Apology and Farewell
purple
All you have said about me is true. I am a fraud. I have never been
able to think of anything interesting or intelligent, even funny, on my
own. All I have ever been able to do is try to copy other people's
ideas. I copy people I want to be like, hoping it will make me more
like them. But all I can ever be is a bad copy of better and more
interesting people than I am. I have tried to copy the church of the
Subgenius because it was so much like the ideas I wish I could think of
myself, and never could. I envy you your ability to create and invent.
I envy your ability to capture people's interest. All my life I have
wanted to be funny and interesting but I have never been anything but
obnoxious and stupid.
I apologize to you. I apologize especially to Ivan Stang. I have been
a fool. I quit. I will never bother you again. I hope you will
remember that I only wanted to be like you. And I failed.
König Prüß, GmbH
No! The Church failed you! Be yourself 1,000%!
Disregard the delusionally grandiose rantings of these syphilitc sodomites.
What you might consider is getting a black trench coat, explosives, and
automatic weapons, and attending the next devival. If they can't take
a joke, fuck them! Right? If you shoot Nenslo first, "Bob" will give you
bonus points and a replica of his own pipe, the made in Hong Kong copy,
not the made in Taiwan copy.
Keith Smith
"purple" <pur...@ingress.com> wrote in message
news:389803...@ingress.com...
> To the readers of alt.slack, and subgeniuses of the world:
> All you have said about me is true. I am a fraud. I have never been
> able to think of anything interesting or intelligent, even funny, on my
> own. All I have ever been able to do is try to copy other people's
> ideas. I copy people I want to be like, hoping it will make me more
> like them. But all I can ever be is a bad copy of better and more
> interesting people than I am. I have tried to copy the church of the
> Subgenius because it was so much like the ideas I wish I could think of
> myself, and never could. I envy you your ability to create and invent.
> I envy your ability to capture people's interest. All my life I have
> wanted to be funny and interesting but I have never been anything but
> obnoxious and stupid.
>
> I apologize to you. I apologize especially to Ivan Stang. I have been
> a fool. I quit. I will never bother you again. I hope you will
> remember that I only wanted to be like you. And I failed.
I just scanned last month's posts and found what you were talking about.
Uhhhhh, that @#$%^&* does not speak for me, or to my knowledge, anybody
else.
Jeanne d'Arc~Shadows
wjb
>a fool. I quit. I will never bother you again. I hope you will
>remember that I only wanted to be like you. And I failed.
...and so there walks one who, in failing, truly walked the path of "Bob"..so,
someone give the kid a million bucks
"Act Like A Dumb Shit..And They Will Treat You Like An Equal"
Rev. Nickie
<icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
~ I'm a horrid, cruel, evil, nasty, disgusting, unrepentant
~ creature banished from HELL ITSELF...
~
~ YOU are just PATHETIC. Now that you're repentant,
~ you've ruined the last and only thing you ever had
~ going for yourself.
No, icee, sorry. You're just pathetic too.
~ Nice going, Winky the Wonder Hamster!
I think that's Harvey the Wonder Hamster.
--
*you have been blessed by a communication from*
-----Rev. Nickie the Hated,
Inquisitor General and Minister of Propaganda -
SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
"My way is superior to ALL OTHERS"
ICEKNIFE
Rev. Nickie wrote in message ...
<ok, well, she TRIED...>
Shut up, bitch.
ICEKNIFE
nic...@subgenius.com wrote in message <87o8jc$r3r$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
>In article <s9u51j...@corp.supernews.com>,
>I'M GOING TO AMSTERDAM AND YOU'RE NOT!
>
>NEENER!
uh, Ickie... I'm a hemp activist, and a member of one of
the groups that sponsors the Canabis Cup. We get
group rates four times a year. Nice try, but let's face
it, yer a "SLAYER ROOLS" kinda guttersnipe, destined
to live, appear on Jerry Springer, and die. Wherever
you go, there's vienna sausage on your breath, and trailer
parks in your eyes.
in other words...
Shut up, bitch.
nic...@subgenius.com
"ICEKNIFE" <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
>
> Rev. Nickie wrote in message ...
> <ok, well, she TRIED...>
>
> Shut up, bitch.
Let me put it this way:
I'M GOING TO AMSTERDAM AND YOU'RE NOT!
NEENER!
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
König Prüß, GmbH
> "ICEKNIFE" <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
>>
>> Rev. Nickie wrote in message ...
>> <ok, well, she TRIED...>
>>
>> Shut up, bitch.
>
>Let me put it this way:
>I'M GOING TO AMSTERDAM AND YOU'RE NOT!
>
>NEENER!
Is that like Tijuana?
Been to the American Pie in Kathmandu?
Steve Slack
Would you be willing to pull your CD's off the shelves, forward
the attached admission to your fans and all the magazines that
promoted you, and redirect them all to Subsite and the Sacred P.O. Box?
You see, we take intellectual property theft very seriously.
Much more seriously than MTV. And you have to admit that you were
quite cavalier about your appropriation of said property.
Not to mention lost and/or diverted revenues away from CotSG.
Usually, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If you
had approached Stang in the beginning and worked -within- the
church, your -sincerity- would have been secured. Plus which
you would have been regarded as much, much cooler.
Your sincerity will be confirmed not by your present admission
but by what you will do in the future. Please consider these
suggestions.
Thanks, Steve Slack
purple wrote:
>
> To the readers of alt.slack, and subgeniuses of the world:
> All you have said about me is true. I am a fraud. I have never been
> able to think of anything interesting or intelligent, even funny, on my
> own. All I have ever been able to do is try to copy other people's
> ideas. I copy people I want to be like, hoping it will make me more
> like them. But all I can ever be is a bad copy of better and more
> interesting people than I am. I have tried to copy the church of the
> Subgenius because it was so much like the ideas I wish I could think of
> myself, and never could. I envy you your ability to create and invent.
> I envy your ability to capture people's interest. All my life I have
> wanted to be funny and interesting but I have never been anything but
> obnoxious and stupid.
>
Steve Slack
Boddhisatva Troutwaxer
I dearly hope Steve mailed that directly to "purple's" mailbox as well
as posting it here. If you haven't Steve, go for it!!
By the way, did any of you notice that "purple" stole his name from the
novel "The Flying Sorceror's" (I hope I spelled that right!!) by Niven
and Gerrold!
T.
Boddhisatva Troutwaxer's Mongolian Torture Garden
http://home.pacbell.net/tungtung/troutwax.html
"Don't fuck 'em if the can't take a joke"
Mrs. Troutwaxer
nic...@subgenius.com
"ICEKNIFE" <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
> uh, Ickie... I'm a hemp activist, and a member of one of
> the groups that sponsors the Canabis Cup. We get
> group rates four times a year.
1.) You never leave your hovel.
2.) You're lying.
3.) I don't care if you LIVE in Amsterdam- you're not going with us, so
therefore you suck ass.
I'm tired of this "hemp activist" bullshit. I like getting FUCKIN'
FUCKED UP and HIGH AS CHRIST, as the brilliant Rev. Carter LeBlanc would
say, and the laws can't stop me. That's my "Bob"-dammed activism, and if
you don't like it, I got two words for ya.
> yer a "SLAYER ROOLS" kinda guttersnipe, destined
> to live, appear on Jerry Springer, and die. Wherever
> you go, there's vienna sausage on your breath, and trailer
> parks in your eyes.
Vienna sausage? I've never had an Austrian lover.
Actually, I'm going to be touring the trailer parks of Austin this
weekend, looking for one to rent. So there. I don't give a fuck where I
live, so long as it's big and clean and cheap.
It would be GREAT to be on Jerry Springer. I could get good publicity
for the Church. And don't fuckin' dis Jerry, man. He had GWAR on, and
even got eaten by the World Maggot at one of their shows. I watch him
every day, as I recline on the couch at my job, while I get paid. Slack,
anyone?
And the things I do while listening to Slayer....to hear about it would
warp your fragile little mind.
Don't try to be an elitist little snob fuck with nothing to base it on
save your own baseness.
-Rev. Fuckin' Nickie
kevbob
GMT with <8805gc$hlq$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>
>Don't try to be an elitist little snob fuck with nothing to base it
>on save your own baseness.
oh, how i love the double standards of the wymyn's libbers.
--
"Oh, the travel always gets me
Get in the car and drive it all over me"
-My Bloody Valentine
Sister Decadence
>In article <s9vfs1...@corp.supernews.com>,
> "ICEKNIFE" <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
>
>> uh, Ickie... I'm a hemp activist, and a member of one of
>> the groups that sponsors the Canabis Cup. We get
>> group rates four times a year.
>
>1.) You never leave your hovel.
>2.) You're lying.
>3.) I don't care if you LIVE in Amsterdam- you're not going with us, so
>therefore you suck ass.
>
>I'm tired of this "hemp activist" bullshit. I like getting FUCKIN'
>FUCKED UP and HIGH AS CHRIST, as the brilliant Rev. Carter LeBlanc would
>say, and the laws can't stop me. That's my "Bob"-dammed activism, and if
>you don't like it, I got two words for ya.
>
>> yer a "SLAYER ROOLS" kinda guttersnipe, destined
>> to live, appear on Jerry Springer, and die. Wherever
>> you go, there's vienna sausage on your breath, and trailer
>> parks in your eyes.
>
>Vienna sausage?
Your two words are "Vienna sausage"? tres bizarre.
> I've never had an Austrian lover.
>
>Actually, I'm going to be touring the trailer parks of Austin this
>weekend, looking for one to rent. So there. I don't give a fuck where I
>live, so long as it's big and clean and cheap.
Nickie, trailer parks in Texas are tornado magnets!!! Pick one with
it's roots waaaaaaaay into the earth.
>
>It would be GREAT to be on Jerry Springer. I could get good publicity
>for the Church. And don't fuckin' dis Jerry, man. He had GWAR on, and
>even got eaten by the World Maggot at one of their shows. I watch him
>every day, as I recline on the couch at my job, while I get paid. Slack,
>anyone?
>
>And the things I do while listening to Slayer....to hear about it would
>warp your fragile little mind.
>
>Don't try to be an elitist little snob fuck with nothing to base it on
>save your own baseness.
>
>-Rev. Fuckin' Nickie
>
>
>Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
>Before you buy.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are
largely ceremonial.
König Prüß, GmbH
Yeah, I've noticed that trailers are tornado magnets, what's up with that?
Anyway, I posted that thing about Annie Sprinkle 'cause I know that
you like her and met her and all.
Many years ago, I shared a place with a Puerto Rican hangliding instructor,
the good part is that he turned me onto hang gliding, Annie Sprinkle,
and Plato's Retreat. He had some of Annie's vids, I can remember a
few scenes from "Inside Annie Sprinkle" vividly. If I find any more
Annie Sprinkle stuff, I'll post it, I found that at www.salon.com
Well, does Nickie have Vienna sausage breath?
ICEKNIFE
nic...@subgenius.com wrote in message <8805gc$hlq$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
>In article <s9vfs1...@corp.supernews.com>,
> "ICEKNIFE" <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
>
>> uh, Ickie... I'm a hemp activist, and a member of one of
>> the groups that sponsors the Canabis Cup. We get
>> group rates four times a year.
>
>1.) You never leave your hovel.
>2.) You're lying.
>3.) I don't care if you LIVE in Amsterdam- you're not going with us, so
>therefore you suck ass.
>
>I'm tired of this "hemp activist" bullshit. I like getting FUCKIN'
>FUCKED UP and HIGH AS CHRIST, as the brilliant Rev. Carter LeBlanc would
>say, and the laws can't stop me. That's my "Bob"-dammed activism, and if
>you don't like it, I got two words for ya.
Oh, so your activism is being a big fat pink
WURMBABY, and pooting your cheapo TEXASS
ROOLIES redneck shitweed out yer greasy
stank blowhole while you glance about with
quick furative paranoid little squints thru your
wiggly face-fat, in dire fear that the eyes of texass
are indeed all up in your nasty shit, and going to
put you in prison for about a billion years, thanks
to the pinkshit prehistoric laws of your state.
Nice going. You're nobody's hero, and nobody's friend,
and you'll die alone and diseased in a texass prison.
You go, gurl.
>> yer a "SLAYER ROOLS" kinda guttersnipe, destined
>> to live, appear on Jerry Springer, and die. Wherever
>> you go, there's vienna sausage on your breath, and trailer
>> parks in your eyes.
>
>Vienna sausage? I've never had an Austrian lover.
LOVER? You call them LOVERS?
AW-HAW HAW HAW HAW!
What is LOVE, wurmbaby? C'mon, tell us what LOVE is.
You pathetic ragbag. You sad, ugly little rotted
sack of moist dust. I'd pity you, if you weren't such
a whiny abortion on a cracker.
>Actually, I'm going to be touring the trailer parks of Austin this
>weekend, looking for one to rent. So there. I don't give a fuck where I
>live, so long as it's big and clean and cheap.
Yup. A trailerpark in Texass. Can I call 'em, or what!
There IS a God, and she HATES you.
Shake your fist at the sky, stalled one.
SCREAM at the justice of it all. You're
going where you belong.
>It would be GREAT to be on Jerry Springer. I could get good publicity
>for the Church. And don't fuckin' dis Jerry, man. He had GWAR on, and
>even got eaten by the World Maggot at one of their shows. I watch him
>every day, as I recline on the couch at my job, while I get paid. Slack,
>anyone?
Are you Springer's left cunt, or his right one?
Someone lift his arms, and let's check.
>And the things I do while listening to Slayer....to hear about it would
>warp your fragile little mind.
You don't *DO* things, ickie... you imitate people who
do things. It's not the same. You're a WAX froot, wurmbaby.
>Don't try to be an elitist little snob fuck with nothing to base it on
>save your own baseness.
I'm sure that seemed clever to you, wow, base-baseness, oooo,
impressive. For a WURMBABY. MY "base" is SCIENCE, and *you*,
my living skid-mark, are a BIG PINK CRYBABY.
Slayer sucks. Jerry Springer is a subgenius, but anyone who
watches his show or appears on it is a fucking throwback.
Spare me the "snob" gambit, I saw Ringmaster, and Springer
is a populist shithead like you, only he's GOOD at it, and
a producer of it, unlike YOU, my wee weepy little conspicuous
CONsumer.
You can jump up and down and demand otherwise, like you do with
that stupid spanking "issue" thing you tried to fob off on people,
but the FACT is that you IS uh GIANT SEETHING BLOB OF
VELVEETA LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT MOROMON BOY TO
SWEEP YOU OFF YOUR CILIA AND WISK YOU AWAY TO
CLUB MAYO.
So, uh, don't bother the Dutch.
They'll hate you.
Sister Decadence
>Sis D:
>
>>On some day, Sister Decadence wrote:
>>> "ICEKNIFE" <icek...@lanminds.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>> uh, Ickie... I'm a hemp activist, and a member of one of
>>>> the groups that sponsors the Canabis Cup. We get
>>>> group rates four times a year.
>>>
>>>1.) You never leave your hovel.
>>>2.) You're lying.
>>>3.) I don't care if you LIVE in Amsterdam- you're not going with us, so
>>>therefore you suck ass.
>>>
>>>I'm tired of this "hemp activist" bullshit. I like getting FUCKIN'
>>>FUCKED UP and HIGH AS CHRIST, as the brilliant Rev. Carter LeBlanc would
>>>say, and the laws can't stop me. That's my "Bob"-dammed activism, and if
>>>you don't like it, I got two words for ya.
>>>
>>>> to live, appear on Jerry Springer, and die. Wherever
>>>> you go, there's vienna sausage on your breath, and trailer
>>>> parks in your eyes.
>>>
>>>Vienna sausage?
>>
>>
>>>
>>>weekend, looking for one to rent. So there. I don't give a fuck where I
>>>live, so long as it's big and clean and cheap.
>>
>>it's roots waaaaaaaay into the earth.
>>
>>>
>>>for the Church. And don't fuckin' dis Jerry, man. He had GWAR on, and
>>>even got eaten by the World Maggot at one of their shows. I watch him
>>>every day, as I recline on the couch at my job, while I get paid. Slack,
>>>anyone?
>>>
>>>warp your fragile little mind.
>>>
>>>save your own baseness.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>
>
> Yeah, I've noticed that trailers are tornado magnets, what's up with that?
One of Nature's Laws...or some shit.
>
> Anyway, I posted that thing about Annie Sprinkle 'cause I know that
>you like her and met her and all.
Well, thank you kindly. I dug it.
>
> Many years ago, I shared a place with a Puerto Rican hangliding instructor,
>the good part is that he turned me onto hang gliding, Annie Sprinkle,
>and Plato's Retreat. He had some of Annie's vids, I can remember a
>few scenes from "Inside Annie Sprinkle" vividly. If I find any more
>Annie Sprinkle stuff, I'll post it, I found that at www.salon.com
Let me know if you do! Thanks!! Annnnniieeeeeeee.............
>
> Well, does Nickie have Vienna sausage breath?
You asking MOI? Mah goodness, however would I know? Mah it's hot in
here.....*fanning herself*...Do you find it hot in here?
David Gerard
:nic...@subgenius.com wrote in message <8805gc$hlq$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>...
:>I'm tired of this "hemp activist" bullshit. I like getting FUCKIN'
:>FUCKED UP and HIGH AS CHRIST, as the brilliant Rev. Carter LeBlanc would
:>say, and the laws can't stop me. That's my "Bob"-dammed activism, and if
:>you don't like it, I got two words for ya.
:Oh, so your activism is being a big fat pink
:WURMBABY, and pooting your cheapo TEXASS
:ROOLIES redneck shitweed out yer greasy
:stank blowhole while you glance about with
:quick furative paranoid little squints thru your
:wiggly face-fat, in dire fear that the eyes of texass
:are indeed all up in your nasty shit, and going to
:put you in prison for about a billion years, thanks
:to the pinkshit prehistoric laws of your state.
You're just ashamed you're not that committed.
--
http://xenu.netizen.com.au/ http://www.caube.org.au/
"O, the lusingest thing about lusers/ Is: a luser's the lusingest thing/ Their
heads are made out of jelly/ And their brains made out of wet string/ They're
stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid/ Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb/ But the lusingest
thing about lusers:/ There's always more than one!" (henke)