How does one slay a slack vampire?
Rev. Panik EVlynn Bedlam
me hassle. your traditional vampire is easy enough having multiple
meathods shown in movies and the psychic vampires are just an internet
search away for soloutions... but what of these ass sucking living oil
slick barnicles that try to suck our slack?
the ones i'm dealing with seem to be hybrids, assuming the form of a
late eightes yuppie yet culled from the same nerd roots that many
Subgenius hail from. i care not think what dire event twisted them
into the pathetic drones drifting about speaking for hours around the
water cooler discussing last nights TV. all this before decending on
me and hitting me with salvos of sports triva until i fall paralyzed;
after which the details are too painful to remember.
I have tried a few methods derived from my own occult research;
driving a carton of half and half though their lung, burrying their
coffee mug in a Wal-mart parking lot, filling their cube with Herbal
suppliments hoping the pungence would drive them away. so far none of
these has worked.
does anyone have a more tested meathod?
Rev. Susie the Floozie
wrote:
Shove a potato up their tailpipe.
It doesn't matter if they have a car or not.
Rev. Panik EVlynn Bedlam
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luckily they have SUVs, because their more "traditional" tail pipes
are welded shut and covered with silocon replacements. thus why they
are full of shit
Rev. Susie the Floozie
"Hell-OOOooo...!" Re-read the last line of my post. And get some more
irony in your diet.
Rev. Panik EVlynn Bedlam
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I understood you, i was just stating the difficulty of getting a spud
supository shoved up a sealed copper rectum. perhaps i should i use
an industrial drill to rip them a new one, or prehaps weld a salad
shooter to their bums?
SusietheFloozie
The Jaws of Life will open up even the Sphincter of Death.
At least that's the word on the street.
Rev. Panik EVlynn Bedlam
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Jaws of life? wow! what a great idea, that pnumatic maw would really
do a job on them buns of steel.
i guess if that's the case, i could probably make money by hunting
this specific breed of Vampire.
i'm sure people would pay out the nose to see that kind of heavy metal
"ass to mouth"
i'll make sure to send you a nice percentage of what I make on it
after i give "Bob" his cut.