To the readers of alt.slack, and subgeniuses of the world:
All you have said about me is true.  I am a fraud.  I have never been
able to think of anything interesting or intelligent, even funny, on my
own.  All I have ever been able to do is try to copy other people's
ideas.  I copy people I want to be like, hoping it will make me more
like them.  But all I can ever be is a bad copy of better and more
interesting people than I am.  I have tried to copy the church of the
Subgenius because it was so much like the ideas  I wish I could think of
myself, and never could.  I envy you your ability to create and invent.
I envy your ability to capture people's interest.  All my life I have
wanted to be funny and interesting but I have never been anything but
obnoxious and stupid.

I apologize to you.  I apologize especially to Ivan Stang.  I have been
a fool.  I quit.  I will never bother you again.  I hope you will
remember that I only wanted to be like you.  And I failed.