I missed this when it happened
Baltimor...@gmail.com
apes about a year ago.
http://ieet.org/index.php/IEET/more/balearicapes200703
This raises some interesting questions:
Does this include Yetis, Sasquaches, and other Gigantopithecus
subspecies?
Are chimps, gorillas, and orangs now obligated to pay $30 for
salvation?
Will the Ibeza party scene be overrun by refugee gorillas and chimps
whacked out on ecstasy and flailing to Paul Oakenfold?
-Rev Carter
Rev. Ivan Stang
While this effete little Spanish island's "granting personhood" to
apes is sorrowfully akin to Cleveland Heights calling itself a
"Nuclear Free Zone," I have to admit that JUST YESTERDAY I was telling
Wei that if I was rich and had spare change, I'd be giving it to
groups that help protect the great apes in their natural habitat,
because I consider their looming extinctions to be the most immediate
and unthinkable zoological disaster going.
Give those bastards another million years (especially if we ever are
designer-diseased out of the way) and they'll be rolling joints and
making porno movies. IF they don't all get killed off and their hands
made into paperweights for rich Belgians.
I just HATE the idea of humans being the only Earth creatures that
ever get to roll joints and shoot porno movies.
I am not worried about the extinction of the human species at ALL. I'm
much more concerned that humans end up being the ONLY species left,
and after our fall, all niches eventually end up being filled by our
distant descendants -- like lemurs once filled most ecological niches
in Madagascar, until humans got thre and killed every large diurnal
variation. The future "MOLES" and "BUZZARDS" and "DOGS" and "CHIMPS"
would be remote descendants of humans, though humans per se, thinking
ones, would have gone the way of dinosaurs. Stephen Baxter's wonderful
Darwinist propaganda piece EVOLUTION ends this way. Grossest ending of
any sci fi novel.
Rev. Ivan Stang
Speak of the devil:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7361539.stm
The most REALISTIC sci fi novels, the ones that turned out to be truly
prophetic? John Brunner's STAND ON ZANZIBAR and its follow-up, THE
SHEEP LOOK UP. Written in the 1960s, taking place about now. Reading
those is just like reading the news.
t...@homeofthegnome.net
All hail John Brunner. I loved his good books, loved his bad books.
He's the kind of paperback writer we could use more of.
Side note, I hardly recall the fracas about Whitley Streiber and his
alien abduction novel, but I discovered by accident he did a pretty
good one in a very similar style to Brunner called 'Nature's End.' I
accidentally bought it years ago mistaking it for an essay called 'The
End of Nature,' and I sez whathehell since I bought it anyway, and
read it. It turned out very reminiscent of Brunner, and of 'The Sheep
Look Up.' Addressed the issues above and more very well.
SODDI
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:e80fec62-9a8c-4618...@59g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
Apes? Things keep going the way they're going, we're going to lose a whole
CLASS in the next decade or so - amphimbia.
I don't think that whole classes have gone extinct since the Permian
Extinction Event (PEE) and maybe not even then.
THE FIFTH FIST OF THE SPACE GODS STANDS POISED ABOVE OUR PLANET!
Rev. Ivan Stang
> "Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote in messagenews:e80fec62-9a8c-4618...@59g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...
Yeah -- and it's US!
But I don't honestly CARE whether the newts and frogs ever get to
smoke joints and make porno movies. Might as well be Heat Vent Worms
Gone Wild for all I care.
Besides, the one pet we keep happens to be a fire newt that evidently
CANNOT die. (Like that singing frog in the Warner Bros. cartoon.) So
the amphibia are covered, even if there's ONLY ONE LEFT.
It's not always humanity's fault. I used to feel terrible about the
horned toads vanishing from Texas, assuming that 12 year old boys were
the mass-murderers, but it turned out that fire ants were much more
guilty. They invaded from the south and ate all the ants that the
horny-toads used to eat.
Somehow, learning that was a big load off my mind.
Another reassuring thing is that the absolute worst we humans could do
wouldn't hold a candle to a supervolcano or major-league asteroid
impact, either of which could happen any second. Not to mention... THE
CLOVERFIELD MONSTER!!! AIEEEEEEEE!
But this morning I was reading about all the cool monsters that lived
in the New World until 11,000 years ago when Mister Noble One-With-
Nature Redskin-to-Be came knock-knock-knockin' at the Bering Strait
door. Just in time to make it down through an opening in the ice sheet
that otherwise covered Canada. One thousand years later there were
Indians in Patagonia and no more giant sloths, glyptodonts,
mastodonts, camels, horses, lions, rhinos, or general MONSTER SLACK
whatsoever! Poor innocent monsters had never seen humans before. You
could probably walk up to a giant sloth and stick a spear right into
his brain through his eyeball back then. A whole continent of Sitting
Giant Ducks and a million humans ready to PARTAYYYY HEARTAYYYYY! It
must have seemed to them like the Happy Hunting Grounds come to life.
Temporarily. Happy-go-lucky bastards killed off all the animals that
they might otherwise have domesticated. And thus didn't build up the
kinds of immunities to disease that Old World folks had from sleeping
with their hogs, cattle and goats. And thus didn't stand the slightest
chance against measles and smallpox. At least the invaders got tobacco
out of the deal, which might eventually help even out the score a
little.
The important thing to remember is that the Heat Vent Worms will
probably still be thriving no matter WHAT happens. And eventually,
Heat Vent Worms Gone Wild becomes a reality. You just have to think in
terms of very very long time spans, and everything's all cheery. "Bob"
will always be Selling because he will always have Customers. AND THAT
IS ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS.
Ouroboros_Rex
Same thing happened on the Ringworld.
Rev Egg Plant
> humans per se, thinking
> ones, would have gone the way of dinosaurs.
You mean they haven't already? Will wonders never cease.
nenslo
<61cdf594-f4b2-43f4...@f63g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>,
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <st...@subgenius.com> wrote:
> But this morning I was reading about all the cool monsters that lived
> in the New World until 11,000 years ago when Mister Noble One-With-
> Nature Redskin-to-Be came knock-knock-knockin' at the Bering Strait
> door.
Not to mention the hippopotamus-sized Wombats that "mysteriously
vanished" just around the time the Noble Savages of Australia appeared.
Rev. Ivan Stang
> In article
> <61cdf594-f4b2-43f4-85d3-58f40a095...@f63g2000hsf.googlegroups.com>,
Nor the gorilla-sized lemurs of Madagascar once the Gentle Indonesians
moved in!
It's enough to make a fellow fantasize foolishly about... about aliens
coming and cleaning up the whole mess.
((SOB!! CHOKE!))
nikolai kingsley
> But the Balearic islands granted full "Personhood" to all of the great
> apes about a year ago.
>
> http://ieet.org/index.php/IEET/more/balearicapes200703
it just means the local lawyers are looking for a new group to
represent, and they've found a way to make the gummint pay for it. it
won't extend to, you know, not killing them and cutting off their feet
and selling the feet to the Chinese to make viagra out of. it certainly
doesn't extend to not shaving them and selling them to low-end
whorehouses in Indonesia.
nikolai kingsley
> The future "MOLES" and "BUZZARDS" and "DOGS" and "CHIMPS"
> would be remote descendants of humans, though humans per se, thinking
> ones, would have gone the way of dinosaurs. Stephen Baxter's wonderful
> Darwinist propaganda piece EVOLUTION ends this way. Grossest ending of
> any sci fi novel.
every single primate clade living on Niven's Ringworld agrees with this
post.
nikolai kingsley
> Besides, the one pet we keep happens to be a fire newt that evidently
> CANNOT die. (Like that singing frog in the Warner Bros. cartoon.)
let me get this straight.. this fire newt won't die when you're alone
with it, but whenever someone else is around, it will?
nikolai kingsley
> Not to mention the hippopotamus-sized Wombats that "mysteriously
> vanished" just around the time the Noble Savages of Australia appeared.
HEY! they were kicked out of Papua New Guinea for perfectly valid reasons!
nikolai kingsley
> Nor the gorilla-sized lemurs of Madagascar once the Gentle Indonesians
> moved in!
>
> It's enough to make a fellow fantasize foolishly about... about aliens
> coming and cleaning up the whole mess.
think of it as an Xist spraying for aphids.
although once you start thinking about it like that, it becomes very
easy to think "probably should do something about all those Chinese
peasants... a couple of giant roach motels should do the trick."
Zapanaz
I think it was more like "OH FUCK ... MCDONALD'S ON THE HOOF, 10,000
BC!"
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
When you give food to the poor, they call you a saint.
When you ask why the poor have no food, they call you a communist.
- Archbishop Helder Camara, Brazilian liberation theologist
:: Currently listening to Things We Said Today, 1964, by The Beatles, from "A Hard Day's Night"
Rev. His Holiness Speaks
That smells like a good deal to me. Like the Late Thompson's Detroit
car ferry. What say you and me go in 50/50 on this shaved ape
proposition and reap the sweet rewards. We've got nothing to lose!
The worst that can happen is we end up with a warehouse full of pink,
prickly Anthropoid Benefits.
t...@homeofthegnome.net
> But this morning I was reading about all the cool monsters that lived
> in the New World until 11,000 years ago when Mister Noble One-With-
> Nature Redskin-to-Be came knock-knock-knockin' at the Bering Strait
> door. Just in time to make it down through an opening in the ice sheet
> that otherwise covered Canada. One thousand years later there were
> Indians in Patagonia and no more giant sloths, glyptodonts,
> mastodonts, camels, horses, lions, rhinos, or general MONSTER SLACK
> whatsoever! Poor innocent monsters had never seen humans before. You
> could probably walk up to a giant sloth and stick a spear right into
> his brain through his eyeball back then. A whole continent of Sitting
> Giant Ducks and a million humans ready to PARTAYYYY HEARTAYYYYY! It
> must have seemed to them like the Happy Hunting Grounds come to life.
> Temporarily. Happy-go-lucky bastards killed off all the animals that
> they might otherwise have domesticated. And thus didn't build up the
> kinds of immunities to disease that Old World folks had from sleeping
> with their hogs, cattle and goats. And thus didn't stand the slightest
> chance against measles and smallpox. At least the invaders got tobacco
> out of the deal, which might eventually help even out the score a
> little.
Sounds almost like you been hittin' on one I'd been reading by Jered
Diamond a few weeks back. I'm sure some of you had read that one or
others he borrows from long ago, but Jered Diamond's 'Guns, Germs and
Steel' is one class act, and an overwhelmingly sensible argument for
evolution and factual history (or as factual as possible), as opposed
to creationism and occult folklore. Highly recommended for anybody
who likes it real.
Purchased but have not yet read his follow-up, 'Collapse, Why
Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed.' I'm almost too depressed
thinking about which course our society has apparently -- Wup-wup just
kidding. It ain't over 'til it's over, which will be July 5, 1998
folks, so send your $30 salvation baksheesh! I'll be readin' that one
sometime before Jul 5, but I gotta read me some good pulp right now to
bolster mah spirits.