Mail, just change the name and address of the poster to JEHOVAH-1
(jhvh-1@heaven) and let us hear how we should all Read Our Bibles Because
We're Going To Burn In Hell. (Those people can't even spell HELLE right!)
>JESUS NEEDS SOFTWARE
>ANY news reader!!!
>(Currently has Trumpetel software)
I am still quite happy with Free Agent, the FREE NEWSREADER that is EASY TO
SET UP. I have a link to it on my Web page under "Winsock Utilities,"
though you can get it directly by going to:
http://www.forteinc.com/forte/agent/
--
Reverend Modemac (mod...@tiac.net)
First Online Church of "Bob" "There is no black and white."
PGP Key Fingerprint: 47 90 41 70 B4 5B 06 90 7B 38 4E 11 8A ED 80 DF
URL: http://www.tiac.net/users/modemac/
(FINGER mod...@sunspot.tiac.net for a FREE SubGenius Pamphlet!)
John Hattan
mod...@tiac.net (Modemac) wrote:
>>JESUS NEEDS SOFTWARE
>>ANY news reader!!!
>>(Currently has Trumpetel software)
>
>I am still quite happy with Free Agent, the FREE NEWSREADER that is EASY TO
>SET UP. I have a link to it on my Web page under "Winsock Utilities,"
>though you can get it directly by going to:
>
> http://www.forteinc.com/forte/agent/
Agreed on Free Agent. I'm using the $29 registered version which
includes Kill Lists. It's the best one out there. The only problem is
that it's taken over a year for Forte' to go from version .99 to 1.0.
For an emailer, take a look at Pegasus. It has all the features of
Eudora Pro, and it's free. I'm currently using MS's Mail program for
Windows 95. It's not as capable as Pegasus, but it's really easy to
use.
All of this stuff is available at http://www.cwsapps.com/
---
John Hattan High UberPopeness -The First Church of Shatnerology
The Code Zone Sweet Software for a Saturnine World
hat...@fastlane.net http://www.fastlane.net/~hattan/
Rev. Ivan Stang
In article <i.stang-2511...@dal188.metronet.com>,
i.s...@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
> Dallas is about to be hit by the Mother of All Ice Storms (I HOPE!!). This
> may be my last communication for a while. (I HOPE!!)
>
Heck. The big disaster never happened.
Main reason I'm posting this is to see what one of my posts looks like
with a response following it.
Jim Vandewalker
RevJack wrote:
>
> Previously, Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> : In article <i.stang-2511...@dal188.metronet.com>,> :
> : > Dallas is about to be hit by the Mother of All Ice Storms (I HOPE!!). This
> : > may be my last communication for a while. (I HOPE!!)
> :
> : Heck. The big disaster never happened.
> :
> : Main reason I'm posting this is to see what one of my posts looks like
> : with a response following it.
>
>
>>>Jim the Prophet jumps up and down<<<<
Friday Jones
>RevJack wrote:
>>
>> Previously, Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>>
>> : In article <i.stang-2511...@dal188.metronet.com>,
>> : i.s...@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang) wrote:
>> :
>> : > Dallas is about to be hit by the Mother of All Ice Storms (I
HOPE!!). This
>> : > may be my last communication for a while. (I HOPE!!)
>> : >
>> : Heck. The big disaster never happened.
>> :
>> : Main reason I'm posting this is to see what one of my posts looks like
>> : with a response following it.
>>
>> *** RevJack gesticulates wildly ***
>>
>>>>Jim the Prophet jumps up and down<<<<
Friday Jones jiggles as she juggles
David F Lynch
Friday Jones (fri...@cybercom.net) wrote:
: In article <32A44C...@gate.net>, jim...@gate.net wrote:
:
: >>
: >> *** RevJack gesticulates wildly ***
: >>
: >>>>Jim the Prophet jumps up and down<<<<
:
: Friday Jones jiggles as she juggles
Would now be a good time to mention that there's vomit all over my
pants?
I thought not.
--
Dave (not David) Lynch/(.)(.)/Eligible Mutant Bachelor Uebergeek at large
dfly...@homer.louisville.edu/FILLER/Founder, First Church of Eternal Man
ObObsoleteHomepage:http://www.rlabs.com/lynch **** Please email followups
I'm SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!